somtimes i wish my life will be like lauren conrad, okay maybe not all, how bout half?

ha! this is the second time that i said i wanted like like hers', can you see how much i wish for what she has. but definitely, it is not going to happen, unless maybe i make it happen.and just that, you is lauren conrad when she was born but i will be lauren conrad maybe in another ten plus years time. ha! olright, i am joking. but i guess we just have to work hard in our life and expect the less. cos expectations make me out of breathe, reaching out for something that never meant to be is so difficult. maybe we could just lighten our burden in life by lending a helping hand to yourself. you need that than anyone else does. so why not! it is definitely good to have a goal in your life and to know that you are working towards it. but i have a goal in my life and i only dream about it. life's still as tough. life is just so not meant to be. finally, the hills season 3 finale and i am so excited. i wanted to know so badly whether Lauren is together with Brody. out of so many guys in her life, Stephen, jason, i guess Brody is the most charming gentlemen, never mind his flirtatious's character. he is very hot!! and the chemistry between the 2 of them is burning hot! ha! and the hills season 4 is coming up soon! is all about lauren and whitney in Paris!! how could anyone missed it! PARIS!! amazing!! but then, the preview had it that " brody has a girlfriend?" "how can that be ?" - flashed across my mind instantly! that definitely cant be true. haha. alright, stop making mild guess. have to catch the hills season 4 to know everything!!

orite. i have so many many pictures to share and gossips as well. but i guess gossips should just be kept within me and friends. my lovely princess is here last last week! and she is really really beautiful and sweet and cute and funny. love her so much. orite, stop my compliments, have a look and you will know.









i guess i will leave out the comments. to many to comment about. i have been so busy recently, actually with nothing! cos, i am not too sure what i am busy with. maybe acting busy, maybe trying to be busy. maybe trying to ignore the people in my world. maybe trying to be alone. maybe trying to be happy. oh ya! i just bought , i just bought, i just bought the most expensive bag in my life till now. for me, ya is expensive but guess pretty affordable. i love it but still have yet to carry it. it looks very elegant, very nice,good color blend, nice prints, nice unique bag shape. just simply amazing pretty beautiful bag! see me out with it! ha!

hey guys, have you all ever come across this word call platonic this term" Wow! i learnt it from my friend the other day while i was trying to figure our the relationship between my customers. ha! but interesting to know there a word that really exist to describe this kind of relations, which i think was totally bullshit and nonsense. that funny how this term comes about.

i went to Show's concert last last saturday and it was amazing "high" for the premier seats audience. but was amazingly cold for the audiences seating surrounding the indoor stadium. i am very high and wanna like high along but too afraid to stand up alone and might be blocking people's view and it wouldnt be nice. but i could see that i was very worth watching to even get the most expensive tickets. cos he looks very attractive when he was dancing, singing love songs and while playing piano. plus he is very humorous. there were laughters throughout the whole concert with his Mr Pig : "good good good good" and his fabulous english! he is the man!! haha! happy for the week.

if there will be a country that has 4 seasons, and citizens need not work to live all provided by government. you guys better don snatch it with me, cos i will definitely be the first very first to queue. cos, work now makes me want to puke, want to scream out loud, want to just bang! and leave, want to just fuck off! seriously, nothing is good. will 2008 be nice? promise?

orite, enough of me writing nonsense. let's move on.

sometime i wish i won't repeat the same thing twice. OMG!! it is seriously coming to another year end. damn! time passed fucking fast this year round. and i hate this year. my every year's resolution is to have a better year than previous, but i guess my wish always turn on the other side. it will just get worse and worse each year instead of getting better. i never imagine i had to pass through such a difficult time this year round. nothing is going my way. mistakes made during work is seriously getting on my nerves. i hate to face the politic office issues, i hate to face the fact that i failed so badly in judging people. i hate to face the fact that i always thought that everybody is nice and good. i hate the fact that i stand so strong on my own judgment but ended up wrong. seriously, what's wrong with me? i have a problem with people. in this world there are things that can make me happy. but i only tend to remember things that made me sad. in this world there are so many people that can put a smile on your face but i only hate the people that make me tear. in this world there are so many people that can make you laugh but i only cry for those who make me sad. in this world there are so many different people out there searching for their soulmate but keep on making going to the wrong one. hell to the world. hell to me! ha! i realise something, no-one can't live without anyone. in this world there's alot of things you have to depend on yourself, and don't ever say things like:" i can't live without you" which i seriously think is bullshit! you were born to live for yourself. you were born to step your foot in this world. you were born for who you are. so never say you can't live on without anyone. everyone should learn their means and way of living. everyone should have their stlye of surviving. and i love hanging out with bestie. recently being to the barracks over at demspey which was a very cool chillout place. always have never-ending chatting session with her. i really don't know what will happen down the road. so far, there i could not see any sign. but life is moving on, moving forward. everybody has their own stuffs. and seriously i think i should better get alive and not wasting my youth meeting uncles everyday. ha! orite, back on track with the hills. and brody should really get together with lauren. and god! lauren got to meet Marc Jacobs... how cool is that... and bloody shit, she is acting so calm when she saw him which he was one of her favourites! haha...that's funny!! okie, i am going to continues seeing uncles everyday. let me know who's life is sadder than mine?

my new hair months ago;

sometimes i wish i am not so stubborn.


