it has been long since i write a post. there are so many things that i wanna voice. somehow, i am quite unhappy with my life now. somehow, i think my life is pretty pathetic in this state, somehow i do ponder about my future, somehow there are so many unanswered questions that i have, somehow it just bothers me a lot.

firstly, why must i be like just anyone else. why can't they just spare a thought for me? i am fine with not sponsoring for what i want to, cos i know the field that i wanna be in is difficult. so, i don mind them not sponsoring. but at least spare a thought of what i would like to do. i am fine with my present status until everything take a change and turn half of my world upside down. i don't like asking for favors from people, yet i have to do so. i hate it when i owe people a favor. dislike! when in the first place, they didn't want to plan my future, only until i have a dream for my future, then they step in to ruin my dream. not totally ruin but doesn't even bother! that pissed me lots! not sparing of what i want to do is bad enough, having wanting me to do what i dislike is worse! this is so much of the life that i doesn't want. i know not everyone could have their dream life. but then at least they tried to work towards it , don't they? i hate it when i hear him say " other people don't like the job but still then stayed on and work" idiot!! why must i be one of them? i don't want to be one of them! i hate it when he keep saying " i also don like my job but i still have to work!" but that's you, not me! i don want to be like this! maybe anyone can say i am stubborn, but come on. i don want to live my 20 more years of life be just like anyone else.
i don't see my future like this. never did it occurs! enough of other people also like this, other people also like that! freaking just enough of it. is so what i don't like.
but i truly appreciate the people that have my concerns at heart. thank you. but sometime, it would be good just to stay quiet.


staying in a brand new environment, sometimes i do want to cry out. but who do i cry out to? nobody. that day, i sat down and think. i realize that i do not have many friends by my side. sec school girlfriends, i left, poly true friends only jiayi. luo and all stayed put as good friends. when did my life turn out to be so pathetic?

upon living in such a situation, it just drives me more to what i wanna do. i am not cruel, but sometimes i have this thinking in mind " to just leave and do what i want" but firstly, i must be financially independent. that's the important one.

when one really grown up, money does matters a lot, don't they?

have been living in a world of fantasy. i don't know how long this fantasy will last. cos, since it's early stage, it has never stayed for long.

some pictures again!
i saw them with my own eyes!
$1.2million each.
that day my eyes saw a total of $12million worth!





there are others by the side, just that they are in super black and super dark blue colors,my phone flash not that strong. it was a magnifying scene!

personal pictures:
iamproudthatiatebakedbeans;
getridofthefats;

was it my foolishness?
or my stupidity?
it was still left hanging there;
what am i to do?
draw it back or let it fly.
been wanting to just get rid of the bamboo;