it is not easy to have someone with the same interest, the same liking, same sense, same thoughts. i believe this was the reason for me being upset of the departure. In alot of aspects, she is way better than me, better sense, better taste, stronger in language, stronger in socializing, better thoughts. But we have almost the same liking, therefore in some ways it is really tough to find someone like her. She gave me rounds and rounds of ropes, so that i am able to climb and climb. When we reach a stop, i thought i could climb up again, she is gone with the ropes, leaving me where i am to find my ways to keep on climbing. This has eventually made me lost and keeps on wondering whether she will be back to provide the ropes again. There was no reason for her departure that makes me keep on wandering with plenty of thoughts, were i too clumsy during the process? did i made any mistakes during the process? Departure without a reason is comparable to the situation where i am in, hanging in the middle not knowing what to do. Shouting for her will be of no use as i know that there will be no response, i could only wait for her return or for me to realise that i am on my own already. 

I might understand her well enough that i might have made a mistakes, but i hate not knowing what the mistakes are. With this, how am i going to improve on it or even avoid making the same mistakes. This is the torturing part. Nevertheless, she was once my wise dictionary and this wise dictionary will be well kept until i have a chance to return a favor. 

Suddenly, I hate the winter season. Gloomy as were told, Sad as were told. All these feelings came settled in. Raindrops are falling from the sky telling me that i should shed some tear to relieve my saddness and worries. When raindrops are gone, sun is back again and i will have my sunshine shining at me again. 

"have a little faith"

by :gwenny: