there are alot of things in the worlds that are unpredictable. you never know when anything will happen. things just snap just like that. recently, tears rolled down easily, cos i feel sad. sad for a kind hearted lady who have left. everythin happen so fast that i can't digest, so i can't imagine how her friends or family members could do it. this shows that life is so fragile. anything can happen anytime.

you know what, there are so mamy things i want to say, but i am not in the mood for all that.

anyway, i am just disappointed with myself. i thought i already figure things out, i still console my friends and said i could do it, why can't she. but in actual fact, i think i didn't manage to do it. but believe me, i will do it soon. soon enough to realise.

that's for now.
i have been feeling freezing everyday. i can't take the cold. ha. gonna endure awhile more.

hey, frens, what u all doing on valentine day? ha, is just another day.... :)

friends, happy valentine! grab what's yours! and treasure and cherish it. that's it for now.


i say bye;
you kept quiet;
maybe yes, maybe no;
that's what i get.
that's now; and never will never;
say bye , and yes bye!

my mum just repainted my whole house which includes living room, kitchen and all the bedrooms. everything just seem new again. it seems like 5 years ago, i just moved into this new house of mine. everything reminds me of 5 years ago. i still remembered, that auscpious day, my mum and dad moved everything over. i was in school. i was sad that i did not participate in it. ha! 5 years ago, in secondary, it was just walking distance for me from home to school, eversince that particular day, everythin changed. i have to take 2 buses to reach school. it was funny, as that time i wished for that. i didn't like it when my school and my house was just walking distance away, i envy those kids that could take bus to school. then, when fulfil my wish in taking bus to school, i complained. See, i am so hard to please. but then 1 year later? don remember when, i had bus accompanion. ha! cool! accompany my whole morning bus ride, and took away the lonely times. ha!

after my house got repainted, the whole brand new smell surrounds the whole house. i sort of love the smell, it just seem that i moved into a new house. it was hard for me to describe that feelings. i took out everything that was put on my shelves. i want to take away certain memories as well. after everything ended, i will decorate my shelf with brand new memory again. soon, it will be.

there were many times, i wanted to cry badly. cos, everything was just too difficult for me to handle. but i told myself, "hey, you shouldnt cry, you shouldnt give in to all the problems, you should be brave to face it. " and from then, i keep surpressing my tears from falling down. then my fren told me, "no, actually crying can be a form of relieve" hmm, well, that's true. but maybe at the point of time, my opinion in crying wasn't that. i didn't want to lose, i didn't want to give in to all the problems. i want to face it. and face it with all my might! and once everything is over, they should just bloody go away. there are so much anger in me, so much that i could hardly breathe keepin this anger within me, so i tell myself, to let it all out when everything ends. and it is going to end soon. i want to just shout it all away.

when everything end, i have to face another reality again. there was non-stop for me in my life.

i should be glad that at least i am living for a dream. a dream that i want it to come true, the dream that i am working for it to come true. a dream i hope it will come true! yes! that's my whole point in living.! yea!

my dear friend asked me "do you believe that somewhere in the world, there is this right guy for you?" i paused awhile before replyin her, cos i have to really think whether i believe this saying. but i can 100% say that sometime ago, i do believe that somewhere in the world there is the right guy. but recently, i have doubts about this saying. is it because depression strikes me again to let me think this way? why would there somewhere in the world be a right guy just for you? do u people believe in this? then go back to my answer, in the end, i still ended up telling her, "yes, i do believe". why in the hell would i say yes when my heart is 50/50. could it be i hope this would happen? hoping this could happen so i choose to believe in this saying? let's make a guess whether i am right? but then how would i know if he is the right one? then again, i have a question to ask. how do you know that he is the right guy? i don know. maybe someone can tell me.


again, i said i have been watching alot of dramas. includes korean and taiwan. sometimes i hate watching korean dramas, cos the way they loved each other is like dying. they portray love seem so magnificant. without him/her, you will feel breatheless, you will feel that there is no meaning in life. is that how love suppose to be? then how is love suppose to be? i search but no one can tell me. everyone has their own point in love. there i should have my own point too. but it seems like i dont? it is not important to me now. you can never find the meaning of anything until you have been through it?


this drama - the snow is to be remembered for the she's birthday. so, she and he would love the snowy day every now and then. so much so, i also love snow, but be more realistic, there is no snow in singapore. so to me, i would use rain to replace snow. so whenever it rains, i love rainy day! i love the coldness it brings, cos then i would know that i have to keep myself warmth. i love the atmosphere it brings, cos then i will realise that i am alone in my room. i love the drizzling sound it brings, cos then i will also know i am not alone in my room. to me, rain is snow. a replacement for snow which can't be seen in singapore. come' on, don't see me as a fool. search urself, maybe u have some foolish thinking as well. ha!


