finally, here the photo. i was happy, i was exhilarated, i was jumping up and down, because this is my last day of ITP!!
advertising for this shop! Delicious!
cute posing to attract people!!
what a happy family..... whahaha!!
4 months of friends! thank you!!

--- Closure for ITP! ---

here i am again, thought i would have nothing to blog about, but u never predict anything that is going to happen.

we are often limited to the restrictions surrounding us.
because of this, we are not allowed to do this,
because of that, we are not allowed to do this,
because of this, we are supposed to do this,
because of that , we are supposed to do that.

we are always tied to things we hate to do, things we dislike, but due to circumstances, we HAVE to do that, we HAVE to do this. i don understand.
now, i more and more realise that i can't do things i don't like. no use forcing me into things i don't like, because in the end, i will acculmulate all the unhappiness, then burst altogether one day. that will be worse.
people complaining that i didn't provide necessary customer service, but let me tell you the guy who complain got no MANNERS! Damm... he is such a pussy! i just cant take it lying down. it might be my wrong, but i don often make this mistake, it was just once or twice, yet i was caught by this pussy. idiot!!
the more i work, the more i can't gain any satisfaction from the work anymore.
is like i always make mistake nowadays. so i cant find my satisfaction in this work. is like everything is gone. is it me or the place?

why is it that always when i am ready to go travel and relax and refresh myself, i am always dumped with stupid problems. my friends! my work! always dumped me with this freaking problems.
then in the end, when i come back, i will just disappear from where i supposed to appear. it happened 2 years ago, will the same thing repeat itself?

i am freaking f**king tired..................
will u people give me a break!
i am definitely not living very happily......
i hate life....
hate how life is supposed to live....
hate the attitude i recevied.

i was served by bad customer service but i don go around complaining to the manager, or what so ever, why must this happen to me.!
people who provide bad customer service can get away, it only happen to me once, and the problems all started coming. am i such a bad luck? argh!

everything is gona have a change, a new change.
i was really happy for that moment of joyful! i was exhilarated when i know i am gettin out of there, i was about to just shout out loud. i have friends who are there to share the joy, was so fun! thought things between the 3 of us isn't like last time, but lucky, the feeling is still there. i still love to be with Cfren and Jfren together. we have to be together to be fun, not missing any one of us. i think i am the only one among them who felt so, i really love the 3 of us together. i hope everything wil be as fun and fun and more fun for the next semster.
what could be more fun to have the 3 of us together?
i hope everything will be this fun!!

is it that u remember wrongly or u purposely?
i was left in daze... my determination wasn't that strong anyway.


the after-feelings for leaving the place? HAPPY! though i felt happy, but the happines is gone for the moment. cos everything will return to how it will be. nothing much to celebrate about too. just got rid of those early waking up, those slacking at work. but guess, i will somehow still miss those lunch times with my intern-mates, if not for them, i will be alone. thank god, have them, if not this whole internship is going to be worse. thanks my friends - yixiong & alex! had quite alot of laugthers, shared alot of complains, know each other better, i guess next time in school, we wont be just any HI-BYE friends, but friends who will stop and chat abit more... WHahahah!!

now, to admit, i do feel abit empty and lost. what should i do next? what is going to happen? what is stepping into my life?
what is it that i am worryin? what is it that i am not happy about?


guess i am still not strong enough. been feeling alittle restless nowadays, haven been the chirpy me. don know whether Jfren felt that. i know that my conversation with her wasnt as interesting as previous, i have been keeping more quiet than usual.


i really hope the hongkong trip will change me, make me a happier person, and hope it will be a fun fun fun trip! i yearn for that.... cool!! see you guys when i am back fron hongkong then. guess nowadays, i wont have the time and effort to blog interesting post. :)

come on my frens, sing with me "yeap yeah yippe yea, hurray ray!!!" cool!!

MY LAST DAY OF INTERNSHIP!! GOD...can u believe it? is my last day today.. i am high, i am happy, i am over the wheels, over the heels, over over over and happy! my freaking long awaited moment, can u feel my anxious to get out? feel my happines ? feel how happy i am? whooo! i am out of here, out of morning wake ups, out of aching back, out of marina square foodcout, out of raffles city, out of this place!! i am just so happy.. can i shout! i wanna shout !! OH YEAH!! i am just so free now..i am out i am going off. i wanna start my life with a new goal with a new future and with a new mind. i wanna have a good holiday and take some rest and then i will start my school with a fresh mind and everythin new.
so, tune on to see a new of me! i will be new!!
haha..

people must think that i am crazy to be like so hyper and high, bet people in internship before can understand how i feel. i am just so happy.



everything has come to an end, i will start everything anew, a new me, a new character me. but of cos, some wil stay with me, but of cos i hope the bad one get away. half an hour more i gonna shut down my computer, put it back, give some chocolates and say bye bye to the department, come back here, give some chocolate and say bye bye to the people here...
hahhaa...
see, how good i am, buy chocolate for them.. godness, only chocolate.. i am broke, offically broke...

anyway i am still looking forward for soemthing else,
Cfren and Jfren knows. we are in it together.. love them,
meeting them later..
i going to party party party!
alright....going to do things now..bye bye...

