sometimes i wish i wasn't a fool.

i feel like a fool again. every time it happens, i feel utterly ashamed and disappointed.i hate it when it occurs on the same people again! why must i get the same treatment yet again? let me go! the feeling sucks! feelin of the unknown,the confused,the "thought i am know everything" makes me pukes. is so yucky. how a stupid fool am i? being over it once,twice yet another time. how can a person not learn her lesson and fell for it over and over again. or is it that it plains off. it went off.but...alright...i am a fool.

i wish there's a hot guy there waiting to date me. haha! that must be a joke.a hot guy for me? that must be a present from heaven. haha!no good luck will fall on me. maybe i did many many bad things. that's why there is no good luck for me.

recently, i feel that there is some warmth around this hectic,busy city of Singapore. people letting out their seats for the needy or elderly, people giving way to each other. that should be the way life is. when you help each other out, this world will be a beautiful world and thus, you yourself will feeling happier and brighter and lighter. sometimes, too much of burdens to shoulder is quite a pain in the ass.

i believe that without any hopes there won't be disappointment. so i have been telling myself repeatedly not to hope on things that won't happen, not to hope that this or that will happen, not to hope to not have disappointment. then, i will be a happier and cheerful person. i am always describe as cheerful and cute cos i am no where near pretty and beautiful. ha!so i don't wanna think and i don't wanna hope.but controversially,people does live on hope. without hopes, some find it hard to survive. some patients need to believe that there is hope for them to carry on living. people live towards hope, people live for hopes to happen. people just believe in hopes.

amazing that i have become the target. i am afraid that my passion for my dreams will die off gradually. cos recently, i reach the bottom peak of my life. nothing means anything to me anymore. i just don't care about anything. and i am tired of meeting people. tired of seeing people. tired of talking. i want to be alone. i want to have peace around me.

i am a total loser. a freaking useless loser.always telling myself to stop it, but i just can't do it. what a useless idiotic loser i am . i hate myself being like this. it actually heal, but.....on the whole, i am to blame for being a loser. cos i wish for it. heaven actually grant me my wish. i thought i am able to take it. but i was wrong about myself. i couldn't endure anymore.i want to be locked up in my own whole. i want to be locked up with the people that make me happy. i only want to be locked up with things that make me smile. i only want to be locked up maybe with some hot guys! ha! *slap me please!

i t's th e en d ;

if it doesn't belongs to you, then it never will.