stop by here to blog...cos today jus isnt the day for me somehow..haiz..was alittle hyper in the mornin..but then slowly to the afternoon..things started to change...WTF!! haiz..i am angry at myself....angry at myself for bein so KPO....angry at myself for not bein able to help...angry angry..and played game jus now...was playin well...damm bad...haiz...but my thighs hurts....think hamstring got hurt....haiz..then did i do the right thing in msgin her? tryin to tell her somethin..she seems pissed..and she is like sayin...i already walked away so whyh bother? maybe she is right? why i care?but i was jus unhappy findin out somethin..WTF she think she tryin to do? haiz..don know..okie...i don bother anymore...sorry ruzaini...haiz...don know lahz...TODAY JUS ARENT THE DAY!!!

sometimes i wonder whether sheena will spend the time checkin my blog? cos everytime i enter her blog...i will surely have some things to mention or say or jus wanna tell her...saw her post..she said"even my old bestfren don know me and she left sayin that i always go back on my words..but u forgot i do things for a reason..you got ask?you got knew?you got call me?no..you never did..so it was well worth leavin thou..didnt mind..." then the second part she mention "and i cant get my old bestfren to also talk to me instead of jus shut the fuck up and tell other things"---are u referrin to me?

ya..maybe i don know u well enuff...true..didnt know ur reason of doin things..handlin things..but there are times that i always remembered that u always do some things things for a reason...yar... for some reasons yar..i feel that you are goin back on ur words..but there are other reasons that u totally arent goin back on ur words!!! yar..of cos i shut the fuck up so that it wont increase any more tension...why should i want to talk more when i was in the wrong...this things will never happen if i never walked away...i went tellin other things? what did i say? no idea at all...maybe u could tell me...i don know...i jus find it hard to talk to u back..maybe there is alittle ego that lies in me...but if we were to talk back..wont the situation be awakard? it will definitely be!!! i got no idea what went into my head...maybe i am jus tired of certain things... maybe i am stubborn...i don know...



can this be solved??
there is someone i cant trust anymore.....someone who wanted the same trust from me as a fren..but will never give me his trust..go around hintin ppl....ends up i have to tell the truth...and i cant trust him for keepin my secret...guess it will be out soon...no idea what this has come to...will it jus be this way all the while....hasnt been feelin well....argh!!!

caramel is still sick...sick sick sick...the longest sick she got...is not very major..but she isnt feelin well..spent christmas lyin on bed...sleepin like a pig..but at least she did spent a great christmas eve with her frens...yupz...however, to an extend she is still disappointed..yar...no one knows what she is thinkin...since she is sick..she has this weird dream...but she dare not elaborate bout that..she is afraid that it is hintin to her somethin...which she wish isnt...she is havin short term memory..keep forgettin what she did...she is exhausted..she is tired...and she knows that 2004 is endin cos 2004 brought alot alot alot of unhappiness to her...really alot...she really hope that 2005 is jus a good year..doesnt expect much..but happy enuff for her to pass everyday happily...she hopes so...she is tired..and she is so plain and tasteless now..cos she is sick......


bloggin in sch again..is not that i want to eat snake..is NOTHIN TO DO...cos teachers are discussin the concept with us..but i got no idea what my concept is..keep changin..wanna do soccer...but like LAME...wanna do recylcin bottles...but like NO CLASS...then i thuoght of music..okie..maybe i will stick to this...haiz...i did i went into the wrong course cos i arent creative enuff...i got no ideas at all...haiz...very sad..knowin my frens can come up with very good ideas...but me? nothing...i don know..feel so demoralise..haiz...how? maybe tml i don comr sch ...feel damm not well..somemore got GEMS tml...haiz..walk all the way to T1...thats crazy....

Meeting might be the startin of a break-up....
Break-up might be havin some chances of meetin someone..
Meetin and breakin is jus part and parcels of our life...

caramel is sick...no more sweetness in her..no more laughters from her..no more smile from her...no more sunshine comin out from her..she is jus a plain sugar...she is sick...sick from physical sick...emtional sick..confusin sick...this sick reminds her of her last terrible illness that she gotten it durin 'O' levels last year...thats was terrible horrible for her..cos she is bed-ridden...this time it remains her of that..she was sad at the same time..that increase the illness...christmas is comin..new year is comin...every festival is comin but how come caramel isnt smilin? how come caramel is sad? how come caramel is down?how come everythin turns the other way as caramel thought it to be? how come things isnt the way she thought? she is frustrated...she is irritated!! she isnt happy cos things arent good...things are bad..things isnt fine..things are goin worse...damm it!!caramel have no energy to talk anymore...she is sad that some things happen...she is sad that her friends arent happy.she is sad that she is unable to help them..she is unhappy....but she jus hope everyone have a HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!! serious...christmas supposed to be a happy occasion when everyone get together and end up 2004 welcomin the new year...
2004 is seriously isnt the year!!!is damm a year...a bad year..a worst year...a damm idiot year..a stupid year..a unlucky year...a bad bad bad....haiz..no words to describe this year!!

