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school starting, and many things will be coming into the picture. be it fyp, or school work or whatever. jus whatever...

i got something i want to blog but it slips off my mind. never mind, i don know what to blog...

is difficult to understand what people are thinking.....

i think i am feeling more lost than ever.....

why am i feeling so uncomfortable? something is suppressing inside of me, but i don know what is that. it is making me feeling very terrible.
i don know what i can do. i keep wanting to cry. really have a good cry. it feel so uncomfortable when u cant cry it out. something is blocking me from doing that. weird aren't i?

maybe i kept too many things inside, then i keep on thinking and thinking. thinking and thinking.then think too much until i want to burst out! i want to scream! i want to yell! i want to cry out loud!

anyway, yesterday i was watching tv, then i saw this new programme showed! is a variety show that helps guys to propose to their girlfriends. the methods they used, the words they said made my goosebumps popping out. is so mushy, but for them it isn't. isn't it quite cool, u have almost the whole of singapore witnessing the process of ur proposal and witness the moment of happiness. guys can be pretty attentive as well. but somehow to me, i don know why i find all guys are always so cool! weird.

i have no idea which way i am heading to.
i have no idea whether i sank inside the sea.
i have no idea whether i am alive.
will i be the survivor?

i change a new blogskin........
relating to fashion..
i will post some new fashion collection that i like from various designers...
haha...

it's wonka, it's chocolate, ....... it's wonka chocolate........

is this real?

ever feel that everything falls so perfectly that u are afraid?
people always tend to want things to be perfect, yet when things are perfect they are afraid. ya..true, why is it so?

i also had this mentality, that if things are going so well and so perfect for me, i would be afraid more than happy. cos i afraid everyting will be just a dream, jus a beautiful dream for me. i am afraid the next day when i wake up, i will also wake up from this beautiful dream. and if things just come so easily for me, i will be afraid as well. cos i already have this mindset, that "nothing is free in this world". so i wil also be afraid that if things come so easily for me, the worse thing has just yet to come. am i too negative-thinker? i don know. just feel that i don take things that come naturally, i will think alot. cos things always doesn't go well for me. cos unlucky things always fell on me. cos i never had things going smoothly. haha.. sad isn't it? but anyway i am used to it.

if it isn't true, please stay away..................

a life of a celebrity....
they provide us with entertainment which occupied our time when we are bored yet they are the one who suffered from various negative rumors. is this what they have to give to gain?

and from various news and reports which are true which are false? which can we believe? which are just for entertainment and forget?
and why are we in love with idols? because they are good-looking? because of their talents? or because of the character that they act in? for me i guess it half because of the character they act,1/4 because of their talent and the other 1/4 because of their looks. they have become a comparing tool for ideal boyfriend. but for me, that is just day-dreaming. how could it possible to find someone similar? or how could it possible to find person of same character? thats why they are just good enough for day-dreaming.. haha..

is it fate or destiny that i am going through this path? has it already been planned that my life has to be like this? or could i change the way my life is going to be? can i?

i really want to try living in a different country, be it study or working there. maybe then, i will realise how good singapore is. cos u will only know its good when u lose it. i also believe in this.

rececntly i have been doing people watching while i was working, the only thing i pay attention to its their clothes. what they are wearing, what kind of style are they going. i only pay attention to their outfits and how they carry off the clothes. they let the clothes shine on them or let the clothes run them down. that's why clothes are important aren't they? they could help u build ur confidence or they could be the limelight of that evening. that's why dressing and fashion sense is important.

going to face a showdown this coming friday. god, 3 years i haven been meeting my sec school mates, yet this coming friday i am going to do that. how is it possible? i love my sec school times partly because of certain people and the friends i have in school,but actually not the entire batch. there are still so many people that i wouldn't want to meet, there are so many people i would like to avoid. why do i like to avoid people that much? haha.. guess i am crazy.

soon, my life is changing, soon there is no more school life for me, soon i have a change of goal, i am afraid that my determination is not strong enough. please don like my determination run away......

