dreams

dreams..i bet alot of people have their own dream..what they want to become? what they want..they dream the things they love..i dream..but i also day dream...people have practical dreams...their dreams are something they are working towards for...thats can also be describe as their goal in life.. but as for me..what is my dream? what is my goal in life?
i guess i haven found it..been pretty depressed about it...now i admire those who have their dream..at least they konw what they are working towards..but what about me? i know nuts...people say"dreams, we can always go and find our own dreams" of cos i understand we can always find our dreams...it isnt that i dont have dreams..but my dreams are
1) how i wish i am a singer
2) i wanna be a pilot
3) wahz ..i wanna act
4) i wanna be a famous person
5) i wanna be a carrer woman
i wanna puke when i wrote all these...what are they? freaking ridiculous...of cos i yearn for a wonderful life..i want to do things i love to do..but due to circumstances issues, not everything i want i can pursue...what i want to be..i must be the best to be outstanding for the dream of my job..but i konw i cant do it...many have things they wanna do, goals they working for,but when i think of myself, what a pathetic soul... i don know what i want..that is sad..i am depressed...what do i want to achieve in life?
what if one day, someone ask me " hey so what u want to do in life"
great...i have no answers to that...i cant answer what i want to do in life...i know alot of things i don have confidence in...

what if one day someone ask me" so what are u good at?"
god...i am not good at anything...how can i answer...or should i say " is watching tv something to be consider good at?" F**K i don think so....

i think my life is so miserable have not understanding what i want to do....what are my goals...in secondary school, teacher always asked " so tell me what is your goal in life" for the sake of being able to give teacher an answer... i will tell teacher " oh..i wanna be a career woman.." or i will say " i wanna be a teacher" gosh..everyone has that dream...whats so fantastic about mine? they are jus the sake of answering questions in a way that i wont embrassed myself.... now i know the importance of having goals in life...having knowing what you are doing or what you wanna do in life, will let u enjoy your live..because you are working towards something and doing things you love...

i hate myself for not able to know what i want and to do what i want..i want to achieve something...

i want to study fashion..but am i capable of doing that..i wasted 3 years in poly to realise i have no goals in life..i don wish to waste another 3 years down to road to realise that isnt my goal..3 years might seems short of a girl..but how long am i able to live...is unpredictable..time is precious i konw...sometimes i understand the good points of somethings...

my life is freaking in a mess and having nothing to work for..F**K......................................................


people might think " come on why get so fuss up because you don know what u want to do" but this simple thing means alot to me...i want to live for something i love to do..i want to do someting i love..but whats wrong with me? i have no idea...

is it a period of depression? i guess so... i have no goal in life....




training wasnt good...so i asked myself again, is this what i really want? or am i pleasing jus to have an happy ending? or is it that i don want to have regrets in my life anymore...
i was thinking it was the last year anyway, so why don i just go back training and have a happy ending...but i am not happy at all...i thought passion would overcome emotions but i was wrong...

i have no idea whats wrong with me? i jus feel like being alone .... entertaining is so tiring... i am tired of my life.........