the man who hold my hand when i was young.....

things that cannot be said too fast. 

In my previous article, i happened to mentioned about marriage and funeral. Not long ago, someone closed to me went on a long holiday trip that does not have a return ticket. It was devastating as he was someone that took care of me when i was in pre-school. I only had memories of him then, followed on was bits and pieces of memories and misfortune befall him that he was unable to participate in our growing up process. Because, if he does, he is definitely the best grandpa i ever had. I might be closer to my grandparents which i always wished to......

memories that was intact all long... he will send me and picked me up when i was in pre-school, although it was a very short walking distance to the coffeeshop, he will want to do so instead of my dad. Then he will buy me fishballs after my school and i will accompanied him back to his house where he does his work. I remembered the room full of coffee beans, coffee powder on the floor and the huge coffee grinder. Perhaps thats the reason why our coffee is the best! Misfortune came when i haven even finished my pre-school and memories stopped there.... because he was unable to accompany me to school and teach me more things.....

my mum always says : "we (grandchildren) are the reason why he is hanging on for so long despite the pain that he has to go through". He was a man that took great care of his family, making sure his children are of good character and quality and making sure the grandchildren are well taken care of. 

I missed him when he is able to hold my hand and pick me after school..........................

i take back my word! i rather attend a happy occasion where it might not bears any meaning than to attend a sad occasion that is full of memories....

he was a good man!

一個是紅事， 一個是白事。。。。

what does marriage suppose to define? to prove that the love for each other? a companion that walk with you the rest of your life? spending the rest of your life with someone you really love? sometimes, i can't believe my beliefs have changed. 

Before, i was just like any normal girl that was just waiting to marry the right man and have a family and that's it. This was what i deemed life as for girls like us. Girls are constantly searching for the Mr. Right, searching for what they call "true love". Seriously, i think that it is a very vague term. Although, i still get tons of emotions rushing within me when i see couples happily married, but i don't yearn for that anymore. Because, i stop believing in happily ever-after, i stop believing in promises and i stop believing in faith. 

Rather, i found death meaningful. It marks the end of a life of someone who has been living for the number of the years as human. As, humans we are constantly making mistakes everyday, we are always seen making the wrong decision, we are always guessing what is going in other's lives. It seems that, living is a very tiring chore to begin with. However, all the years till death, are moments and times, that you laugh, that you teared, that you feel happiness, blissful that you are full of anger and hatred. All there memories are the one that accompanied you when you die, these are memories that nobody is able to steal away from you, these are memories that will be locked in you forever. Something very meaningful in the show, when people die, the most common things they have are that they left with regrets. So, in order to die calmly, humans must learn to let go of many things that can't be forced. If not, regrets will be the one to follow you when you die instead of those memories that you stored............

Always full of emotions after watch "New Beginnings"..........

i think i must learn to let go of things that i don't own and never will own........................

gwenny

SURPRISE!

nothing to be surprise about, just loving the word for a moment. sometimes i think i am too stubborn in a lot of stuffs. I used to think anything to me will do because at that time i have yet to find what i love. or the so-called "PASSION". However, after finding what i love, nothing else seems to interest me anymore. I don't know if my brain refused to twist and think or i don't allow my brain to twist and think. I find myself childish at times when i keep holding on to my passion. Although, i am working towards it at a very slow speed but i feared for the future. Cos, even the alternative that i chose, i was not happy with it. Once, i thought anything about creative,designing, planning can interest me, but all the alternatives failed me. All this was never what i liked, it was never my passion. 

