My Return....

hey...it has been a long time since i blog...hahha....cos since sch starts i have been having a busy week.. everyday there are many things in my mind that i wish to say and wish to voicec out..but too busy to note it down..now i have this little time to blog but i totally have no idea what i wanted to say for the past few weeks...too many things i want to say but i forget..

okie, i remember the recent thing that i want to mention.. i realise i have become to a very bad person..keep talking about people's bad point..laughin at other people...pin pointing our poeple's weakness...thinkin about all the bad things..i also have no idea why or when i start becomin like that...maybe if i say out, is different..but me myself feel it ...so terrible..hope this will be just for a short period of time...

school term have been busy..excited about gettin a car license, excited about my attachment cos it wil last for the whole sems...excited about the FYP finally hopefully the threesome (me,cher andjiayi) can work together again...excited about graduation trips...cher me and jiayi planin...savin hard...excited abuot many things...but everythin will fall out of places once all this things end...that time i will have to start thinkin when i want to go? what i wan tto do..my future..my carrer...my eveythin little thing...i am goin to be no small girl..i am goin to be mature lady...gosh..thinkin of that is terrible enough...hahhaha...but what to do..i am a person who thinks alot..hahhaa...

hope me ,cher andjiayi will have fun and be happy and work hard and pass and graduate all the way...yeah yeah yeah...hahhaha.l.

Had a bad stomach

obviously when someone is sick,she tends to feel weak..but do they also feel more emotional than usual? i don know bout others..but i feel so...i realise that whenever i am sick, i wil feel more emotional than normal..i could shed tears easily and have more emotions and feelings for one particular event or things...i don understand why...

sometimes i wonder, is it that i look down on guys over being emotional??
cos guys hardly shows their emotions out..so sometimes i would feel that they are emtionless, don bother bout alot of things...but maybe some arent like that..cos yesterday i happen to be listening to Yes 933 FM... then i came upon this programme..this guy phone and wanted to dedicate songs to his friends..then he mention his two best friends...the way he says it, is like how excatly a girlfriends would feel for their girlfriends..cos u could hardly express their feelings...then he went on to dedicate to his Sec 4 classmates...when he felt very sad for being this is their last year and they will be parted...then i suddenly felt that two years back i was in his shoes too..feeling very sad to be parted with my classmates for 5 years..and the bond is there...mostly i could hear complain from girls for being sad to be leaving sec sch..i never heard anythin from the guys..so i thought they are cool about it...but this dedicator made me realise that, guys arent emotionless they are jus better in hiding their emotions..while girls prefer to let their emotions seen....


soon enough, one more year down the road, i have to decidee my path for my future...hard decision..but, who knows what will come for me...haven throughly thought bout this question but has always been in my mind.......

life is not a show

always hear people says "Life is like a movie"... but jus think back...is life really like a movie? and can it be? i don think so...or maybe some movie reflects some lifestyle some life facts but not entirely representing that it can be like a reality...
if that is so... how i wish my life could be like this actress,could be like that actress...how i wish this prince charmin will appear, that bad handsome will appear...how could this things jus happen? is it ridiculous...or should we say it vice versa...
"Life is Not like a movie but tryin hard to be like one?"
i think this is more like it isnt it? dont we always try hard to be someone we are not...always try hard to have the lifestyle jus like the movie had...try hard to be one in the movie..i think isnt this tirin to be someone u are not??
but this is jus lifde...movie cant be reality...only those u earn for are reality...nothin in this world is free...
and people always says that women thinks alot..this one i totally agree...mostly every women i know thinks alot...of cos thats includee me...but i guess i am someone who doesnt shows that i think deep into something..only people who are close to me can see that.. cos whenever women have womens talk we talk alot and shows that we think alot..
but guys are slower in terms of thinkings...but not all guys..some...are...but i also don understand why women thinks alot..maybe bcos they are worried...they have alot of things in mind..things that are simple become complicated when it get in touch with women...how i wish i can be a simple woman..


