ooo..caramel is so not herself..what happen? she got no ideas about it..she jus know that she isnt herself..behavin strangely...keepin quiet when normally she is so talkative...not really laughin out from her heart...suddenly..sometimes she likes to be alone..she feels that what she do leads her to no direction..she has no idea where she is headin to..no idea what path will she end up with...she wants to know some answer..but the courage isnt there...jus like one of her fren told her before.."there must be somethin botherin u..if not u wont behave like that."and caramel believe so...there is something botherin her..but she knows part of it..but the other part of it..she has to search it find it and solve it..she has to..but she got no idea where to start...she feel crappy and shitty..knowing nothin about her own life..what is she excatly livin for? jus livin for...sleep,goin sch,hang out with frens eat and sleep again..what the hell kind of life is she leadin...Crappy...Sucky...maybe she hopes to do somethin big...but no idea what...but for now..maybe what she can really do is to enjoy her life...and one thing she hate about herself so so so much is that she thinks alot..damm alot...trust her..she can really think alot..sometimes she wonder whether are there any other people who thinks so much like her..she really thinks that she is always thinkin alot...really...sometimes she will pull herself to a high place and end up fallin..thats what sometime she deserve it...yar...and she really hope someone will come and brighten up her life..haiz..so much of thinkin end up only misery that falls upon her...what the hell is she tryin to do with her life..she got no idea...she loves her frens..and wants them to be happy..but she found out the irony thing is that...things always happen the opposite side..she don know is she givin too much as a fren..SEE...she is thinkin alot right? hahaa....anyway,weekends are endin...but caramel still have tons and tons of things to do...no rest for her..anyway,she had a tired week..it never get better... and some things kept her thinkin and thinkin throughout the week...things said keep goin thru in her mind..tryin to figure out what it means..tryin to think it straight..tryin not to be over sensitive..tryin to hide...tryin to stop herself..tryin hard...she knows she can do it..stopin anythin from happenin..although she yearn for it but she dont have the courage to make it happen..cos she knows the chances arent high..she is jus coward u all should say...but she doesnt blame herslef..thats jus her..and she realise this whole week she isnt happy..she isnt really smilin..she is back to her past...she is back to her past..really alittle back to her past...she doesnt know what she is thinkin and what she is doing..she jus hope that she could stop thinkin too much..whenever she is alone she thinks superb alot..haiz..she hope she could jus take out her brain and let her mind rest..hahahhaha..what logic is that? hahhaha..anyway,she jus hope everyone will be happy...yar..and there is soemthin she is afriad that will happen again...cos she wouldnt want to take back her words again................

wanted to blog on friday..but somehow there is some problem with blogspot..thats why i couldnt blog..haiz..nvm...cos on friday she got a COLLAGE assignment to hand up..and Her workpiece SUCKS..haiz..really sucks to the core...was disappointed in myself..and i chiong all night to finish up the collage and the report..oh ya...on thurs we had trainin..it wasnt really tiring..and i feel happy for marianna..heheheh..really...and me mj,brandon,wei and kenny went for dinner after that..yar..and thanks to kenny's crap.....i was talkin and smilin.....hahahha..he sure can talk alot...hahahha...yar...and on fri my best fren jiayi is workin....girl know u wil be tired..but all the way..hehe..JIAYOU..hahha..

then today we had daisy tan carnival...serious speakin..i must say that we played farely well todya.s.erious..i was quite surprised that i intercept balls..and defended some not bad move and balls..ehhee..yar..cos i wasnt myself today..i let out my tempered which was so unusual of me ah...yar..haiz...anyhway....i jus want to play more netball...HEHEHE...and tml got poly 50 runnin..ARGH..my leg is spoilt..hahhahah..

Hope ppl affected by the tsunami incident will stand up soon...will be fine soon..hope everythin will be the same again... -PEACE--

Tired of myself,
Tired for myself.
Feelin low..
feelin down...
who cares
who bothers...
i am left alone to care for myself..
but i can do nothin to help myself...'
but wait...............................................................

tired--exhausted--sleepy Chunpei --sigin off---