sometime i wish to admit the fact...

it seems that nowadays, it's been hard for me to write some stuffs here. i thought i should give it a try today.

in the past, whenever i've been to some places i will love to keep many many pictures as memories. but, in this past few trips, i didn't manage to do so. maybe that place is no longer new to me. that's the country that i have been there almost every year and still turn out to be my favorite country. everytime when i go away i will come back with a heavy heart. but it seldom happen already. i think i am starting to see a clearer picture of myself. starting to understand myself more. i know i won't want to do stupid things to hurt myself and deprive myself to be happy. everything is predestined like she said which i totally agree. you can't fight fate but you'll have to welcome fate with big arms. there are things we can control, but certainly there are things we can't control. we always think heaven is unfair, but in some point of view heaven is equally fair. it's really up to individual to judge on a particular event.

sometimes things can be that easy, however is just that we are not open up to many channels that narrowed our mind up. when the mind is shut to only one channels that's when a person fails to see opportunities in other channels. which might turn out to be a faster and better way in solving the problem or thinking things through. i am enlightened.

Do believe "what comes around goes around". just remembered clearly that today you hurt that him/her, remembered that. some time down, you will have a taste of what you did.

trekking is really a good form of workout and a process where you are surrounded by natural environment. everything around you will be so calm and quiet. it will be a good time to think through what bothers you alot or to just relax yourself. things are never tough if you've tried you best. enriching journey.


Victor 21st bash.

been sometime since i saw them. had fun!

sometimes i just wished 'godness'

godness, cause it has been really a long long time since i post any entries here. it has been a long long time since i have the mood to write long-winded stories. but today, i thought i should come by and just say hello to people. but is there anyone? ha.

its been a year, yet i still hasn't settled down. its been half a year since everything went back to the same. i saw alot down the miserable life. yet, i still didn't learn any lesson. i really thought things will be just better and better for me. but just once you think you are on the top of the world, the next moment u are upside down. it's really like riding a roller coaster ride. no one will love being hanging up there for so long, though u will feel safer when u are down, but u feel no excitement.
i just finished a book "the five people you will meet in heaven"
then i thought bout mine. who will be the 5 people i will meet up there? i wonder. they might be people that just brushed through me along the roads, but then i might make an impact in their life? do people i dearly love the most? or some well-known fashion designers. okay, this book doesn't teach people to imagine who they will meet. but every person teach every little different things. which i think all very just very close to us and happened everyday just that we don't take notice of them. so, i guess cherish the family,people,friends and everything u have.

people are just so funny. when they don't need you they will be out of your life. when they need some concern, they will come looking for you and pretend to be so concern about you, give you one hell of unnecessary talks that they think they know you so well. the time when people lose contact, so much can change. a person is able to change instantly. like me, everyone notice my change. everyone said i changed. well, i agree to it. i changed. no longer like before. where nothing seems to worry me, where i think friends are just my everything, where i think fun is what have to be around . now, this are no longer the same. everything is just vice versa. i just seems to be anxious and worry for everything little thing. i think 1 best friend is really enough, but acquaintances must have many. now i think a goal in life is the pushing perk to keep me moving on.

anyway, i was thinking since i like to read magazines and love fashion so much, i think i should do a fashion blog . maybe i can start thinking about it. will post the webbie once i have the time to do it. -- under construction --

sometimes i wish to just be able to excel on the job i love.

oright, in one shot,

Happy New Year,

Happy Chinese Lunar New Year,

Happy Valentine!

Is New Year being created to mark the end of the year or the start of the new year?

Is Valentine day being created to let lonely people feels miserable?

why the hell are festival and special days being created?

seriously speaking, why is Valentine Day being created to just show the world how lovely and how loving couple are? i sometimes don see a point, is it because of i'm single. but thinking through, i doubt so. i think if a couple really loves each other, everyday will be a valentine day for them. why must there be a valentine day to feel being loved? why can't everyday be a valentine day? i just don't see the point of this special day created for anything. ha! -point of view-

chinese new year. this year i go stylish, this year i go modernish, this year i go boyish, this year i am another year. this year i mingle well with the kids. they are all so cute cute cute. so lovely. always love the first day of lunar year. cos that's when the catching up time. i had relatives asking me when i am getting married? gosh! how old do i really look? maybe another 20 years time. ha! but the kids were really really cute. esp this handsome small lad, gona upload the pictures once i received it. he is so lovable and adorable.

i guess is really time to let go of any feelings and feel numb again. happy with life now except for one thing, i really really really wanna do things i like and i think i can excel and i think no matter how much time i put on the thing i wanna do i will still enjoy my life.