i found something interesting. i've got nothing to do, so i went online to search my name, and i found alot of people having the same name as me. i was totally cool by it! haha..if u know what i am trying to say. i thought nobody else will have the same name as me. and those people having the same name as me are those professor, doctor,president of a company. isn't it cool? will i make it there when i am old? haha...

love, god! i surrender to that. why? i have watched too much dramas, too much. i know i love watching this genre of dramas, cos sometimes it can be so sweet, sometimes so sad, and sometimes so happy.but everytime, after i finish one drama, i start thinking, does this kind of love exist in the world? how could it possibly be? love the person until you find it difficult to breathe, wish to see the person every second every minute and every hour and every day, really give the whole heart to that person, willing to die for that person. will i see all this in reality? is too much to take for reality. but everytime i watched drama, i could really feel how much they loved that person, how hurt they felt, how sad they are, how happy are they, but i can't feel the happiness that surround them every moment.
the kind of drama always have the same plot and somehow same storyline, both main cast Girl and Boy love each other, but for some reasons cannot be together, Evil girl and evil boy will come into the picture using every opporunites to ruin the relationship between them, but in end, they not only didnt get what they want, they brought the Girl and Boy closer together, and made them realise more that they need each other. isn't all this plot seems so familiar. though it is similar, i still watch every this kind of drama. i always love the part where the boy always try so hard so hard to protect the girl. however, all this cannot be brought up into real life. have to seperate drama with reality.
so, drama always give me hope, but reality tarnish them! so i hate reality.
i am those fairytale girl.
haha..ppl,please don laugh.
if can, pls go find me non-fairytale girl. i bet almost all of the girls in the world would wish for fairytale love and fairytale living together happily everafter ending. but so sad, i could only find all this in dramas! but whatever, i still can see fairytale somewhere.


musical box, long since i have opened a musical box and listen to all the music. i have always like musical box. it is such a special box, you open up, not looking at a empty box, but when u opened the box, music could be heard, beautiful music, childhood music, interesting music, pink panter music. musical box sounds like magic box. yeah, indeed is a magic box, it can produce sound, isnt is magical? i think i should live in those fairytale times, when prince charming ride a horse and look for me, give me a musical box as present and in the end we live happily everafter...
wahhahhahahahaah!
godness! i am laughing when i wrote that. am i crazy? why did all this sudden came into my mind.
whatever is anything.


people can u believe it? 2 more days, and i will be free from here! ya! here! i will be free. this is so unbelievable. i cant believe it. i am leaving. i have been here for long. i am going leave,and have a good holiday, have a hardworking holiday and start school, dump myself into piles and piles of school work and my part time, then graduate, then work and save money. this is all not my life. my life will only begins when i study what i want to study. that is my life. that is when my interesting life gonna happen. i am not expecting too much, but i will suppress my eager to start studying what i want to earn for that. i am going earn my own money to study what i want. so in the end, if i failed i have no one to blame except me. the most i blame god...


arent i long winded, can talk and write for non stop. anyway, let me report, the time now is 5.32 pm. so it means i have got like 15 more mins to go to say bye bye.
so let me just rant abit more.
i am trying very hard.
trying and trying.
i will be happy with the decision to end what i am suffering
but sad for the result though it is what i should deserve,


wonderful fairytale,
ugly princess,
where is prince charming?
please dont appear,
if prince charming appear,
ugly princess will not shine,
and will be uglier.
so,don appear until ugly princess shine!

whats wrong with me writing all those funny things?
i am mad.
i want to be alone.
i am tired.
real tired.
pls let me off.

back to work, hmm..should i be happy? this is my last week here!!! i should be happy...yet i am not feeling it. it isnt that i miss this place, i guess i also don know how i should explain. but ya, i am left with freaking 3 more days! come on my friends cheer for me! YEAH! great, being here make me crazy.

anyway, i do have alot of things i want to express again, but i guess i will slowly recap what i wanna say then write it down.
but first let me say something "What! beckham isnt in england team anymore?!" you must me kidding me. how can he not be in the team. i know young and good players are coming up, isnt experienced players important too.i feel that he made alot of contributions in this year's world cup! though he didnt led the team to the finals, but still he made alot of contributions. i am so sad! rumoured that lennon is taking over beckham's position, he is a fast player, but i think beckham is still a great player. guess, i have to catch real madrid to watch more of his play, but spanish leagues isnt very exciting and interesting.


okie, i am loss for words, let me just stop here first.

red light means "GO!", green light means "STOP!", what does orange light means?

i have a phobia for traffic light, i don like seeing red,green and orange together. i hate it, hate it terribly. when do i have to stop? when do i have to slow down? when do i need to speed up? next time i shall hire a driver! i wont agree that driving is cool! is horrible.


i feel a sense of saddness overwhelming me. i seriously cant figure out where the saddness is coming from. maybe is from alot of things. like work, life, and different kind of relations.