and recently i thought i grown up...and stop goin after idols..hmmmm.....BUT no..hahhaha...recently after watchin the Ou Xiang Ju ..- Er Mo Zai Shen Bian...i am deeply fallin in love with He Jun Xiang And Yanh Cheng Ling...wooo...i think they are both very good artise..and very good actors...with very good heart and character..and they are both very young...hahhaha....seriously...hahha..

drunkard burnt me...

woo....i am burnt....terribly burnt...face very painful...hahha...cos i went to play netball carnival at TP...then it was on the mornin..and my face got burnt..very terrible...i am so dark now..
hahah....

anyway, maybe...only MAYBE..i could understand why some ppl smoke...cos when u are drunk u tend to do things that u wont do when u are sober...i don know for other ppl...but i feel that when i got alittle drunk i feel like doin alot of thigns i never tried before..even screamin..sceamin or shoiutin in the bus..but i am still sober enough...really tends to go high and crazy...don understand why...but on the other hand..u also feel like cryin your heart out..hmm...i don understand why...but i seriously feel like callin someone jus speak my mind off..say whatever is on mymind.. but in the end i didnt...stop myself from doin that...hahah..but i don think being drunk will make someone forget everythin however, will hurt them more....hahha....but should i change..cos it wasnt drunk...it was jus high....hahha..yupz..HIGH is the word!!!hahah..alright..tml got sch..SIAN....hahah..

I dont deserve it....

i dont deserve it??... why the title?? cos recently i met up with my long lost girlfriends...my secondary school friends...we were very close during the sec 4 period...the times are fabulous...i haven been meeting them due to alot of reasons...yupz..then i met them on sun...to have a meal and catch up on those we missed out..definitely i am the one who missed out alot alot...they have moved so far ahead and i am still stuck in this small little corner of mine own...hui went overseas,xing in nus,dia in sim,chu goin aust,cheryl doin well...everyone seems so far far away...i wished to be like them...study oversea or even continue studyin after i had my diploma...but for my case it didnt seems to be the case...i don know what will happen a year later...but time passed very fast..but of cos i am happy to see them again...each of them very happy with their own life now...but it seems i am the only one nothin interesting.. they ask me to update them..but there is seriously nothin in my life worth to be updated and there is absolutely nothin that i could updfate them about...so i speak lesser than usual..i also emphasie the feelin of comfortable when u are around either your friends or your loved ones...although it isnt totally uncomfortable, there seems to be alittle akwardness there...and what they made me feel bad is when i decided to go home when is late..they said" for u, we can forked out money for your cab fare later" i am thinkin....I AM NOT WORTH THAT..cos i M.I.A myself for very long..feelin bad inside...haiz..hahahhah funny ah..hmm..i guess things are gettin interesting..and school is startin soon...quite excited to go back to go and have fun with cher and jiayi..missd out the fun i had with them...and goin school is definitely very interesting...Yeah!!

Camp Disaster

break camp on sat around 1plus.... wooo....doin nothin in the camp...as i was jus a secretary...but was appointed the GL afterwards...thought that only acompany them till flag paintin...but other GL make me feel bad..cos they accompany them thru out..but i didnt...hahhaha...through out the camp, i keep finding place that i can sleep and jus sleep...in SPSSU club,Sports club...jus find place top sleep...very tired..cos is an overnight thingy..the campers played thru out the night..we have to be with them also....i seriously hope the campers had fun..cos i think the water freshido very fun....know more friends from the camp but not that close...know some freshies from the camp..quite interesting..they are so hyper...hahha...it isnt easy runnin a camp..alright..Camp stops here..

simple obsession

here he is..HE JUN XIANG...hahha.. i am bloggin directly from photobucket..so that i can post pictures here..hurray..then next time i can post pictures whenever i like,i love...hahahha...so here he is..the simple obsession i am in now..hahhaha...

