i am felt with mixed feelings right now... so many things that affect my emotions today... sometimes i feel that i am a horrible person...i can change mood jus like a click..

i am glad that i was being appreciated during work which gave me some confidence....

anyway, i am starting to ponder again..the committment i used to have for netball...will it still stays on? seriously in a super dilemma now...though i have gone back for training, but it seems that i feel time is hard to pass....should it be like "wahz...is 9 already, so fast" but it doesnt seems this way, i think i don enjoy playing netball anymore? though my relations with them arent good, but i don feel left out.. i am fine being alone or whatsoever, but it like i am waiting for time to pass...why am i back again? i thought it was the passion for the game, i thought was the love for the sports...but now, i think likewise...what is wrong with me? is this what i want? or should i jus continue being the last year in poly? i want to have fun while training, but i just couldnt... what should i do? i need advise......


great, a change of drastic mood..i was being so bitchy and hyper when i went to my cousin house....super "3 8"...god...is this really me? but what a nice house and decoration..everyday after a hard work, return to a comfy house...thats sound so nice....isnt it? in the comfy house, u see things u love, u see the hard work u put inside and living in the cosy house with someone u wish to spend ur life with...isnt that great.... hmm..i guess i got the criteria to be a fairytale writer, cos everythin i wish for happy everafter...

i know drama love doesnt exist in real life, but they are too much for drama, so much so i always wish to be the main actress inside....drama love is full of fantasy and full of dreams and expectations... you put in effort the other got touched...everythin will then slowly fall in place... living happily ever after...
the drama love is so full of sparks and life...u can feel how much they love each other, u can feel the happines among them..so shold i praise them as good actors? ha ha ......

mono life....waking up,goin to work,starin in front of the laptop,waitin for break,goin back staring at the laptop and leave work... i will be in this kind of life for like 3 months more...god..who can stand it man....

i really really understand reality world is so different..i guess i am still a kid...