NO PASSION, NO MOTIVATIONS

NO MOTIVATIONS, NO RESULTS

NO RESULTS, NO GAINS

I picked up Female Magazine and reading through while i was having my lunch alone. Every page interest me as much as i want to be interested. All the fanciful, colorful, beautiful clothing, accessories and just endless of them. It has been some time since i last picked up a magazine. How interesting are the stories of each individual, the new upcoming designer to look out for, the always being love by all designers or fashionista that were seen in the magazine. A HA! i found my alternative! keep it low less it flies away.....

i wrote it there, i wrote it here.. 

and i think he is right! 

i think it is time to change my mentality. i keep having thoughts that the whole world owe me things, but in actual fact, no one owes me anything. I must understand this point and accept it. I can't go round blaming the whole world that landed me somewhere i do not want to be, i can't go around telling tales about the whole world that made me a sad and pathetic soul, i just can't possibly continuing doing so. I have to answer to my own doings. I have the rights to decide for myself, i have the control in my life. So, i should be even more independent that i am. 

I am used to being alone, so anything doesn't really matters to me. If i am not good enough, then i am really not good enough. It is really very tough to find someone that understands you and will support your decision. Hardly anyone can understand where is your point of view, none will be able to stand in your shoes and think for you. Everyone is selfish, they only think for themselves. When you are one and i am one, we can't blame others for their misunderstanding. Because, we are all selfish human being that only think for ourselves. Making ourselves looking more outstanding than others, even you know that person is better, you will still deny the fact and instead bring yourself up. Humans are like that, it seems to be a shameless thing to admit that "I am lousy!" "you are really better than me" "I am so stupid(genuine feeling stupid)" None will agree to this, even though deep inside it is the truth! 

People that are low profile and quiet often have the biggest dream in their mind that they are quietly working towards it.........

i thought we will be different but i think otherwise now......people are constantly changing, and nobody will feel good when seeing others having a better live than you yourself. This is part of human nature as well. That's the reason for greed around the earth. When you cannot accept the truth that others just have the luck and so fortunate to be better, rich, prettier, smarter, you will try your very best to still stand out before them. When surroundings start singing praises for other people except you, you are angry why your limelight is stolen away. You just want to be in the bright bright good lively world and never want to be in the dull dull dark quiet world....

I give myself another 2 years to think how i can start fresh again.....

i am so bend on writing today, even if my mind is blank, i am trying to force some thoughts into it. Am i crazy or what? 

"When you are in the airport, you will have that impulsiveness to just buy a ticket and fly off to somewhere alone. " So, if i were given this opportunity, where should my destination be? a question worth thinking...I will choose Paris, the city of fashion...... I will want to see with my own eyes, why everyone deemed Paris to be the fashion city. To see the beautiful architectural buildings they have, to just sit down at an alfresco cafe, drinking coffee and observe the locals there. If i have the chance........  Recently, i have been secretly searching some information online of Taipei as i always said i want to try and live there. I believe when the times draws nearer, i will be more afraid to leave. I will lose the courage to just leave everything behind and just go... maybe when times comes, i will lose it all again.

Recently, i heard this phrase somewhere, "when you are focusing in doing a task seriously, times pass without you knowing." I just feel that it is a happiness to be able to focus in completing a task that is part of your dream or passion. Because, the feeling of being closer to your dream is the best thing that could ever happen. Then, it dawn upon me, when was the last time i were so focus in completing a task or feel happiness upon completing the task. Sadly, i got none of this memory in my mind. 

When you start getting older, you will tend to lost count on your age. I will always ask myself, am i 22 this year or 23 or 24? Not sure, if this is an act of denial or just simply don bother to remember what is my age now. Does it really matter what age a person is be it in love or work. I think the most important lies in the brain, the thoughts, the emotion and the action. A person can jolly well be 30 years old but still acting like a 20 years old human with imature thinkings and actions. So, what's the big deal of 30 years old then? Some could be only 20 years old, but behaving like a mature young adult. With a goal in their mind that they are working towards it, having principle in their life where they abide by it. So, i don quite bother what's your age, if i think you are worth to be my friend, then you are. i am a learner, i need to learn alot of things, knowledge and experiences from people that are willing to teach and share with me. I had one before, so i believe i am in search for another one. 

