things are goin more and more difficult for her...she is always tryin to find the easier ways out of simple things..but she jus cant find the answer..the more u find out..the more she feels that she arent suitable for that place...for the position...she is always thinkin...thinkin she might be luckier than other worse or poor people...she is luckier as she could talk,eat,hear,laugh....but somehow she still feels god is unfair to her..to some point she couldnt understand...nothin is gona be easy for her..nothin is goin right for her..nothin is ever a happy thing...love the fun she had..love the frens she made..love the company she had..love the times she spent..sometime she will stop and wonder back into the past...but deeply she knows that there arent any ways to return back then...so she could jus surrender and move on..movin on is not as bad as she thought...maybe it is turnin better...there are many things she couldnt understand..it pleases her to see her friends happy...only those best and closest to her...she is always searchin for fun..and always missin out some fun while havin others..this is somethin she agree that.."people cant have two good things at the same time" so she tries not to be a greedy person..she hopes things stay wells as it is...she hopes nothin gona change..but she hopes she wont fall ....cos she had a bad fall before and wont want another scar again...she jus hope that she either miss it..or walk pass it smoothly...she is smilin..she is laughin..she can cries..and she can shout...she is jus a simple girl...



wahz..am i writin a story about myself? do i sound pathetic? i don know...maybe i feel that i shouldnt write what i did for today in my blog..who the hell cares what i do today..what i eat today..where i went today...how my work goes......who will want to care...?????
maybe like that i could understand myself more..who knows..haha...

yesterday i stopped at the part where i say i was thinkin too much..yar..i am definitely thinkin too much..i understand that it really isnt somethin good...is like things that never happen..you think of it...you will be either too happy about it..but ended up with nothin..or scarin urself of somethin..so whats the point right? is like why scare urself for nothin? or why make urself fall from a high place and landed so painfully? whats the point of hurtin myself? why would i? nowadays havin so much doubts with myself...and whenever i have the time..in my mind are always dreams..hopes and fantasy...reality doesnt lie in my mind...i am an idiotic girl...not knowin the real things thats shows..love to think the opposite..and always hopin for the unexpected....haiz..seem alittle depressed..izzit bcos of.............or izzit the rains that affects me?weather changes my mood..i follow the way it turns..it changes...

world create humans...humans create more humans..humans create rubbish..rubbish harm the world...in the end..world kill itself...world kill world....

----------crazily..sleepy...signin off-------------Chunpei......Caramel lover.....