haiz..i shall not say anythin but to say i am damm sick!!how to spend my christmas????????????????

things arent goin fine..things are jus bad...things are confusin for me..smile is losin again..i am lost again...where am i headin to? a new year for me? a better one or a worst one..lets see....
--Sickly-bored-confused sigin off--

okie..today lets name this GIRL caramel okie..hehe..
caramel is exhausted...she pondered and wondered...why she have to work so hard when she isnt really those poor? she jus have enough to live off...but she cant deny some branded stuffs blind her off...all the hardwork all went to adidas clothings,bags,shoes,levis jeans,topshop,zara,roxy,ripcurl shirts...but she isnt those spendthrifty who spend every single hard earned money...she do knows how to save up for other uses..now the very first reason she savin up the money is for travellin..she finds travellin so carefree and so relaxin..she finally understand why ppl callin travellin a way of relaxin..it really works!! she needs to think of nothin but shoppin...sightseeing..playin..yar..she feels that she is jus in another world..a world that is full of fun,excitement,space to explore,learnin new things..gainin new experience..if she have the money..her next piority past times is TRAVELLIN..but too bad...she isnt rich princess..jus a simple girl..who jus hopes to be happy ..nothin but happy..she is workin very hard..not as in SCH wise..but WORK wise...she is stress..she is tired..she is definitely exhausted!! she needs rest..she is gettin sick..but she hopes to have a happy christmas... and a happy new year ahead...beginin part of 2004 was jus a terror horror to her...quittin a BRANDED n STRESSFUL job...join a KOPI job....then startin sch in a totally TOTALLY new environment..everythin is new for her..she made alot of new frens..and know alot of new things..but she is clever sometimes to act blur..but she is actualyl also very blur...she had quite a pretty good endin towards the end of 2004...knowin green gang...becomin buddies with MJ,Nette,Wei,Jiayi,Cher,n SP netballers...she didnt know that she can have fun too in sch...so she jus hope another new year will be good for her..will be happy for her...there are jus too much countless of unhappy things that happen in 2004..so let 2005 be the best and great year...

okok..i am tired now...need rest..if not tml SHAG!!! WAY TO GO... FRIDAY IS THE NIGHT!! NIGHT TO PARTY!! hahhaha..

I am jus a soul who passed by this body....I am jus a soul which will wander around when i die..I am jus a soul which have a heart of mine..i am jus a soul that will always be ME!!

Caramel exhausted---Signin off---

things are goin more and more difficult for her...she is always tryin to find the easier ways out of simple things..but she jus cant find the answer..the more u find out..the more she feels that she arent suitable for that place...for the position...she is always thinkin...thinkin she might be luckier than other worse or poor people...she is luckier as she could talk,eat,hear,laugh....but somehow she still feels god is unfair to her..to some point she couldnt understand...nothin is gona be easy for her..nothin is goin right for her..nothin is ever a happy thing...love the fun she had..love the frens she made..love the company she had..love the times she spent..sometime she will stop and wonder back into the past...but deeply she knows that there arent any ways to return back then...so she could jus surrender and move on..movin on is not as bad as she thought...maybe it is turnin better...there are many things she couldnt understand..it pleases her to see her friends happy...only those best and closest to her...she is always searchin for fun..and always missin out some fun while havin others..this is somethin she agree that.."people cant have two good things at the same time" so she tries not to be a greedy person..she hopes things stay wells as it is...she hopes nothin gona change..but she hopes she wont fall ....cos she had a bad fall before and wont want another scar again...she jus hope that she either miss it..or walk pass it smoothly...she is smilin..she is laughin..she can cries..and she can shout...she is jus a simple girl...



wahz..am i writin a story about myself? do i sound pathetic? i don know...maybe i feel that i shouldnt write what i did for today in my blog..who the hell cares what i do today..what i eat today..where i went today...how my work goes......who will want to care...?????
maybe like that i could understand myself more..who knows..haha...

