gwen.andherself: July 2007

Sunday, July 22, 2007

sometimes i wish i was brave enough........

another has passed yet i am still stuck there. there are so many things that make me think alot. my mind has never stopped for a second. even in my dreams, i am still dreaming what i am thinking. funny right? but that's just life for me isn't it? no matter how much i wish my life would be like "Lauren Conrad", how much i wish i could be her, how much i wish i am just like her, that's impossible cos i am just fated to be what i am and who i am. i am still thinking where i am heading to. and i know i am still into fashion. really wanna start kicking off with that. i had enough of bearing and patience.

can you ever stand a "twin" like you? i can't! bloody can't!! haha......i miss the times i am always with jiayi.....sometimes, i could understand why Singaporeans are getting away from their own country. cos no sense of belonging? maybe...cos i remembered since i was in primary school i was taught that we should have a sense of belonging to our country. we are taught to do that, but still there isn't any sense of belonging, or is it just only me? to say the truth, felt a little embrassed being a Singaporean. cos we are always remembered for our bad behavior, our bad attitude. how kiasu singaporeans are, how calculative singaporean are. that's why, i am just barely 21 and badly want to get out of here.... how could i still survive another 10 years down the road? ha! relax, i am just being exaggerating. but, just like every family have their own problems, every country have their own problems too. like me choose the country i wanna live in, if i were given a chance. i would go for...............Los Angeles.

i felt such a loser to be like this now...hahahah......freaking loser......
alright, i shall stop here.....
hmm., another sad week coming..............i hate it.....

pictures to share....

Event: Baolong's 21st celebration

the beautiful wine glass;

the group shot;

they bully me!

this monster fellow;

one moment try to kiss me;

the other moment wanna eat me! HELP!!

haha, that was baolong 21st birthday celebration. should have posted long ago...

Event : Kenneth 21st birthday celebration.

let's join in the fun!

stupid joel!!

i think i can send this picture for competition!!
hahaha!! but it was a nice shot!

alright, kyeo's birthday celebration.... he went army le...haiz...nobody to share the following burden with!! hahahaha......

alright, next my pictures!!

please tell me what to do?

just trying to be cheeky!

i s t hat a n an sw er ?
o r a qu e sti on?
wi ll i kno w in t he e nd?
i do n wa nt to s it i nto th e que s tio n
i do n' t w an t to be a f ool ag ai n........

Sunday, July 15, 2007

i have got plenty to write. so many to write till i don't know where to start.
i've got a pretty close friend, went to Australia to study. it was a very sudden decision me to know that she is going off in a week's time. but i am happy that she finally made a good decision which i hope it will be. i met her for dinner last tuesday with the rest of my ex-netball mates. then i realise something. going further studies seems like the coolest thing everyone would like to do. but it may be the hardest thing as well. it seems easy to just go and study but it may be the most difficult thing to do. it may seem like the simplest decision to make but it may be the toughest to decide. cos, upon seeing her, i realise that leaving this familiar country of yours to go to another stranger country feels alittle scary. the thought of everything there is so different might just scared me off. the thought of dumping everything here... friends, family and loved ones (if u have) is really not easy. i have been saying how much i wish to leave this place, how much i wish i wanna go oversea to study, how much i just wanna get out of this place. but everything isn't as simple as i thought i could do it. but i hope the best for her, and really hope she take care of herself. friends are always around her listening to her problems.

anyway, yesterday while at work, i think to myself. would someone rather go to a run-down country and be the rich man there? or would someone rather go to a high-standard of living country but to be a poor lad there? if were you, which would you choose?

and i hate the month of july. too many partings!! my fren left for australia, kenneth left for army, baolong going for army.....haiz, the thought of everyone leaving is so sad!
we have all grown up. met up with luo and others for the celebration of kenneth's bday, ended talking about marriage. that's sound so weird and funny... we are barely reaching 21, and talking about marriage. but i am glad that we are friends for so long. being through the struggling and happy times. there were fun times, and stupid times. but everything became memories to be kept and remembered.

yesterday,had a good dinner!

i am starting to worry about my future, i really wanna be what i wanna be, do what i wanna do. however, the circumstances and the surroundings around me is just too pressurizing for me to trust myself that i can do it or even to have confident in myself to succeed. money money. why the hell is money the whole root of the problem! but i wish i can do it!

idonknowthethinganymore;
maybeyoucanreallyleadmetotheanswer;
isthattrueorijustjumpintoitmyself?;
manymanyunanswered;