jus got rid of an flyin insect.... so scary

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i believe in 10 years time, singapore will change into a better country, i don know why i this feeling, but after i been to vivo city, i can sense the changing in Singapore shopping scene? or am i thinking too much...

vivo city, the modernalise shopping mall, the mall that suits just for everyone, children,teenagers,adults,elderly,female and male... just for everyone. good concept, good design, good ideas... haha... am i paid to help promote vivo city?

recently, i am watching korean drama again, thats "goong (princess hours)". once again, love story, romantic drama..
show how much the guy love the girl, how much the girl love the guy. is always this storyline, but what capture audience to watch it? i guess, is how the different actors express their feelings or their different way of acting.
arranged marriage? is it good or bad? sounds like your destiny has already been planned, you won't need to search for you "crown prince" but he will just appeared before you when the time is right. he might not be the one you like, but as time goes by, you will find that he is jus your "crown prince".
love can be nutured. feelings developed. everything will then slowly fall apart, and fall in the right place.
arranged marriage, why not? ha!

mood swings, what causes mood swings? there must be a cause of mood swings, i hate the cause. ha!
it was never true, it was fake,
i am putting up a fake front to realise that it was true.

happy? no no... sad............
pls pls, go away.....

i don't know what got into me, i cried myself to sleep last night... i really don't understand my own actions, or my reason for doin that, i am confused. is it because of the drama? but it was happy ending........ i think i cried too much that i even dreamt that i cried... i remembered the dream, i cried very terribly, but don know because of what again.... am i bring my real life into my own dream? i don't know....

sometimes, is weird when couple quarrel. old couples still quarrel. because of small things, they quarrel. maybe people will think that, since they are old couple, they will handle situation better, but i think they got it worse.. when people quarrel, they are childish. when people are angry, they dont think normally. these are little things people do wrong when they are not in the right mind. people make mistakes, but most importantly is that you realise your mistakes and don't ever make the same mistake again.

there are so many things i kept cos there is no one to share, once i avoided those fairytale dramas, cos i know i will be too into it...fairytale, which girl doesn't wish for fairytales. but again, is too fake to be true. many a times, you won't know when is the right one coming, you keep on searching, but on the road, you will find some meaning in life, thats the gain you will receive...

is it so diffcult to take up some time? i wonder......
is it too much of a habit? i ponder....
there it is.....i can't find.....

i couldnt get to sleep... why is it that to people, sleeping seems like an easy task, but it was never for me... seems like i have to hoax myself to sleep every night... sleeping is just a difficult task to me... i am sleepy, i want to sleep but i just cant seems to fall asleep, i don understand why... my mental?

has it been too much of a habit? thats why i find it hard to forget? it might be.... it might not be.... i am stuck in a confused state....

browsing through some magazine, i realise sometimes i can learn alot from magazines. things they said, their own point of view, people's point of view, is so different. women should know how to protect themselves, without letting themselves get hurt. i realise i already built a wall surrounding me, protecting me. maybe that is so... once or twice, the wall falls apart, but i built it up slowly again. i hide myself inside the wall.

how come i always only stand a chance to envy people but things often wont happen on me? why do i always let people control my emotions? why do i accomodate people? but then, i did asked for the chance, is it trying to test me? but an old phrase say it, "it oftens take two hands to clap" .

i am amazed at how some people interpret relationships. what is the thing that attract you to that person? what is the feeling that you feel when you know that he/she is the one? how sure are you that you are in love? isn't it interesting to find out all this questions? or is just me that is interested in all this? ha!
LOVE! four heavenly words... this 4 words could make anyone happy! what a magic word! isn't it? just a simple 4 letters words, and anyone could be flyin up in the sky. it is so funny and amusing.
another 4 letters words that will make anyone upset! that is HATE! i HATE you! anyone hears it, he/she will definitely be upset over it. nobody will want to be hate by anyone. HATE is jus the opposite of LOVE! just how amazing words can affect one's emotions.

has it always been misreading too much over some actions?
if that is so,
great,
give a signal
and end it.

confident, with confident you will have the drive to do anything you think you are capable of. but without confident, not only others will look down on you, but you will also look down on yourself. i always know that i am not good, not good enough to be a friend, not good enough to be this, not good enough to be that. i am tired of this feeling. i don wanna be not good enough. so irritating......

my dear fren left town, and i am missing her...........
school is different without her.......................
and i wanna an answer..........

i don believe in birthday wishes, or whatever wishes. cos they always didnt come true. isn't it? my wish always didnt come true, then why in the first place, we have to wish?
every year, a birthday cake,3 wishes. why only 3? why can't i wish for 5? 10? 15? why 3? whats the point in making 3 wishes when they don't come true? makin wishes only make people waiting for the wish to come true... so, it will be like a fool waitin for a wish to come true, when it won't....

does anyone's birthday wish really came true? i want to know.
why do we have to celebrate birthday? to mark the day we were born? it is just tryin to remind us how old we are? isn't that true?

this week has totally been a screwed up week for me. i don believe friday the 13th. people say it is bad, i don believe but i believe it now. cos the entire week was totally screwed up. my fren say, i would be lucky on the friday the 13th, i thought i really will. but i knew from the start, luck is always not with me. thats so funny. so i don believe in lucky things. i am always unlucky.

or is it i complain too much to do anything? i can only complain and still complain non-stop?