yesterday i stopped at the part where i say i was thinkin too much..yar..i am definitely thinkin too much..i understand that it really isnt somethin good...is like things that never happen..you think of it...you will be either too happy about it..but ended up with nothin..or scarin urself of somethin..so whats the point right? is like why scare urself for nothin? or why make urself fall from a high place and landed so painfully? whats the point of hurtin myself? why would i? nowadays havin so much doubts with myself...and whenever i have the time..in my mind are always dreams..hopes and fantasy...reality doesnt lie in my mind...i am an idiotic girl...not knowin the real things thats shows..love to think the opposite..and always hopin for the unexpected....haiz..seem alittle depressed..izzit bcos of.............or izzit the rains that affects me?weather changes my mood..i follow the way it turns..it changes...

world create humans...humans create more humans..humans create rubbish..rubbish harm the world...in the end..world kill itself...world kill world....

----------crazily..sleepy...signin off-------------Chunpei......Caramel lover.....

beautiful sky....smilin moon..twinkin stars...lonely soul walkin alone in the road..thinkin of everythin she thought might happen to her although she know that the chances arent high..but she jus cant stop thinkin..and thinkin...and she realise..upon so much thinkin she still comes to no conculsion that what is the reason of things...why things happen..why she is like that..why things come and go..why feelin are so strong and can be so weak..what the motives of certain things..and what is she livin for..havin so much doubts in her life..havin so much questions in her head..she wish she is a baby that is learnin to walk...a child learnin how to speak..a girl learnin A B C...but all this are jus Dreams..what she gona do is to accept reality that surfaces...she cant help cos she has no ability to change things as it turns out to be..she has no right to change one person's thinkins...she has no say to comment...she jus wish to be a happy person..seekin for happiness...but it always seems to get further away from her..No matter how high she climb...she will fell eventually and ended up climblin again...where is the time she will reach the top? God knows...Nobody knows her well except herself..Diary is her bestest fren which will keep all her secrets that she have..she trust the diary more than anythin...she treasure frens but dump her frens for some particular reasons..she is livin jus a simple life.....

the above short summary was all about myself... five days of sch ended...started sch jus this week..but it seem that i started sch long ago..had a happy day startin sch..saw cher and jiayi finally...and was glad to be back in my class...known some new frens and saw alot of new faces...everyday turn out well...but today i was feelin the lowest ever since sch start..maybe bcos i am jus too tired..was workin on thur night...then reach home pretty late...yupz...but today i created a hell of laughters in class and in the foodcourt...yar...used up all my energy in sch..and ended with no much battery left for the night...never intend to reach home early...doesnt feel like it....sheena saw me on the road..i was with the gang...but i couldnt spot her...no reply from her...

was walkin home jus know .....i realise thinkin too much isnt good...really isnt good..tell u guys why some day..cos i need to recharge my batt...is runnin low!! Di!Di!Di!Di!

actually dont really feel like bloggin..cos tired ready..but jus blog ah...hmm..nothin much today...went sch...slept very early yesterday...then after that woke up...alarm rang..still don wanna get up..very lazy lahz..ahhaha...then after that..after consective ringins i finally woke up..hahha...what a pig i am..then went to sch..hahah..yeah sch...ahhahhhahha..crazy man..i brought a bagpack today..cos got netball game then have to brin bathin stuffs..then everybody was like askin me.."eh..u goin campin ah?" argh..argh..argh...whats so wrong about bringin a big bag..hahha..i put my shoes...i put my shampoo..i put my netball clothes..i put my clothes to change after my bathe..of cos bag big ah..then if i bring sling bag...it seems that its gona explode anytime..haha..okie..nvm..guess ppl in my block will be wonderin the same things as my frens...haha..then saw brandon(my brother) over at the other block..then saw MEIJIE and WEI in my block..wahz..they travel far eh..hahahha..and they waitied for me...hehhe...then wahz..pissed at the lecturer at the last lesson one...keep talkin n talkin..then only let us go on the DOT!! argh..ahhaha..then finally saw CARELY!!! oh..i miss her so much...long time never see her..then saw rohda also..long time never see her too...hhahha..i miss our netball trainin..haha...sometimes i think i have so much thanks to say to netball..if not for netball i wont know so good girls and frens..if not for netball i wont be goin to hongkong trip...if not for netball i will be super fat now..hahhahahhahahahahahah....yupz..thanks alot to netball..but a pity..never talk much to carely..alahz..really miss her much..haha..cos we are quite close durin trainin...hehhe...yhupz...then erm..the game SUCKS!! didnt enjoy playin at all..haha...haiz...then nvm...jus wanna tell WEI..don be bother by them..YEAH..we are good players..hehe..yupz..then we went back to the room..and the presentation starts..i think me wei meijie and nette is so noisy lor..keep laughin and laughin..haha..yupz..then we make a laughter out of ourselves..ahha...then we went to have the refreshment..hahha..the fishball so nice..hahhha..then we went bathin..yeah..smell nice.hahhaa..hahaa....yupz..then met kyeo they all..and on the way back got tata and wei..and one more sports club guy..then tata very funny..hahah..keep makin me laugh..haha...then met kyeo they all awhile only..cos my dad's bday..ahhaahha...why i laugh..wau lau..think i am super crazy man..hahhha..yupz..then here i am bloggin..hahhaa..tml long adn tired day man..argh..hahhaha..okok..stop here..gona sleep soon...if not tml cannot wake up adn no energy..hahah..okok...today was a borin day..right cher and jiayi...
oh no..i am dead...tml got DRAWIN module..i suck at drawin man!! argh...and jiayi..u did make a different while talkin to me..and i hope i can make some different too...yeap...ahahaha...yupz...BACKACHE...bag too heavy..hahhaha..okok..