People also have different point of views when situations happen... Some are able to stand in other people's shoes to think why their action. I think i am quite good at this. As, somehow i think i was also taught by her or rather, influence by her. Everytime, when i complain to her, she will analyze the problem and she won't stand on either side and will be a neutral party. She will analyze the person's doings and tell me in her point of view the motive/reason of the person's doings. So, i think i was influence by her to act in this way. Like it or not, i am like that. Maybe Friends will not be able to understand why i didn't sing the same song with them or support them. But, how can i support them knowing outright that they were in the wrong? Sometimes, you think for others, stand in their shoes and think of them, but who will think for you and stand in your shoes and understand/support you.....................

I really appreciate people that are genuine and sincere. that's the hardest to ask from someone..................

If i feel that i found someone who can be my friend because we had plenty of similarities, how to make that person my close friend?

i was staring at the night sky last night, to realise that the sky is so clear that i was able to see blinking stars. Once, i remembered i love watching stars in the sky, which then reminds me of the innocent and navie me few years ago.

I could remember that, it is a happiness to be able to see the blinking stars up in the sky, and i believe in wishing if there is a meteor star. But none of the above can lie to me anymore. If there are wishes in the world, they why do people still have to work hard towards their goals? If there are wishes in the world, everyone could just be happily waiting for their wishes to come true. If there are wishes in the world, i will be someone i want to be and not be who i am now. 

Sometimes i think i don't belong to anyone and not accountable to anyone but myself. how interesting and sad to find this truth and to realize that there is really nothing much left in Singapore. I think i can be independent and just go ahead to realize my dreams since there is nothing much left in Singapore. Why am i still staying around? 

Recently i found myself a new nick " I am like an abandoned child". Finding myself, strolling around the road alone, talking to myself, going around and find someone to depend on that is genuine and sincere, doing any single things myself. And i hope she can appear before me as i have some important questions for her to help me analyse. But this is not going to happen. Sometimes, it gets really tiring depending on myself...... 

I think i am such a failure as i am not capable of judging a person's character and personality. Or probably i have the right judgment but do not dare to accept the fact of his/her character or personality. In actual fact, i have nothing to lose..............you can really tell everything based on your feelings, as it is the most direct emotions and thoughts that will get into your head straight away. So, we can actually tell whether he/she is sincere/helpful/hidden with agenda/true/genuine and alot more...........

In search of something new..........

Why can a picture always hide my saddness and show my happiness when in actual fact i am not even a single bit happy??? 

sometimes once will really sink into depression when he/she does not have a channel or place to vent the frustration/anger/unhappiness. It is really unhealthy to just keep everything within yourself. It would be best that you are able to find someone to let it out immediately. 

I choose to face my macbook. It is a different case for me, as i don't think anyone is able to help me or do anything even if i let it all out, so what is the use of saying. Another saying could be, i have yet to find someone that i feel that he/she is like a family to me, it doesn't matter what i do or what i say. I thought i would be fine on my own, but suddenly i have the urge today that i hope she appear before me. This time i couldn't figure out myself, this time i believe i need her point of view. But, yet i know and understand that, i was left alone for a long time already. It just like an abandoned child, nobody will care for, nobody will guide the child along, nobody will tell the child the good and bad, the black and white, the truths and the lies. 

There are many lucky people around me which really make me the least luckiest among all.......... in terms of many many aspects......

我朋友告訴我， 我很會安排我的時間，過的很充實。 可是， 為什麼我終覺得孤單將會變成一種詛咒。。。。。 真的害怕。。。。

Sometimes i really don't understand, how come people could lie in front of camera? I love taking pictures and capturing almost every moments. And no matter whether i am sad, angry, depressed or happy, my pictures always lie and i almost believe myself that for that instance i am a happy person. 

I can't figure why one second i can be very lively, happy and joyful but the next second i can just be depressed, sad and unhappy. Interesting isn't it?

