oh yeah..finally i am able to laugh and joke and crap..hahahhaha...yippe..yippe....is not that exams are over..exams still have yet to come..but i am happy...cos i finally can heave a BIG BIG sign of relieve..my last assignment for GDIT is done...and done for all...yeah..JAZZIER...lets get JAZZIER...and i am happy is also bcos i love the ad that i drew out..i like it...couldnt imagine i could actually use adobe illustrator to draw that out..amazin and surprising to me...i wonder how i could do it..heehheeh....i love that only piece of artwork i did...cos for my packaing it sucks though...haiz...sorry..but i tried my best..u guys want it to be simple...okie..fine..thats the simplest i can give..maybe my ideas and u guys doesnt match...yar....wasnt very happy in the first place..but everythin is over ya..so now i can wholeheartedly study for my exams..yeah..exams here i come..cher say first time see ppl so happy to study for my exams..ya.to me i am happy...cos if haven finish...it seems like there is still somethin not yet done...then while studyin will ponder bout it...yar...so now is finished!!! hurray..hahahha..
and wahz..i think ahmad approach me at the right time yesterday..i was high in spirits..ahhha..cos i am happy that it is done soon...then he is funny yesterday....i bet ruzaini and sheena must have told him something....then he must have think back alot..hahha..."Oi...is all the past...don bother so much,we will always be frens...cos afterall u guys played a part in my sec sch life...i should say a big endin part huh...hehehhe..yar..."yar..so sort of happy that everythin is solved..yar..ehhehe...
but come to think of it..yar..i am so like him...he walked away from me...and me...i walked away from sheena..i have always said i hate the way he did things and the way he could jus walked away.... yet i did it myself...
gosh..sheena...tables really turned...now is my turn..i always say how i hate the fate that he gave advise yet he broke it himself yet i followed his footsteps...wahz..amazin...i am doin it to sheena like what he did to me...
so i could understand how sheena felt...but i might not be so that important ah..but losin a fren is hurtful enough...then again..i could also understand how ahmad felt...walkin away..reasons for walkin away..somehow i wonder if his reasons is the same as mine? if this is so...haiz..hahahhah.....
oh...gosh..i am talkin about the past again..no no..shouldnt..i should look forward..hehehhe....right?
hmm..yar...i should live a carefree and relax life...why i bother so much? but we are humans..if there is nothin to worry,think or bother about..then we are nothin compare to robots...ppl with heart of metal..right? hmm....maybe i should learn to heck care also...why i so kpo? hahhah...
yeah..so i am happy now..and i want to study hard for my exams...yeah...cher and jiayi..mon...GDTW!!!! "WO TING NI!" hhahhahha...hahhah....

oh ya..and i love this song..YOU AND ME by LIFEHOUSE!!!!hhehhehe...nice nice..super nice... *smilin* smilin*

hmm...today..damm sad..damm..cos wasnt in the mood...monday blues huh..maybe woke up from the wrong side of the bed...nvm...then went school..hmm.school was bored..guess everyone is gettin stress we havin less fun and laughters...i don like....then slack at club today...wanted to go home one..but meetin mj..hmm..then saw kenny...keep arguin with him...always believe what he say but always kanna cheated by him...am i really so gullible or plain stupid? haiz...nvm..oh yeah..thanks Sir(victor)....thanks for his present..my color shirt..hahhaha...nicec stuffs he got huh..hahhaha..okie...happy to see him back..hahha...then nvm...went home..on the way..jasmine..Once my best best fren in sec sch msg me...then she msg somethin like that" to be really honest,i dun feel close to any of u actually,has been like this right from the start" wahz....my i felt damm sad...she mention don feel close to any of us ACTUALLY...then what bout me? the shit and stuffs we went thru..oh so we arent close in the first place...all the time i spent listenin to all her shits..all her stuffs...wahz...i admit..we arent close anymroe now...but in the past we were close...we WERE...but guess she got memory loss...she forget about it...nvm..so i reply her"right from the start? not at all? then she mention after netball we arent close...NO!! is right after netball then we got closer...is after she left school then we got close...is after that so manyy many things happen..and she says"is okie..guess this is life" okie...maybe this is life for me and her..but i don want this kind of life..i don want to be jus close for the period of time then after no more schoolin we became strangers...but i got reasons when we arent close...think back those things she somehow did...she never know...cos i never tell...i was truly hurt by what she said.."don feel close to any of us" wahz..wahz...FINE!!! then what about all the past things...wahz..really damm...what has happen to me for this past 2 weeks..nothin is goin smoothly..ahiz...feel down..depressed...i used to laugh and laugh about...but this week...ppl kept askin me why i so sad? i don know..many things in my mind...haiz..
i think my feelings so damm accurate...everythin i feels or somehow guess...turns up always correct...really damm accurate...haiz..why sometime i cant be innocent and know nothin...
know nothin is better than knowin many things...but cant help it..i feel it...hahhah....i hope i will then..........haiz..
oh ya...bao seems like really wanna perm his hair...huh..don want lahz.z.then i know anyother matthew..hahahha....but now matthew's hair no more curly...hahhha....