not really smilin---signin off....

i wasnt intendin to blog now..but after readin sheena's blog about her brother's weddin...i feel i need to blog..i think i am bad la.left her thinkin and thinkin..i mean is my fault...not hers at all...but i jus left her thinkin..yupz...craziness went into my mind..but i was definitely angry about a blog she posted...i seriously think she is referrin to me...i know when someone is angry..everythin is bound to come out from her mouth...thats was the time i did felt hurt...i felt hurt..when i treated a fren so good all the while..and when i wanted to walk away she gave me all the names...i felt hurt that actually she can realy said somethin about me jus like that...it hurts thoughs...but i didnt wanna react to it..cos ispointless...we might end up callin each othe names..and moer sort of things..last sat was her two brother's weddin..i never go..she did asked me oncec...but i say..i will feel funny...so she don bother..then she never ask me the second time...and moreover i saw her post ...and she is anry wth me..and won want to see me...so i didnt go...was surprised herne asked me where am i? and sheena went ask faisal why i never go...okie..realy sorry i never turned up...and sorry i left u thinkin...and i think u are havin funny and good frens by ur side...i am really nothin...i was glad and happy oncec u treatred me very importantly..thanks..i also have no idea what gotten into me to treat u like that...don know what happen to me that i feel like endin this friendship...sorry..

yupz..thats was somethin iwanted to blog straight after talkin to effa and readin sheena's blog...

somethin about today? hahahahahahhahhahahhahahahahahahhahhaahahaahhaahhaahahaah....only cher and jiayi know why i am doin this..keep it mum..okie? hahhahaha...today we have ou first lesson of gems..wahz..we walked from on end to the other end..tired sia..hahahah..then today's lesson was slac.i got this module..tutorial..then we went intothe class..teh teacher took our attendance and say oki u guyys can leave..cos first lesson jus maksure u went into the correct class...hahah..so funnny sia..ahhahhaha....then i ended lesson 45 mins earlier...then have to waitfor jiayi they all..cos have to walked to t1 together...then went t te foodcour..saw kenny...hahhah....then chatted with him..he isnt crapin as much..cos his fren is around...hahha..okok..then he went off for lesson..and i waitied for jiayi they all alone.so bored...haha...then we wnt for gems..the after tah met brandon,victor,wei,and small daniel at the club..yupz..hehe...then we chilled awhile then go home..and SIR took my band again..but this time i got it back..cos we are stil at the mrt..haha..then went home..yeah..tml got netball..hope get to play...hehehe....yeah yeah..tml is also 15!! hahhah...yeap... smilin.smilni..smilni...smilin while signin off...hahahhahhahah...