For a reason....

why am i always making the wrong decision for myself.

in 2004, i made a wrong decision to study multimedia design in singapore poly,

in 2008, maybe i made a wrong decision to let it go?? ,

in 2009, i made a wrong decision to study an alternative i thought i will be alright with it.

these are just 3 major wrong decision i made in my 23 years of life that eventually changed me into someone else.

there are plenty of minor decision that i made along my life that i regretted too. So, can someone tell me why am i always making the wrong decisions for myself? I just can't seems to get it right. And isn't 23 a tad too old to realise all the wrong decisions made? I suddenly don't know how i should continue from here.

Before making all the decisions, i thought i think hard and long enough to ensure that i do not regret in anything that i do. But, yet everytime upon thinking back, i always regretted and said that "i should have do this, i should have do that". I remembered writing a post about making decisions in life. No one knows whether this is the right decisions made until you achieve something you want to gain from the decisions. So, does it means that i didn't gain anything from all the decisions that i have made? maybe true enough that i didn't or maybe i expect more than what i have gained?

in 2004, upon studying multimedia design, i have gained design experiences, creative's mind, knowledge on the design software and gained a friend that i let go.

in 2008, upon letting go, i gained myself. i gained a chance to grow up and not living a life for others' but myself.

in 2009, upon studying marketing and advertising, i have gained.... (pause for a moment...) a new job?

So, tell me did i expect more that i have gained or all of those that i have gained it not what i wanted?

i have mentioned to myself so many times what i wanted, i have reminded myself many times that i only wanted that. Just a simple want, but because of surroundings and environment that stopped me from my want that drove me to all the wrong decisions. I've had enough with myself and angry with myself.

If i told her how i felt, what was her response? (*somehow i know her answer). 

Rachel asked me a fairly good question today. she asked: " do i feel lost when she stop teaching me?"

i don't feel lost partly is because she made me found myself, and she gave me a mind of my own. i have my own answers to my problems and i know how to solve my own problems. but sometimes you tend to rely on someone because you are tired thinking of problem solutions yourself. You just want to be lazy hoping someone could provide you an instant answer to what you need. I didn't know what i was capable because i relied on her too much. I learned how to make my own decisions and have my own thoughts. i am different.

i dropped by "Depression" at Far East Plaza today, and was greatly impressed by Kenny who remembered me, not only that, he remembered my name! I was really impressed and shocked, because my last visit was probably 2 years ago. 2 years ago, i was different til i couldn't recognize myself but he did! how impressive! let me search a 2 years ago picture......

 

Yupz, somewhere near here...... This was how i looked 2 years ago..................

my picture now....

 

It not that i changed drastically but i have friends that couldn't recognize me after not seeing my for sometime. I was impressed! 

When you love something so much, or when you expected that it will happen, this is when fear stepped in because u are afraid of not getting or losing it.......

there are million of people in the world, but not everyone is like them.......

the willingness and ability to share....... not everyone is like them that are willing to share what they posses... not everyone is like them that has the ability to share.... i know for my case, i lost the ability to share. i did not go through alot of experiences or have some power sets of knowledge to be able to share. But, they have both. And in a certain context, they are the most powerful people in the world. 

this time i have to say i am lucky. i am lucky that i met her in my path. but now i lost her. she taught me alot of things that i need to know. today, i had another walking dictionary that told me "people are always being influence, when we were young we were influence by our parents, when we are adults we are influence by our friends" ha... agreeable... because of her, i was influence in many ways, that in some part i think i am becoming more and more like her. I was influence by her to be daring and bold, i was influence by her to think, i was influence by her that we got nothing to lose if we try, but many things to lose if we don't try. i was totally influence by her. She was my wise dictionary that i would want to carry for life. She is always able to wake some senses in me. 

she was the luckiest thing that even happen in my life. 

okay, i have to do some homework now....

you reap whatever you sow.... :)

No idea why I choose to read my past posts today. Never fail that I will always end up full of emotions everytime. Suddenly, the past things I did, past words I said, past feelings I felt flashing in my mind. In recent years, I really faced a terrible memory loss. But, all the past events recurred in my mind.