goodness, alot of people say that i changed,but i don't see that in me. how did i change? bestie say i change in my style, but i guess more or less my character change somehow. surroundings and situation forced me to change. people and irritating business show me the needs to change. advise and confusion allow me to fall in the trap. ya, somehow i think i did. i am not going to go with my passion, however choosing the secondary to it. people money really means alot. have i become so money minded. i didn't however i see the power of money. this season i am in love with : "Valentino Maison Bag" love it so much but i could never afford it. my passion is so pricey that i have to let it go. people have been stepping hard on my dreams forcing me to let it free. from all this incident , i realize people can't have much control in things they love. cos not everything will fall nicely the way you want. i am too tired to see the reality and hear the truth. i seriously think i am so much suitable to be a nursery childcare teacher. cos, all the kids are so naive . they know nothing about lying, bout betraying, they just know nuts about how to be a bad person. that's why kids are so adorable. things have changed so much in my life. but i don't see it getting better. alright, enough of those unhappy stuffs. i have got plenty of pictures to show in a go. however, i still got so many things to see too. but let's just put it aside...

sometime i just wish that i don't wish

recently, i feel the fear. the fear of not attaining anything in my whole life. i fear that things won't turn out as what i expected. i fear that i will be in heavy debt just in order to pursue my DREAMS. i seriously fear for my passion and dream. how come i can't just be a simple minded and easy contented lady. why i just can't be happy with what i have now. why can't i just be satisfied with my current life which is consider normal. why must i be so stubborn on my dreams. the fear was kept under me, i didn't wanna face it didn't wanna admit it. i am scared, i am afraid, i fear.


Now,let's relax and allow me to discourse my End-of-year 2007 Hongkong trip.
this time round, i didn't go with bestie,this time round it wasn't a short trip, this time round it was a cold trip, this time round i learnt alot from this trip, this time round this trip is considered fruitful, this time round i am more familiarize with hongkong.this time round i spoke proper and more accurate cantonese, this time round cabs uncle praise my ability to speak cantonese. this time round i am able to wear boots in hongkong, this time round i am wearing full leggings in hongkong,this time round i love the weather in hongkong. this time round we went to the outback of hongkong. this time round i made wished in hongkong. this time round i spent Christmas eve in Lan Kwai Fong, this time round i spent Christmas Day in Macau, this time round we went around hongkong, this time round i had "Ji Dan Zai" everyday,this time round i bought nicer things, this time round i travelled to shenzhen, this time round shenzhen is scary at night, this time round i felt that i am lucky to be born in singapore, stupid, i should just stop all this time round. tired of it.

people are always not content of their presents' , they have to be at the worst to feel fortunate, to be at the best to feel misfortunate. when i was in shenzhen, i saw how poor people can get, how low and poor the living standards it was, at once i felt so so fortunate to be blessed with nice home, nice family and friends and nice clothes and nice and clean environment. but the moment i am back in singapore, i guess i start to take everything for granted. human's like me are always not gratified with everything that i have. i should be banished from all the good stuffs that i am enjoying. but this trip i went to the wishing tree that was always the scene in Hongkong TVB Dramas. though, the tree isn't like before with all the blessing tied up on the tree cos the branch did break. for safety reasons, no more throwings are allowed. we can just wished and be blessed. i am happy that we went to the more urban area to see another peaceful side of hongkong. when we were there everything was first class, train we also took first class, the ferry to macau we also took the deluxe class, then when we fly back to singapore we were upgrade to business class!! just because we dress appropriate for business class, in hongkong we stayed at a boutique hotel! damn NICE!!! very DESIGNER!! Superb CONCEPT!!the whole trip is nothing but comfort! except for all the customs pass-through, that was torturing!very torturing.
hmm, how bout i'll stop till now.

hongkong is fun!
Last song of 2007

最長的電影
我們的開始　是很長的電影
放映了三年　我票都還留著
冰上的芭蕾　腦海中還在旋轉
望著妳　慢慢忘記妳

＃朦朧的時間　我們溜了多遠　
冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變　
如果再重來　會不會稍嫌狼狽　
愛是不是不開口才珍貴
＊再給我兩分鐘　讓我把記憶結成冰　別融化了眼淚　妳妝都花了
要我怎麼記得　記得妳要我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧　
妳說妳會哭　不是因為在乎＊

如果
不瞞你說　我真的有想過
從今以後不再跟你　有任何聯絡
不要再試著暗示我　後來你發現甚麼

不瞞你說　並不特別寂寞
接下來的幾個週末　節目特別多
偶而會有人喜歡我　但並不代表甚麼

＊現在的我　不缺甚麼　
認真的生活　偶而會難過　
新朋友很多　他們不夠瞭解我（他們都不瞭解我）　
問了太多　我只是微笑的帶過　
未來的我　沒有如果　
不相信星座　能預告甚麼　
假設那麼多　過去會不會復活　
最好沒有如果

