only a few days has passed and i am here again! amazing month for me to have so many to write about. Maybe because i have been reading more things, therefore more thoughts, maybe i have been observing more, therefore more thoughts, maybe i have been thinking more, therefore more thoughts. and the maybe can just go on.....

there are certain things that i don't agree. if only she was around..... i have so many to talk to her about. I hope august comes soon, then at least i might have a reason but then i know the answer....

I read an article recently, the topic was "Single Ladies". With all the nagging and grumbling that i have been complaining about single, the ladies in the article suffered worst fate than me. Seriously, nothing is perfect in the world. and i mention before, you must have that imperfection to shine the perfection in you. How can anyone or anything be just perfect? Normally, is just the surface that we saw, what really goes on behind we don't know. 

Lady A, is a career woman from a rich family, however never meet the right guy that she could settle down. Therefore, she turned to food. And since then, she put on 30kg which somehow makes things worst. Lady B from an adopted family, suffered from breast cancer but with her optimistic views in life she managed to overcome the hurdle and fight the disease. And because of her sad life, she had attempted suicide a couple of times and now she is still alone. 

So, what makes being single so big deal? So long, you are happy with your life and know how to live happy life alone, then why is being single so big deal? Of cos, there are lonely times, but those are times that will pass and a new day comes again. It won't just freeze there and time just stopped forever. Of cos, sometimes you will still complain about single, but those are just grumbles that you want to voice it out to make yourself feel better. Then again, this will be over and a new cycle in life starts. So what's the real big deal of being single? Nobody should look down on single ladies!

I do have quite a few single ladies around me, they are actually over the marriage age, but what i admired them, is that, they still live life as per normal and won't think that it is a sad thing being single. Of cos, there are lonely times in their life, but i believe they have reached a pact with the lonely times and found a substitute to replace the lonely times. and i said, there is no best friends forever. friends will still say goodbye down the road and new ones will come by, this is a repeated cycle by itself. And, i have already come to terms with this. that was the last of me....

to some point that rach mentioned i am selfish because i want to protect myself, this i totally agree. who don't want to protect yourself? so i thought i made the same mistakes 3 times were good enough for me to really learned a lesson from the incident. So, my lesson learned from the incident was to protect myself. I am not entirely blaming the whole incident but at least i have to learn something out of the 3 same mistakes made over and over again. Is just that, all this time i am more cautions and do not want to be a fool again. I am not trying to find excuses for myself, but when you really think you are not good enough, then is really not good enough. And i do not want to think back hoping i can erase whatever i have done, or when i think back i feel disgusted by myself. i think i am trying to be myself.

I have a list of things to accomplish, yea and i think i should heed his advice to start planning now. So, at least i can start off whatever i want to do after i graduate. I have to list them down so i feel the satisfaction when i start striking them out one by one :)