sometimes i wish to disappear.

Yeah! yeah! it feels so good damn good to have a new working black cool KEYBOARD!! finally, went to change the previous keyboard that i got which was faulty. that's was a damn bad luck. i wonder since when , bad luck has been sticky with me all this year. ever since, i understand the meaning of good luck, i know that it will never happens on me, and i realize that bad luck has been surrounding me. have you ever felt so bad luck before?
what did i did to have this life? did i not work hard for it? no no, is that i got no financial status to provide my life. money doesn't appear to be a big deal of thing for me in the past. but it has definitely been for now. i have so many dreams i want to fulfill, but without money there is no way for me to fulfill my dreams. am i that money-minded? yes, i guess so.

every time i felt some unhappiness at work, i will blame them. they threw me there, they dumped me there, they just abandoned me there without caring about what i feel. i FUCKING hate it! though bad luck is always around me, i am okie with that, cos heaven is unfair. but then, i never felt so stupid before. there isn't any single thing i could do it right. to me, my responsibilities is FUCKING simple and easy,yet i keep making mistakes. Stupid idiotic mistakes!
i hate that feeling. i don't want to do things not right, i never felt like a fucking fool before. damn it! funny isn't it. people like me study multimedia technology yet my job now is some account assistant. WHERE THE HELL IS THE LINK?? WHERE?? i regret alot of things now. i regret. but what could i do not, just to make things better? just to make my life better? maybe i am better off being a babysitter? ha!

i think i am giving myself a marvellous 21st birthday when it comes. already had planned for it. and i stole it from my best frennie. and i totally love her. i feel so comfortable with her,she is my best friend ,love her.

my life just sank to its bottom! deep down and could never retrieve back! why is the world like that? full of reality and cruelty! i detest that! i won't want a dull life for my whole years of living. who knows i might die tml?

i am going to leave that green logo soon. am i able to do that? i have been with it for about 2 years, going 3! and definitely loyal to the green logo. just that people changes around there, and the environment changes, things changes. everything changes. I'll get tired facing all those people, i bet they won't love to face me as well. i will love miss certain people that i have been really close with. and those customers that really love chatting with me. and those customers that love the coffee that i brewed. the customers always praises me. it just satisfied me when i feel that the customers are happy with me. it brought alot of laughters and got to know alot of people. though the green logo is situated at the neighbourhood area, i still get to meet fantastic people. people that really enjoy drinking coffee. and i met alot of nice and friendly and cool partners which we also had fun together! it gave me a good 2 year ++ lovin' it. though the job is tiring, but it brought me laughters, satisfaction and happiness. though the job is tough, it brought me knowledge, people and fun. that's where the passion lies in the job, that's where you find love in doing what you are doing. that's passion. that's love. that's your job!

people vying for certain things, people just can't see other better off than themselves, people just can't stand but get jealous of those who are better, people can't just stop being envy and jealous. these are all those that brought misery and unhappiness, that brought reality and cruelty! is all damn disgusted. i felt disgusted. i hate being like that. i don't like it.


i am still planning a good 21st birthday for myself. just for myself. i hope it will be good. i am tired of facing people. facing people . facing people!

i love taking side;

but i hate life now!

h ow is th at supp ose to be?
i s i t ca ll o ff?
can ce lled?
n ot va lid?
yo u hav e th e s ay
y ou cal l t he s hots.
p le ase le t m e k now.