my cousin recently told me something that i never want to admit. she mention that i am very easily influenced. be it surroundings,people,celebrities,dramas. she remembered that there was once like 3 years ago, i was very quiet and don feel like talking. did i? i thought i was always the sunshine... ha .. ha.. ha..
anyway,she did mention some good points that i never realise it at all. things we cant put down, or we keep thinking we cant put down... i told her, you never know until a new one comes by. but she say, no sometimes even if ta new one comes by, u still wont kknow whether u put down.. although the best solution isnt this but she suggest avoids for a long time.. don think bout things u cant put down, use that concentration you had on the thing and put it on other thin..studies?work? or evjust other stuffs... who doenst know this? is always easy to say,hard to do.. isnt it?
there must always be reasons for things you cant put down, cant give up...ur determination to find the answer? your will to perseve till the end might be all the reasons for all the stubborness for not leting go.. isnt it?
though attachment is taking me 4 months, but during this 4 months, i realise alot of things.. things that i shouldnt do or things i should do.. from sec 5 i already had a wrong mindset about education.. i wasted 3 years to realise my dream, and i waste 3 years school fees to realise my dream..w what a waste and rubbish i am doing...
if upon my graduation, i set into society and work, working some jobs that i dont like, then what am i living for? i guess i am self-fish. thinking of myself and what i want to do.. but isnt this the reason for people ? to do things you love? now i found something i like, but i cant pursue... who says money cant make wonders? money can make me wonder with studies...with money, i can get out of singapore and study overseas and study the course i like.. i know it is rude for me to say all this, but i cant deny that this is the fact...
thinking of my life after graduation, study? working? if i were to start working then i gues my life will be damm sad... drowning with a pile of admin works, bored to hell, and wearing formal wears.....what is this? i dont want this kind of life.. my other half part of life is already pathetic enough..how come my education life cant be better? can it be? will it be?i will be hopeful....
am i really such an easily influence person? am i?