okie...got back my result today...Phew!! i could sleep well...i woke up at 7 thinkin when is 8.30 comin...then again i woke up at 8.00 thinkin "oh half an hour more..." then i woke up again at 8.16 thinkin " how come time pass so slow" in the end i decide to wake up..but when 8.30 comes..the server of school is down..i could log in..so i wait and wait until 10.00 am...til i can finally log in and see my results..Phew!! i never repeat any module..cos last night i dreamt that i forward not only one but TWO modules..damm scared..then moreover my left eyelids keep jumpin yesterday...was alittle scared and afraid...but finally...Done!! results wasnt that good..cos didnt quite expect D!! argh!! and Cher also did well..got Freakin A!! for Video..hahahhaa....and seriously now i am DAMM BORED!! nothin to do..waitin for 3plus to 4 for trainin time...now is like not even 1!! help me!! what can i do? there isnt any television programmes...and there isnt any online stuffs to do...i am goin crazy...argh...haiz..and i will be goin camp tml until sat...alittle sian..didnt wanna leave my com...and have to camp in sch...haiz...hahhahahaha....but all the people i know gona be there..there will be victor,brandon,kenny,ah hua,yenwei...so long never see them already...hahhaha....okok...damm bored..so bloggin borin stuffs...hahahah...haiz..sian...

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

is there such fantasy??

i really wanna know whether there is such fantasy romance in reality...cos it is getttin so fantasy and fairytale...it is almost the dream romance every girl is goin for...it is almost the dream guy every girl is yearnin for...but is it the reality that every girl have to face...is gettin more and more unbelievable...maybe is jus drama..maybe is jus a story..maybe is jus a comic...but how i wish there is real life...

every relationship has its own obstacles to overcome...has its own problem to solve...i guess..now i am getttin more and more confused by the drama...i think i am that sort of person that be what people think i should be..and i arent the person i want myself to be..i am goin against my will but goin by people's will.... people love people to be kind...so i have to be kind..people wants people to be generous..so i have to be generous...am i this kind of person..even me myself cant stand myself...gettin more and more confuse...time and time, again and again i ask myself...what kind of person am i? true from the heart? or someone fake?

i don give people good first impression..i guess if i said somethin wrong i wouldnt have notice too...and it takes me a long time to trust that person..whether he/she is trustworthy...it takes me sometime to open up and really talk to a stranger...i can be total loner if i want to...i can talk non stop if i want to...i don know..do i have double character? i always envy how she is...how good she looks...things she own..friends around her..people circlin her...whether i see this kind of girl..my confidencec drop way way down...i am jus too bad,...okie..enough...
suddenly, somethin shot my mind...

TML RESULTS OUT!! gosh..i seriously don wanna fail..i wanna go to sems 2 with CHER AND JIAYI....pray hard...
all the best...pls pls let us go together...

how crazy i am now...

hmm..i guess to me...a small thing can be a big influ to me..from last time F4...till now..although the chasin isnt that strong as last time..but it is still there...is this a sign of immature?? hahha....but this time i fall in love with the show..fall in love with the characters...touched by the show..moved by the show...hmm...am i jus simply jus too emotional? or jus simply childish? although i jus reached 19...i jus don feel that i am 19!! why? seriously doesnt feel like...i still feel like some childish secondary sch girl...gosh..hahha..

but i guess i am over emotionally attached to the show..cos i feel the pain when they feel the pain...i felt the love when she felt it...i felt the feelings they feel...although it seems so fantasy...but it is a beautiful fantasy...hahha..hmm..there is never a show that i feel what they feel...

anyway..the pic i put on the top left corner..does it seems out of place?? hahha.. i feel so...hahha

**Happy Belated Birthday to Myself**

yupz..jus passed my 19 years old birthday yesterday...yupz..since my birthday is over...i feel like saying that when as years get older...birthday seems nothin to you..maybe to me...now it seems like there isnt any need to ce\lebrate this occasion...hmm...is it really because age is catchin up..i don think so...in the first place...i really didnt feel like celebrating this occasion... feels like stayin at home...alone...hahhaha...guess i am weird one...and i also know that birthday wishes hardly anyone came true...maybe to me again...hardly one came true..is jus another ocassion to gather ppl togehter?? but like one of my friend wished me...he said...today is the anniversary of Chunpei's laughters...cos is the day i am born..with this laughter? hahahhahaha...true enough is the day that marks everyone's birth...important to remember...i was born on this significant day...to mark how noble my parents are...esp my mum..hahah..okie..thats my birthday..

