wow...bloggin now..hmm...borin now...waitin for java lessons..haha..come lets talk about yesterady...was alright and slowly waitin for my STSC test which sucks totally in the end...it didnt turn out well...cos i never really study..ARGH~~ don know lahz..then went out one hour after the test which is supposed to be 2 hours..and thanks for cher..we got free tickets to watch movie..at lido...YEAH....so we decided to watch dodgeball...and yeah..it is super funny..ahha...is the first time that i laugh in the cinema without restrictin myself..hahah...so funny..and it gross...and the actress in the movie look so like jennifer aninston..hehe..so pretty...haha...then after the movie came out of the theate...then got this bunch of indians was shoutin"OH...YEAH..REAL MADRID!!"...i am like what the hell//jus bcos i am wearin the real mardid jac...then they are also wearin two real madrid jersey....like so funny alos...then after that i went to shop awhile ah..then saw this cap and this shirt and this bag and this skirt..all super nice sia...wahz..gonna spend again..when i got my pay.....ya..then after yesterady stay online until 2 plus to burn cd..then after that watch alittle of cheseal match..then wahz..saw the first goal..power sia..nice....good aimin and nice shot...eheheh....hmm...ya thats abuot all...haiz...sch still sucks as well..borin....haiz...argh..shity...haiz...

from the time being i use this old skin first...cos other skins got problem or isit my blog got pro..i am not sure...never blog for two days....many things happen...also not too many jus alittle...haiz..Yesterday finally we managed to hand up our assignment...it really didnt turn out as what i expected but i jus simply love the esplande part...is very nice...really the music jus suit it...hehe..so nice...then after that monday if i am not wrong...i stay till 8plus at the video lab to touch up on our video..and it was okie..i got help from my classmates..they are so nice..ehhe..thanks...hehe..yupz...actually is my class and buddy class..hehe..then after that went home..heheh...went home ya...then after that got FRIENDS!!heheeh....and on that day i change no..but never get to change phone cos really tide up...i will changed when i have the money....hiaz..now cannot spluge so much have to save up to go hongkong...yupz..then my new no is 90470954 okie ah..quite easy to remeber right..heheh..then after that tue is only yesterady...we skip maths all the way as usual...and jus do our video..is jus the addin of songs...haiz..but everythin was okie...and yesterday we were crazy...real crazy..although stress for awhile but was crazy to have crack jokes...hahaha...so funny..then went home..went to starbucks at SK to study for awhile..but i jus keep yawnin and yawin...i don know why..i got 8 hours of sleep and yet not enuff..ahiz...nowadays maybe i need 15 hours of sleep jus like Hua Zhe Lei..hahahha....yupz..then today got STSC test..aiyo..jus hope that it is easy and nothin much more to expect..and followin i want to thank this ppl
Ahmad for actin in my film
Daniel for actin in my film
Cher my group member for filmin
Jiayi my group member for actin!!YEAH..we complete our assignment..alhtough it doesnt have the quality...but i think we did all our bbest...someomre other groups have 4 or 5 ppl..but our group only 3 somemore all girls..hahah..haha...next time lets drag a guy to our group..hehe...and sems 1 exams comin soon..so scary..haiz..yupz..hmm...thats for all....nothin much...still not feelin well..i think i doesnt seem happy...ya..my fren told me so...she read thru my heart....hehe...

ARGH!!!

day was SUCKY!!! Sucks all the way...startin from sat midnight..everythin jus doesnt seems right..as ijus purely tired? or have i reach my limit?i don know...monday was a good start...my video didnt turn out the way i thought of and expected of...haiz..was so sad..and sucky...jus painly sucks...haiz..alot to update..fri..was definitely a ok day only..met joel and issac to play pool together with issac's GF....look so fierce...but have a sweet smile..then took cab home...then after that went home and rest and sleep then in the mornin met SP netballers to Sentosa....i reach early and everyone was late...they went to play until like 2 then i go off first..cos meetin siewhui they all to celebrate chu's bday...it was certainly good fun..i miss her lots..cos it has really been a a long time i haven seen them and alot of things happen..and i jus wish we could spend more time together when we are all free....and lets be happy everyone k..although i am not really..then after that went to work...work was damm SHITY...damm jackass....don wanna mention about it...sucks...haiz..boring...then sun mornin went home then at first meetin my cast to film ..but my main actor couldnt make it..then is okie..thought monday set ready..to film on monday cos our deadline is on tue...then i practically slept the whole day on sun...cos was so tired..heard my phone ringin..but don even care to pick it up...then after that woke up jus passed my days like that..then after that spent the whole night printin STSC notes for wed test...haiz..then slept..then wake up..MONDAY...SUCKY!! woke up wanted to come early to do video..but room was occupied...nevermind..went int he STSC file carries no expressions on my aface....i don know whether i am jus simply FEd up with somethin or jus fed up with myself..things jus arent goin right..then my Main actor msg me again to tell me he cant make it...thats it...no more chance to take..jus have to thinkn of other solutions...ya...other solutions..was jus practically pissed at myself for thinkin of this stupid idea...stupid lame story...SUCKS...okie..i simply SUCKS..and i realise that really eversince that day i wasnt smilin i wasnt laughin..i wasnt happy...it jus sucks...my life sucks!!!thought no need to rush but then again i was too fast to prove myself right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hey..bloggin now...nothin much though...then yesterady stayed in school until 9 plus..cos for the video assignment...and it didnt turn out the way i thought it will be..is like not the one i thought and expected...and somemore what worst is that there are scenes that are cut off which we needed...is like kanna erased...wahz..damm sian sia..i search the whole tape also don have..search changed com also don have..heart pain sia..then i really don feel like askin ahmad to come down my sch to act again ah..ya what worst is at my sch scene..haiz..then really don feel like askin..but no choice have to ask ahmad to act again..and thanks man..he is so nice..thanks...thanks and mroe thanks...and we ahve to act on sun...cos sun is the day where almost eveyone is free..hehe..thanks man...but is like still thanks ah..then tml a busy day for me..goin sentosa in the mornin then meetin my best pals of gers in the evenin celebratin chu's bday..hehe...then sun filmin..then goin out with fad..haiz..nothin more to write..then jus hope everythin goes out smoothy...and i shouldnt be so happy after filmin the last scene...is like so happy in the end have to redo again!!haiz..