finally, my long awaited internship is finally ending, but i am not extremely happy. i guess is because i waitied for this moment for too long, and the happy feeling has died down. so, when it is ending, i just take it as nothing. or actually deep down, i already got used to this life?
ya, i know we have to get used to things around us, have to get used to a new environment, have to get used to things that we dont like, have to get used just to survive. life are just so sad.

or is my saddness coming from elsewhere? that i didnt know that i will be real sad over it? cos, i have 100% put everything down and give up. i have to put down to make my life a better life. i have to put down in order to accept new things in my life. i have to put down cos it just causing me so much saddness and restrictions. i have to put it down cos i have been deceiving myself. i have to put it down cos i read too much into it. i have to put it down cos everythings are just nothing, i have to put it down, cos i am awaiting for new challenges in life. i have to put it down to start a new life. i have to put it down cos it has been lingering for too long, i have to put it down cos there nothing more that i can do. so now, i can really say that i have put down! i am happy for this decision, but sad for the result. but i am hoping that my life will be happier and better.

i keep saying and telling everybody that i wanna be sick, let sick befalls me. i guess this sickness is coming at the wrong time and is coming very slowly.
i feel weaker day by day. illness coming 1 by 1. first was flu,consistent flu, second was cough, very dry cough, third is stomach upset, fourth will be giddy. i know myself, i know that when i am sick, i will be emotionally weak as well. i will be a very weak person when i am sick and i know it. thats why i can feel tears every now and then. but lucky it didnt rolled down, if not alot of people will start staring at me and asking me what happen. so, i still can controlled my tears.

this year's national day, i didnt go and catch the fireworks. i love fireworks alot alot. cos it is very beautiful and in singapore, it can only be seen on special occasions. so, i treasure fireworks alot. but, i didnt go..................... watching it on tv is not interesting at all, i cant feel the hot, i cant feel the beauty and i cant feel the loud bang! i jus cant feel the fireworks.

fireworks are beautiful
they light up the dark sky,
brighten the dull black,
give hopes to the livings,
though it doesnt last long,
but we capture the beauty of it!


i wanna test my patience!

I nearly broke down. Things went so out of hand and it became so hard to end everything. Nosy people started the fire, innocent people get burned in the fire. Firemen doesn't have enough water to save the innocent people, eventually they were burnt alive and die. A stupid person stood by the fire and see how the innocent people die. In the end, when the innocent people are dead, the stupid person feels guilty, feels down, feels sad. The person knew he/she could do something more to just help. But in the end, everyone get hurt in this incident. The people who start this fire is the culprit.

People, tell me how to prevent the innocent people get burnt alive?

Things are always very complicated. It is always some miscommunications somewhere, some misunderstandings here and there. Slowly, everything sums up, and triggered people's emotions. How should I go about describing?

Last 2 year, before I went hong kong, I was dumped with some problems from my fren,

Now, after 2 years, I am going hong kong for holiday again, I was dumped with problems from my frens as well..

Will history repeat itself?

Will I just stay away because I am too tired of it?

Because, "history tends to repeat itself" can always be seen on me.

Things are always changing in my life.

Somehow, deep in my heart, I know what I want in my life, but I am afraid to make a bad decision which will concern my whole life, and which my future lies on it. I am afraid, I am scared, because no one can assure me that what I am going to do, will have a good prospect. Everyone gave me a negative comment about it. I am so down.

Enough things for me to vex, more things coming. Am I someone that couldn't take what it comes, or couldn't take the pressure that is coming? My work, I have more responsibility having to coach the trainees, and I am trying very hard to be very nice and to be very patient to them because I put myself in their shoes, but then they aren't giving the right attitude. They seems that they don't give a damm or don't even bother. What is this? Why I have to do all this? Why can I just work and have fun during work.

I am so tired and worn out. I just want to have a good rest and a long holiday free from worries and troubles.


However, I can be more sure that I gave up or I have put down. Sometime, I should relaxed and shouldn't make myself miserable. I should enjoyed my life, though I doesn't sound that I am right now. But, I am sure I have some happy moments.

Nowadays, I wrote very long very long blog entries, because I got so much time, so much time that I can really think through what I wanna say or what I wanna blog, then I slowly phrase it out and write it here.

Am I a boring blogger? Haha…

Daily lifestyle, I am restricting myself from bloggin daily lifestyle. Is so funny. So I rather post thing that I feel in life or some pretty enlightenment stuffs.

Haha, this 2 days, my tears are just at corner of my eyes, if I think more, tears will just rolled down. Is it because that I am feeling sick therefore feeling emotionally weak as well?
Or is it that I wanna cry but suppress myself? Which is the one I am feeling now?
Of cos, only I am able to tell.



Latest fashion updates – A new adidas watch is out, the digital old school series!
Now they have a new pattern, it is quite unique and modern.
Adidas is cool! Yeah! Yippe… are they gonna start thier fashion
trend soon....

my current hot favourite couple..... YEAH!!

my hot favourite now!! just cant resist!! whahahah!!

