i was about to go to bed...but i am really vexed and bothered by something..damm freaking bothered...is netball...

this time i don know what is really stopping me from going back to playing netball...it is really my favourite sports..i love it so much that i really want to keep playing it..but this time, i seriously have no idea why i am so determine about not going back? i seriously don know..i know she has been trying to get me back to training...have tried very hard to persuade me... i have no idea why this time i am so firm bout it... maybe is not a tiny winny thing that has been stopping me..cos if it were to be a tiny winny thing that stopped me...she need not even persuade me, i will go back for training..but this time no matter what she says, my mind never really has the firm YES I WANT TO GO BACK AGAIN!! why didnt i? i am so bothered by it until i couldnt sleep..

small things holding me back to go for training tml..
i am having attachment when training really resume with a coach...i ends at 6.00...trainin starts at 6.30...what if i have OT to do...and i cant go back for training..it will mean i will miss out one training..and one training is important..one training can do alot of thing...then what if i am too tired and lethargic to go back for training? i scared tireness will overcome netball...i have alot of what if in my mind..what if same thing happen again? then whats the point of me goin back...

but if i don go back for training, it will means no more netball for life..cos i will lost touch with it, and lost contact with it...i wont get to play netball anymore...everything..the training and everything..

what am i to do? i seriously need very good and wise advise..this time it seems like i cant make a decision myself...

should i or shouldnt i? DAMM!!