but i also wanna thanks all the peopple who remembeed my birthday and those who wished me...it really means alot to me..cos it shows how many ppl really remembered my birthday...seriously..i am very happy....thats enough..
of cos i still have big thanks to cher and jiayi and dianelle...hehhe...they did make my birthday more meaningful by visitin to the zoo..cos thats my first time..hahah..okie..shutup don laugh..yupz..19 years old first trip to the zoo..heehe....hahaha..okok...but it was fun and smelly..hahahhaha...then of cos i got my sec sch friends..thanks to chaffaur yeo!! hahhahaha....he drove us around...and baolong..cos didnt expect him to turn up though cos he jus got well..and wei luo when he turn up and stayed long..hehe..and kwoo whom seems lost when he see me...hahhaa....anyway he is always like that...and of cos vinson..the one who bake my birthday cake for 2 years...thanks thanks..really thanks..thanks to them..i felt their effort...and i am happy!! and plus i am able to see david beckham on my birthday... super handsome..his hairstyle very nice!! hahha..cos we went to watch GOAL! quite a long show..but i think is nice...show how passionate a player is...how much he really wants to play soccer...how much hardship he put in..and how he wish his dream could be regconise by his dad....in the end..he make it..everythin he wished for...but seriously speaking not everyone could be this lucky to make their dream and passion come true!! hahhaha..nicee show...

lastly...seriously!! thanks everyone!! thanks you!! love u guys!! hahah..

Devil beside you...

no storytellin today...cos i jus finish watchin a story...a romantic story...a taiwanese idol drama...Devil beside you...sometimes i wonder, the story are jus too fantasy...cos in real life, will this kind of love exist?? i doubt so...that jus too exciting,too passionate,too dangerous way of love...met alot of obstacles,but went thru all of them jus with my thinking in their mind...that is "TO BE TOGETHER"....becos wantin to be together,they strive hard in everything,sometimes selfish unntil don bother bout how others feel. is there really love forever? this show is fantasically dramatic..but dramatic nice...i love it alot...seriously loving it...HE JUN XIANG is very handsome..cant deny that he acted very well... look hard on the outside, but extremly soft in the inside...he care more than any other ppl..arrogant in his own way but never irritating... suave in his style but never too proud...how come ther are jus so simply perfect man or even woman??

sometimes, u can really see what woman are lookin for...they are always on the outlook of broad shoulders that can rely on and who will always protect them...whereas for guys, this time i seriously don uunderstand guys...

my tears are really dried this time...all my tears haven given to this show...cry until nose block...cry until tears kept streaming down...but i like this kind of feeling..cos they make me cry....tears are always considered unhappy moments or things...so when i could cy them all out means i have cried all my unhappiness out....interesting huh...jus thought of this theory myself.....

goin to sleep soon..too early?? hahah..cos i slept at 6.30 in the mornin and woke up at 7.15 am to work..bcos of the show i stayed up late and watch... :) too emotionally attached!! :)

**story continued**

yupz...she cherish friendship..and wish every friendship could last as long or even forever....but she understands that somethings cannot be predict...so,have to take things with stride...
now,comes to her love life...should she describe her love life as complicated?? cos nothing ever works out...becos she isnt someone fantastic...so there isnt much to elaborate about..whenever comes to love,she loses all her confidencee she oncee had..she always tend to look down on herself...although she isnt some love expert...but soemtimes she could figure out why she could console her friends in their relationshiop problems?? and sometimes,things she said she also cant believe she really said that out...funny isnt it? fate is always not on her side when it comes to relationship...things happen jus too concidence to believe that ir coujld jus be pure concidence...
she loves music and she loves watching dramas...dramas that tells a romantic love story...dramas that tells about pursuing their dreams.. dramas that tells a meaningful story..cos to her..she always learn somethin out from the dramas...things she doesnt know...sometimes she learn from the drama..to be persistent in your own dream..to pursue soemthin u love...to believe in someone...to ahve faith...and believe what u got..she harbour alot of dreams....dreams of her future...which she dno know whether it will come true...she always dream..but could never remember what her dreams are bout...
**story to be continued**

story continued......