I am emotional, dramatically emotional. I lost sense of my direction, I lost who I am, I lost what I wanna be. I did say that dreams tend to be difficult to realize, that's why it was call Dreams. But, I have come to realize that not everyone can fulfill their dreams. I want to be the one that can fulfill my dreams, but situation given here doesn't allow me to go ahead. I always hear "go ahead and pursue your dreams", but then how many can really pursue their dreams? Many are driven to desk-bound jobs because they realize that their dreams are far out of reach. I am contradicting. I heard one say " you never know the results if you never try". Of course, I totally agree with this saying. But not everyone can afford the time and money to keep trying. If I am rich, I won't have any worries, and I will just follow my dreams. If I am young, I won't have so many doubts, and go with my heart. But the thing here is I am neither rich nor young. I cannot afford to waste another 3 years to realize that I have to starve with this field that I will be in. So what's now?

Go with my heart and purse my dreams?

Or

Given the circumstances, I should jus go with the demand?


I am terribly in a dilemma. Why I don't know what I want when I was choosing my course of studies?
Why didn't I explore what I like when I am entering poly. Hell of me. I regretted totally.
Everyone's opinion is that I must be the best to survive in my field. What if I can't be the best?
I am trying to give myself confident, but still I have to think of the negative side and the consequences.

Why am I stuck here? In the middle of a crossroad, not knowing which direction to go, not knowing where I will be heading, not knowing what my future lies for me, not knowing what I should do.
I am terribly feeling down everyday thinking about what I should do.
With graduation coming nearby, things have to fall apart and have to settle. I have to think a solution and my way to the future.

I once told myself, what is life. It seems everyone is living such a mono life. After their studies, they come out to work, after some years of working, they settle down start a family, after few years of newly-wed, they give birth, bring up the children, educate their child, and then become old.
I told myself, this isn't the kind of life I was looking for. I don want to live such a life. I feel that this kind of life seems that you are living for the sake of living, and not live for the sake of living for yourself.
I told myself, I want to do things I like, I want to do things I love. I should pursue things I love and go for things I love. But why am I here keep rattling about whether I should take up what I love?
What am I still worrying for?

I have always know that, actions speak louder than words. I can keep rattling non stop, but u will never see the actions. U may think that I always talk big, but no actions. Maybe this is me?

Have I found me? Do I love the me now?all this questions starting to pile up inside my head. Am I being too over, doubting myself? Maybe some might think so, some otherwise. I am trying hard just to leave all this aside and relax. I am totally vexed over this matter. I am tired thinking. I am tired vexing. I am totally tired and worn out. I am have a big headache. I am not smiling anymore. I am tired.


I have always been a happy girl. Since when did I become unhappy? Unhappy about the life I am leading now? Unhappy about the path I chose, unhappy about how I go about ruining my life. Even worse, unhappy about my whole character. Damm it! all this shouldn't have happen on me. My life is a mess. I don know what I want and what I want and what I want!!!


I wish for someone to tell me what I should do, or maybe can advise me.

Maybe living in the 20's or 50's is more carefree and good. You would have to be so ambitious and live the way everyone is living. Trying hard to earn a living. Having all the time to relax and everyone just be together. No worries at that time about what you like what you want and what are dreams.

This is totally a headache!!!

i am going to use the remaining around 40 minutes to blog…
god, I am going crazy staying here, I seriously cant wait for 17th August. The day that I am set free from this whole attachment thing. Is getting so out of hand that I cannot take it. so tiring, I jus cant wait to end this thing and think bout my future and do things I wanna do, meet ppl I want to meet.

True enough, I will get so influenced by certain tv serials or movies. Psychology, I remembered I wanted to study this a lot . cos I think it is an interesting thing to understand what other people are thinking and what psychology problems they are facing. When one tends to think a lot, they will got hysterical, and jus cant get the thing off their mind. Is psychology about subconscious kinda of thing? What is subconscious then? Does it occur on me too? I wonder sometimes. How come there will be people stuck in their own world of fantasy and never get out? They cant be called insane, they jus cant untie the knot in them. So what does this people have in mind, if they live in their own world of fantasy, do they know who they really are? I am really interested in knowing whats on their mind. And how psychology therapy can help them get out of their world of fantasy. It is so fascinating isn’t it? understand human’s thinking. But what often and tends to happen is that, you understand people very well, yet u are the one that don’t understand yourself. Understand yourself? What definition is this? How do I considered myself, understand myself? Psychologist can understand one’s character and emotion and their thinking based on certain things they do, they write, they like, they talk, they walk. Does it really tells it all? I like words written in italic, so what does that mean? I walk slanted? Haha… no, I am jus joking. Hmm, interesting, this is so interesting. I think there are a lot more to know about psychology. But I guess I am not up to it. hmm, what does this mean? I know! I don have confident! Like Duh!! Everyone knows that… haha.. lolx…


Pirates of carribean – dead man chest! Though, it isn’t as interesting as the black pearl, but it still meets my expectations. The show was funny from the start, and though the fighting scene increased and story has to be continued, but it was still a good show. I had a good laugh! I admire Johnny depp as an actor! He is incredible, he is marvelous, he is fantastic!
Cos the reactions in the show, he was superb! That’s what make me laugh. He was funny in the show. Though the whole show lasted for like 2 and a half hour, but I don’t feel that it was 2 and a half hour, it doesn’t feel that long, so still, it was a show that is worth the watch.