i am really angry now..damm angry...don ask me why..i wont say..but i am really angry..shit...idiot..damm it..haiz...argh...why am i so gullible...i hate ppl who never keep to their promises..i hate ppl who failed to do what they said..i hate them..jus simply hate...argh..nothin more to say but damm not happy and angry...why am i so easily bullied??forget it..guess this is somethin i should have done and do and think and whatever earlier...fine..forget...don wanna think..the more i think the more angry i get...haiz..disappointed...one moment thot will be closer...the other moment the ideas were crashed...what is this man? fine...fine...

jus now watch a korean drama...named Lovers In Paris..wooo....why everytime, the actress in the show is so fortunate to have being loved by two handsome guys...really handsome charmin smart lookin..hahha...and whenever the girl is in danger or is sad, either one will pop out and help and lay a hand..and lend a shoulder....jus simply do anythin to make her happy...how nice it is? hhaha...
i guess i also should go find ppl to make me happy..i am so tired ready...guess heart is freezin back again...shall stay as ice until the time us right..tired ready....too tired to think bout anythin..hardly had time to really take a good good rest...nothin beats more than this...i hate it...i hate now..i hate everythin...haiz...i am tired..nothin more to say....haiz..want a good holiday alone...relaxin alone...doin everythin alone jus by the beach..should i jus give this a plan?? sounds like a good idea....yeap...i should...hehehe...okie..great...

liftin my heart up,
without failin to break it apart,
each time it hurts knowin the truth,
each time it pains more than previous,
knowin the truth again and again,
i should have seen the clearer and bigger picture,
let my heart be free again...

haiz..thought will have a great holiday...it wasnt that great either...didnt have a good sleep and long sleep...haiz..then met mj and ah hua to watch movie..to our surprise and horror super alot of ppl queuin for the movie tickets...in the end we ended with no shows to watch and went to eat instead..haiz..then after taht take a bus ride down to airport..then i went to meet kyeo and vin..haiz..luo ah..thought gonna visit jas today..but never...then bao went out with mum...hahha...oh gosh...i might see another matthew if bao gona perm his hair...i told him if he is gona perm his hair....i don wanna see him in sch or no birthday celebration for him...although is still some way to come..aiyo...i wonder whether he will really perm his hair...hope he wont...hahhah...don lahz...then ask yeo whats wrong with him...don wanna tell me..then everythin don wanna tell me...sadded...haiz...last sems i keep teasin bao MIA...now this sems is my turn..i MIA this time...hahahha..okie..sorry...catch up with u guys durin my holidays..YAYA..i know got two ppl FLY ready..FLY hor..happily FLYIN...ARGH!!! hahha....okie lahz..
i made a fool out of myself....by tossin coins in front of crowd..hahhaah...paisehz sia..today went to tampines..but the feelin is weird..suddenly it seems so strange and unnfriendly..haha...east..really very long never step into tampines .....hmm..feelin different...hahha...last time thats was my territory...now...strange place...haiz..

then today we went airport cos mj pick up his dad..accompany her there...then hmm memories of hongkong came back..we went to that check in point where we met early in the mornin on NOV 9th...wow...really...i want to go back to that period..i forever one alhz..haiz..

