merry late christmas. anyway, no one really comes to my blog to read. then, why am i keeping a blog? trying to keep up with the trend? or hoping someone will read? or hoping i can be famous by bloggin? or hoping my opinion is voice out? whatever the reasons, at least i am still writing. prevent my brain from getting rusty.

sometimes , i envy people that are constantly busy. very busy with their work. busy with work that they love. enjoy in working though they are busy. i really envy them. cos, they are really working hard and doing things that they like. when will i have a chance to do things i like. is always restriction and limitations. restriction because of age, because of environment,because of surroundings, limited of money,limited of social circle, limited of beauty. lots and lots of thing. human relations are important, building a good human relations will help in many ways. sometimes, no matter how talented you are, you will still need a helping hand from surroundings strangers.

from the day when i know reality is cruel, i knew that i am a bad luck person. luck was never seen on me. i was never lucky before! NEVER! is either i get helped from people or just bad luck will struck on me. it follow me for years, and is still following me. i don't even remember i used "lucky" to describe my day or any event. so sad. why am i such a bad luck person?

there are so many things always on my mind. recently, i love staying at home. if there's is nothing for me to really go out. i think i can stay at home for 1 week. maybe is because of the weather or maybe i hate the world outside, or maybe i just don't like mixing in the crowd. or i just want to avoid people. aren't i a complicated lady?


suddenly, i have this thinking, i want to get out from Singapore. is not that i don't like this country, i am just tired of the environment here, or people surrounding. i am always seen putting up a fake self . suddenly, seems like i lost all my friends. i find no friends out there, except for one.

the 3 of us, i always thought we were very closed, i loved people sayin how close the 3 of us are. but how come year 3 seems wrong. it just not close and no longer close. bitching behind, that's really bad.

friends? have i anymore friends? hmm, maybe all invisible friends. i am a pathetic soul . i know who can be my friends. my TV set. i always stick with my TV set whereever i go. i love my TV . i love youtube. ha! what a big joke. freaking irritating.

last time i thought i was always the one relying on people, but how come now i think i am more independent. i found people relying on me. maybe i trained myself to be like that. cos for me, i feel i am a burden relying on people, so i will put up a brave front and try to solve everything myself. take everythin down. hmm, i got nothing to say.


i have got 3 beautiful little cousins, 3 handsome little cousins, 1 smart P5 cousins. my cousin is so beautiful and i like it when she stick with me. i wish my kid next time will be as beautiful. ha! i have this smart cousin who always speak and shock everyone . he is just so smart, and you can never imagine what is going through his mind. he speaks fluent cantonese which i want him to teach me. ha! yippe, a bunch of cuties.

from the day when i know santa clauas doesn't exist, i know fairytale is fake, i know there isn't any happily ever after.
when i know fairytale is fake, i know cinderalla never manage to find back her glass shoe, i know snow white didn't wake up from the posion apple,i know the beast abuse the beauty. all the fairytale is just fairytale to coax kids.




it stopped;
when i wish it had earlier;
but till now i couldn't 100% confirm;
but i know it have to;
is a matter of time;
so just let it fly away;
and come again;
then maybe a chance of 50/50;
i want to disappear for a moment;
catching a breath;
knowing i am still alive;
i wish it just past tense;

my new year wish -- to graduate successfully ! please!