but anyway, i still wanna thanks my dearly lovely fren, jiayi, she did make it better. really better. and those who turn up..thank you...
next, of cos to my team-mates. they fought hard in the game. thank you. at least i didnt have a sad birthday. so thank you. we won! but the week was too tired for me to enjoy it. but i appreciate the effort. really. i could feel the effort esp my fren, meijie! thank you. of cos to my loves, team mates. mary, diana,wei,foo and birdy...
but i hope when in the end i made any decision regarding netball, pls don't blame me :)
i really love u guys!
next of cos to those who wished me, greatly appreciated!

i could really sense disater coming, and i hate to deal with that....................

the haze is really bad, i get feel sore throat invading me! i hate that feeling, the feeling is nowhere there, seems like u are getting, but u are not those kinda of feeling. the first time i see singapore been so hazy, too hazy then i feel that all our health will be affected. i would rather stay at home. it terrible.

i made my decision, no matter what i hope my mental will be strong to overcome it. am i always the unlucky one? why people just enter the squad, and they are guarantee a position? but people like us working hard previously are not considered? we are not good enough? i don know. just that i hope i wont change my decision. guess i had enough of 7 years into this. is time for me to relax and enjoy my last semster in school.

i parted with my 2 years phone. i like that phone, but i have to part with it, cos is getting old and i cant keep it with me cos i wont have money to buy a new phone, so my 2 year old phone is gone, everything inside is gone too, i miss my 2 year old phone. though i have a new phone now, something is still missing.
alot of people question me why i want this new phone of mine. but i wanted it long ago, since it was produced, i saw it, i immediately like it. and somemore i wanted to try a flip up phone.
sometimes, you just want to try somethin new, to find that old one is still the best isnt it? haha...

i gave up a small dream of mine, i have always wanted to live and work in another country to learn about their living lifestyle and habits and everything, i was given an opportunity, but my parents disapproved. i was pissed! totally pissed! cos i know i will regret if i didnt go. but i cant go if they disapproved. this is so much of what i wanted! moreover is USA. so much so i would love to go there! i am not going there to play but is to work and travel and play at the same time. i know the worries they have, but i think i am big and sensible enough to know whats bad at least. i lost the chance and i am regretting it. i hate the regret feeling.......maybe i will only understand more when i am a parent myself. but now i just cant simply understand.

i wonder 10 years down the road what will singapore be like? a more modern and hip country? it is pretty interesting how a country can develop to be. is amazing how the changes can be so fast. many things will change. its getting so scary. i wont wanna think about it.

i was watching "the hills" by my beloved Lauren! haha...
she is living the live exactly what i yearn for. don talk about how rich she is. just talk about her current studies, current jobs and her current living town!
she is studyin fashion! -- thats what i want
she is an intern at teen vogue! -- which she can be present at alot of runways and see how the process runs and see know alot of designer and people relating to design!
she is living in san francisco! -- how i wish i could live there to study at the FDIM there!
and receently she was been picked to go Paris for a work assignment! god, isnt that a dream come true?
i envy her! she is living such a nice life doing what she loves, bein with the person who loved her and she is just 20 years old. the same as me, can yoiu believe it. but i am still a nobody here.
the though about it is so irritating.. haha..


i hope this coming 3 weeks will passed soon so that i could get out of there. definitely i will miss the girls. but then like foo said " we cant pleased everyone and we cant pleased ourselves" pretty true, so why not made a decision that i feel comfortable with and they are no lack of defenders! yea.....

i reach the peak of my bloggin, i am stuck in what to blog already. haha..
i should stop for a month to refresh myself.

have been wantin to blog, but then i couldn't find anything to talk about.
life has been the same all the while.
school has started but my timetable jus simply sucks. but it will get worse when my project offically starts. by then i could sense the disaster..


life is so ironical. i just can't seem to understand humans, what they are trying to do? what are they thinking? what is on their mind? i hate it when i don know where i will be heading to? i hate to stand at the crossroad not knowing which directions i should go. i hate to be in this kind of situation always.
things changes when we want it to stay that way, things stay the same when we hope for changes. isn't this funny?

i don know, it seems that i am good at keeping things to myself. is this a habit already? it has never been a habit for me to say things out. sometimes i feel so miserable keeping everything inside, but i got used to my own life. keepin things to myself. only if people strike on my miserable spot, then will i say all my kept feelings out. is this bad or good? i don know. i have this "theory" of my own. i keep this theory to myself.

i have been tryin very hard to be positive, tryin very hard to be as happy as i could, trying very hard to smile and laugh,trying very hard to keep my mind free, but to no means am i able to do all of the above.
sometimes i think i am crazy, cos i always acted like a fool in front of my friends, allow them to call me a fool.. hmm, is this the real me?
isnt all these funny?

why am i still in netball? whahaha...the funniest joke for me of this whole year!

i think i am not a good fren criteria! pls don ask for a fren like me........

some people are just purely lucky for the whole of their life.....
i've watch "the devil wears prada"... don't everyone agree that Andy is jus so lucky to have been chosen for the job? and i know she works real hard to secure her job, but she needs a chance for a breakthrough. and the makeover was extreme wonderful, she became so pretty and stylish. thats so amazing. people with authority can give u a chance or can screw u up. depends on your luck..

"hard work pays off" but they seem that they haven complete the sentence...
"hard work pays off only when you are give a chance to prove your ability"
isnt that true? am i thinking too much?

i don know since when i have start bitching about people behind their back. i know this isnt a good thing. but certain things people do, i just cant stand. so is it right to bitch about people? i think my next greatest hobby is bitching about people...that's so sad.


me and jiayi started our accessories blog.. i am jus alittle impress with myself, cos i never imagine i can do those things.. maybe not many people will fancy those that i did, but to me, it still prove alittle achievements.....
people please help to spread around or pls visit the website itself.
its really nice cool and beautiful!!!

www.lego-noire.blogspot.com