hey..cant wait to blog today...cos yesterday i did somethin that i wanted to do but no much courage...cos quite scared pretty scared to do it....the thing that i did and is pretty proud of is WATCHIN A MOVIE ALONE!! hahha..yeah..i watched a movie alone yesterday...i watch A cinderella story alone yesterday....oh my...the show is so sweet,so nice...hehe...really one typical fairytale story...haha...yupz..chad micheal murray is handsome...yeah..hilary duff is pretty..i love her...hahah...nice show..never regret watchin it alone..the feelin was alright..is jus that it will be funny laughin alone...u know those feelings..hehe...but it is alright ah..afterall is good watchin alone...is like i pay 7.50 to buy myself some happiness...really cos i feel so happy watchin the movie...hehe...then yesterday HURRAY~~~!!! i am done with filmin...and now is editin time..cant wait to watch the whole short movie....hehe..happy..happy...now right...today right have to stay until 9.30 in school to do my editin...power right....hehe..hope everythin goes smoothly today for us..good job for the three of us..and ahmad..ehhe..thanks..thanks..thanks everyone who have help us..ehhe...YEAH!!!watchin a movie alone make me feel good..maybe i wil do it often...hehe...now the two next show i wanna watch is raising helen and dodgeball..hehe..yeah..i love it man..after watchin the movie i want a boyfriend..hahaha..kiddin...kiddin..cos the movie is so sweet...real sweet sehz..hehe..*smilin*hehe..if right my cousin never go back right she will be at my house tonight..miss her eh...haiz..goin back malaysia in nov then can see her ready..hehehe...haiz..hmm...nothin much to say ready...oh ya i wrote somethin..about the feelin after i watch cinderella story
Havin a beautilful childhood
Growin up in fairytales
Pampered by the dad
Loved by everyone

However,things changes
When she gained a new mum,
Destroyin all she had,
takin away the only love she has,

Still,she stand strong not fallin apart,
beliving in herself
Live for herself
And not disappintin her only beloved

No matter,how bad things turned out for her
Heaven is always on her side
Grantin her whatever she missed

She tolerated,
She obeyed,
She strive hard,
She did all her best

Things started to turn better for her
When she met her PRINCE CHARMING
All her determination and hard work paid off

Cos she is the CINDERELLA in the fairytale

hehe..nice?? give some comments k..hehhe...i got more...write it sometime..heheh..

woo...finally....the webbie for writin this blog is out...the uploadin takes such a long time...sch com got problem ah...super got problem..haha...haiz...sian...nothin to update though...haha...oh ya..i saw my a guy i have a crush on when i am in sec sch...haha...he is still as handsome as ever...hehe..too bad he never see me...ooo...i deleted his no ready..hahha....but it feels good seein him again..hahha...hahha....so handsome ah..and today we are doin and filmin our last scene!!Hurray!! editin time is nearin...hahah..haha...gonna stay back late tml to edit..and the same goes for friday..mon and tue..cos wed is the deadline..i think we should be okie right..haha..yeah...hahha..hmm.....then somemore what...nothin more...went home and watch tv yesterday from 6 all the way to 10 then after that went online..and doin nothin much..keep yawnin and yawnin..then soon after i went to bed ah..haiz..borin ah...if my little cousin haven gone back right..i should be able to see her tml night..so cute...i think end of this year i will make a trip down to malaysia jus to see her..hhehehe....miss her man..haiz...then somemore sch is okie lahz...another semster is over soon..and i doubt the next semester module will be fun and interestin....hai...bored!!! later filmin hope later can go for a jog cos i am super lazy one...haiz...ARGH~~!! okie nothin much to blog..haiz...busy weekend for me..i want to watch CINDERALLA STORY...till now haven watch lehz..haiz...i think is down...sadded..then tml want to meet them play pool but i was late...hahha..they goin back home le..haa...nvm..next time..haha...want to sleep!!!!!!

oh ya ah..i forgot to talk about the sad part..is somethin happen in my mum's family side..and suddenly my cute little cousin went back ready...so super sudden...haiz...i think if nect time i want to see her i have to travelto malaysia ready...haiz..family things arent suppose to anyhow say right...haiz..but i am worried and sad..haiz....

hey..i am bloggin again...hmm..thats the only good thing about goin to school use the com to blog..now i hardly even online..NO TIME!!really sia..super no time...and yesterday...haiz..what to say...happy and sad...cos i went shoppin for awhile and bought two clothes which i quite like...yesterday when i buy i jus buy without thinkin eh..first time sehz..cos i really don care..i need new clothes!!hahaha...then after that we were to go esplande there and film..wahz..nice view..alot of couples sehz..i didnt know...really alot...is like the moment we went there,we are like disturbin them...then we went to the bridge there and film..and i think we film not bad yesterady....but was alittle feelin there sia..cos of the atmosphere..really sia...ahmad not a bad actor eh..i should say good..and the same goes for jiayi..she could express the feelin quite well..thumbs up for the both of them..and of cos for our dearest camerawomen and jiayi's sister...she was funny also..hahah..yupz..it was fun yesterday..alot of NGs...and ppl walkin passed..and i think they are super curious what are we filmin man..cos they keep starin starin and lookin lookin..but some don even care to stop they jus walked passed while we film so bad sia...haiz..then after that i think the esplande scene is the best scene in the show man!!really..is really nice...and all of us gave alot of good ideas to make the film better..is really TEAMWORK!! and thanks for ahmad..even though he wont be gettin marks for this project he dare to give alot of good ideas..thanks ah...wahz..this course ah..keep asin frens to help act..like so paisehz sia..i am those who hate to trouble ppl most and i have to like trouble them..thanks everyone..heheh....i love my script..and sort of love the endin~~~thats jiayi thought one..ya..sad endin is good..but if i am the one watchin i will curse and swear!!cos i love happy endin!!yeah...haiz..borin now..havin extra one hour break than cher and jiayi..haha....and thanks to my classmate KENNY...cos he say i look like a GIRL today..what sia..means i don look like a girl ah....cos of my wearin..what sia..anyhow!!haiz..later still got filmin..and how sia..school track repairin..then i cant run anymore..then if run around my house there...i like lazy lehz...don know..see first..very busy lately...and idon know lahz....also alot of things in my mind to clear....haiz...RUZAINI are u readin my blog oftenly....haha..jus wanna say HI!! u secretive guy......and ena...i don mean that u arent my bestfren,is like i don really tell u alot of my things often and i tell no one...ya..no one...but we will meet up soon k...hehe..and i miss u and ana...yupz...i miss my sec sch days..now i will be like studyin for my prelims sia...right..i miss those time where i study for my Os...haiz...how i wish i could go back...turn back time..but i arent JENNA(13 goin on 30) she could and was given another chance to change her life....but i cant!! haiz...hahah..talkin rubbish again..okok..stop here....later filmin..hope to find JIAYI's dad!!!please..after that scene we only left with ahmad bicycle film..cant wait for it to be edit and done!!hahaha...

hey...it has been wow...full three days i never blog..cos i couldnt blog at home and basically i got no time..haiz..alot of things to talk about....but i dont know whether i got the time to write and talk about it anot...okok..lets talk about friday...see i almost forget...oh ya..remember..on thur my little cousin came to stay at my house..she came out from malaysia..i miss her so much..she is so damm cute..hehehe..then i play with her..for her i never go school in the mornin..then actually don intend to go school the whole day but have to film my video..thats why i went school in the afternoon...and finally...my DVID project is startin...is the short movie....i asked ahmad to help me film and he came my sch to film..when he film with jiayi..so funny...haha..but it turn out nice...not bad..thanks to him...then after that i went to eat with my family and little cousin...alamak she is so cute...superb cute..then after that i stay overnight at my anut's house cos i want to see my little cousin....haha..then in the mornin i went to do CIP in the bishan home..sorry to say..i find them alittle scary..i was scared by one/two of the ppl there...is like they suddenly approach me and tap me on the shoulder..so scary...then after that we clean the fans and lamps..it was a pretty tough job..hahhaha..then after that went home...at first wanted to go to pasir ris park but i decided not to go..cos all 5A ppl then i the only extra one..feel so funny..later they say "eh 5B one..go away" hahaha..then i slept and slept until 6 ...wanted to go joggin but lazy..then laze around until my workin time..then went work...was damm PISSED...i work at kiosk...then it was one of collegues workin ah FAUZI!!! was damm messy super messy...last time i work kiosk at midnight..at around 1 plus i finish cleanin everythin and i can rest..but this time iclean until 3 plus..imgaine how dirty it is...is so that if i am a customer i wont even want to buy drinks from myself...haiz...really sia..then after than monini slam...I SOLO sia...power!!!not bad lahz..got one customer say i got the efficient....then after that came back...then sleep 45 mins bath and went out...luckily i haven board the bus cos at the last minute ahmad tell me he injured and cannot make it..then i thinkin thinkin whether i should go out alone and go shopping..then think 15 mins...decided to go back home and sleep...then from 2 sleep until 7..then don want to go for the weddin dinner ready..but my dad keep draggin me to go..haiz..nothin to wear..wear like shit sia..haiz..then after that and in the end i went...then the programme is nice...cos got the like nice programme..is like is so different from others weddin dinner...came in with those golf car...then after that is nice ah...then the door gift so cute..little bears wearin weddin clothes..so cute..haha..then went home so tired and late...haiz...then don know lahz...so borin...what to say...
for first to F4 sorry ah..on sat never go...hehheeh....but see u all soon but guess is only 3 eh..hahhaahha.....waitin for my video movie project to be done...got alot to say but cant really remember...later then update again k..
my cousin is cute...hahahha...

haiz...borin..borin..borin...hahha..yesterady super funny and awkard day!!haiz..long story..suppose to be a short day for me too..but too many thingd in school ah...then i have the interview for the game tour to hongkong seems interesting right..ya..but alot of things to go thru..have to go for some interview which i don think the lady like us..the netballers...okie..then nvm...then we think think ...aiya..jus go for the interview lahz...so troublesome..okie..then we got this aids talk...in our school convention hall...wahz..the moment i step inside!!WOW!!~~~ amazin..is so damm ZAI~~ and NICE~so grand~~and when i see those ppl slowly comin in right..seems that i miss my concert or those drama night..or those musical nights...is like those feelin ah...damm steady and ZAi lor.r.really...is very big....super nice..and the aids video shows damm funny lor...hahhaa...then after i went to foodcourt 5 to eat pizza...wahz..damm nice lor...hot crispy and nice...really nice..hahhaha..haa...then say ready mahz..yesterday is 15 so is a day to meet up...so i never go for netball debrieftin then went to meet F4 they all....hahha..but end up only bao and yeo turn up ah...hahha..jus like yeo say vinson got reason....so cannot blame him...then luo got international duty ah...hahah...so left the three of us...hahaha....but still as funny and crappy...BAO lahz..eat too much crabmeat ready ahz...keep crappin alot....he funny ah...then yesterady i saw alot of ppl lor...when i met BAO at dover MRT station..i saw cheryl...she is very sad...haiz...then saw my cousin...then saw...........then like what sia...walk away...okie lor...nothin to say lor...thought he wil join me .....nvm...nvm...then at TAmp..meet ena for awhile...long time never see her ah...haha..still the same as skinny as last time..ena...eat more lahz...aiyo....then after that saw my work frens at TM....then after that saw iqbal...he never went sch yesterady then i saw him at TM..hahha...then ya..KYEO...once again..we walked back to dunman once again...and memories flow..haha...they played a little of soccer...hahha....like so funny....then we went home..nothin much...but long time never see BAO ah..He..MIA....haiz..hahha....then KYEO seems alittle bother and troubled yesterday....or maybe he is jus tired...KYEO...can look for me on if u have problems k...and i am utterly disappointed that REAL MADRID lost 3-0..wahz..sad sia..import so many stars players for what...money really cannot buy success....!!!!ARGH....
i realise that many last time i hold on too much on somethin that i missed out somethin important.
things were so different than last time...
why sometime when u like that person,it is so funny and so awkard or like feel uncomfortable when u are around him...but after that when the feelin is gone...all those funny awkard and uncomfortable feelin has gone..is like can talk rubbish..anythin also can....ironical eh...so funny..haiz..then today want to jog in school...but now like rainin super heavily lahz..hope the rain goes away...then tonight my cute little cousin is comin my house..so excited..she came out from malaysia for holidays..yeah...can see her..heheheh...HURRAY!! yeah...hahhaha....haiz...feelin down..but not so bad....don know lahz..don know what i am thinkin...

yoz..yoz...today is a wednesday..and today is a 15!!15 is special arent it..hahha....but still blur abuot the meetin time and venue...hahha...hmmm....lets see...bout yesterday...we stayed back and discuss about our video project...and at first i wanted to find my fren AHMAD ABIDILLAH to help film..but he wasnt HELPFUL...to help.....he never reply me..but nvm...i found my classmates...to help film....and our actress..is my fren Miss Jiayi...hahhahaha.....funny..funny...but thanks to Jiayi who agree to help act..she is the best man..hahhaa...hahah...okie..then after that went home...and funny ah...ena called me ...then ruzaini called me..everytime if ena called me on that day...then ruzaini will call me one...ask me where the place is..haiz..alamak..in my heart i am still angry with him but i don show it out..okok..
maybe let me say..this blog..and this diary..this journal..is some place that i can write and vent out my frustration...and all my anger...but i will only show it here but not to that person..is hard for me to show my anger on that person i am angry with or even i hate...maybe u ppl can call me hypocrite...but i only do this to my best fren..like i am angry with ruzaini...i only keep complainin here but never showed it to him..maybe there is a time i did..but i never really....i am like that..i can show my temoper to my best fren..i will try to bear with it...cos i have high tolerance limit...i felt so..yupz..so sorry to those who i have offended here one..but it my feelin..need some place to vent it out...
read K-Yeo's blog jus now..he mention that he don know who the frens are like...hey..want to tell him..i am jus like him..he mention abotu the judgement thingy..that he don know how to judge...likewise for me..but i think for him right..is he is not yet expose to our ppl..haven yet encounter many other ppl...htats what i thikn..he jus have to trust himself in makin htose judgement...but for me...is bcos i lost the feelin and lost the moment and lost how to trust ppl...i don trust ppl easily now..i learnt my lesson from alot of ecperienes....yupz...some cant be trusted...and Once trust is broken, u can nevr get it back! i understand it now..yeh..once trust is broken is very hard for u to get or gain it back...i keep makin the wrong judgement cos i see too deep into that person and i don trust them..but once i met the right fren..wahz...i will talk non-stop...jus like my netball frens...and esp carely...yupz...hmm....friends are amazin...yeah..but hope there are frens who stand by me always...hehe...
okok..later still got hte AIDS talk....and later got meetin right..hehe....YUPZ!!! see ya guys....meet earlier ah..haha..

yoz..this is a tuesday today..haiz...second day of a start of school...and it hasnt been any different...things are still the same..haiz..borin...wanted to blog jus now when i were havin my 2 hours break...and i was alone! which sometime i wasnt...bcos of my fren...i am alone doin computin....right...my fren....things changes so fast ah...hmm...i wanted to change coursre...thinkin of that...suddenly...i wanted to become an overseas tour guide....which i also get to travel around....that will be fun....bcos of this i fee like changin course....but i thik i am those person that changed my mind and goals easily and very fast...so thats why now i want to stick to my course and don thikn about changin course anymore...i must concentrate moreover i stillg ot three good frens in this course...Cher,Jiayi and Ting..yeah....haha..okie..then jus now i was in the 2034 com lab..then i was surfin jerry's website..then got this guy sat beside me..then was like lookin at my com screen..then say wahz..f4 handsome ah...f4 fans ah..haha..then i jus smile only..so funny...haha..then i burn some jerry videos....hehe..was happy..heheh..then i was alone..so borin..then half an hour later i have to leave cos got lesson..then i am alone..alone alone...all thanks to my fren..then i think don know lahz..haiz..then yesterady we sort of celebrate huixian's bday...i thikn she is happy..hehe....haha...thats nice...she gave each of us a little duckie..hehe..thats cute..then i watch FRIENDS..but the endin isnt as grand as i thought it will be..but was glad that rachel and ross are together...ehhe...and is like so sad..it isnt very funny..haha...okie..then i have to start doin my VIDEO film and get it done by this week..this week?? is liek damm fast..maybe i will quit my job or stop workin for awhile...if not i wont have time for my school work..haiz...don kown lahz..don know whether to quit also..haiz...so sad...haiz...i feel so funny..to see.......haiz..my fren lahz..ARGH~~~ahh~~~haiz..borin..no time no time no time....

Should be blog on previous different days but couldnt blog at home..so i sum up everythin i blog in school...hahha

wow....i am really pissed bcos i still cant blog usin my com...gona try it out in school..goin back to school tml...startin of a new semster...WOW....one semster passed...i think things haven been goin smoothly for me....alot of crappy things are in my mind..never had any nice things up in my mind...hmm.....don know whether is it the older u become the more problems u encountered....closeure of my one week holiday....startin of another idotic school days...this is the first time that i never missed sch when i had holiday...durin sec sch i missed my friends so much and missed my fun in school..but this school.....no hope ah...see...i am a girl that finds it hard to let go of things...so i cant and wont fall for guys easily..cos once i am into it...i guess it will be pretty hard for me to get out from....and is true...and holiday? wahz..doesnt seems so to me....holiday everybody is so free expect me!!! me!! and more me!!!ppl are plannin their outin to shop or have funn...i no need to plan...it has all been out for me....WORK,NETBALL,SCHOOL,....i wont blame netball cos is my sport...but for school and work....maybe i need a break..a long break from work....while i was workin in the mornin on sat...i seriously...really feel like quittin...really want to take a break for myself...but today i work at kiosk in the mornin...then after the mornin shift took over..the midnight shift ppl gather at kiosk...then we all chit chat and joke alittle....it was so fun...and so fun..and when everybody went off..i felt so sad...feel like cryin....is like...don know lehz..feelin weird.....same for netball...thinkin of quittin the SP netball....but some frens holds me back..we click fast and well..we sort of have the bond there....they make me think twice before quittin..same for work...seein the ppl who are fun make me wanna stay....kak elly holds me back...the midnight shift ppl(izan,farihan,brenda,fad,khairi,SK,farhannah,fairuz, n others),the mornin shift ppl(idah,wati,dibah,rodiyah,faisal n others) pathetically no afternoon shift ppl holds me back..i hate afternoon shift the most...SO SLAM!!! and the three phiplipino staffs..they are so friendly...haiz..see...i am someone who still holds the past and someone who is so emotional and undecisive!! haiz..and today so funny..workin at kiosk...then got one aunty asked me "u malay or chinese?" then i say i chinese, then \this uncle ordered a small coffee..then i jus gave to him without chargin him..then after he finished his food he came to me and talk to me in malay..say want to treat me anythin..he buy for me...then i also thought he malay don understand eng...so i have to anyhow say alittle of malay...i said "ooo..i eat ready(in malay)...no need.." then after that he then asked me " u malay ah?" then i say no lahz..i chinese...okie..then after that ...got this malay guy worked in the times bookshop...came and asked me "you chinese or malay?" then i am like er....me ah? chinese..then he went off..i think IZAN ah...spreadin ah..hahah..no lahz..jokin...cos izan keep calllin me malay girl..malay girl..then talk to me in malay...haha..but he funny...then i wrote in the COMM book in kiosk..then he replied to what i wrote....he say "DON BLUFF MALAY GIRL DONT TELL LIES" then i mention i sprained my ankle then he say "serves me right for lyin" then somemore he write in malay" tellin me don deny that i am a malay...don action..."haha...my mood isnt really nice in the mornin..but readin what he wrote...make me happy alittle..like so funny...hahaa.....but IZAN....i am not a malay! haha...okie..then work was alright jus now..haiz..my passion in servin the customers isnt so enthu as i used to be anymore..haiz..sian...then on fri was the last game for IVP...and we played terribly..that was the match that made me feel like quittin..i don know lahz...is like i cant communicate with my partners...ya..is really so different from sec sch those eastzone...is like now i go play...it will be like i can do better that what i used to do...i didnt treasure my sec sch tournament ah..haiz...see....how i regret things after that...i think i am slowly avoidin things...slowly takin things in a negative ways..i need a break..i so damm need a break....and wash my mind...from all those crappy stuffs..i need to be out of singapore...haha..feel like goin to malaysia..back top my grandma place..is so peaceful there.so quiet...u can spend everyday doin nothin but jus laze around..or cycle around....so free....is trees everywhere...isnt like singapore...see sop many ppl everywhere everyday....ppl givin u attitude problem...ppl givin u faces....all kind of different htings...i really feel i want a holiday.l...somehow today it strucks my mind that i would like to be a tour guide....those that brin tour groups overseas....then i will get the chance to travel around different country...and whenever i been to one country i will brin somethin back to remind me that i have been to that country...wahz..how nice it can be...yeah..maybe thats what i wanna be..some job that isnt 8-5...some job that not facin com everyday...some job that doesnt sit everyday..bot movin around..and around..and experienci new thigns...i jus cannot take it that ppl i know are changin to ppl i don know...ppl are true to ppl...ppl are betrayin each other...usin each other..i understand why some ppl say it is better to be ignorance...cos u know nothin...but only the true u...u are true to ppl and brings no harm....u see...ppl are changin...and i definitely can sense the changin in me...i used to love to be surrounded by frens..no matter how tired i will try to meet them and whatsoever...but now...i feels like i am to be a loner...a loner..but i know..if i be a loner now..i will be a loner forever..i cannot think this way..maybe jus have to spend time with myself....yeah...haiz....i never knew that so many things are in my mind....and i don want ot go sch tml..have to do dogin tml...avoidin lahz...haiz...sian sia....nothin better for me to do..but to avoid....ARGH!!!~~~okok..i ready plan how i will not see for the whole week....okie..hope it works....and my SP coach is so sweet write each of us a small note...and she say i got this very LISTENIN attitude and am a good WD...which i don think so..haiz...don know lahz....haiz...haiz..boirin...i jus hope to have a smooth week..nothin more..i don hope to have fun..but jus a smooth week..nothin happen..okie..thanks...
written on 12/9/04 but blog on 13/9/04 cos blog in school..hahah..

haiz...things have not been goin right...this is the term break ready..and my
blog is still spolit...maybe i should change my blogskins..but i hate to..i am
really attached to this blogskin..and i love this blolg...while bloggin while
seachin for a nicer and a better blogskins...haiz...things haven been
good..feelin so shitty....lost my meanin of bloggin..lost my meanin of tellin
things..lost the meanin of doin alot of things...i last blog on sun..that was
before i went to meet MY FREN FREN AH..RUZAINI!!!right ruzaini? he is indeed a
GOOD fren...what the!!he did somethin that i never thought it will..he will..or
whatever....indeed i am burnin inside...indeed i am angry at him...but i don
know why i jus never lose my temper..maybe i am more worried how the other party
will react...huh...SO DAMM SHITY...of cos ruzaini will jus anyhow ah....HE IS A
GUY...is normal for a GUY TO GO FOR GIRl..i also know now is normak for GIRL TO
GO FOR GUY..BUT what he did....certainly is not my way of handling things..maybe
he like everythin to be answered quickly...and whatever...while i am those who
like to take things slowly..that why..maybe he said somethin about the wasted
thingy right...RUZAINI!!!i regret meetin u!!! ARGH!!~~~now i don know how to
face ready lahz..been thinkin of avoidin the person!!!see......sch have been
sucky..now sch is even worse...ruzaini ruzaini...i wont have happy days in
school anymore!!!haiz..this is the continuation of sun...i am so bothered by it
k...then on monday i went to school for maths lesson..was okie..then after that
i met nette to buy some sports thingy..and i am happy that i bought a puma
skirt!!yeah...then after that we headed to school cos we ahve a competition IVP
in school...we are playin agasint NUS...wahz..man...they are damm strong...i don
know whether i played well...but i know when i played WD ic certainly SUCKS at
it...i am not a good WD....i am sad..i am bothered i am angry that i played so
sucky..and it wasnt a good fight..it wasnt s good game..it was BAD!!! wasnt been
happy and hyper after that game...then i was only happy cos i saw my netball
seniors in dunman sec sch one..OH MYH..i miss them so much..i wish we could be
in the same team and playhed netball together again..i believe we will be so
strong that it will be a tough fight to beat us down..HEHE...yeah...then after
the netball match i went to WORK!! ya..work....cos not enuff ppl..what
the...then i was damm tired and werent happy...work isnt fun anymore..it was
fuun and happy like last time....jeremy wasnt funny...everythin is
different...now i don felt like workin aymore...is like i cant quit anytime and
i don F**K care...and then i went home in the mornin after work and i didnt
SLEEP..but bath and go out again..i went for CIP...giving tuition...haiz..was so
damm shity tired...then after the CIP...me,jiayi,cher and ting went to KBOX and
sing our lungs out..hehe..was fun...but after few hours the hyperness isnt
there..haha....then i was damm cold and had a flu..and nose block..yesterday was
the day that i took the most cab in a day..twice..i went to CIP by cab and went
home by CAB...cos i was jus too tired...and when i reach home i settle for
awhile and slept at 8!!slept at 8!!!thats was early wasnt it? i was jus too
tired..then i woke up feelin sick...so damm sick....feelin the whole body
achin...wasnt myself...little fever..bad flu...but i cant be sick..cos later i
got GAME agasint SMU which we will have a chnace in winini...so i really don
want to be sick....i can get sick how sick also can after the IVP but not durin
the IVP....haiz..please...please..feelin so sucky...i have been avoidin phones
call...i have been avoidin meetin..i have been avoidin ppl..WHY?cos with or
without me they dont make a differencec...same in sch..same in netball...same in
everythin...ARGH~~~~~ i need time to losen myseldf...relax myself..have been too
tense..have been too hectic..never had a good good rest since poly starts!!!!
oh ya..i wentt to match 13 goin on 30...was DAMM NICE.....out of ten stars i
gived it NINE!!! the one stars is not given cos they never showed that she won
the battle against her "BEST" fren lucy.....that will be nice if it was
included...but i guess the returnin back to the past shows it all...jenna was
lucky..she is damm lucky that she can returned to the past and changes everythin
..includin love,life,family,everythin...she is given one more chance to do
so....she been to 30 when she was only 13 to see how sad,bad,how flirty she
really was...but she wants to change for a better...and wish things would go
back to when she was 13 so she can changed everythin....and there it goes..the
wishin dust brought her back to 13 jus what she wanted...and be with the guy she
feel comfortable with...is her soulmate...thats it...they had a long
relationship it lasted and they get marrried in the end...and they are still so
sweet and lovin..what a touchin and sweet movie..i love it to the core...how
nice if i can turn back time..but even if i turn back time..nothin much will
changed....haiz....
Fly to the future ,
Knowin things arent the same,
Everythin changed,
You changed,
He changed,
We changed.
You hate your future,
Hate everything single things that changed.
You had a chance,
You flew back to the past and
Changes everythin u knew was wrong
You treasured the chance given to you
And was happy in the end........
Everythin was right
Everythin is jus wrong,
Never had this kind of feelin
Never will i knew i had,
Afraid to admit,
Afraid u will know,
Nothin will changed,
Nobody will know.
lastly added...WE LOST AGAIN...and i play like shit...shit again...I am
nothing...cannot communicate...haiz..sorry girls...i wish carely was there....

haiz...things have not been goin right...this is the term break ready..and my
blog is still spolit...maybe i should change my blogskins..but i hate to..i am
really attached to this blogskin..and i love this blolg...while bloggin while
seachin for a nicer and a better blogskins...haiz...things haven been
good..feelin so shitty....lost my meanin of bloggin..lost my meanin of tellin
things..lost the meanin of doin alot of things...i last blog on sun..that was
before i went to meet MY FREN FREN AH..RUZAINI!!!right ruzaini? he is indeed a
GOOD fren...what the!!he did somethin that i never thought it will..he will..or
whatever....indeed i am burnin inside...indeed i am angry at him...but i don
know why i jus never lose my temper..maybe i am more worried how the other party
will react...huh...SO DAMM SHITY...of cos ruzaini will jus anyhow ah....HE IS A
GUY...is normal for a GUY TO GO FOR GIRl..i also know now is normak for GIRL TO
GO FOR GUY..BUT what he did....certainly is not my way of handling things..maybe
he like everythin to be answered quickly...and whatever...while i am those who
like to take things slowly..that why..maybe he said somethin about the wasted
thingy right...RUZAINI!!!i regret meetin u!!! ARGH!!~~~now i don know how to
face ready lahz..been thinkin of avoidin the person!!!see......sch have been
sucky..now sch is even worse...ruzaini ruzaini...i wont have happy days in
school anymore!!!haiz..this is the continuation of sun...i am so bothered by it
k...then on monday i went to school for maths lesson..was okie..then after that
i met nette to buy some sports thingy..and i am happy that i bought a puma
skirt!!yeah...then after that we headed to school cos we ahve a competition IVP
in school...we are playin agasint NUS...wahz..man...they are damm strong...i don
know whether i played well...but i know when i played WD ic certainly SUCKS at
it...i am not a good WD....i am sad..i am bothered i am angry that i played so
sucky..and it wasnt a good fight..it wasnt s good game..it was BAD!!! wasnt been
happy and hyper after that game...then i was only happy cos i saw my netball
seniors in dunman sec sch one..OH MYH..i miss them so much..i wish we could be
in the same team and playhed netball together again..i believe we will be so
strong that it will be a tough fight to beat us down..HEHE...yeah...then after
the netball match i went to WORK!! ya..work....cos not enuff ppl..what
the...then i was damm tired and werent happy...work isnt fun anymore..it was
fuun and happy like last time....jeremy wasnt funny...everythin is
different...now i don felt like workin aymore...is like i cant quit anytime and
i don F**K care...and then i went home in the mornin after work and i didnt
SLEEP..but bath and go out again..i went for CIP...giving tuition...haiz..was so
damm shity tired...then after the CIP...me,jiayi,cher and ting went to KBOX and
sing our lungs out..hehe..was fun...but after few hours the hyperness isnt
there..haha....then i was damm cold and had a flu..and nose block..yesterday was
the day that i took the most cab in a day..twice..i went to CIP by cab and went
home by CAB...cos i was jus too tired...and when i reach home i settle for
awhile and slept at 8!!slept at 8!!!thats was early wasnt it? i was jus too
tired..then i woke up feelin sick...so damm sick....feelin the whole body
achin...wasnt myself...little fever..bad flu...but i cant be sick..cos later i
got GAME agasint SMU which we will have a chnace in winini...so i really don
want to be sick....i can get sick how sick also can after the IVP but not durin
the IVP....haiz..please...please..feelin so sucky...i have been avoidin phones
call...i have been avoidin meetin..i have been avoidin ppl..WHY?cos with or
without me they dont make a differencec...same in sch..same in netball...same in
everythin...ARGH~~~~~ i need time to losen myseldf...relax myself..have been too
tense..have been too hectic..never had a good good rest since poly starts!!!!
oh ya..i wentt to match 13 goin on 30...was DAMM NICE.....out of ten stars i
gived it NINE!!! the one stars is not given cos they never showed that she won
the battle against her "BEST" fren lucy.....that will be nice if it was
included...but i guess the returnin back to the past shows it all...jenna was
lucky..she is damm lucky that she can returned to the past and changes everythin
..includin love,life,family,everythin...she is given one more chance to do
so....she been to 30 when she was only 13 to see how sad,bad,how flirty she
really was...but she wants to change for a better...and wish things would go
back to when she was 13 so she can changed everythin....and there it goes..the
wishin dust brought her back to 13 jus what she wanted...and be with the guy she
feel comfortable with...is her soulmate...thats it...they had a long
relationship it lasted and they get marrried in the end...and they are still so
sweet and lovin..what a touchin and sweet movie..i love it to the core...how
nice if i can turn back time..but even if i turn back time..nothin much will
changed....haiz....
Fly to the future ,
Knowin things arent the same,
Everythin changed,
You changed,
He changed,
We changed.
You hate your future,
Hate everything single things that changed.
You had a chance,
You flew back to the past and
Changes everythin u knew was wrong
You treasured the chance given to you
And was happy in the end........
Everythin was right
Everythin is jus wrong,
Never had this kind of feelin
Never will i knew i had,
Afraid to admit,
Afraid u will know,
Nothin will changed,
Nobody will know.
lastly added...WE LOST AGAIN...and i play like shit...shit again...I am
nothing...cannot communicate...haiz..sorry girls...i wish carely was there....

Wahz..damm pissed...don know why my blog cannot blolg..then i have to ask my fren to help me blog..but this one is wrriten byh me ah..then i send and ask him/her paste,...okie...tons and loads of things to say and update..had a hectic busy week.,..i think i haven been postin since friday??okok..i think so...or izzit thur? i also don know...i think so..thur i had my maths test? oh ya..i posted on thur lahz...lets talk bout frioday then....hmm....friday...had my java test...wasnt sure at all..confirm fail...doesnt have any confidence at all..i sucks at java don i?? haiz..sian..then after that got some stupid CIP is giving out leaflets to every household tellin them that we have FREE TUITION on the holiday week..this is considered in our CIP hours...quite okie..but waste time giving out the leaflets..haiz..then i watched the 13 goin on 30....was so damm nicee..very nice..the guy is so handsome...the story is so sweet and touching..the whole things is cute and little funnyny...is rreally very nicec..superb nice...i love it man...the guy is really very handsome...love is amazin....the least u expect to fall in love in the end u will realise that he is the one u love most..isnt it? this show is showin somethin like that...but how good can the character in the story be? she still can turns back time and fight once again for her happiness....she is lucky she is fortunate..she return back to the past and changes everythin..every single thing that she knew could make her happy...she changed it to make her happy...she had a everlastin love..isnt that sound so great..woah...i was so into the show..i love it man..then after that thought of meetin kyeo they all but was too tired to go...sorry eh..then hmm.....i forget what i did at night..then after that i went to sleep early...cos the next mornin i have to wake up early for trainin..and i was really early..was suppose to go to watch some movie scrennin..then i never turn up../but it shows..BEND IT LIKE BECKHAMN...ooo..my show...the girl power sia...GOOD,..hehe....then i kanna sunburn sia...face damm red..then after trainin went back home had a quick bath and go work..and cher came my house..hehe...then when i go work..i work at KIOSK!! at first thought okie ah..lucky workin in kisok..then i dread to go there...cos the ppl came non stop really non stop...i got no time to actually have rest..hahah..but funny ah..when ashraf came to look for me and chat wasnt many ppl..haha....then talk with him..then got ppl he went to work too...then after that went back hiome..so tired sia....then after that today work mornin..was all girls...only..one S****D manager...idiot...haiz...i think i crazay also....i should be enjoyin my holiday but instead i gave so many days for work..ahiz...okok...hope myyh blog faster okie..PLS!!

i think ppl took advantage of me being easily cheated...hmm..don kow...i can trust someone so much and believe him/her....but there are always somethin that make me wonder "did i trust the right person?" keep tellin myself that i make the right chioce in trustin this person..but in the end i always ended up wrong...WHY?there is this fren of mine that i don wish to make the wrong judgement..till now i still don know who should i believe...haiz..why cant ppl jus live the way they are? if u like tellin lies go ahead..don make those innocent faces that make ppl cheated by u...ARGH~~~BLOG HAVIN BIG PROBLEMS...why? why?
and today in the mornin i was late again to meet jiayi and cherene at the MRT...sorry sorry..i wont be late tml...don know when i cant hear the alarm sound from my phone..haiz..then have been late for this whole week..last time sec sch i never been late...i was always early...okie..maybe it isnt as far as SP...but still far..i am not late..but don know why i am in SP i will be late always...haiz..Sian..then today got the MAths test..common test...i wasnt sure whether i could do it..i never study at night..i went to sleep instead..i lost the stamina to study through out the night as i could last time..i am not as enthu to study as i am last time..haiz..what is so happenin to me?? don know..then today okie ah..quite.. ...... hahha...hmm.then later still need to go back sch for netball but feel like havin a nap..so sleepy..then tml Java test then term break...haiz...don know ah..
A fake smile for u
A fake me to you
What on earth is happenin?
Why am i like that?
This wasnt the real me.
This wasnt what i wanted.
It jus doesnt turn out the way i wish
It jus went wrong somehow.
Things is funny
Things are bad.
You never know
what is happenin next!!!
okie..maybe update at night...want to take a short nap first...

PEOPLE!!!SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO SEE MY WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL PICTURES...HAHAH...YEAH~~~ AND i very stupid today..forget to bring my hp to school...felt so lost without it..haiz..handphone is somethin i cannot live without...ARGH~~~

wow...my last update was monday right..on monday i was talkin bout the weekends..i haven been postin cos my COM SPOIL again...SIANZ~~haiz...when i need it,it spoils...haiz...idiotic sia..okok..nvm..then trainin was fine...then when i got home and watch friends..SUPER FUNNY sia..hahhaa...very funny...esxpecially JOEY...haha...then on tuesday is yesterday ah..got maths lesson..then it was like the celebrations for teachers day...i wish i could go back but i cant cos i got lessons..now i regret that i choose SP...cos SP is so so so far far far away from Dunman Sec Sch...haiz..then now i very bored durin trainin and very lonely...cos carely is not in..haha..then yesterday i got two hours break and bought a newspaper and go library and see...then after that i skip JAVA again to do my audio..then it wasnt as smooth as i thought we could do..and today is the deadline..once again i am rushin for the deadline again...haiz..gona have a busy week again..and netball IVP is durin the term breakl..haiz...hope if i play i will play well..haha...then don know lahz..havin test on thur and fri but i know nuts bout it...haiz...how sia..help..then the DVID projet abuot the filmin one headache sia..i want a MALAY GUY AND A CHINESE GIRL..but if i find the malay guy i cant find the chinese girl..if i find the chinese girl then i cant find the malay guy...HOW? if this cant i have to change the story....ahiz..sian sia..how..how..how...
then nowadays, i am super not myself...maybe yeo is right...we have all been emo all this week ...i don know what is goin on with me...i don know what is on my mind..i wish i could be as happy as i use to be..but i arent? am i tryin to be kind? am i tryin to get close to frens? isnt that ppl don like me but i have no idea? alot of questions..i don know...
i haven been happy since i left school..then i still laugh in poly..still joke..but is like the feelin isnt the same as sec sch...in sec sch is really what i feel...i reallt feel happy ....poly..
wahz..difficult to explain..i don know...whats is in me? maybe i am not mature enought to think or whatever...i know that for this whole week when i smile laugh it isnt from inside of my heart..is like my smile is so FAKE!!! haiz..don know lahz...how? whats is wrong with me....
FEELIN LONELY~~~~~

COM DOWN~~
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