不瞞你說　經過幾次風波
你不能再從我臉上　讀出些甚麼
要適應的事越來越多　改變的不止是我

Repeat ＊假設那麼多　過去能不能來過我不相信如果

sometimes i wish time won't pass away so fast

Woah! Happy New Year everybody!! Happy 2008!! what a striking fast year that went away just like that! did a new top picture to welcome a brand new 2008.so many things happen to me in this whole year. so many changes made, so many unexpected. but no matter how, i still have to deal with all this that come chasing behind me. bravo! what a fucking bad year.

new year resolution? hmm, my new year resolution always never come true, but i guess i found the reason for that. cos, i have been waiting for my resolution to come true while i did nothing to change. if i wanna my resolution to come true i should so something to myself. i should change myself and i should be the one MAKING my resolution come true and not doing nothing.

frankly,just came back from the familiar hongkong. how many times must i go there? ha! it was my 4th time. amazing how i can go back to the same country for four times. what is it that they have it there that keeps attracting me back. maybe is not the place, maybe is just a getaway. a getaway to de-stress and find a new goal. but still hongkong, i love hongkong. the weather there was good! was cooling and cold. i like the weather there. there so much for me to say but i guess i shall hold on to it and have a happy new year.

have a good holiday everybody!

somtimes i wish my life will be like lauren conrad, okay maybe not all, how bout half?

ha! this is the second time that i said i wanted like like hers', can you see how much i wish for what she has. but definitely, it is not going to happen, unless maybe i make it happen.and just that, you is lauren conrad when she was born but i will be lauren conrad maybe in another ten plus years time. ha! olright, i am joking. but i guess we just have to work hard in our life and expect the less. cos expectations make me out of breathe, reaching out for something that never meant to be is so difficult. maybe we could just lighten our burden in life by lending a helping hand to yourself. you need that than anyone else does. so why not! it is definitely good to have a goal in your life and to know that you are working towards it. but i have a goal in my life and i only dream about it. life's still as tough. life is just so not meant to be. finally, the hills season 3 finale and i am so excited. i wanted to know so badly whether Lauren is together with Brody. out of so many guys in her life, Stephen, jason, i guess Brody is the most charming gentlemen, never mind his flirtatious's character. he is very hot!! and the chemistry between the 2 of them is burning hot! ha! and the hills season 4 is coming up soon! is all about lauren and whitney in Paris!! how could anyone missed it! PARIS!! amazing!! but then, the preview had it that " brody has a girlfriend?" "how can that be ?" - flashed across my mind instantly! that definitely cant be true. haha. alright, stop making mild guess. have to catch the hills season 4 to know everything!!

orite. i have so many many pictures to share and gossips as well. but i guess gossips should just be kept within me and friends. my lovely princess is here last last week! and she is really really beautiful and sweet and cute and funny. love her so much. orite, stop my compliments, have a look and you will know.









i guess i will leave out the comments. to many to comment about. i have been so busy recently, actually with nothing! cos, i am not too sure what i am busy with. maybe acting busy, maybe trying to be busy. maybe trying to ignore the people in my world. maybe trying to be alone. maybe trying to be happy. oh ya! i just bought , i just bought, i just bought the most expensive bag in my life till now. for me, ya is expensive but guess pretty affordable. i love it but still have yet to carry it. it looks very elegant, very nice,good color blend, nice prints, nice unique bag shape. just simply amazing pretty beautiful bag! see me out with it! ha!

hey guys, have you all ever come across this word call platonic this term" Wow! i learnt it from my friend the other day while i was trying to figure our the relationship between my customers. ha! but interesting to know there a word that really exist to describe this kind of relations, which i think was totally bullshit and nonsense. that funny how this term comes about.

i went to Show's concert last last saturday and it was amazing "high" for the premier seats audience. but was amazingly cold for the audiences seating surrounding the indoor stadium. i am very high and wanna like high along but too afraid to stand up alone and might be blocking people's view and it wouldnt be nice. but i could see that i was very worth watching to even get the most expensive tickets. cos he looks very attractive when he was dancing, singing love songs and while playing piano. plus he is very humorous. there were laughters throughout the whole concert with his Mr Pig : "good good good good" and his fabulous english! he is the man!! haha! happy for the week.

