i am here again. ha! i am just too bored. it was interesting. i spent 2 hours browsing through the friendster and came upon many of my Seconday school seniors, juniors and one of my neighbour. yea, my neighbour studied the same secondary school as me. he was a pretty cute boy at that time, while his brother is a handsome guy! since, i moved house 5 years ago, totally lost touched. just then, memories strike. still remember the times when i am still at my old house. my neighbour have to walk pass my house everytime, cos they lived beside me. so, whenever any of their family members walked pass, me and my brother will greet them. even, we are in the middle of a show, they walked passed, we will :" aunty, uncle, 大姐, 二姐,phillip kor, ah john kor" thinking better, it was pretty funny. i always drop by their house to play, that was when i was so young. really young. my neighbour anuty used to take care of me and my brother. she is a very nice lady, so does her husband. they are a very nice family, so are their children. they are very nice neighbour to be. one of the sad reason that i hate to move house, is hate to lose such nice neighbour. i wish i could just see them out along the road, or my family would get invited for any of their children's wedding. *thick-skinned* but they are my nice neighbours!

then, browsing browsing, i came upon a senior whom i have a crush on during school times. can't deny that he is still as handsome as before. ha! hmm, his looks never changed. is funny while looking through the profile, cos all the stupid acts that i did came back into my mind. God! those was extremely shameless. ha! don't even wanna think about it. but,it funny. can't stop laughin at my acts!
friendster is interesting isn't it? they can link you up to your long lost friend, long lost neighbour, long lost lover and your long lost enemy. interesting. hope to see all my long lost friendster soon!

soon, i am going back to my mummy's hometown. is the time when i guess i get to relax. i would be pamper there. cos,living there. it a super slow pace hometown. simple people with simple lifestyle. sometimes is nice to take a walk down the simple hometown. then u might realise that you are still alive. no pressure for the sake of living. time passes slowly while you are enjoying the life. it might be a good getaway, but serious speaking, it won't be a nice place for forever staying. time to getaway.
i hope i will come back brand new me. a brand new memories. like i said, i might already know it's simplicity. cos, it has always been me whom never open up my eyes to have a clearer picture. stuck deep down in the hole for long, it's time i learn to stand up and climb out of the hole. if, not i would just die down there. i must be strong, don't i? yes, i must be! let's be strong! go! go! go!

it was difficult; when i close my eyes'
i thought i could make it simpler; when i washed my eyes'
but, i might already see the simplicity of it; when i finally opened my eyes'
wishing i could get out from the difficulties to see the simplicity of it;'

I wish he was mine. he is simply too adorable!

My favourite cousin since he was a baby. yeah!

One

Two

Three

Four

happy chinese new year to all. chinese new year, it comes and go just like that. people are always excited for the preparations, but too tired to enjoy the process. we are all excited and looking forward for chinese new year, but when chinese new year arrived. it was just " eh, chinese new year . oh, 恭喜發財! 新年快樂! 不就只是這樣子而已嗎? i do love chinese new year, the getting together, having fun. but it seems like this year i had a dull chinese new year. everyone having their own fun, while i was left one side. or is my family's custom and tradition not as fun as others? but, anyway chinese new year will just come and go. when next year, it another routine. maybe now i understand why more and more people tends to not see the importance of chinese new year. cos, it might just be another routine? enough of chinese new year. ha!


erm, did i also wish u guys happy valentine day? ha! Happy Valentine day as well. don't ask me how i spend my valentine day, it will just make me appear as a pathetic soul. ha! just hope that everyone is happy on that day, and hope my dear fren like her present. :)


what am i gona do in the near future? now i am asking myself, whether i am brave enough to do what i want. i have enough of parents wanting me to work as what. am i really brave enough to pursue it? i am testing my abilities. what am i gona do? work my life off doing things that i don't like? i know not many people are able to enjoy doing things they love. many are forced to work due to pressure and for the sake of living. but, do i want this kind of life? funny ah, why can't i be a normal person pursuing a normal life. like many girls, a stable job, marry, look after kids and grow old just like that. is not that i dont want to marry, or i dislike kids, but vice versa, i would love to be able to do the both of them. but then i don want a normal life. i want a life that i love.