don know...today i arent happy...cos i am tired,felt shag..cheated and jus unhappy....haiz...stupid me...
and somehow today to everyone that i msg..thanks to them..ALL NEVER REPLY MY MSG!!!!!!! haiz..fine....shut my phone up....bye...

yeah..my color again...hmm..my new blogskin nice?? i felt that is pretty not bad huh..hehe.. okie...hmm...hmm...what to say? what to blog...happy things come and go jus like that..like a click...sad isnt it? why cant jus happy things stay as long as it could...stay as long as i want it to be? why? i don understand..we sacrifice so much jus for that bit of happiness..and it jus last for that moment...then is that sacrifice worth? have to think bout it..... sometimes when u thought those ppl who will help u on the way....but i was wrong to think that way....in the end, it doesnt seems to be...my wishful thinkin..... hmm...didnt know my poly life wil be full of ups and downs..downs and ups...thought i will jus lead a lpw profile,borin poly life...but soemtimes is good to be involve...thats what sch are also for...but being too involve isnt that good either...haiz...

there are so many things in my head,my mind...every seconds free, i will tend to think bout somethin...but never get an answer for it...haiz..yupz..

hmm...felt sorry for jasmine..somethin bad happen to her...she were once my very very very best fren..and i was sad that somethin big happen..but i guess she was strong enough to handle it...but i stil feel sad for her...she is always actin strong on the outside..but insidee..i can feel she is super fragile...haiz..jus hope everythin will goes smoothly for her down the road.....

tml holiday!! hurray!!! hahha...

wahz...once again very long never blog..cos not in the mood as well..but why i blog today? Cos wanna say a big HI to kenny and ah hua.... hahah..okok..chat in my tagboard....make me laugh since ah hua say i look so depressed... heehehe...then i will be retarded today k..keep laughin while i blog k...hahahha....hahahha...okie..no lahz..anyway, haven been bloggin too..guess lose the interest and mood to do so? no idea...see...jus now i got alot of things in my mind but cant remember now...wait ah...okie..lets say bout today...i watch the Mr fighting...hmm, dont understand why when fall in love with each other but DONT want to be together....i don know and don understand whats stopping them from droppin of each of their ego,pride to just walk a step forward...weird...cos i realise and finds that it aint easy to find u like and at the same time like u too...i find taiwan drama also have a way of grabbin attention...good story,filmin and actors and actress..while singapore drama are more of homey and family-like..like the recent last episode --you are the one-- i think meili gets her mr charmin in the end..cos she has a heart of gold.. if i were to chose which i wanna be...i will wanna be meiman...cos got a successful carrer and a caring husband...thats just too perfect....okie...enough of television...
lets talk bout Meijie's birthday then....thought it will be a whole group's gathering...but someone never turn up...hahahha....the sushi was horrible as in the food was alright..is jus that i ate alot...take and eat ...take and eat..hahhaha...but was nice...then we make mj eat sushi with quite alot of wasabi..she nearly cried...poor her...hehe..so next victim watch out!!! then after that at night, i bought a cake back and we celebrated it at the esplande and talk alot of crappy things...my face was damm red ....i could feel the heat..hahahha....i think wei is also alittle high that day..hahhaha....then after that me and mj still hang out for awhile...walk down orchard...guess we talk alot..alot...wait for the NR6 superb long...long...then super tired...thats was Meijie's birthday....hope she enjoy...
anyway, i don know whats wrong with me this few days...really think alot..always thinking of the negative side...thinkin of somethin bad...thinkin of this and that...always worry myself for nothin...guess mj is right..i cant go around pleasing everyone..then who wil be the one who please me? not tryin to say i am very good or whatsoever..guess i shouldnt interfere so much......jus live my life....life that i am happy with...
and today monday's blues...me and cher was alittle moody...but jiayi wasnt..anyway,is good to see her not moody..i rather see her lame crap then moody..hehehehehhe....love them to bits man..cos our MORG assignment is quite cool..We are on TV..superstars arent we? hahahha....they always make me happy..we always crap damm alot...therefore i really wished i dont forward my module..pls pls pls...i don want to forward...even i want to work hard now also no use..cos this test i confirm flung...and don have theory test for this..pls ...i wanna be with them the whole three years..is always tiring to get to know new friends..over and over again..so pls let me be with them..pls pls...
okie i am down again...down down down again......