I sunk to the bottom again, not because I changed drastically but I am angry with myself that I did not keep any happy things in my memory but choose to keep all the sad ones.

I used to be a frequent and typical blogger that narrates what I did for the day. I am glad I did so. Only this allows me to remember many good events in my life and I have so many to apologize too.

Thank you jiayi for making my poly life this wonderful!

Sorry jiayi that my changed caused us to drift further.

Thank you meijie for the times we once had.

Sorry meijie that for some reasons we are not close anymore.

Thank you luo, kenneth, baolong, Vinson and Joel for sticking with me for 12 years!

Sorry to certain people that I choose to stay away from.

Thank you "green gang" for making my poly life a tremendous happy and eventful times!

Thank you yen wei for beliving that I am a good netball player.

I know I once cherish you guys more than myself. But finally, I understand all this happen because of my change! How I wish while I changed I still kept the happy me inside. Apparently, I definitely didn't do so.

Suddenly, there are so many past events that flashed in my mind that I totally forgot, all the happy times spent but because of certain actions I only choose to remember all the hurtful events.

I know I want to be me and I know part of my past wasn't me.

Now I am who I want to be however to a certain extent I lost a part of my past.

Everyone leads a different life but only she could convince me and only she that I am able totake in the advise! I am lucky to her that help me found me!

i have been neglecting writing here because i got myself a chinese blog, that i wrote everything in chinese. Although, i am a singaporean, whereby singaporean basically converse in English, i still love my base as a chinese and being able to write and converse well in Chinese. That's why i got myself a chinese blog which is popular in Taiwan.

The reasons for chinese blog is because, firstly i want to improve in my chinese, secondly some feelings are better expressed in Chinese, thirdly hoping that i will get to know some Taiwanese friends through this blog. haha...

will you bend your principle to deem fit your life, or let your principle make your life worse? in my case, i chose the secondary. because, if any were to choose the first one, i will just have to let you know, that are not principle in your life, that are rules in your life that can be change in time down the road. Principles will not vary that much if your view in life never change. These are principles that i greatly abide myself to, if i have no principles in life, i am not me. i think principles are a very important criteria anyone must have. it might be obstacles in your path, but if you bend those principles of yours, it might be your view of certain things has changed or it could be that you were wrong with the definition of principles. 

i was a person without principles, meaning "everything goes". but not now, she thought me what is principles, she showed me how strong we should stick to our principle. cos partly it identify who you are. And i want to be who i am. Ever since, i know what principles are, i am not easy going anymore. 

i used to be like this (1986 - 2007):

i want to be lovable in everyone's eyes

i want to be nice to everyone, so that they will say nice things about me

i want everyone to have a good impression of me

i want everyone to think that i am nice

i want everyone to like me

i want everyone that wants me to be their friends

that was me which is equivalent as "a very fake person". because i am doing things that i don't like just to please everyone else, for them to be nice to me, for them to like me, for them to want me to be their friends. That was the past. I do not hate the past me, because i am who i am. I have changed for the better, i have learned how to be me and i have got the answer. 

I am on my own now, i do not have my wise dictionary anymore. I have to ask myself alot of questions in order to get the answer. but in any ways, she played an important role in my learning and growing process. Because i am tired to be the nice person, to be the fake person, to be the person that pleases everyone but myself. i am happy to be on my own, because then i will know if i am able to deal with things that i thought was impossible for me. Thank you, sunshine. Please shine everywhere you go...... 

if i only have 70% of trust in you, is that still consider friends? 

by gwenny

Happy New Year everyone! This was a delayed greetings as i was away to Winter Time!

As i have promised myself, to be away for the New Year, I did it this time round. I went to Taiwan to welcome a New Year - 2010. I would say that, after this trip i loved Taiwan more and more. And it has take over the Top standing country in my heart, which made Hong Kong No. 2. There are so many things to say about Taiwan, but by writing them down, it does not seem real. So, make a trip to Taiwan yourself and you will know how good a country it is. 

