my dear friend asked me "do you believe that somewhere in the world, there is this right guy for you?" i paused awhile before replyin her, cos i have to really think whether i believe this saying. but i can 100% say that sometime ago, i do believe that somewhere in the world there is the right guy. but recently, i have doubts about this saying. is it because depression strikes me again to let me think this way? why would there somewhere in the world be a right guy just for you? do u people believe in this? then go back to my answer, in the end, i still ended up telling her, "yes, i do believe". why in the hell would i say yes when my heart is 50/50. could it be i hope this would happen? hoping this could happen so i choose to believe in this saying? let's make a guess whether i am right? but then how would i know if he is the right one? then again, i have a question to ask. how do you know that he is the right guy? i don know. maybe someone can tell me.


again, i said i have been watching alot of dramas. includes korean and taiwan. sometimes i hate watching korean dramas, cos the way they loved each other is like dying. they portray love seem so magnificant. without him/her, you will feel breatheless, you will feel that there is no meaning in life. is that how love suppose to be? then how is love suppose to be? i search but no one can tell me. everyone has their own point in love. there i should have my own point too. but it seems like i dont? it is not important to me now. you can never find the meaning of anything until you have been through it?


this drama - the snow is to be remembered for the she's birthday. so, she and he would love the snowy day every now and then. so much so, i also love snow, but be more realistic, there is no snow in singapore. so to me, i would use rain to replace snow. so whenever it rains, i love rainy day! i love the coldness it brings, cos then i would know that i have to keep myself warmth. i love the atmosphere it brings, cos then i will realise that i am alone in my room. i love the drizzling sound it brings, cos then i will also know i am not alone in my room. to me, rain is snow. a replacement for snow which can't be seen in singapore. come' on, don't see me as a fool. search urself, maybe u have some foolish thinking as well. ha!


i would want to cry out loud, cry everything out, cry every saddness out, so that everything would be gone. but then i have nothing to cry, so the tears are still stuck inside my eyes, which i feel very uncomfortable about it. is it that i am older, i starting thinking far ahead. i start thinking what are young kids between 12 to 18 doing nowadays. do they know what they are doing? what they want? but in another way, why would they want to know what they want. shouldn't they be enjoying life as it should. like i did. but then i regret enjoying life then, cos i would suffer later. it is so true. ha! but seriously, nowadays, if i were to do anything or to say anything, i would think far ahead, what it would become if i were to do this, what things will turn out if i were to say that. aren't i being a irritating and restricted person. can't say freely what's on my mind?


today, has been long since i laugh so much. ha! i realise it has been long i laugh until my stomach is painful. it has been long i laugh until i can't stop. it has been long. and long. that long. since long. ya, long. it feels like 2 years back, dear friends, i am happy today. today we are happily having fun till then..........


how irony, ppl from other stage counting down to ending their itp, us from this stage struggling to finish fyp and assignments. last year, i was slacking counting down to ending my itp to return to school. but now, i don know whether i should hope for it to end or not to end, cos when it ends, a new stage starts. am i prepared? ha!


was having some talk with sheena, hmm, talking about the past. past, why then are we still talking about the past? cos, i just can't forget the past. but then i should forget the past, i started hating myself for keep saying i wish i was in secondary school. i should just put it down and begin my new stage of life. no matter how happy i was before in secondary, how many tears i shed for netball which i remembered, how many mugging i did for exams, how many regrettful things which i could remembered. i should just dump all this hell of things away. it has been on and off on my mind, which isn't giving me a break. suddenly i remembered, the drama, when u want to take a break from everything, don go far away, go high up. hmm, is it useful? how high up can i go in singapore? cable car? ha! yeah. should give it a try. cable car. high enough? anyone know where u can go high up in singapore? hai, singapore is a small country, but still is a developed country.



are things okie?
no, i don't things are right
.really, things aren't right?
yeah, they shouldn't be right.
why can't they be right?c
os i know that it can't be right?
where i know that wrong is not right.