oh man...knew it...knew it comin again..hahaahaha...so sorry i am takin back myh words again..should i not say anythin anymore..hahha..today is my FIRST DAY OF SCH for SEMS 2!!! Hurray!! Hurray!!...hahhah...i was like so hyper and waitin to start sch bcos of cher and jiayi..cant wait to see them man!!! hahah...time seems to pass pretty fast this holiday..maybe is bcos we got a short holiday..although if have long holiday can slack and relax..but i will be bored.....hahhaha...yupz..then i went to take train..then have to buy train concession..then reach sengkang one..he told me he doesnt have change..so i have to walk out..then change for him and buy the concession..it didnt seems to turn out fine for me on my first day of sch...then buy..then take train..then reach sch late..lucky i am not the last one..ahha..is JIAYI!!then saw cher..i was alittle screamin there...was like"ah ah ah..hahhahah.." then waitin for jiayi..then when i saw her..i was more like " ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah..hahhaha" JIAYI..wheres my hug?? hahhaha...wahz..so funny..keep laughin...see them..Jiayi lookin great today..with the roxy bermu...haha..and the nice adidas bag!! cool!! Cher look cool..with the purple extentions..and the nike dunnk shoes which we accompany her to buy!! COOL!!!YEAPP!! yeappy!!hahhah...then we went to class..wahz..so many ppl change their style..hmm...was satisfied with anthony's hairstyle..cos it suits him and is nice..look like sly eh..hahahh..cool..hahah..yupz..then some girls in my class cut their hair..okie..quite cute...and gavin never go sch today...hmm..then it was fuun lahz..cher jiayi and me like got endless things to talk about man!!hahahhahaha...then wasnt pay attention about the first class..then we never eat...cos break too early ready...hahha..then we jus sat and buy drinks..suddenly like so pack..so many ppl..haha...then saw kenny..hahha...then after that we went to toilet...oooo....missed the toilets too..hahahhhahahhaha....then went to com lab for graphic and imagin tools some module..then wahz..miss the com..hahha..then after that we study photoshop...haiyo..so troublesome eh...hahhah...then after that yeah..GO MEET MEIJIE AND THE GREEN GANG THEY ALL!!yeah..then meet brandon at the t19 there..there we go sports club..meet wei,nette,victor,small daniel and meijie therer...then we sit awhile and went off...we went to holland V...haha...cool..eveyone was there..except YONGHUA!...hahha...then the whole gang...MJ,Nette,Wei,Kim,Me,Pamm,Victor,Brandon,SmallDaniel,Kenny,Ryan...cool..then me and nette chilled at Holland V starbucks..while the other went to eat..then they meet us there..then we chilled at there awhile..cool ..so fun..was talkin to everyone..yupz..then nette wanted to go orchard library..and wei didnt want to go home yet..then ryan and pamm also ...then the rest of us went home...took the bus to vista mrt station and take separate trains home..then i took the same train as kenny...cos the other west side ppl...hahha..yupz.then crap with kenny...wahz..talk to him..he really can crap man!!POWER!!hahhahha..but some are funny...and there are time when he is stuck with nothin to crap..hahahhah...yupz...then i alight at outram..and went home alone..ahha...walked home..the sky is beautiful as usual... :) yupz..hope tml will be a better day...hehhee...Jiayi Cher..wahz..finally see u guys...today we arent crazy enuff..lets get more crazy!!hahha..hope to see MJ,wei,nette,diana and the netball girls soon..and the green gang too!!! COOL!! yeah yeah yeah..haahahahha....

I AM IN SCHOOL!!!! HURRAY!!! HaHa....will update my blog soon..hehehehhe...Cool...YEAH YEAH YEAH...we are back to our craziness..hahahahahah.....

hahha..aiyo..from jus now 12 wanted to blog till now...now then start bloggin..was busy chattin and busy with some stuffs...hahha...went to listen to the italian english again..superb funny..make my day again...today..went to work in the mornin..cool...end up this guy knew my poly frens...WHAT A SMALL WORLD isnt it? hahha..cool..then after work..went out with brandon,victor and yonghua..cos at first brandon wanted to buy somethin..tag me alon for opinion..then victor they all also came out..cool...hehhe..cos so fun..And no tea for sir lahz..hahahaha...we settle the things brandon wanted to buy and went around walkin..then after that we went to eat..today i was superb hungry...cos mornin work never really eat..then after that rush out to meet them..ahha..then after that we went to cafe cartel to eat...wahz. pictures can decieve..ahhaha...see thepictures so nice...end up the food isnt nice..too much flour..then victor's and brandon's servings damm big sia..hahhaha...brandon cant finish it...haa...so funny..then i tried their chocolate mint frappe...okie..if only it would be more mint...hahhaha...today...not bad..pretty fun..then went play pool at lucky plaza..wahz..so many............hahaha..shall not mention..hahha...but fuun..ehhe.....oh yeah..days are nearin..jiayi and cher..our reunion is comin!!! hahhahahah...really superb cant wait to joke with u guys again..hahha..don be late on the firstt day of school k..hehe..then after that tml havin a netball game..cool..but now so late scared later tml cannot wake up..scared ah...sleepin soon...today..walkin home..lookin up in the sky...hmm...dark blue sky as usual...but i can see stars..nicee blinkin twinklin stars...heheehe.....but never see moon..hahha...yupz.and i was back to addictted to watchin MVP!!!wahz..poor TAIZI...haiz..scarifice so much but get nothin in return..but i think he gain frens and experiencec more...but nice show lahz..hahah...hhehe...so touchin adn so sad..hehe...yupz..i think i should be sleepin soon..erm..hope tml day passed fast then sat day passed fast..the wil be sun..hurray..get to play netball...then go eat..then walk walk..then at night ..then sleep..then wake up..HURRAY!! SCH STARTS..ahhahha...yeah yeah..like jiayi say..the day is comin..hahah...lookin forward to see u guys..hahha...