--kenny,hua....my entries long anot? hahhahhahahahaha.....oh ya..today's poker game was damm fun!! we played somethin out of nothin..hahaahaha....great... :) and saw nette today...................is it me or her? am i too sensitive or what? felt somethin missin.........................
okok...shall stop here....back to my OC indiviual presentation this wed....argh..argh..talkin about soccer..any tips...tell me...hahahha....

Memories is a bridge leading to the jail of loneliness,
i could even hear that loneliness is laughin at me,
nevermind the surrounding,
nevermind all the people,
cos after the rain,
i could see a rainbow above the sky.
no more sunsad...
no more hanging moon...
happy things will fall upon you and me...

hmm...it has been some time since i blog...actually wanted to blog long time ago..but jus don have the mood..even now..i don even have..but guess wanna write down some feelings..hmm..since last friday..alot of things happen...really alot...i can hardly breathe..but that saturday has been deeply captured in my mind..and remembered in my heart...never will i forget that day..how long since i am really happy...hmm....have a social event thingy at east coast...then me and mj cycle to the bedok jetty there...we talk and talk..then suddenly the green gang came to the bedok jetty...was really purely concidence...woahz...hahha...cool..then we cycle off together...not back to the chalet..but we cycle further down...we cycle all the way to changi aiport there..damm cool...i was cyclin behind mj,ah hua,kenny and victor...then they cycle in a row..wow...really that picture is captured in my mind...is very nicec...although is only the back view..with the sunsetting as the background...wahz..really beautiful...thats is when i really feel happy..cos somehow nothin bothers me..jus cycle and keep on smilin talkin joke and crappin...i bet our story can film into a nice touchin teen movie..hehe...i cant really describe that feeling...is like with the gang is always so fun adn carefree...i really love that times...is somehow like we are back in hongkong..wahz...damm cool...then we went to see the airport take down..then we were there to guess which plane will come next...i bet on quantas..hahahha..cool..kenny is the bookie...tell u..i can never find anyone as crap as him..can talk to himself on the phone...he is really one crapper..but funny..really funny..i were laughin till my stomachache..ahhha..cool...they really always have way to make me laugh..esp kenny...is really nicee cyclin with them...after this happy period came the sad one..really sad...mj first time see my shed tears..cos i am tired ready..really tired...haiz...but i hope things are fine and good..really ..for both sides..and i am bothered and sad by somethin said ......really..didnt meant to be one...haiz...then moreover manu match was a bored...not excitin and nevertheless was i in the mood to watch...nvm..then after that...we went night cyclin again...heheh...cool huh..this tiem wei finally join us..yeah...yupz..then we had kenny to led the way...wonder soemtiem why he ride so fast...hahha..then i feel the scary part is when we were at geylang..wow!! indeed a night out for me...saw many ah pehs..and uncles there..gosh..didnt know it was so crowded and many ppl there at that late hour...was alittle scared...really...luckily i was with the gang..then after that we went to eat YU TIAO,DUO JIANG...nice nice..really nice...then we ride off again..to esplande..heheh..cool..so quiet there...thought back alot of things..the first time i went esplande ....... the first time i spent into esplande library....the first time i shot my first movie at esplande..the first time i went there to watch fireworks on national day at esplande..the first time i drink there at esplande..the firstt time i wander aorund esplande...woo..alot of things..really ....the most deep impression was the first time i went esplande library..the library damm cool..haha..then we rested awhile...saw how shag my brother was...bet he hasnt been sleepin well for the week...saw how sad mj is...haiz...saw how emotional everyone is...includin me...then we went back...we went to ah hua house for a 2 hour nap but in the end landed ah hua gettin a scoldin..heheh...i slept on the sofa..hten when i woke up...ah hua's dog was beside me...i was shocked...then it came crawling up on me...i have no choice but to use the pillow to slide the dog down the sofa...he isnt scary like other dog..cos it doesnt bark...it cute..hahha..then early in the mornin me and mj went back first...wahz..the first timr i feel that it is freakin cold in the mornin..really cold until i cant cycle..was like freezin...first itmr..then after that we went to sentosa..me,mj and wei and of cos with two of my retarded...hehe..yeah..that saturday cyclin will be deeply remembered..for me .i will really treasure the memories..it is also the first night cyclin i had..haha...yupz..