**Story continued**

nevertheless..without fairytale romance....she still have to carry on with her life...cos the world wont stop for her...nomatter what life still have to carry on..of cos..she wont be so stupid to be depressed over this stuffs...
sometimes small little things can make her happy..simple things can make her laugh..jus tell her a joke...be it funnny or not funny...she will laugh..what trigger her laughter?? maybe the sincerity of someone willin to tell her a joke? or maybe the sincerity that someone wanna to make her laugh? all this could be possible..cos she understand how it feels if someone were to tell a joke and it couldnt make the person laugh...it willmake the person who is tellin the joke feel that is waste of time..
she definitely enjoyed the company of her friends...fromprimary school to secondary school to poly...she could remember alot of friends and were glad that she was always among the famous few..but all this doesnt last...in primary sch,she have a bunch of good girlfriends and some guy friends...but lost contact...in secondary sch, she initally sticked with her primary sch fren but due to some problems split...joined two friends..however didnt last...then she joined a group of innocent,funn-loving,hardowrkin girls..she nejoyed being with them and love their accompanionship..but however deep ion her heart, she feels that she and them doesnt belong to the same world..she is so far far way behind them...she doesnt feel absolute comfortable with them,she feels a distant with them, cos they move very fast..she couldnt catch up...when with them,she always afraid to say the wrong things..and she doesnt express herself,doesnt tell them about her problems and feelings..soon,she pull herself out from them after everyone left secondary school...but thru out her secondary sch life...she always have a bunch of cool,sporty girls around her..being her fren..support her...play netball together,cry together,work hard together,run together,punish together...went thru alot huuh...
then in her last phrase of her sec sch life...should she say that heavedn is playin a joke on her? hahah..funny...haiz...it seems that she got no close friends to stick with...but lucky for her buddy by her side...talkin to her and study with her...stay in class every recess...and in this last phrase she got to know some frens better..but it only lasted till the end of sec sch..and each went different path again..she is someone that doesnt take actions but sit there waitin for ppl knockin on the door...she wont contact frens ..always waitin for friends to contact her...thats why she keeps losin friends..in her memory,she remember havin alot fo friends surroundin her always..but now..when she think back,she barely think of anyone that she could ask out...no one..pathetic..but there are still 4 friends she has in seconday sch...since sec 1 same class till sec 2...but funny thing is, also no idea how come they could still be close till now...yar...fuunny..nothin could explain it...but she is happy now..for havin two dearest polymates that share almost everythin in her poly life..she always say,"without them she cant imagine what her life in poly gona be like" they always joke and joke andjoke..joke uuntil laugh till stomach pain..they share the same dreams,they support each other,they cared for each other, they uunderstand each other...they feel comfortabl ewith each other...they know each othe rin and out..hahha..cool huh...she seriously hope that this is the friendship that is goin to last forever for her..cos they are important..and there is also this gang of ppl that came by in her life, which enriched and brighten her life...went thru alot of happy moments and exciting moments...but it has all gone...guess slowly she has learned to accept it..cos partin is startin to become part of her life..
is fate who bring friends together...is destiny that allows them to be friends...she loved every of her friends...

**story to be contniued....**

oh ya..i change the layout of the blog again.i hope it isnt bad..or becomin worse..cos is like so messy...hmm..will try to improve it ....think of more ideas... :)

Play ur fav song...

woo..very happy....i made the song dropdown box...now u can jus play the song u like...although this blogskin design is by me...maybe to some it might not be up to standard..but i am improvin on it...guess i jus have alot of things to catch up...my designs arent fantastic...but is somethin i fancy...hehe....

i think i......

hmm....whats the title about..i think i.....i have alot of doubts in my mind ....
i think i.....
i think i....
i think i...
i think i...
hahha..thats many many many more...but none of it i figure out what i should do with it...too much things i have in mind...

