bloggin here now...little anger in me!!okie..first..sheena:"frens don revenge" so what does that mean? revenge? i doin somethin? what i did?okie.. I'VE CHANGED!yah..thats right..not gona deny that anymore..cos in the first place i deny that i changed cos i was cursin and swearin about ahmad's changed...so i didnt want anyone to noticee my changed as well...cos i once wonder "why ppl changed jus like that?" no...i wont wonder and dont think anymore..cos i found the answer myself...i experience the changed myself...ya...changes..changed!! maybe i was too navie in the past? i think so...maybe i dont even know myself well...or maybe i realise somethin else? realise somethin better? realise somethin bad? i don know...maybe this things doesnt really happen only after my hongkong trip..but it happen even before that..thats what i feel...jus that i dont show...cos i was happy for u then..nothin else to bother about...but eversince the trip i realise somethin more...i realise actually i am too particular in thinkin and doin somethin..cos some things can be done flexibly...is like i lock myself at one corner and doesnt explore enuff..but eversince this trip..i realise alot alot alot of things...some things that i hold on to it so much that i cant bear to let go..i was so so into malay community that i once see chinese as .......ar...............but i was wrong..was i blinded by somethin?but until i meet meijie,nette,yenwei,kim,victor,brandon,small daniel,ryan,yonghua,xiao ben and kenny and the sports club ppl...hahha...one gang of prankster...i never had so much funn with chinese gang except luo,kyeo,vin and bao and cher and jiayi...i am serious here..ya..i thought i cant click with chinese much..and always seems so interested in makin malay frens..but is bcos i never bother to go and make frens with them and be frens and have fun..thats why i am missin out so much..i am not being racis here...but i am speakin somethin out from my heart..jus like the past..i so so so much wished to go back to sec sch..jus sec 5B will do...jus that...and bcos of this i hate poly so much..i hate poly life so much..i hate poly ppl so much...but after lettin it go...i see a bigger picture..actually poly can be fun i guess...yar..right peeps??ehehehe...yar...and sheena are u referrin to me in ur blog..i guess there arent second person which u are referrin to...guess is me then...told u i am givin attitude...okie..thanks for the patience..and thanks for regardin me as ur fren..thanks for everythin..really thanks..but i jus cant stop givin this attitude..maybe can ask ahmad this question...am i the second ahmad? or worst then him? i think i am worst...ya..cos i once thought of gettin out from the group..yar..i don know..u were so angry in ur blog..yar...i am the one..givin attitude problem...stupid attitude...i don know..maybe this is some thin hidin in me...i admit i dont tell u my problems...i admit that i am givin attitude...i admit that i am goin back on my words..ya..goin back on my words...so many...sorry is the only word to say...

i don know..i jus feel so free..so so so free while i was in hongkong...i was always havin so much things on my mind...while in singapore..i have things like WORK,FRIENDS,SCH and many other things else...so i enjoy the free feelin while i was there...i have nothin to worry about..nothin to think about...i only think about the ppl that was in hongkong with me..i only think abuot the thing that happen in hongkong.."What is goin on in singapore?" this question only popped out of my mind once..jus oncee...i wasnt carin much either..am i heartless? i don know...i thought my heart was numb but once again i was filled with feelin and emotional again...
sense ur unhappiness after the show we watch on thur...but never asked...cos maybe i know the reason is bcos of me or is bcos of him? i don know...are u so afraid on goin back on ur words? what so bad and wrong abuot goin back on ur words when certain important feelin or things are concerned...but maybe promise will always be a promise...but dont u think a promise is make to be broken...maybe i am so wrong here..maybe i am...
maybe i was never a good person..maybe i was never...i am bad..
u went offline after tellin me things yesterday...i never call u or msg u...i never asked u about it today..cos maybe i shouldnt comment much on this matter...sorry of no help...maybe i should jus stay away right?stayin away like what ahmad did..but maybe i wont be like ahmad comin back...u have good frens around u..jus like what ahmad told me..i have good frens around me...so i am so much certain u have more...so i guess i will jus stay away...don bother about me!! i will be fine..thanks for the patience..yupz..
and today thought will be a fun and happy day..but it didnt turn out that way i thought..funny things today doesnt seem funny to me...and i woke up late in the mornin..have to get back to DUNMAN SEC to play netball..then woke up at 8.30 when i supposed to be in sch at 9...Oh GOSH..so late..take a quick bath..then lucky the night before i packed my stuffs..so took my bag..and went off..wanted to hired a cab..wahz..what a luck..no cab in sight..all are either being on call or hired!!ARGH!!waitied for half an hour..then took bus...in the end i took bus to sch..wanted to take cab cos i hate the journey..i hate the bus stop that i alighted..yupz..then reach sch..disappointed..cos rainin...nothin much though..never play much..alittle here..alittle there..cos everytime we want to play..it rains..ahhah..and my shootin is superb accurate today sehz!!Applause for me!!hahhah...okie..then i got the dunman netball shirtt..buy it from mr teo...so long never see mr teo..so long never hear him shout..was afraid of his shoutin ..but now missed it..haha..missed my juniors...all so fun..and why shyuan and huiqi isnt there...haiyo..yupz..missed them..then i never walked passed my classroom..never walked passed everythin...jus the canteen..nothin changed much..somehow it seems like the canteen is so quiet..unlike the one i hear last time...haah..yupz..then went to meet meijie,nette and diana...then yen wei came after that..we went shoppin..but funny..ended up seein the fearless 5 basketball thingy...ahah...funny..then we went to shop awhile and eat..then went back to watch again..cos got hte basketball guys playin who went to hongkong with us..yupz..then while waitin for them to play..i don think i wanna stay there..so i went off myself to the kino bookstore and see magazine..seventeen..soccer mag...hahaha..then i bought a storybook which is somehow like the movie 13 goin 30...and a soccer mag..ahhahah...not bad..then after taht...watched finished the match..then we went hereen...then after taht i saw this cap..OH GOSH!! is orange plus brown in color...THATS ME!! ORANGE!! superb nice..needless to say..i bought it!!hahah..at the flash and splash shop..then we shop shop...then saw alot of nice things..haha...but no money..seriously no money to get it..then later my dad fetched me..then off home i go...haiz..reach home so early today..haiz..so bored..no shows..nothin to do...online..nothin much to do too...and today they got supper at night..but i am not goin..cos is so late..and cos my girls gang no one is goin..hahha..yupz..miss out the fun i guess..haha...oh yeah...jiayi..and cher..miss u guys..hahaha..
and today also in a dilemma whether to join the clubs..i am more to the other club rather than my previous one..jus don know hwo to break it to my coach..haiz..ARGH!! how come!! aiyoz...don know..so many things..haha.....and i am losin my voice...hahha..think i gona be sick..and i certainly also hope that i wil be sick..ahaha...