yesterday's memories became
today's burden....
tml's wish is still far for reach...
never knew the power of today...
cos every minutes can change a thing...
sometime,jus have to stop and think...
things wont turn out so bad ......

hey..what am i doin here at this hour? should be in school at this time..hahha..but i never go sch...oh gosh....guess how lazy i can get....haiz....but nvm..am here to blog about somethin....
haiz....i don know whats gotten into me this few days..seems like i arent myself...i guess tired isnt the reason anymore....guess my mind is back into thinkin and more thinkin....mj really trigger back some past memories...didnt realise it until she mention it...and didnt realise how bad am i...gosh..even i cant forgive myself....how else am i suppose to be forgiven....guess liking wont last...and tired of a No ending,ending....whats the use of likin anyway? when there wont be any ending...only waste time lookin out for that person....only wasting time to make him happy...only wasting efforts to impress him....hmm..i think in the end is jus purely a waste of time..but if in the end get to together..then congrates...but theres a chinese song that goes like this... "I am tired of the NO ENDING,ending...in the end we are back at the same point again" yupz..isnt it quite true...am i too persistent to keep on hangin onto a No ENDING thingy...yupz..i think feelin is slowly fadin....and i wish it fade away soon....but i know right now i still care....at the very least i still care....
i know i got alot of things to write last night..but it was jus too late to write last night cos i reach home at 1....we at kallang playin a friendly and had some physical trainin..then in the end i never take a train home...i took a bus home..my second time takin bus no. 80....i remember my first time takin bus no.80 was took startin from sengkang all the way to the endin point harbour front...then take back again...thats was my first time sittin on a bus ride from one end to the other....hahha...that was a funny experience though...took it with one of my fren...but yesterday, the ride home was quiet and could see the outside cos it was pitch dark....alot of things ring a bell in my head now...guess i still love the sec sch periods...i no need to put up a face infront of ppl i don know in sch...cos in sec sch,almost everyone know each other..so everywhere i go...i jus put up a smile and say HI..but in this sch...i gave a look, and walked away....Wahz..how unfriendly am i..... that shouldnt be..hahah..hmm..anyway,suddenly things came crashin back....have yet to take a breath..guess tml i will catch my breath while spendin some time alone....guess i am thinkin too much again...stupid me...

never knew the truth hurts,
never knew the reason is useless,
never know how stupid i can be,
ruinin somethin i couldnt,
but no use thinkin again,
cos i couldnt turn back time.
happy the way it is now,
happy that we are happy now.
smilin everytime,
hidin the sorrow in me....

hahha..arent i talented to write this stuffs..hahhahahahhahaha....no lahz..jujs jokin...ojkok...enjoy my short poems...things around me gave me inspirations for all the poems i wrote .....:)

