hmm...was actually readin thru all my previous post...from before chinese new year...all the way till the last post i wrote...hmm...have been thru many kinds of different feeling..have been feelin down...hmm..guess i am very fake arent i.. i guess i wast really happy oncec.. i mean everytime i laugh..everytime i smile..everytime i try to be happy..all those are fake...are act by me...alright i mean i am happy whenver i am with cher and jiayi...cos we are real crazy..i am happy when i went for the cyclin...i am happy those times...i mean okie...i should phrase it thise way...i am happy when i really am...but the thing that i lack of is happiness...isnt it? i guess i lack of this happiness feeling... all my post are all so saddin and saddin and even worse... never i had a good happy happy good thingy...once i am very very down...but guess i were never very very high...hahha...but there are things that i feel happy about deep in my heart...guess there are already some answer in mym heart...jus that my mind wont want to listen to my heart....i couldnt help it then..hahha...i am stubborn at times...stubborn not to let go....yupz....but things changed isnt it...i shouold learn to let go..if not how am i suppose to continue livin my life?