haiyo..everytime watchin that show..caramel will get so touched...but somehow everytime after watchin that show..she learned somethin about life...life is fragile..u never know when u wil be the next to go away from this earth...she saw how affected those loved ones are when he/she goes..she could also feel the heartache they felt...is true..it showed..ppl always say"Hao Ren You Hao Pao" means u will gain if u do a deed...but somehow no matter in real life or shows this doesnt shows at all...is always the good people suffering...then why bother be good? doin many good deeds..helpin people but in the end still have to facec death earlier and sufferings...But she admired that passion and spirit of this dying girl...her never give up attitude..her strong willed to live...yar..she is correct..i rather do somethin then wastin my time lyin on the bed waiting for death....and really treasure every moment given to you...every seconds that u were granted...is not everyone is given so much time as caramel had..if she was unlucky she might not be here writin all this...so somehow she is also glad that she is given so much time to see this world...to see so many things..and understand things...she did come thru...why would her emotions be controlled? how could somehow controlled her emotions? it should be she herself controllin her emotions..she should be happy and happy...maybe the only reason she isnt happy is 'What is she livin for?" she have yet to find any answer..maybe if there is the reason, she will be happier....yupz..and the show really insipred her alot...saw how precious life is, saw how ppl are willin to save a life to sacrifice his own life..saw how selfless ppl are...saw how helpful friends could be...saw how big responsiblity pilot have to take...why is caramel still grumblin about her life when is cant be any perfect..she should learn more about life...learn more bout how she could help..maybe this is better? and she promise to be happy and happy!! :) no more grumpy!!!

yupz..today i werent happy...never smile in this single day...i was myself..but found no meanin, energy to fake out a smile...sorry..i know jiayi and cher have been askin me this mornin..but i don know..i don feel like talking..jus remainin silence....things are in my mind..and i have to stop it..and i know that i could do it now after watchin that show..Jiayi asked me a question today...and if she asked me one month later..maybe my answer will be a NO! a definite NO!! yar...and today suppose to be hyper and happy..cos is TUE!! but i arent...cos we always disturb JOE and Cher..but today JOe never sit with us..and i arent in the mood to disturb or tease anyone...maybe plus i am tired..but i will never be like this again..cos i straighten out my thoughts..and i think it over and over...why? why? is always like that..i am tired of it ready..havin no endin in the end..so whats the point right? yupz..so why make myself miserable over somethin...i should jus have a bigger picture of it...dont i? i need to grow up..i need to think more mature..i need to do jus that...yupz..and i have one poster assignment due this friday...argh..have the ideas..but is like is TEACHER's ideas again..i mean part of it lahz..haiz...
nose is so itchin and sneezin all the way..argh....hahhah..need to buck up and study also ..although no exams..but i have to...don wish to retain..and i think i wil be happyh tml..cos got Mr fighter to watch..hahhahahha..yeap...and tml got netballl..yeah...okok...

nose red....sleepy Chunpei signin off....