i wrote it there, i wrote it here.. 

and i think he is right! 

i think it is time to change my mentality. i keep having thoughts that the whole world owe me things, but in actual fact, no one owes me anything. I must understand this point and accept it. I can't go round blaming the whole world that landed me somewhere i do not want to be, i can't go around telling tales about the whole world that made me a sad and pathetic soul, i just can't possibly continuing doing so. I have to answer to my own doings. I have the rights to decide for myself, i have the control in my life. So, i should be even more independent that i am. 

I am used to being alone, so anything doesn't really matters to me. If i am not good enough, then i am really not good enough. It is really very tough to find someone that understands you and will support your decision. Hardly anyone can understand where is your point of view, none will be able to stand in your shoes and think for you. Everyone is selfish, they only think for themselves. When you are one and i am one, we can't blame others for their misunderstanding. Because, we are all selfish human being that only think for ourselves. Making ourselves looking more outstanding than others, even you know that person is better, you will still deny the fact and instead bring yourself up. Humans are like that, it seems to be a shameless thing to admit that "I am lousy!" "you are really better than me" "I am so stupid(genuine feeling stupid)" None will agree to this, even though deep inside it is the truth! 

People that are low profile and quiet often have the biggest dream in their mind that they are quietly working towards it.........

i thought we will be different but i think otherwise now......people are constantly changing, and nobody will feel good when seeing others having a better live than you yourself. This is part of human nature as well. That's the reason for greed around the earth. When you cannot accept the truth that others just have the luck and so fortunate to be better, rich, prettier, smarter, you will try your very best to still stand out before them. When surroundings start singing praises for other people except you, you are angry why your limelight is stolen away. You just want to be in the bright bright good lively world and never want to be in the dull dull dark quiet world....

I give myself another 2 years to think how i can start fresh again.....