Tokyo Drift – I watched this show as well, wow! The girls were hot, and the cars are fantastic. The drift was alright compared to initial D, initial D looks more real. Tokyo drift contains more action pact but still it was a good show not to be missed! Cos it is pretty thrilling and exciting.

Cool, I watched like 2 shows! Haha.. cos this 2 show I really wanted to catch it very much.

I am so tired now, why why why? Nothing to say.

I am watching project runway season 3.. hmm, don know why I still prefer season 2 with Andrea, “where is Andrea”, Daniel Vosovic “he is hot!”, Chloe Dao “I like her”, Santino “the irritating one” …jus keep watchin season 3 and see more dramas coming up!

i am bored,tired both mentally and physically...things jus seem that it isnt going well.....though,i am left with exactly 13 more days to end my internship, but it seems never ending.....
so when is this going to end, though the people here are very nice, but then i am very tired already.. jus feel like i wanna get out of here...
the world is revolving around the sparkling hips of FASHION --> my new nick...now everywhere, people pay attention to fashion..right?
the sense of fashion, everyone has a different view in each fashion expects.. don ever think i am trying to talk big here, saying fashion blah blah blah...i didnt know i love fashion so much...i hope i can do something regarding fashion, i hope i can work something out of this..will anyone support me? i need support, cos i have been receiving negative comments about working in this industry. so i need lots of support, or jus drop me some positive comments about fashion industry. i know it is going to be difficult. but tell me, whos dream arent difficult to realise? i don mind the hardship but in the end will i be able to make it? will i be able to stand in the fashion industry. this is a big question. please don ever think i am influence by project runway, though i love that show, but i am not influence by the show in wanting to work in fashion industry..
fashion represent different terms in each individual. for me, i perfer comfty yet interesting attractively. color plays a big part in a shirt. not only color, the cloth and texture also plays a big role..there are so many to learn in fashion...

i always watch TV dramas, they quoted "not everything money can buy" but trust me, money can buy qualifications. if i've the money, i would have study overseas...i could have study overseas and learn more thing and expose more and know more people and not stuck here. it isnt that here is not good, but is always better to go outside the world to see..money can buy all that, without money, even travelling will be difficult... though money cant buy feelings, but it can help me get better qualifications!!

hmm, i am not feeling well and am feeling very sleepy...i don know what happening to me..i wanna shut myself up alone...i wanna be alone...when i am supposed to sleep at night, i have no idea why i jus couldnt fall asleep, when i am not allowed to sleep while i was workin, i keep dozing off....i also don know whats wrong with me...i am so confused over myself...seriously confused...
does anyone else feels the same as me? confused about themsevels?
confused about thigns they do, things they like, things that gets in their way, things that is never ending... many many things....
maybe a trip back, i will be more refreshin and start everything anew...
i put down what i am supposed to put down, no longer holding on,
maybe because i let go of my hand, then i felt that i am too tired all long. trying to be someone i am not.... so a break for me is the most suitable..

i have been thinking, will there be a day that i will go travelling myself? exploring the city mmyself? i don mind travelling myself in hongkong, actually i love hongkong, esp the language that was spoken there, i understand what they say, but i jus cant speak as fluently as they could. so sad... no one to practicse cantonese with me..
haven to pretend that i am a hongkie when i cant speak fluent cantonese..haha...
cool, you guys know why i keep blabbering non-stop? cos i have too much free time, i wanna write alot of philosophy....
let talk topic by topic....

i wanna talk bout project runway,
the final 3, 1) Daniel V 2) chloe Dao 3)Santino Rice....
i like chloe's collection as much as i like daniel's v collection...they are both great designers, and daniel v have achieved so much at such a young age, i admired him, and he is both talented and handsome. needless to say, i find him hot.... but then........
everytime i see them draw their design,shopping for clothes, executing their design, sewing on their own.. if i am as capable as them, i would feel a sense of satisfaction. being able to made your own design out from your own bare hands, isnt this achievements statisfying!!
i admire and envy their smart brains and their determination and jealous of their opporunity.. i wish i have the chance they have, but it will be hard for me even to step out of singapore to study...

i was listenin to radio one night, and i heard the Dj mention this phrase "the thing that is constant is changing" i couldnt get what it means immediately after hearing the sentence, i keep repeating the phase in my head and try to figure out what it means.
the thing that is constant is changing.
which mean changing is normal in life,it is the thing that keep on happening in our life.
am i right?pretty true, changing keeps on happening..i find the change in my friends, i find the change in myself,changing can be so scary that you wont expect it to be...

wow, i bet i have been ranting on and on for a long time already, but it jus like 3.45pm
but i still wanna keep writing, thats the only thing that i can do now,
the entire net, i have surfed like almost everythign i wanna surf, search almost everything i wanna search, see almost everythin that i wanna see...
i am so tired of website ready....

My current NEW Obession ---> Bosco Wong
he is my fav hottie now!! with Myolie Wu....they make a great pair...
i begining to love him more and more, he is so man, so gentleman,so funny,so cute and so playful. when you need a man, he is a man, when u need a clown to cheer u up, he can be one, when u need some fun, he can be very fun to be with... though i don know him, but he give me this kind of feeling...what an ideal boyfriend, with character, ambition, height and build. he is the perfect man yet again!
he can be both a man and a guy... i like him!!! isnt him jus the perfect guy....woo..hope i can meet him if i am in hongkong! praying hard.... hahaha!!
i never change my idols, jus that my idols keep increasing,start from male first
daniel chan --> takuya kimura --> Mike he jun xiang --> Raymond lam --> lee dong gun --> bosco wong !!! they are all handsome guys okie!!
female artise
mandy moore --> hilary duff --> rainie yang --> myolie wu
hahhahahahaha....a childish side of me...damm! hahah...
okie...i am trying to write until my clock here strike 4pm...when it strike 4pm, i am left with 2 hours...2 long hours,though i hope i can go home and rest, but i have to be out..i am tired! mentally and physically tired...
6 more mintues to 4pm5 more minutes to 4pmblah blah bla blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah4 more minutes to 4pm blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 3 more minutes to 4pm bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco2 more mintues to 4pmmyolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie1 more mintue to 4pmbosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie
YEAH...finaly 4pm le!!!
haiz..okok..i shall stop here..

newly voted best couple....

finished watching their show..." WO DE YE MAN NAI NAI"

like the actress, but like her more now....

love the actor too!!!

like them!!!

bosco and myolie !!!

yeah!!!

i gave up.....


ytd, funny thing happen, i was telling my fren bout the style of this guy,then was telling her "this type of guy not bad".... then the guy actually keep looking at our group...so i thought he must be looking at my frens cos all are very pretty ("argh") hahhaha....but then minutes later, he was like "eh..hi" God, i know him...he was my ex-collegues!! great...fuunny thing is that i don even know i knew him and somemore was telling my fren that he is not bad...after that me and my fren keep laughing....

though the fashion show ytd wasnt those very glam one. but i admire and envy the designers. cos the ideas are really special in a sense. some might not be nice, but some are very nice..but it still their efforts and ideas counts. they are smart, i envy them...
i like the nicholas collection alot.. he design very nice women and men's wear... too bad i didnt bring my camera along...at least i get to see some local designers works. who say local designer's work cant be compared with overseas people. i think they are capable of doing that...
i am more and mroe into this....i hope i can go this direction........will god be with me this time?

wasted 3 years though.....don wanna waste any more years......

ya, i wasted 4 years, don wanna continuing doing so...

actually i have alot to say but i kept everything waiting for a time for me to write it down, but eventually everything slipped off my mind. anyway, recently i realized i have short term memory.

i feel that i lose the sense of liking..liking..many way to explain liking.. liking towards a person, liking towards an animal or even liking towards certain things...
but somehow i feel that i lose the sense of liking towards people...i dont mean people in general. those crushed likes... somehow i forget those kind of feeling..what kind of feeling should i have if i met someone i like? what kind is the feeling that i should feel if i found out i like someone... suddenly, i forget all this feeling.. i forget how i should feel, or how i felt in the past.. i lost all this feelings... is it because i gave up? or is it because i am just being sensitive? haha..
who can tell me how is it to feel if u like someone? cos i totally lost the feeling....

i only know that my feeling is towards dramas..god..who am i man? i should have married to drama...sometime being an artise, there is good and bad.. in my way of defining them is that, they lost their freedom, their every move is being watched, is difficult to find someone who really love them for who they are.. some might be lucky,but not all..but in return they gained something, besides the fame and wealth, i bet they are enjoyin what they are doing, and they got themseleves alot of friends. they might lost the freedom to love in reality, but they still can chose to love in a drama. they are constanly having different love stories in every drama, but best is the other half is always different. so in a way to them, maybe they did have alot of relationship.. different kind, some gave them best, some being loved... so they tasted all different kind of relationship. and who knows, they might have being great couples in real life..


california¬ it all started with me sayin california, and we had alot of fun in the car. ya, didnt know that AYE -> ECP that expressway is so beautiful, next time i shall drive there as well... i always believe that Jfren,Cfren and me together we will have fun...i cant wait for the trip my girlfrens....love u guys...

i am such a hypocrite.............hate myself.......

alright, 3 more weeks to end my misery and suffering..wish me the best......

i realise that this world is really very big, though singapore is a good country, but is also a small country. unlike other country. i watch "Destination Week" and it showed alot of different countries and their culture. definitely, it made me realise that this world is really big. there are so many places i haven or will never have a chance to go to. like spain,germany,england,new york,greece. this places are very interesting places. i wonder what if i were there, what would i feel? a sense of dis-belonging. but of cos i want to go around the world and see.

there are common places that we heard before. like japan,korea,new york, australia, canada, switzerland. but out there there are still alot of other countries we hardly even hear about them. i really would want a chance to travel around the world. looking at different countires and their culture. every part of the world is different. they have different living style and definitely differnet culture. i really love to being like that..able to go around the world and have a good look.

maybe i can be a friend only..training was bad for me as usual yesterday.. i can put in a lot of effort during training. but it seems like when it comes to game, i felt at loss. i don know what i should do or where i should run.. i lose my sense of game... thats bad....


i have been having alot of dreams recently.. similar dreama.. same people..different storyline.. is so scary.. same people keep appearing back in my dream...
so what is dream? people always say that because u think alot thats what u dream bout this, u dream bout that.. is this true? how can dream will appear? what makes dream? isnt it interesting to find out..
great, i think i am crazy....

i know i shouldnt..but was forced to.. and yet have to suffered myself...................
am i thinking too much?