i would want to cry out loud, cry everything out, cry every saddness out, so that everything would be gone. but then i have nothing to cry, so the tears are still stuck inside my eyes, which i feel very uncomfortable about it. is it that i am older, i starting thinking far ahead. i start thinking what are young kids between 12 to 18 doing nowadays. do they know what they are doing? what they want? but in another way, why would they want to know what they want. shouldn't they be enjoying life as it should. like i did. but then i regret enjoying life then, cos i would suffer later. it is so true. ha! but seriously, nowadays, if i were to do anything or to say anything, i would think far ahead, what it would become if i were to do this, what things will turn out if i were to say that. aren't i being a irritating and restricted person. can't say freely what's on my mind?


today, has been long since i laugh so much. ha! i realise it has been long i laugh until my stomach is painful. it has been long i laugh until i can't stop. it has been long. and long. that long. since long. ya, long. it feels like 2 years back, dear friends, i am happy today. today we are happily having fun till then..........


how irony, ppl from other stage counting down to ending their itp, us from this stage struggling to finish fyp and assignments. last year, i was slacking counting down to ending my itp to return to school. but now, i don know whether i should hope for it to end or not to end, cos when it ends, a new stage starts. am i prepared? ha!


was having some talk with sheena, hmm, talking about the past. past, why then are we still talking about the past? cos, i just can't forget the past. but then i should forget the past, i started hating myself for keep saying i wish i was in secondary school. i should just put it down and begin my new stage of life. no matter how happy i was before in secondary, how many tears i shed for netball which i remembered, how many mugging i did for exams, how many regrettful things which i could remembered. i should just dump all this hell of things away. it has been on and off on my mind, which isn't giving me a break. suddenly i remembered, the drama, when u want to take a break from everything, don go far away, go high up. hmm, is it useful? how high up can i go in singapore? cable car? ha! yeah. should give it a try. cable car. high enough? anyone know where u can go high up in singapore? hai, singapore is a small country, but still is a developed country.



are things okie?
no, i don't things are right
.really, things aren't right?
yeah, they shouldn't be right.
why can't they be right?c
os i know that it can't be right?
where i know that wrong is not right.

hey, happy 2007! wahz... another new year arrived. yet, i am feeling nothing. i don't have the strong feeling of an old year passed and a new year arrived. but still , happy new year.

last year i find myself pathetic stayin at home counting down to 2006, i still remember how depressed i was, how sad i was, when everyone is outside counting down together, no matter is with their loved ones, with their friends or family. i ask myself, how come i am at home counting down?

but this year, i am still at home counting down, but i don't feel pathetic.i don't feel sad, i don't feel depressed. moreover, i was home alone. but then i was fine with it. i am happy watching tv. watching taiwan's countdown concert. it was really fine with me. but then why i prefer staying at home this time? ha! what a big change in a year. 2006 passed, did everyone jus welcomed 2007? but how come it seems to me that i am still welcoming 2006?

new year, people will always talk about, what is the biggest achievement this year? hmm, mine? there isn't any biggest achievement. cos in this whole year i learnt nothing but keep repeating the same mistake again and again. i felt that this whole year i have just lived meaninglessly. i didn't achieved anything, i didn't do anything. it was just a plain year for me. i always hate myself for wasting so much of my time away yet i still don know how to treasure them.

new year, people will always ask, what is your new year wish? again, we have birthday wish, christmas wish, then come new year wish. why should i wish? when all my wishes don't come true. they are just trying to make me feel worse. wishes are full of shits! seriously full of shit! i wish this, i wish that? i wish to have a billion dollars. so while waiting for my wish to come true, i just stay at home, sit and watch tv and wait for my billion dollars? that's just impossible, so then why the wish? why are there wishes? i don believe in wishes.

new year, fireworks is something that will always be present to welcome a new year. it brings excitment to people and bring happiness to enhance the atmosphere. how nice a fireworks. but then, it only last for a few minutes and it died. a few minutes of beauty, but then they are important, in the few minutes of life, they could make millions of people happy, high and excitment, not alot of things or everyone can accomplished this big task! so fireworks is very noble! you go fireworks!

hmm, am i still writing very sad blogs? it the first blog in a new year, yet i am still trying to be a good blogger. hmm, i will try to lighten up the atmosphere in my blog. but then, i go with the flow and with my feelings. i just write whatever is on my mind.

a new year has come, time to tidy up my bedroom. i want a new environment.

i always trying too hard to be kind. ha!

let u guys have a look at my cuties!

here some pictures of myself!

here some pictures of my idols!!

小猪 和 丞琳 ！ 我最爱的偶像！

小猪让我天天开心！ 真棒！耶！