he amazed me once again. it truly tells that never judge a book by its cover and i got another insights which is never comment on the contents until you finished the whole book. I believe i only finished reading 1 chapter of him but there are like 12 more chapters for me to continue reading. However, i will not be able to finish this 12 chapters, because this book cannot be loan out of the library and there is the one and only book. I will never have a chance to finish that 12 chapters. 

Today, i took a preview of chapter 2 & 3 and find it very interesting to continue reading but like i said, it is a book that is not for loan. i could only get previews of it and will never have a chance to finish it. However, the preview for chapter 2 & 3 was so in-depth that instantly it made me realize a lot of things.

I have always been wanting to be able to share what i have gained in my life, what i have learned in my life to anybody, hoping that it will help them in someway. Ultimately, the small part in me wish to have something in return, like "thank you, you are the person that i will never forget" blah blah shits. But, in his preview, i saw another light. He willingly gave all he has and never asked for anything in return and even put the blame on himself if things goes wrong. I find it very interesting that when things go wrong, some people will put the blame on themselves instead of pushing it to the others. Sometimes, things are just not in your control and having giving out your best is the only thing you can assure yourself and credit yourself and not keep putting the blame on yourself. It is not easy to hypnotize yourself to do this. Whenever, i want to put the blame to other knowing outright that i am not at fault, sometimes i just can't help but to blame myself. if only i did this, if only i have done that, then problems will not happen. You took the blame to push yourself harder and set a higher expectations for yourself. 

Another preview teach me that again as i have once mentioned, nobody is so generous to share whatever they have gained in life. but for those who does, is because they hope that they are able to help people who needed help and not to fall in the same shoes as they did. They walked the longer way to where they are now and do not want to see potential people taking such a long road like they did. They hope they could save this people from some long walks and give them directions to go a shorter way. I truly admire them as only with vast experience you are able to do so. Without them, no matter how much you want to give, how much you wish you can share, it will not lead the people in need a shortcut road. 

This enlightened me to really share when i have more experiences and knowledge and not share because i want to do so. As, it might lead them a failed route having not being able to reach their ending point. Share only when you can and not when you want! We have a common point which is sharing and we never choose the person to share. Whether they are willing to hear or not willing to, we will share, as we feel that there are some things that they ought to know in life. It is really up to individual to restructure their thinking mind, decisions and actions. 

Suddenly, i have a goal in mind. I am giving myself another 2 years and within this 2 years i will gained as much knowledge and experiences i can. If i cannot find a reason to stay in Singapore within this 2 years, i will go!