Oh...classes completed!! Today...first day workin..hurray!!but isnt as fun as i thought..hahha..but CBTL guys....i bet u all should know the reason behind it..heheh..yupz...and my new partner in work...sally..she said i look like a secretive person..haha..she is so funny..do i? and i envy her..she is goin combodia next week for some volunteerin work..i also wish to visit this poor country and do some volunteerin work..i bet is somethin new to experience..yupz..heheh..cool~~!!!....cant wait for this week to pass faster...cos i want sch to start..i wanna see JIAYI and CHER!! okok..and my poly mates..ahha..JIEMEI also..haha..and i was so glad that jiayi and idah came to my rescue last night..really man!!they really made me feel so so so so much better..and i am happy...yeah!! heheh...thanks pal!!thanks fren!! u guys should know that my ears are always open for u guys ya..yeah u guys..my frens out there!!u should know who u guys are!! =) yupz....yeah...

oh yeah..i did some settin that allow my hongkong pics still remain there..haha..oko...not here to blog..but here to share...wrote somethin out of the lyrics i always listen...love all this song..love their lyics..so why not combined all the lyrics and write my story...maybe ppl wont understand..but i do..yupz..jus to share...hehe.. :)

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right

I've seem to find a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new

Another country but they start to look the same.
Watch the world behind a window pane,
Wish for you on a falling star
Wondering where you are
Do I ever cross your mind
In the warm sunshine

My heart is full and my door's always open
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
I'm sorry
You arent perfect either
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like
you don’t Care anymore

You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love cause you're so hard to trust
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that?
You're the one who gives it all away

Pushing forward and arching back
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

i felt lost the moment you are gone
but i stand up again
facin the world myself
but sometime u left me thinkin

Do iever feel like breaking down?
Do i ever feel out of place?
Like somehow i just don't belong
And no one understands me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When i'm down
To feel like i've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save me
No i don't know what it's like
Am i sick of feeling so left out?
Am i stuck inside a world i hate?