what a humid day! what a hot everyday! how i wish there is winter!
things have been on my mind just that i don know how to deal with it. i left the problems unsettled and went on for holiday. but here i am back to reality, i can't leave things unsettled and untouched. i have plenty of worries that has been able to get out of my mind. but then, it has all long been the same things that i am worrying about.

sometimes, i wish i could know what i am in my previous life, whether i am a singaporean? cos i often thinks, what if i live in hongkong? what if i live in india? what if i live in thailand? what if i live in paris? what if i live in greece? what if i live in china? what if i live in london? what will i be thinking then? will i envy people living in singapore? i know of this phrase, people tends to see things that they don have but will never pay attention to things they have! it is kinda of true. i always pay attention to things i don have, i always envy people who is capable of doing this or people who could own that. but i never tend to realise that i have something that they might not have. true enough, people always just arent satisfied with what they have. why can't people be satisfied with what they have? why people always tend to see things that they don have?

different country led different lifestyle. i really hope one day,i could live in another country to know that country's lifestyle. whats so different with singapore? to say the truth, i am sick of my life. or should i say sick of my NO life's life. it felt so meaningless to led a life that is equal to an useless life. i know i have goals in my life, things i want to achieve. but right now, i am not capable of achieving the goals. will i be just a person that talk but no action? i have been like talking big, but who knows in the end no action is done.

life, is hard to really meet a person u really love, is hard to understand what u really want to do, is difficult to know what u really want in life, is never easy to led a life of loves. so, i believe though might sound absurd, but just do things that u love and go with your heart. why led a life like others? should go for what we really love isn't it? Right! i only talk. talk is forever so easy, i need not be responsible for my words. i can just blabber non-stop, but in the end no actions. maybe i love talking big?

feeling meaningless in life?
feeling useless in life?
ya, thats what i am feeling!

hongkong, a buzz city.
ironic streets, having a high-class building standing beside a 40 year old building.
busy city, millions of people just swarmed to the streets
traffic killer, no matter is pedestrain crossing, or cars traffic, is never-ending.
happy malls, shopping heaven is just what i need.
lighting night life, the night life never dulls.
yummy yummy, the food is heavenly yummy.
i just love hongkong cos i just love it!

back to reality, i have to facee alot of issues and problems that i left behind for hongkong..
too much problems and futures i have to settle and decide, where i want to go, what i love, what i like, what i really want. in fact i have been avoiding all this issues and matters, i seriously don want to think about it. in the end, i will not reach an answer, cos i know myself too well. even if i made a decision, who knows down the road, my determination isn't strong enough to withstand it? what will happen? how nice if everything could be settle for me, how nice if all the good things can happen to me, how nice if i could just do what i want with no worries, i would be a free person, living a free live, but then again, do i want this kind of life? ha! i know i have been blabbering and rattling on this topic for like months, but then this is something important isn't it?

i love hongkong alot, their lives, their language, but then will i be comfortable living there. again, adapt is the word to use here, we have to adapt to everything. To get use to something, we have to adapt. i am lost once again. freaking hell. don like. i am depressed. i always wonder, people always don tend to realise they got depression until something serious happen. so i always think, what if i actually got depression but i don know, isn't it scary? don even dare to think about it.

anyway, this trip brought my friends closer together, and i am happy about it. we shared alot of things, maybe my mood during the trip wasn't that pleasant, but i really had fun. regarding my mood, i also don know whats gotten into me. i apologise for that. but maybe i am too familiarise with hongkong, i don feel that i am having holiday at all. cos i know hongkong, i been there twice, and i like hongkong, maybe thats the reason why i don't feel that i am actually having holiday, it doesn't seem like a holiday. it just seems like a shopping spere! we walked and walked non-stop, we had some misinterpretation of the people.
during the trip, i get to walk alone myself while they are doing their hair, i should have adventure out more. i regret i didn't. but anyway, it was really a good and fun trip. i really love my friends..dears!! please lets do another trip together!! yeah!!

holiday is the time where we just slack and think about our future, i hate it!
and i even hate doing FYP when we are back in school! Sucks!!