wooo..never blog for so long..yupz..busy is once thing...but nothin to blog is also another thing...is sort of boring to blog what i did today...like i say..who the hell wants to know..if only the day,somethin special happen? or i have some strong feelings or somethin in my heart i really feel like screaming out!!! now i do....
been talkin to mj and wei yesterday about some stuffs....we talk bout our past...our hongkong trip...everything...talkin back again brings me back to some stuffs..suddenly i feel like goin back to sec 5 ...not for my friends this time...for somethin i regret doing...YAR...now i regret....regret for not being consistent...cos i might never know the outcome...and now i will never....now i deeply felt the phrase which goes like"u will only regret when u really lost it" yar...i am regretting now....but isnt it abit to late or very late for me to realise..hahhah..what a joker am i..never knew how much things we went thru and time spent...now i realise how much i missed...now i realise the interruption of some stupid asshole ruin everythin....but why it took me so long to realise what i have really lost? sincee yesterday talk...the memories keep flowing in my head..remindin me how much and what we went thru...i am not thinkin of what...but the memories flew back again...actually,never once did this memories came flowin back...after so long..this is the first time...funnny how...i think is bcos mj asked me that question...it caught me thinkin...today i am thinkin ...yesterady i was thinkin it to sleep....and saw how foolish am i...but it has gone...became a past which cant be changed..and maybe there is really always a reason behind somethin that had happen....i shall knwo it someday or i will never know...
see what i meant by gettin tired of always fallin in love which there wont be any outcome, cos the feelin inside started to fade.....cos time fades everythin....i believe so...only how long u take...long,short,fast,slow....up to u....for me..i guess it takes a long time...although feelings haven faded totally...but it is fadin slowly...maybe i realise soemthin that makes my feeling fades....always never had a good endin when i like someone...so it gettin tired again..once my heart was made of ice..but now is slowly icin up again...maybe is good icin up again...cos is always tirin to love someone...and always hurrt to know the truth...is always sad to know that i am not good enough....see..suddenly feelin so much...hmm...guess feelin this kinda of things are really unexplainable...searchin deep and never will find an answer....curious to find but always end up disappointed...whats got into me feelin so emotinoal once again....
mj read my blog and say she read alot of sad stuffs..yar..truthfully speakin, it hard to find me writin somethin happy really happy about myself...cos all things happen aornd me arent what i thought it could be at least mostly arent .....but was hapy seein how happy my retarted ones are(jiayi and cher) they area always the one that really make me happy....and jus hope that green gang and netabll gang be happier again...and i haven been meetin up with F4 for so so so long..guess is time to meet up soon..i hope i will stand up again....

things never occur to me,
never did i knew ur existence,
it took me 2 years to see the truth,
took me 2 seconds to realise the past,
took me 2 days to refresh the memories,
took me 2 minutes to remember u....
that hold on to me....
but things are happy as the way it is...
cos this is the best endin it could ever get....

haiz..is my free time now...cos i never go to my PTN lunch..anti-social ah..but troublesome lahz..cos we have to travel to holland V although it isnt far from our sch..but the weather now is damm hot!! somemore my bag heavy and i carryin my shoe bag...cannot lahz..and if i go..i confirm very boring one...so i used my free time to sort of re-write some stuffs on the sports club notice board beautify it..hahhahhaha...what a joke..then after that i did my drafts for my GDIT assignment.i hope in the end it will turn out nice..and it will create another surprise again..hehehe... but sorry for nothin going..i don mix well with my class ppl though...hehe...and this few days i have been havin stupid and bad dreams...stupid becouse cannot say...but i feel so stupid lahz..really man..then for bad is scary....i dreamt of me sleepin..then in my sleep i woke up..see some shadows at my window then i got up in those sit up position but was been pushed down again..it repeated a frequents of time...and in the time in my dream,i woke up from my sleep..then i went back to sleep..then this few days i also have very weird dreams..is like i am not totally in sleep..i am dreamin..aiya..is hard for me to explain..but it seems kinda of scary lahz.haiz...then don dare to sleep ready..
then yesterday woke up to watch Manu match...haiz..actually i think they played quite well..that goal scored was a fault made by caroll....cos he never catch the ball firmly....he blocked the ball..then let go..in the end AC MILIan striker shot it in...wahz...sad ah..really sad..a goal not supposed to be scored!!! haiz...okie..later havin trainin..tired..sleepy...haiz..tml workin as well.... haiz....