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

hihi..ooo..man..never blog for like two days?? hahha..lost track of what i have to blog...so where did i stop for my previous blog then?ooo..i talked bout meetin cher at orchard that day...oh man..hahha..so funny..gosh..what i did on fri?? oh ya..i got classes..learnin espresso drinks...oh man..how i miss cbtl EB station..i really miss it...haiz..thats was certainly a borin classes cos only got like 3 of us..haiz..borin..then after that went to see my cousins...awww...he is so cute..hehhe...then after that went dinner with my family..oh ...then reach home early...of cos..nothin much to do...then i think i remember me online..chat chat talk talk..hahha..borin i know..okok..then sat we met early in sch...i was late and took a cab to sch..then is like the cheapest fare that i paid from my house to sch..hahahahh...although it still cost like 13 bucks..hahha..then we had meetin and all..Nette is back!!hahaha...saw her pics..so nice..hahahha..then after that went queensway...saw a few nice jersey shirts..soccer boots...wahz..everythin...haahaha...wish i could buy all the things i want to..hahha..then went town meet yenwei,brandon and nette..heheh..is always so nice seein brandon and nette together...and brandon is smilin ear to ear that day..hahha....then i saw this quicksilver shoes..wahz..damm nice.. i want to buyh!!!!! but must saved..haha.no money ready..have been spendin like water runnin from tap..hahha...oh ya..then that day i have been cravin for the caramel sundae in mac..then i went to ALL ALL the mac in town..CARAMEL sundae is sold out..everywhere..so damm sad..:( then we went marina to watch shutter...and believe me..we cut queue..sorry didnt mean to..but is like rushin for time..no choice...then we sat the FIRST Row..but it isnt that bad lahz..then i was like closin my eyes at those scary part..and then i thought i wont scream..and believe me..i SCREAMED....the part when he is at the bed..then suddenly she is jus right beside RIGHT BESIDE Him!! wahz..damm...i scream...my heart nearly popped out man!!! wahz...phew...then finally is finished..wahz..nice show..Why the dead ones come back..for their family..for their loved ones...wahz..amazin story plot...she is jus sittin on his neck...thats the scary part..and bein tortured is worst than being dead..thought he will be dead but he never...but the main lead is quite handsome..looks like the jap actor..haha..then after that i met luo..cos he is havin dinner outside..then met my brother also..the three of us went far east..then i went to this shop sells mickey mouse shirt..then this sales guy..ehem..hahhahahaha..quite not bad lookin..hehehe..i think he needs to go toilet..then i was like in the shop lookin lookin..then after that when i went out of the shop he closed the door and went toilet...*opps..sorry..*hahhaha..then after that my bro bought a berms..i bought a skirt i long wanted to buy...hehehhe..then after that went herrens...then after that met up with ben yen wei brandon and nette...then after that eh..nette isnt there..haiz..okok..then after that we went to see meijie awhile..then went home..then i went to COMPASS POINT MAc to try my luck..and good..my luck is good..i got my CARAMEL SUNDAE at last..woo..heaven..heavenly ice cream..cool...is tasted so toffeely caramel taste..then it wont stick to ur teeth..so nice...really nicee!THUMBS UP for it!!hahha..so happy then i went msgin the ppl who i went out with today..haha..i am crazy i think..hahha...then i was watchin the MAN U match yesterday..first half was borin..man u missed alot of chances to score..then second half..wahz..excitin match...heheheh...man u won 3-0..hurray..hahhaa...then after that was tired and went to sleep..then today..wahz...i went out with my cousin and brother..we watched two movies man!! hahahah..i watched the brigdet jones diary..wahz..that was nice..but funny..i was laughin like hhehhehahha..in the cinema..if insidee got someone who knows me...they confirm know i am in the cinema manz!!!hahahha...but the woman always screw things up....then i feel she is such a loser..she was so cool..so womanly..so confident when she scolded the man for bein arrogant..but the other hand..when she felt..oh gosh..she shouldnt have said..then she went apologisin to the guy..fearin the guy will leave her...is like...why lowered urself to this state whereby there are faults at both parties..haiyo...but it was certainly a superb nice show..hahah..really...both men are so charmin..CHARMIN!! is indeed the charmin and not handsome..hahhah..yupz...wahz..nice story..seriously nice story..story plot EXCELLENT!!hahhaha...serious..nicee show..oh man.. i am addicted to movies..but who cares..i jus love watchin movies...i don know why..but i love it~~!!! lallalallalaalal..hahhahaha...hurray...yupz...but girls are unpredictable....one moment they mean this..the other moment they mean that..hahah....but this are girls...cant change it..hahha..yupz../
oh yeah..one more week to SCH REOPENING..althought projects will keep comin in..but at least wont be as bored as holidays!!!hahahha...jiayi..cher...lookin forward on 13 dec..and myy class transferrin..ahahhahahahahaha :)

haiz..BORED!! nothin interestin to blog about...right?nothin much...hahahah...oh yeah..very frustrated ...woke up in the mornin..WOW...sun was very sorchin hot...GOOD day for tannin..hahha..so i decided to go swimmin..gosh...reach the swimmin pool the sun went into hidin...no sun!!Argh....everytime i go is always like that...haiz...hahhaha...then after that went back home and watch TV...the afternoon korean show..hehe...pretty nice...then after that went out..to shop awhile..alot of shirts i saw..and my havanas slipper!!!argh...nearly really want to buy jus now...hahha..then what a day...i met CHER!!cher..saw her..with her new hair..and the purple extention right!!!!Cher...big change in hairstyle ah...wahz..then jus parted..JUS only..saw meijie...heheh..she wear very nice today...hehehhe..yupz..then today seems like i saw alot alot alot alot of people sia..saw cheryl also...then saw one CBTL manager...seems like i met alot of ppl lahz..CHER!!! wanna meet up with u and jiayi lahz...argh....miss u guys ah...hahhhahhah....yup...and actually havin my classes on wed...then kinda miss my previous workplace...i miss the kitchen..i miss the EB station..i miss the cakes...biscotti..muffins..puffs..hahhha...i miss the kiosk..i miss everybody except managers...but i definitely miss kak elly and jason..oh...haiz..since that day jason left the outlet..i havent seen him...my last time seein kak was the day we chatted in the mornin after work..about my mutaleg thingy..hahha....Izan..no one to argue with him anymore...Fad..no one to accompany her to toilet anymore..Outlet...no more CP's laughters...and no more SITI callin..hahhahhah..hey peeps...miss u guys ah..but don know why somehow i was so determined to get out of there...yupz..anyway...what done has been done...no point lookin back..i should look forward don't i? hahhah...what i cant wait now..is playin two netball game next week..and STARTIN SCH ON 13DEC!!!HURRAY!! i will be able to see ppl like Cher,jiayi,brandon,ryan,pamm,kenny-sc,(my block one) then ppl like yonghua,ben,yenwei,nette,kim,daniel,victor(everyone around SP)hahhahahha.......yeah yeah...lets countdown to that day...

