words that are difficult to say

i have jus posted a lyrics Deep and Meaningless on my previous post...it is a very meaningful lyrics..and i think it tells alot of many people who are feelin troubled in some kind of relationship problems..i like this song..

i seems to be too occupied for myself and haven been spendin time with my friends..too occupied for myself...guess i worked non stop..cos holiday are jus plain borin..nothin much to do..but i think i will meet jiayi and cher up this weekend..guess we've got alot to catch up..seriously missin them...come to think bout it now, i think my life is damm pathetic..see, if i am havin holiday i do nothin but work..what a no life kid i am..damm..been thinkin alot recently though,
what have i achieved in poly?
what have i done?
but always no answers return..i feel that this 3 years in poly gona be a waste...why didnt i study harder to earn myself a place in any JC then to Uni...wahz...why i never had this kinda of dream before...where all my other dreams are unrealistic and i can say is ridiculous dreams..what the hell did i really did for the past 20 years? live my life off.. my friends are doin what they like and what they want..but what bout me?
i am jus doin a stupid course that will ends me up no where..what am i gona do for my future..i see BLANK!! god..what is my life man..
what cher say is correct, things start flowin when u are alone..
think like one hell lots recently..always have sleepless nights, i cant stand it..i don wanna have sleepless night..i have been havin hot temper recently..god..what am i really doin with my life..pathetic..doin all the unnecessary things..

if i could turn back time, i would have study hard to earn myself a place in JC, and study my ass off for As, then study my head off in Uni...maybe all this might be bullshit for me... what if i gain a Uni cert but in the end still earn myself no where in the society, then wont i be back at where i am now? bullshit ....why am i thinkin so much when i shold move on,
why i think so much?
did i overthink ?
did u guys think as much too?
or am i abnormal?
i don like myself for thinkin so much..


always wanted to be that brave,darin girl with attitude, but this expressions could never be used on me...
brave? bullshit....actin brave only...
daring? ass... don even dare to ask somethin i want to know
attitude? ya right..bad attitude u mean...
god...what am i man?
20 years of my life...it might be half of my whole life...why can i live it more meaningfully..
Damm! i always only know how to say...but never do it...
shit damm...

my friend is troubled yet she kept it to herself,
felt so terrible when i could do nothin,
wonder whether she will be fine..
we will stand by her...

i am sleepy but afraid the moment i lie on my bed i will have sleepless night again............................................