I have always love Winter Time because this is the time to get out all your coats, boots and hats! Is the year end fashion showcase. I got my boots and my hats, but i am missing of my coat! but no fret! there are plenty and plenty in Taiwan that you can find. Those pretty and beautiful one! My goodness, is Singapore has winter sometime, you will see me spending New Year in Singapore. Before that really arrives, i will always be away for Winter Time! I love Winter. 

If i have a chance, i will want to spend some years living in Taipei to understand more of their culture and living habits. If i have a chance, please let me have a entertainment or fashion job in Taipei where i will be more expose to some knowledge that i need badly, if i have a chance, i really wanna stay overseas to see my own adaptability if i am independent enough. If i have a chance, please let me date a Taiwanese guy, so that i can drop by as and when i feel like. If i have a chance, then i will be in Taipei. 

A country filled with warmth, friendliness and night life. A country filled with yummy delicious food and fashionable clothings. A country filled with pretty girls and full of scooters. A country that won Hong Kong in my heart. 

I will be back, Taiwan!

By gwenny

beauty of fireworks.

I have always love fireworks because of the beauty of it. It has been long since i went to watch Fireworks "live" rather than on TV. I had a good spot of the fireworks show and was really touched by the magnificent scene that i saw. Every sparks, every shot made me so touched that tears would have roll down my cheeks. 

i remembered this was how i describe fireworks before,

fireworks bring with them excitement, happiness and emotions,

every sparks, every shot is deemed to surprise you in everyway,

you are not able to imagine how beautiful it will be, 

but upon seeing it, you will fall deeply in love with it.

however, fireworks will be gone in an instant, 

you are not able to have it forever,

but could only remember how beautiful it was. 

it is the same for love, 

love gives you excitement, happiness and emotions, 

every action, every words will touched your heart,

you cannot predict the outcome of every relationship

but you are deeply in love at the moment,

however, love might be gone suddenly,

you are not able to have it forever, 

but could only keep the beautiful and sweet memories deep in your heart.

the above has been improvise but the meaning i am trying to convey is the same. No matter how beautiful the fireworks are, the disappear in less than 20 seconds, you are not able to have them forever but could only remember how beautiful they once were, and the happiness and emotions they bring you. The same goes for love, you never know is this is an ever-lasting love, but when it is gone, there are only memories left to remember and to reminisce. 

Although, fireworks are only there for a short time, but the beauty of it let you forgive the short stay they are able to accompany you. I love fireworks, let me find someone who love fireworks and will go around just to watch fireworks! *wink*

This phrase caught me deeply, but it sounds more meaningful in chinese. so find this version of my thoughts in chinese somewhere................

she once told me, " if you have already meet the best person you deemed he/she is, no matter how fantastic or good others came by your life, it will never be the same, no one can replaced the best in your heart "

it is really true, take my lecturer for example, he was really good, fun, humorous and young! I really enjoyed his lesson and would never want to miss a single lesson. So a new term starts, and i drag all the other lessons, because he already scored over what full marks could give, and no one can be like him. So it is really tough to replace the best in you. 

Now, it occurred to me, that each incident in my life, makes me realize that i do remember every single thing she once told me. So, i cannot expect another person like her to come by, because she is already the best advisor, the best people that swung by my life. I have to let her shift out to let a new person comes in, because if she stays forever, there won't be space for a new tenant. 

only "SHE" can answer my questions of people and life.....

is it me being too prejudice that only "she" can answer my questions of people and life? or this is really the fact? or should i say this instead: " i do know the answers deep down in my heart, however i will need assurance from her to tell myself that i am right " maybe is not answer and is more of an assurance to my answers of my own question. Only she is able to analyse without taking any sides and very neutral about situations and problems. Where am i able to find someone i trusted so much in to believe in them? She is of a different level in life, she is not a friend but my guidance. 

