i believe i lost it.... 

i lost the drive to work, lost the motivation to improve myself. Now, it seems like i am nobody anymore. how come, this kind of feelings comes and goes? interesting. some months back, i was still driven to work hard but it seems like all has died. it could be the bad global gloomy news affecting or it may be otherwise. a news article, reported that many in their late 20s and early 40s seek consultation as they are suffering from depression from the global recession economy. imagine falling from the top to nothing, that is quite a tough hurdle to overcome. be it mentally or physically. you have to keep telling yourself that you are capable and have the ability to work, however, global economy is the killer, leaving many jobless. this are very sad cases that humans are suffering from depression and out of job. overcoming and wining the battle should be the mission statement all of us should look forward to. if everyone was to turn in despair, what will the world becomes? Nothing! Zero! 

recently, i have started writing my diary that  neglected for a good whole year. it isnt a daily entry kinda of stuffs, but to keep me reminded of things. suddenly, i felt as if i lost all my feelings. feelings to love ( friends & family ), feeling to be touched, feeling that ... just simple lost all my feelings. perhaps, i have got the "there are no friends in this world" syndrome. i think there is a high possibility.  i tend not to treasure friends that much and can do or do without them. Oh God! but perhaps, i am learning to depend on myself and not others? because in this world, there is no one else you could trust but only you yourself. 

And again, this time of the year, i am saying it again, i want to leave. i want to venture. i want to look out. i want to do things i like. i want to have my favorite things surrounding me. i want... i want... alright, whatever. 

Recently, i am so into listening to Kenji Wu's Song. i shall post an entry with all his songs lyrics. talented man! cool boy!