a nice song to intro..currently my favourite..

Maroon 5 - Sweetest Goodbye
Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?I
'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkindI know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel

alamak ...was bloggin half way jus now..and my com hanged!!hahhah...don really intend to blog today..jus wanted to write three words I'm Sick!but i think i should still blog..maybe i will change my blogoskins ya..haha..but i will love this still....hahhahha..okok..today never went to my poly class outin..sorry..wasnt feelin too well though...then at around seven plus i meet up with my pri sch frens..cant believe we are still contactin each other..hahhaha...it was nice seein them...wahz..long time no see..we are those who meet one year once..but i think is sort of not bad..at least we still meet..hehehand TAUFIK won!!! TAUFIK!!! yeah yeah..whenever i heard usher-yeah.i will seriously think of taufik..bcos i think that night taufik sang excatly like what usher is..power!!hhahhahah...yupz..but i think sly isnt bad tonight either...the song he sang is nice..but taufik is jus alittle better..yhupz..hehehe...and i am thinkin now..am i stupid to strike of a conversation with her? am i? haha..not sure..cheeck my timetable ready...argh...was like huh..there werent much class that it will combine with my buddy class...oh cher and jiayi..how? so i think i guess i will apply for a transfer..although is jus next class..but next sems we wont be seein each other..and we have lesser time together..
i dont want!!! argh!!!then if got projects..who i do together? haiz...is not that i really hate my class to core now..is jus that i arent close with them..and there is still the gap...so i still love cher and jiayi(oh no..seems so les) hahahhaha.....and we have so much funn together last sems..laughin at stupid jokes..and watch WAN QUAN YU LE!!argh....hahhahha..yupz...how ?? i hope my apply will be successful!!!
hope so..ahhha....yupz..and xiao ben gave me an important task eh...hahhah..scary...ahhaha...okok...haiz...nothin much...haiz..

wahz..what a clear night sky we have tonight...i could see no stars as i walked home tonight..tonight the sky seems lonely..and quiet...no moonlight could be seen...the sky feels so dark and dull..what a dull sky we have tonight....yupz...cant stop smilin from 8.30pm onwards..ahhahahhaahaahahah....should not say out..i jus know that i am happy..got somethin new..hhehehhe...okok..then nothin much really happen..and today suppose to register for the GEMS thingy..then i was like outside..then i went to the cybercafe and reg..and the etiquette and professional image class was all full..no space for any intake..then me cher and jiayi don know what to do..should we reg one module? or four in a row?? funny...don understand..then okie..luckily brandon is online and he told me how to reg...hahah..then in the end he helped me to reg the module..i reg for the esstenial of marketings..and jiayi..so sorry...she couldnt get the class...cos it full when cher help her...alamak...damm disappointed and sucky...is like how come like so fast seats are taken...haiyo..then only me and cher in the essential of markertings...then her...we three separated..argh..and next sems timetable isnt as hectic..but but but...i wont be havin more classes with cher and jiayi..how?? we are like so solo for this sems...i thinkin of chaingin class...right? i think i should..then the three of us will be havin the same lesson all the way..arhgh....stupid timetable..argh..nothin much though..hope tml i can wake up..cos goin dunman to play...hope tml will be sunny...and KYEO sorry couldnt send u off tml...goin langkawi right..hope u will have fun...and only eat the chocolates in the plane!! in return for the Cd u burn for me knowin i had lost the cd...but hehehehehe...i found it!!anyway thanks for that..so enjoy the chocolates on plane!!hahhaha..and brin back LANGKAWI's BEACH okie..hahahha..have fuun...actually nothin much right? hmm..havin a damm bad cough..can taste the blood..eeekkk....hope my cough get better..or if want me to get sick..then the sick better come now..i want to be sick now..hahhaha...okok...havin a superb hectic and busy day tml..haiz....