Am i really moving too fast in life that i feel that no one is able to catch up? Do i really need someone to reassure me of my own queries and answer? How come both incident happen the same way and will they end the same too? Will i go back to a cycle again so that i am able to meet another "her"? 

"Don't ask for more"... don't ask for more that what you have in life, don't ask for what cannot be achieve in life, don't ask for happiness in life if you are not going to do anything about it, be more practical and don't ask for more. Humans have a tendency to ask for more when they have what they want, and keep on wanting more. Greed pushes this mentality and actions in praying for more, asking for more. Be contented with what you have now!

"have a little faith".....

by gwenny

it is not easy to have someone with the same interest, the same liking, same sense, same thoughts. i believe this was the reason for me being upset of the departure. In alot of aspects, she is way better than me, better sense, better taste, stronger in language, stronger in socializing, better thoughts. But we have almost the same liking, therefore in some ways it is really tough to find someone like her. She gave me rounds and rounds of ropes, so that i am able to climb and climb. When we reach a stop, i thought i could climb up again, she is gone with the ropes, leaving me where i am to find my ways to keep on climbing. This has eventually made me lost and keeps on wondering whether she will be back to provide the ropes again. There was no reason for her departure that makes me keep on wandering with plenty of thoughts, were i too clumsy during the process? did i made any mistakes during the process? Departure without a reason is comparable to the situation where i am in, hanging in the middle not knowing what to do. Shouting for her will be of no use as i know that there will be no response, i could only wait for her return or for me to realise that i am on my own already. 

I might understand her well enough that i might have made a mistakes, but i hate not knowing what the mistakes are. With this, how am i going to improve on it or even avoid making the same mistakes. This is the torturing part. Nevertheless, she was once my wise dictionary and this wise dictionary will be well kept until i have a chance to return a favor. 

Suddenly, I hate the winter season. Gloomy as were told, Sad as were told. All these feelings came settled in. Raindrops are falling from the sky telling me that i should shed some tear to relieve my saddness and worries. When raindrops are gone, sun is back again and i will have my sunshine shining at me again. 

"have a little faith"

by :gwenny:

Gcomms Studio Website is up!

Please kindly visit www.gcomms.blogspot.com for more information on some relevant designs works or services that you are looking for!

Please help to spread around too!

Thank you.

By

Gcomms Studio is officially OPEN!

Gcomms Studio is officially open on the 12th November 2009! Gcomms Studio specialize in Namecards, Logo, Flyer, Pamphlets, Poster and ad-hoc designs.

Please await for the website of Gcomms Studio!

My dear friends, please spread this around!

Gcomms Studio can be contactable at E: gcommsstudio@gmail.com

Thank you!

gwenny

"THIS IS IT"

100% HONESTY

He is the legend, he is the hero, he is none other than 'KING OF POP'. I knew Micheal Jackson when i was a child, but it wasn't those crazy madly in love with Micheal. I love his songs but never understand his feelings for all the songs he sang. i knew he was a marvellous artiste but never knew his efforts behind his hard work. 

But, upon watching 'THIS IS IT'. I understand MJ more, and he showed what a true entertainer and musician and artiste should be. I believe marvellous, fantastic, amazing all this words are not enough to describe him. It is hard to believe such a legend is gone. There is no one who is as good as him or even near him that could ever replace him. The power of his vocal, the flexibility of his moves and the sensitivity he has with the music. These were all a gift to him, a gift to him from heaven and he was a gift to his fans from heaven. There could never be a 2nd MJ, as MJ could only be MJ. 

For his every concert, he rehearse over and over again inregardless of how tired he might be, or how many times he had to do it again. He just want to tune every details and every bits to be perfect and to meet his expectations. Perfection is his ideal that he target in his concert. At every part of the song, every interval, every action he could already anticipate what response he will be able to get from his audience and fans. Therefore, in order not to disappoint them, he make sure everything is perfect and if he could, he will make it to be over perfect. This only goes to show, he truly respect his profession and his passion for music and his love for his fans! 

