caramel has alot to say..but she dont know where she should start..or how she should start...she got alot of feelings inside..but doesnt know how to express it out....and jus now while she was watchin TV..she heard this phrase goes like "Enjoy the process and ignore the outcome" somethin struck her mind..yar...why dont she jus enjoy the process and ignore the outcome...maybe she will be a happier person this way...why bother so much about the outcome..who knows the next day she die....*touchwood*..... but sometime enjoy the process is easy...but ignorin the outcome cant be that easy....isnt as easy as said...but maybe she will try doin it..and see whether she can enjoy the proceess and ignorin the outcome...recently emotions have been fillin in her once again....emotions that once died out..have become alive....but now..i think caramel see things in a different way...and somehow she is one who tolerate...but the anger will keep boilin..and she suppressed it and if she really cannot tolerate she will burst which i think can be scary...she wont want to see things turn like bad...and she jus wish for peace..why make it until everyone is unhappy...yar..but nowadays she isnt as happy as the period when she was in hongkong and after she came back...she is back to down.....but there are times when she still laughin like crazy..and she keep smilin...and sometime she is confusin over that pair of eyes...that pair of eyes can be so deciving..and untrustable...she was viewin her friendster testimonial jus now...irony...some frens really know her well..but they jus didnt stay....she realised that once frens are worlds apart...lost contact...is difficult to be as close as they were before..jus take caramel and one of her best fren as an example..JAS....since sec sch..the two of them were very close...going everywhere together..sharin everythin...be it happy or sad..be it tough or enjoyable...things never change for them..they shed tears together..they laugh and have fun together..but things started to chage when JAS went JC and she is still stuck in sec sch..although there is contact between them..but isnt as close...but they still become close frens agter that..but somehow they drifted apart again..and this time...it is for real...she find it hard to be as close again..cos caramel wont know when is it the next time for partin..she know partin and leavin is part and parcel of live....but is jus too much...yar...sayin is always easy..she always wanted to meet up with her sec sch best budd JAN...and her Work best frens eve and caren..but doin is always difficult..is either time doesnt allow..or thing cock up...but she misses them alot...haiz..frens come and go....WHO WILL STAY IN THE END? but now she got frens who are from sec sch though..some unexpected ones..hehehehheheh.....

Ole~Ole~Ole....POWER!!! SINGAPORE WON!!! i went to watch sia..the atmosphere was damm nice..superb SHIOK!!! wahz..RED LIONS REALLY ROAR!! hahahha....the whole crowd in kallang was damm uunited and damm cool...and indo fans only stand like 1/15 of the crowd..damm pathetic sia..haha..then the kallang wave we did was so damm nice..really better than NDP ...serious...and the match was awesome..now i understand the feelin of watchin SOCCER MATCHES LIVE!!! wow..now i wanna go old trafford and watch MANU match live..and Santiago Bernabau to watch REAL match live..power...the concentration u put in the game is better than watchin at home...and u roar when they score and cheer when they score...and heart skipped a beat when the opponent score...and jeered when they scored..hahha.was damm nice ah..hahha...but singapore fans are alittle too much..banners of 'indo welcome to hell'...damm bad ah...we keep cursin the indo fans andplayer..if i were the players..my morale really go down to the core man..but whats the situation like at indo home ground..maybe they are worse...but think about it..they cant win while playin at home ground..they expect to win playin AWAY?? hahhahaahah.....but the match damm nice ah...then we also saw hua and kenny on our way there...kenny very funny carryin the singapore flag..hahha..power...wahz..then on sat..spend a nightout man...is 15th..so as usual we met....4 guys and 1 girl..but this time round..we had more company...wei and joel join us...so the more the merrier...yupz..ehhe..then we went marina for steamboat...wahz..damm shiok..TOM YUM Soup...power...then we eat..then we had funn..and laugh..baolong crappy skills improve....hahhahha....he ah..forever...like to talk back at me..anyway not only him..i thin the whole gang..haha...yupz...really fun..and wei relly can click better with them than me man..and joel very funny..hahahha...yupz..then after that we went for a movie..but wei never go cos she had to go home and for joel..he is jus a small little boy..must understand..hahaha...so as well he went home..we watched meet the fockers...but it seems like only me laughin as usual..although it was the 2nd time i was watchin it...how come? bao wasnt laughin ...luo also i guess vin as well...but i think yeo must be laughin...hahha....anyway a new year..and we had a new night out...hahhaha...good one guys..hahhaha....next week...vin's plan..hehehehe...hope he cook ah..ahhahahahha....yeah yeah...then today i feel damm terrible unwell..feel like vommitin..but cant vommit out...i don know why..aiyo..feelin bad..haahha...damm shag also...but i played alittle soccer todya..so fun..hahah....yupz..hope tml will be a better day... :)

knowin the day cant get any better....
i try to enjoy the process...
tryin my best to fake out a smile..
but sorrow swells in my heart...
the reason is unknown...
the answer is unclear...
who can make me a happier person oncee again....

feelin sick...terrible..sleepy Chunpei--signin off...