i always grumbled bout not having alot of things in life...maybe alot of people thought i am a happy girl..wbut who really knows whether i am happy or not...i might be everyday cryin to sleep?? maybe i don talk when i am alone..maybe i ...too much maybe...someone said...dont say too many MAYBE...cos it means u regret alot of things in life...quite true..but no one can predicts future as well..who knows what will happen next...i also wanna know what will happen in my future..i don wanna be a nothin...i wanna be something..but i have to strive hard...

a story goes like this...
this chuubby little girl...have been growing day by day...goin thru nursery,primary school,secondary school,poly.... she never knows what the path ahead of her is...but she dreams everyday to be someone big..to earn alot of money...cos she realise it true sayin not all money can buy everythin,there is somethin money cannot buy...but reality showed her that money in fact can have alot of things..one whole family can get to travel every year,family can heal any healness(not all),family can to have comfy life,family need not worry much about money prolems..maybe she have the wrong thinkings...but sometimes reality was way too much cruel...although she wanted to excel in everythin in school...theres always things that she acnt do...she cant focus..she cant concentrate..she knows she either make it or failed it...she is worry of the outcome...everytines it occurs to be like that...everytime she hope to learn somethin that teach her how to live her life..what she should really strive for..and what are her goalds in life...she never knew the importancee of knowing goals in life..but now she truly understand..having goals in life are important...cos thats the things that keeps her movin towards it and strive hard to live her life...
moreover like any other girl...she also wish for fairytale romance...she knows is hard to come by...thats why she jus treat it as a child dream,..cos once again facts showed that things like that arent easy...

**story to be continued...** hahhaha...

my own blogskin!!

hmm..finally i am able to design my own blogskin and use my oen blogskin..was quite happy...this new blogskin the design is excatly that kind of design i am goin after....i sort of quite like it...but it seems like too big...alittle funny...but finally i am able to design somethin that can be seen...hahahah....okie that for all...i like my design..hehehl..

changed blogskin

was jus happy to annouce that i changed my blogskins after so long..and this one..the picture on the right..i madee one...i wanna put them there...hmm..actually upon learning web publishing help me in understanding this html codes alot...a good thing it is..and i am happy with my blog..moreover there is song now..will keep on constantly changed my song..now then i feel to blog more often cos of the new blog..hehehehe...lovin it...oh yeah...holiday sucks..so bored!!!! hehehe....

hmm..it has definitely been a long time since i blogged....maybe there is nothing much to say or no feelings to talk about..or no mood to even write things out...hahha...okie..whatever..

maybe next time i will only blogged after watching some shows..cos everytime after watching some shows,it might enlightened me in some sense..or teach me something or showed me something that i always missed out...

dreams we always have...
but hard to reach it..
some managed too
its not that they are lucky but is because they worked hard..

hmm...sometimes i wonder...is it a blessing to be loved by two persons? who will u choose then? the one who always care,feel,concern ,always there when u needed someone,stands up for u, very gentle towards u or the one u loved but always make u sad and cry?
if u were given this choices..what will be your choices then? cos i am watching this show...somethin about this...i feel sad for the guy that loved the girl so much but in the end gets nothing in return...althought i would want them to be together but as much so i also want the girl to be with the guy that she likes too...

although i know this kinda of things wont happen on me...but girls always think...so i once put myself in the actress's shoe.. if i were here...who would i choose? the one who is always there for me or the one who i loved but makes me cry? i keep asking and thinking..pondering and wondering..i don know...i am prone to gentle and caring man...i am soft-hearted...i am frickle-minded...
who knows..maybe i will choose the one who is always there for me...

anyway..that show is nice..sometimes i wonder how the scriptwrite could producec suce attractive,sad,ups and downs show? hmm...anywya..who says watchi too much shows no use..ifor me..there always meaninig to each show... :)

Remoto Control

Life is always unpredictable....
should i be awarded a remote control
where i could control my life..
i want my channel to filled with happiness...
i switch to a comedy channel...
when i could avoid watching sad shows..
that will in turn make my life without sadness...
when i wish to control my life...
live it the way i want...
the remote control will assist me...
he could only controlled by me...
he have no power to make me sad...
cos i will be the one controlling...
i chose the way of life...
i chose the sequence in life..
i chose the up and downs in life...
isnt it wonderful....