How upsetting it is to know that a legend has gone, and how pity it is that no one will be able to see how marvellous the concert could be. I believe this could be the most regretful event in life for all the MJ's lovers. 

He will always be remembered for his passion and love for the people and the world. Just like the lyrics he wrote in his songs. He truly care and love, hoping to pass every bit of his love to everyone that he could. 

I regret that i wasn't able to see any of his concert live!

Happy Birthday to myself!

This year, no uncomfortable celebrations, no unnecessary gatherings. just a simple dinner but i am happier than any other previous 2 birthdays. because, i have plenty of friends that wishes me HAPPY BIRTHDAY! though, i thought half of them would have forgotten. So, a big thanks to everyone that did wish me on my Birthday. i believe nothing can be as precious as sincere wishes! :) No elaborating birthday cake, so i wasn't prepared to make any wish. I only made 1 very very very very very very simple wish. If this simple wish couldn't be granted, then i think Birthday Wishes are FAKE! they are just for shows!

Daniel Vosovic, the Project Runway Season 2 fashion designer. i received a book of his and i am happy about it, because he is one of the talented yet young fashion designer that i adore. He is good looking, but i believe we can only be sisters. hahaa....

Did i mention that recently i finished a book by Paulo - Zahir. There are alot of sentence i like in the book that he used to describe relationships and life. One of which is " Favor Bank". And i think i already open my favor bank already, however there is only deposit inside, i have yet to pay the favor back. I know i might not be able to do payback, because i know she doesn't need any favors, yet i will keep her account forever, without increasing the interest of hers, but increase my bank's interest. Although, deep in my heart, i know that the 2 years i gotten was a bonus, but human are always greedy. the more you get, you will want more again! but i do not want anything, just hope that we could still be in contact somehow. I know her, therefore here i am alone, waiting to pay back my favor, hoping one day she will come and withdraw it. I owe her too much that i do not know how to pay back. Is really interesting how life can be change with 1 incident, and i know that although i do not want to blame it on that incident, but i believe it was really that incident that i change my life and way of thinking and way of treating friends. 

I know i may look independent, but maybe i am not, i know i may love freedom, but maybe i am not. The more things don't happen, the more i think it will not happen no matter how much faith i have in myself. Because i believe i will lost myself in the path i created for myself somehow in the middle of my journey. 

Where are you? Where are you? Just remember that you have an account with me in my favor bank! My bank will be open anytime just for you!

I have just finished reading the book by Mitch Album - "For One More Day" and plenty of thoughts came running in. 

For one more day, i am able to live,

For one more day, i am able to talk,

For one more day, i am able to see,

For one more day, i am able to smell,

For one more day, i ask for forgiveness,

For one more day........

Plenty of "For one more day" i thought i was granted with. In life, everyone has been so busy with daily lifestyle that they forgot that, they too were granted "For one more day". Everyone just take everyday for granted. Students supposed to be studying wasting time playing, Adults suppose to be working, but keep on complaning about life. How come, nobody will think that " today i will treasure it, as i was given another day". 

Sometimes things happen so fast that we cannot expect it and neither can we escape it. You never know when is your turn to go. I must say that "eventually, everyone will die, but the time has yet to reach you" People keep on saying that " this is fate, let fate decide where i should go, this is destiny and i believe in destiny." But, they don't know that they are just unable to make decision in life for themselves, so then, they pushed the blame to fate, destiny. I have mentioned this before, that everyone has only 1 life to live, and we shall just live life as if everyday is the last. And being having only 1 life, shouldn't we just do what we want to do, and what we desire in life. Not complying to living a life of others' or be like others'. I believe this thoughts has been in me since 2 years ago when i was forced to step into something i never thought. 

But my beliefs is that, even though we are forced to step into something we don't like, it is in our choice whether we want to make it right or make it worse. And my beliefs is that, you will bound to gain something everywhere. And through this i gained alot, gain a wise dictionary and i gain myself!