5 more weeks - 23 more days to end my morning suffering!!!!! god!!

今天，我用华文， 因为时间太多了。 所以，可以慢慢拼和写我所想的事物。

突然要我用华文来表达我所想的事物，似乎有一点困难。
我对很多事情有很多感触。无论是看到老妇老妻甜蜜的在一起，或是妈妈很温柔的在照顾自几的宝宝。种种不一样的事都会让我有感而伐。
不错， 我是一个很感性的人。一点点小事我就会很伤心或我也会很开心。
为舍么，我用华文，我终觉的我在写文章。哈！哈！

不过，为舍么新闻终是围绕着负面的消息呢？为舍么他们就不能停值呢?
我很同情Zidane。 因为， 我相信他也不希望他的足球生涯就这样的结束。
对他来说， 这样的结果他应该很痛恨自己吧。 那新闻为舍么还是一而再，再而三的不停的报道呢？真是够了。 没错， 我也很想知道，到底发生了舍么。 但是，如果我的好奇心得建设在别人的痛苦伤，我想我宁原不要知道。

世界杯都已今结束了，就让它停制吧！

最近，我的心情很复杂。 有很多东西我不了解。 我一直把想过的事情翻覆的又再想。很想听到真实的说法。很想知道真正的感受。 很多真的东西很想知道。
每天，发白日梦。都是一些不切实际的梦。我把我自己搞到很茅盾了。很不喜欢现在的我。没有理想，没有主见，没有自我， 舍么都没有的我。

真没用！

是时候清醒了!






很多感受讲不出来，
很多感情表达不出，
失去自我的我，
不知该从那在出发。

We all thought world cup has ended, but never did we know that there are so many dramas leading to the world cup aftermath…

Why did things turn out like that for people that aren’t supposed to be in the big pictures or would rather say that they are in the limelight for the wrong reasons?

I throw my heart out for zidane (zizou). I felt that he deserved to be named something positive rather than negative. Why would people always pictured the negative part so much that they failed to see the positive part? Papers wrote that “zidane getting a red card has washed away all his efforts that he got for himself for the past few years” however, I think likewise. This incident didn’t damper people image and views on zidane. People still respect and admire him as a good and respectable soccer player. Instead people pour their hearts out for him and felt sad for him.
Materazzi is the main culprit in the whole incident. Having bad records in his italy club, he climbed to a higher peak to create more trouble in the world cups final.

People can resort to underhand ways to get what they want. Be it materazzi or ronaldo. Both have evidence provided to prove their motive of both incidents.

Ronaldo, he wink at his team’s bench after ronney was sent off, so what does this indicate?
Simple for me, he did it on purpose. Of cos he didn’t asked the referee to produce the red card, but him stepping forward and be part of it, already have the motive of doing jus that. He knows ronney well being his team mate in man u, so he know how ronney will react. He was smart that he got what he wanted. Ronney got sent off, Portugal went on to win the penalties. But they don’t deserve the title.

Materazzi, it was proved by lip reader saying he called zidane “son of a terrorist whore” . someone please tell me, who could kept his cool after hearing such insulting remarks,who would still remain calm after those hurtful and sensitive remarks? No one could, zidane’ headbutt was jus little, he would have jus started a fight but he resist it. so what wrong did zidane did to receive his remarks? Nothing. Materazzi was jus too cunning to have spot zidane’e weak spot.

I am not sure whether there are a lot of people like me, feel that france are the winner in their heart. So what if italy is really being crowned the champs, people wont remember that. What people will remember how Materazzi tried to provoke zidane and got him sent off. That’s jus too pitiful for Italians to have win their champions in this way.

Like I said, france deserved the champions, althought I was supporting England, but in the end only italy and france make it to the finals. Of cos will go for france. Anyway, luck is jus not with them. Why cant papers stop mentioning about the incident that happen to zidane? I bet he is sad bout it, no one would wan to end their career in this way, or in this manner. I admire france, cos I could really feel that the whole team played together and really want to do this together. Be it for the country or for their captain Zidane. They want to win. And I think they deserve the title.

I think Zidane will still be remembered as a good, calm, clever, respectable player in soccer history.

What a drama in soccer world as well ya! Haiz…

Alright enough of soccer, next my friend’s bday on Monday!
But we celebrated it on Friday.
Had a great day!
We never had such a long chatting session until 6 in the morning..
Some were craps, some were serious talks, some were future talks!
We are really old ..haha…
Anyway, hope he is happy. I think he must be. Everyone is present on his birthday.

But still have to say sorry to another fren, unable to celebrate his. Will pay for it the next time..haha..