it has been time since i blog. cause i did mention that i will only blog if i have something happy to share about. or maybe when i see some happy things in my life. right now, i did spend 2 happy days recently. which was on the eve and actual day of my birthday. i had a good girls night out dinning and chilling with my bestie and several girlfriends. Thank you! my birthday wont be any better without them. especially with my bestie.. seriously, she is a must in my birthday celebration. and her sister is so adorable and nice!! she made, MADE a pillow herself for me. so i have a handmade pillow for my birthday present. she is so cool!! and bestie did give me a good birthday and birthday present. really a big thanks to him. and the girls. without them the day out wont be good! thank you girls.

and on the actual day itself, i went out with my sec sch friends. seriously, i was disappointed that it was last minute but then i understand them....i sincerely thank them for the effort. seriously, could feel their effort. the cake and the present. they all tried to make it to come out. thank you. and joel!! he is also a must.. he damn hilarious!! superb!! always made me laugh to the max. and we watch this movie "the brave one" from the movie i understand that people changed due to circumstances! unknowingly, they changed due to surroundings and happenings.
the show was quite a dry one but i guess i understand alot from it.
and sorry, i couldn't act normally. it has been just difficult. but thanks everybody. you guys just turned my birthday into a great and successful one.

my brother and parents gave me very very good birthday present! thank you. my brother's card made me burst out in tears.

lastly, thanks everyone who remembered and wish me on my birthday. that was my 21st!! however, i seriously don have the birthday feeling.... alright, i am gona share some pictures. here we go.....


Day : 12.10.2007, Friday
Venue : Oosh
Time : 10:30pm

bestie and me;loveherjie and me;

mary and me;

nana and me;

jie,mary and me;

Day: 13.10.2007, Saturday
Venue : Vivocity rooftop stage
Time: 11:00pm

my 2nd birthday cake;raspberry&blueberry ice cream cake!

timer1;

timer2;

timer3;

timer4;timer5;

3,2,1 NOW!! ;

hair-eater;snapshot;reporting sir;thank you & sorry;thank you cause i know he won't forget;thank you cause he always has his ways to make me laugh; little boy.thank you for being the bestest friend.thank you for "giving me the psp"thank you for eating alot!;ha
lastly, this was my wish. and i seriously hope it comes true. i don't care about other birthday's wish but i thought, 21st birthday wishes should come true!! and i made the same 3 wishes twice! so it better come true. sincerely wish!

sometime i wish i could disappear......

WOW!! i salute to my own courage...finally the coast is clear. i've never felt so terrible in my life before. i've never shivered that badly before. i've never know what is like when you find yourself struggling to breathe. i've never felt that unbearable before. i swear i will never wanna have this kind of emotional running inside. but i am happy that things got figured out. i did it for myself sacrificing ... difficulties. now, i understand what it meant by "time isn't right". sorry for that.
but thank you.

luo went in army today. and yesterday i totally feel like killing him!! cos he keeps saying things that he know he shouldn't have!! but, i understand his concern. hope he will be doing well inside. they are the only secondary school friends that i am still in contact with. that's good that everyone is finally enlisted. and guess 2 years will passed by very fast. there bound to be many things that will happen in the next 2 years. but, i can't predict much. still feel like leaving here so much...seems like everyone i know, everyone is leaving here, when will it be my turn?

hmm, guess i will stop posting for awhile until i found some happiness to write about.
this is no lie that - life is like a drama. everyday just screening different kind of storyline, with different characters.

this is no lie, that this box of potiful sweet really contain this lucky " heart " shape sweet! was exhilarated that i found it!

need to do something to my complexion.

sometime i wish you could disappear......

i think i have make it a habit for me to post every sunday. actually the post allows me to distress. cos i need not make it out clearly what,who,where i was referring to. is good enough that i know it myself. i realize crying is a form of distressing. maybe is "my way to distress" after a good cry, i will feel better....i fell terribly sick on wednesday, which i never felt it before. nauseous, weak, giddy, just simply damn uncomfortable and i have no idea why my tears just kept falling down uncontrollably. i can't help it but i keep crying...maybe it when one happens to be very weak and will just cry easily. but i am okay now. but still feel like letting out a good cry!!

this whole 2 weeks, i wasn't a loser. i was able to tell myself not to do it. no mails, no msg. and i did it!! not to prove what, but have to let go. cos i know i should focus on something that i could see future in, that i believe if i put in effort i can make it. that i believe i can do it. but again, i dare not put such high hopes on it. cos the more i expected, the least i get. this always happens on me....

i was back on track on "the hills", the more i watched, the more i want the life of lauren conrad. she isn't some bitchy ladies that seriously is a bad girl. but she is cool, fun and love friends. and she really should deserve someone good. though, the hills somehow some parts looks alittle dramatic, but i love watching it. all the girls are so beautiful and pretty. and all her dresses and shirts she wore is so nice and suits her so well. i really love her life. and brody is damn "hot" maybe if i were to have a son next time, he shall be name brody. cos, name with brody are "hot hunk" eg. "adam brody" haha...he is another cute guy!!

there are so much regrets i have in life. so much i am going for. so much that i hope i can do alot of things in a day. so much that i think a day is not enough for me. so much that i hope i have 3 of me to do alot of things at the same time.

my blog has been classified as a "emotional and sad blog". ya, maybe that's me. it is definitely very hard for me to write some happy things here when my life is no where near happiness!! but seriously, there isn't many people reading it. i guess i read it more than anyone else. is a good thing, cos when i read back my past, at least i know how bad my english was. haha.....


all the things said were lies;
lies that never come true;
lies that make everything turned out to be so yucky;
lies that make me feel uneasy;
lies that keep repeating in my head;
lies that i wanna forget;
lies.........

thinking of having a short hair.

should i cut it?where can i find my shining star? shining shining;