am i rattling about life, and more of life. just unable to figure out what i should do. i find excuses saying that after chinese new year then i will think about it, when chinese new year is over, i will find another excuses saying that, when i am back from the trip then i will think about it. aiya, life is miserable. and i am certain i am pretty confused about certain things..why am i always the one who is being controlled? ha! confusing right. yea, thats right. maybe i could make it simpler?
this chinese new year, i saw my relatives kids, gosh, how adorable can they be. simple adorable. simply wish he was mine. ha! he is too adorable and handsome!! argh!! cant wait to go back and see my cousin this coming march, waiting for her. ha! :)

when i am starting to get use to it's absence;
it came by;
when i am adapting to the sudden;
it went off;
it seems that i was thrown into a pool of icy water after a wonderful sun-tanning.

我曾 認真
深愛著一個人
他給我幸福 的可能
我等 我問 未來何時發生
他只是給我一個吻

快樂 我哭
是因為你的手
曾答應帶我向前走

難過 我哭
是因為我的手
找不到你說的 以後
好眼淚 壞眼淚
我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由
只不過 在你不再愛我了以後
剩壞的眼淚慢慢流


快樂 我哭 是因為我付出
得到你溫柔的答覆
難過 我哭 是因為我認輸
你的心永遠留不住
好眼淚 壞眼淚 我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由
只希望 在我不再想你了之後
有好的眼淚慢慢流

好眼淚 壞眼淚 我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由
只希望 在我不再想你了之後
有好的眼淚慢慢流
有好的笑容陪著我

there have been days that i didnt blog. so many many days. my feelings has been coasting up and down. so many things happen.i have so many things to say. but i don know where i should start. seriously, don know how to start.
i have been keeping up with this female taiwanese artise who recently passed away. whenever, i see reports on her, my tears just run down uncontrollably. i don know where my tears coming from. you can say that i am an emotional lady. maybe i am. but i can't complain that heaven is unfair, cos it was never fair. the day when reality strikes everyone, that's when they come to senses that, everything is unfair in this world.
just like what rainie said "时间可以冲淡我们的伤痛，但是我们不会因为时间而把你忘记。 我们会试着变坚强，但是很难，终觉得这是一场恶作剧。人啊，终是会自己别 骗自己。 what she said is very truth. people just fing it hard to face the reality. we always delude ourselves, consoling ourselves when we know the outcome. we just want to let ourselves feel better. but doesn't this make it worse. when it hurts so badly deep inside your heart. farewell 伟伦 。 you will always be the beautiful angel. i watched the musical show that the friends put up for her, and i cried my heart out. it hurts badly that everyone feel for it. no one wish for this to happen, but disaster just strike anytime. no one dare to face the truth, cos they will hurt so badly. but, reality is right before us, yet no one wants to go near. everything ended, they waved goodbye. in the near future, she will definitely always be remembered!

recently, i feel like i am riding a roller coaster, cos sometime i feel down, sometime i feel high. recently, i am happy because school ended, i am happy becos of my retake,i am happy because chinese new year is coming, i am happy because my idol came to singapore. recently, i am sad because of the tragedy, i am sad because of the truth, i am sad because my fren is unhappy, i am sad because i am disappointed in myself, i am sad because i am angry with myself. isn't my mood like a roller coaster, go up fast,come down fast as well. every now and then, i would just cry easily, i don know why. i just feel like crying. you can say i am a cry-baby, which i have to admit i am. i cry alot. seriously alot. maybe can feel erm 2 cups of water. ha!

out from school. meeting with my fren is minimazing, cos we are both busy with our own things. there are so many times i wish i could just find some time to meet her, but i am really busy completing my working modules. i always wonder whether we will be friends forever? cos, poly brought us together, it might also bring us further away. nevermind what i am thinking. i just hope everything turns out well for her, everytime listen to her problems, i could do nothing but listen. that's so useless. but i still lend my ear. precious ear. :)

chinese new year is coming, the atmosphere seem to be decreasing this year. why is that so? i really love chinese new year, when is makes me feels like everything new is gonna start, the old will go away. just feel fresh and relazing. but this year. hmm, i don know... something seems to be missing.