Hope things will turn of good for each and everyone of us.

Certain feelings……

World cup 2006

"Competition" it sounds like just any simple words, but this can be cruel. too much of a reality in life. because of competition, resulted in alot of different end results.
in a match, on the field, on the court, you can either be the happy one, or the sad one. there is only one winner in a game, and definitely one loser at the end of the game. don mention cruel, cos it definitely is. any mistake made during the game could cost the whole game.
needless to say, world cup is another cruel game. saw how un-sportmanship some players played, saw how some were really good and played their best giving their heart out. saw how some team shared the common goal and worked together. once again, i said penalty shootout was too much of a cruel way to decide whos the real champion, to decide whos good... it was never a good way to decide who wil win in a match.. because it is jus too unfair...
i am not disappointed with france, but i felt sad for them. they played very well, they put in a lot of effort in the 2nd half, and they deserved to win, thats my final say, and thought i wanted england to enter the final that much, but it was only down to france and italy in the final, so i regard france as the champions though they lost. cos they are the real winner in the match, italy have no possesions in the 2nd half and even the extra time..

sometimes, although win is a very important thing! but havin played a good game and win is a much more staisfying thing. although france lost, but they played a good game and never disappoint their fans. so they are considered a winner as well,
they should be happy.. they have come a tough way, as from group stages things are not well for them, but they managed to come through, and even beat brazil.
so, they should be proud of themselves coming this far..

anyway, zidane did retired in glory for what i felt. he brought the team all the way to final, he is still a great man..

so next 4 years, i wished there will be more hope for england though beckham isnt the captain! but i hope he will still be playing for england.

End of World Cup 2006

certain emotions!

angry at myself? angry at other people? i guess nobody cares...
alright, i know people might kill me if i said this again, my purpose of living....

i am good at nothing!! plain nothing...
ask me what i am good at? and i will tell you "Nothing!"

my studies drop tremendously when i entered poly.... is it because of the course? or i am jus not interested....
i keep losing friends..... is it my problem or i am an idiot?
relationship remains zero...this one can jus put it aside..don even wish to think about it...
and netball...god...where am i standing after 7 years of practising netball...

mates on level with me have improved so much, juniors have flew passed me...and there i am still standing there...
did i ever improve? did i ever try to made myself a better defender? do i still have passion for this game? is this what i want? or did i ever love netball?
i was playing rubbish, totally rubbish!
no fitness, no need to say,
i let my player be free all the times, the worst mistake a defender can make...
i cant focus, i go where my player go, i didnt try to co-ordinate with my team mates..
i am angry at myself of cos, i cant even be on par with other defenders.. always thinking, why are there so many people fighting for a position..always try to shift the blame thinking, "shit, she stole my position?" but i never, never stop and think "whats wrong with me that i always cant get a position" i know i was never good...frankly speaking, passion for something... i lost the feeling like long ago... till now, everythin i did, i never had a passion for it...i sucks, totally sucks....

i bet mj and bird is getting so irritated by me now...mj, i thought i could be a fren she needs when she is in trouble, i thought i was a good fren, i thought we could be frens forever, but i was wrong... my fault? i pulled out? i screwed up my life totally, i cant even maintain a simple friendship..let alone handle other things else.....

who ever say that friendship are easy to maintain, god .. friendship is the hardest to maintain.. i lose alot of friends along the way..why? i have no answer... but i lost a lot of friends...

is it my problem? or i cant handle situations well? or i jus cant stay with a fren for too long?
god, if that is so, then there will never be friends forever in my dictionary...


depression is killing... i don wanna think alot then later i really got terrible depression illness...


my life is in a total mess, i don know what i want right now in my life...
did i lost the passion? shuold i go away before people start hating me? how could i be so cold towards them? i am evil... thats sad...

this is the time i realise that " I'VE CHANGED!!"


next topic : World Cup 2006

god, my England is out, my beck is stepping down,
i have more faith in them wanting to enter semi-finals after hearing each of the players quotes, but penalty shootout was too much of a cruel exit to them...nothing turns out right from england right from the start... with the critisim beck is receiving, are they jus being bias against him? if thats is so.. why? why him? he did nothing wrong to receive all the remarks...
I believe him saying "England is impoving better each game" pretty true.. i thought they play well against portugal... good job, but penalty was too cruel to decide who goes in...initally was frustrated when again and again lampard cant send the ball into the net, but i bet he must be dejected as well...anyway, the most important thing is that they know they put in the best effort and tried their best, shall see them 4 years later and by then i hope they will be a more fiercec and stronger team...

anyway, thumbs up for france!! they beat brazil!! they won the chance to final!!
they are coming up indeed...they fight, they want the qualifications, they want the ball, they play in a team, they all fight with same goals that is to win the world cup and definitely want their captain Zidane to end his career with glory and happy moments!!
happy for them!! they shall fight all th way and win champions!!

world cup is coming to an end, and late nights are coming to a stop...







what am i gona do with my life..i hate it this moment...i hate my life...i simply jus hate everything....

where is my passion?
my meaning for life?
am i too hard on myself?