the haze is really bad, i get feel sore throat invading me! i hate that feeling, the feeling is nowhere there, seems like u are getting, but u are not those kinda of feeling. the first time i see singapore been so hazy, too hazy then i feel that all our health will be affected. i would rather stay at home. it terrible.

i made my decision, no matter what i hope my mental will be strong to overcome it. am i always the unlucky one? why people just enter the squad, and they are guarantee a position? but people like us working hard previously are not considered? we are not good enough? i don know. just that i hope i wont change my decision. guess i had enough of 7 years into this. is time for me to relax and enjoy my last semster in school.

i parted with my 2 years phone. i like that phone, but i have to part with it, cos is getting old and i cant keep it with me cos i wont have money to buy a new phone, so my 2 year old phone is gone, everything inside is gone too, i miss my 2 year old phone. though i have a new phone now, something is still missing.
alot of people question me why i want this new phone of mine. but i wanted it long ago, since it was produced, i saw it, i immediately like it. and somemore i wanted to try a flip up phone.
sometimes, you just want to try somethin new, to find that old one is still the best isnt it? haha...

i gave up a small dream of mine, i have always wanted to live and work in another country to learn about their living lifestyle and habits and everything, i was given an opportunity, but my parents disapproved. i was pissed! totally pissed! cos i know i will regret if i didnt go. but i cant go if they disapproved. this is so much of what i wanted! moreover is USA. so much so i would love to go there! i am not going there to play but is to work and travel and play at the same time. i know the worries they have, but i think i am big and sensible enough to know whats bad at least. i lost the chance and i am regretting it. i hate the regret feeling.......maybe i will only understand more when i am a parent myself. but now i just cant simply understand.

i wonder 10 years down the road what will singapore be like? a more modern and hip country? it is pretty interesting how a country can develop to be. is amazing how the changes can be so fast. many things will change. its getting so scary. i wont wanna think about it.

i was watching "the hills" by my beloved Lauren! haha...
she is living the live exactly what i yearn for. don talk about how rich she is. just talk about her current studies, current jobs and her current living town!
she is studyin fashion! -- thats what i want
she is an intern at teen vogue! -- which she can be present at alot of runways and see how the process runs and see know alot of designer and people relating to design!
she is living in san francisco! -- how i wish i could live there to study at the FDIM there!
and receently she was been picked to go Paris for a work assignment! god, isnt that a dream come true?
i envy her! she is living such a nice life doing what she loves, bein with the person who loved her and she is just 20 years old. the same as me, can yoiu believe it. but i am still a nobody here.
the though about it is so irritating.. haha..


i hope this coming 3 weeks will passed soon so that i could get out of there. definitely i will miss the girls. but then like foo said " we cant pleased everyone and we cant pleased ourselves" pretty true, so why not made a decision that i feel comfortable with and they are no lack of defenders! yea.....

i reach the peak of my bloggin, i am stuck in what to blog already. haha..
i should stop for a month to refresh myself.