if there will be a country that has 4 seasons, and citizens need not work to live all provided by government. you guys better don snatch it with me, cos i will definitely be the first very first to queue. cos, work now makes me want to puke, want to scream out loud, want to just bang! and leave, want to just fuck off! seriously, nothing is good. will 2008 be nice? promise?

orite, enough of me writing nonsense. let's move on.

sometime i wish i won't repeat the same thing twice. OMG!! it is seriously coming to another year end. damn! time passed fucking fast this year round. and i hate this year. my every year's resolution is to have a better year than previous, but i guess my wish always turn on the other side. it will just get worse and worse each year instead of getting better. i never imagine i had to pass through such a difficult time this year round. nothing is going my way. mistakes made during work is seriously getting on my nerves. i hate to face the politic office issues, i hate to face the fact that i failed so badly in judging people. i hate to face the fact that i always thought that everybody is nice and good. i hate the fact that i stand so strong on my own judgment but ended up wrong. seriously, what's wrong with me? i have a problem with people. in this world there are things that can make me happy. but i only tend to remember things that made me sad. in this world there are so many people that can put a smile on your face but i only hate the people that make me tear. in this world there are so many people that can make you laugh but i only cry for those who make me sad. in this world there are so many different people out there searching for their soulmate but keep on making going to the wrong one. hell to the world. hell to me! ha! i realise something, no-one can't live without anyone. in this world there's alot of things you have to depend on yourself, and don't ever say things like:" i can't live without you" which i seriously think is bullshit! you were born to live for yourself. you were born to step your foot in this world. you were born for who you are. so never say you can't live on without anyone. everyone should learn their means and way of living. everyone should have their stlye of surviving. and i love hanging out with bestie. recently being to the barracks over at demspey which was a very cool chillout place. always have never-ending chatting session with her. i really don't know what will happen down the road. so far, there i could not see any sign. but life is moving on, moving forward. everybody has their own stuffs. and seriously i think i should better get alive and not wasting my youth meeting uncles everyday. ha! orite, back on track with the hills. and brody should really get together with lauren. and god! lauren got to meet Marc Jacobs... how cool is that... and bloody shit, she is acting so calm when she saw him which he was one of her favourites! haha...that's funny!! okie, i am going to continues seeing uncles everyday. let me know who's life is sadder than mine?

my new hair months ago;

sometimes i wish i am not so stubborn.


it has been time since i blog. cause i did mention that i will only blog if i have something happy to share about. or maybe when i see some happy things in my life. right now, i did spend 2 happy days recently. which was on the eve and actual day of my birthday. i had a good girls night out dinning and chilling with my bestie and several girlfriends. Thank you! my birthday wont be any better without them. especially with my bestie.. seriously, she is a must in my birthday celebration. and her sister is so adorable and nice!! she made, MADE a pillow herself for me. so i have a handmade pillow for my birthday present. she is so cool!! and bestie did give me a good birthday and birthday present. really a big thanks to him. and the girls. without them the day out wont be good! thank you girls.

and on the actual day itself, i went out with my sec sch friends. seriously, i was disappointed that it was last minute but then i understand them....i sincerely thank them for the effort. seriously, could feel their effort. the cake and the present. they all tried to make it to come out. thank you. and joel!! he is also a must.. he damn hilarious!! superb!! always made me laugh to the max. and we watch this movie "the brave one" from the movie i understand that people changed due to circumstances! unknowingly, they changed due to surroundings and happenings.
the show was quite a dry one but i guess i understand alot from it.
and sorry, i couldn't act normally. it has been just difficult. but thanks everybody. you guys just turned my birthday into a great and successful one.

my brother and parents gave me very very good birthday present! thank you. my brother's card made me burst out in tears.

lastly, thanks everyone who remembered and wish me on my birthday. that was my 21st!! however, i seriously don have the birthday feeling.... alright, i am gona share some pictures. here we go.....


Day : 12.10.2007, Friday
Venue : Oosh
Time : 10:30pm

bestie and me;loveherjie and me;

mary and me;

nana and me;

jie,mary and me;

Day: 13.10.2007, Saturday
Venue : Vivocity rooftop stage
Time: 11:00pm

my 2nd birthday cake;raspberry&blueberry ice cream cake!

timer1;

timer2;

timer3;

timer4;timer5;

3,2,1 NOW!! ;

hair-eater;snapshot;reporting sir;thank you & sorry;thank you cause i know he won't forget;thank you cause he always has his ways to make me laugh; little boy.thank you for being the bestest friend.thank you for "giving me the psp"thank you for eating alot!;ha
lastly, this was my wish. and i seriously hope it comes true. i don't care about other birthday's wish but i thought, 21st birthday wishes should come true!! and i made the same 3 wishes twice! so it better come true. sincerely wish!