Oh yeah..finally, i am here to blog about my sentosa trip with my best goodie frens...two retardeds...hahhaha...YESH!! finally,we managed to made our first sentosa trip successful!!! were so happy goin sentosa with two of them...Cher and Jiayi...hahhaha...but sorry to say..i was super late..cos i overslept...i forgot what i did the night before..guess was online..heheh...then after that,rush down to meet them...so happy seein them!! Hurray!!! then after that, saw sheena at harbour front MRT station..erm..was a little shocked though seein her then...very concidence..heeh...after that we proceed to PALAGWAN BEACH!! Yippe....we took monorail...Cher as usual...love actin..so she act like a tourist..takin pictures where the monorail is...oh ya..and one ANG MOH baby fall in love with dear Jiayi..he never took his eyes off her..hahahhaha....okie..then we reach the beach and cross over to another small island..found a place and settle down...put tanninn lotion...Cher put super alot..hahha..oh ya..and at first was so happy cher also brought towel..hehehe..indeed she bought a super small towel..enough for lyin my head..hehe..but nvm..we cramped together...warmed mahz..ahhah..then we play ball and freezbie...heheh...cool..then finally we went into the water...then wahz..so far in the water..me and cher swim to the big floatin wooden plane..and lie down to sun tan..then swim back to our dear jiayi..and we took a lot of retarded photos..really alot..hehe..and we really have fun..we sun tan awhile..when the sun gone into hidin,we played ball and freezbie...when the sun come out..we hurry lie down and tan..super funny sia...hahhahaha..i love them....hahhaha..we had a happpy time..really happy time!! yeah...we goin soon again!! :)

today saw SUPERNOVA perform..wooo..cool..so POWER!! and ncie..i think they have the potential to release an album..and memorise all the young girls..then today we keep teasin cher with bu xiang..ehhehe...and gems today was alittle borin though.. hehehe... :)

at every certain times, there are people passing by me....chinese,malay,india,female,male,kids,baby,children,teenages,adults,elderly....
who knows i might know someone at a later time...we merely jus missed each other at
that very second...but if fate allows...we will be friends...takin train everyday...see
many different kinds of people...different types...friendly,isolate,quiet,noisy,readin,hardworkin,sleeping..all kinds of people...
actually isnt it interesting that i get to see so many kinds of different people in this world? i know there are more that i have not yet seen...but at least i saw multi-racial people in my country...
saw loving couple...saw lonely soul..saw laughin friends..saw harmony family...what a beautiful world this can be...sometimes human really need to think on the other side of life...see life in another view..this will in turn allows myself,yourself to be happier....dwell on sad things will only brings u misery...but thats human..human jus love to make themselves look pityful...
i wish i could see more beautiful world outsidee...out of my country...more different kinds of human..different characters..understand every soul...every feeling they try to express...isnt that nice?

till now i am still figuring out..what kind of person am i? sometimes i think i am being too nice...until i feel that i am so fake..but i know that there are two frens of mine that i truly shown them my true self...
but to others..i feel that i am acting..jus actin to show concern..acting to grab attention? am i this kind of person...how can i feel this way? gosh...i feel that the more i act, the more fake i am...but sometimes to some frens..i treat them cold for awhile..but i still be nice..maybe at that point i am pissed at somethin or even them but i kept everything to myself....i know that friendship are the most precious..cos i feel that is really fate that brought friends together..and stay together....not everybody can be close friends..jus like me,cher and jiayi...me,mj,nette.wei and green gang....me and F4...me and hui they all...me and my collegues...yupz..is fate that brought us together..cherishin each other is important...but i feel that love is so vunerable...is can jus destroy someone jus like that..and can make someone feel like flying...is so fragile...can break it jus like that...how could someone make it stronger? i think the answer lies in that person himself/herself..... but how do u know love struck u?

avoiding is somethin i chose,
reality is somethin i scared,
truth is always surfacing,
dare is always not in me,
people i thought could be trustworthy
always turns out wrong.
i am afraid to confide,
i am timid to face.
maybe the reason lies in me.
tryin too hard to please everyone including myself!

all the best to myself for my projects!!! haiz... Uncreatively Chunpei Signin off----

can someone be so kind and jus sit by helpin her loved one winnin the heart's of his loved one? what is love...sometime love is jus somethin that no one will understand at all! absolutely no one...is difficult to understand...no matter how hard u try..u can never fully understand it...is really so nice being loved by someone...he will try his ways and means to make u happy...bring u out of the dark road that u are in..and be there whenever u need him....isnt that nice...but will u chose someone that make u happy or u will chose a person that u love? in another words..will be rather be pamper ? wahz...sometimes a person inner self is beautiful..is a matter on how it is being figured out...how it is being shown out...things dont always have a answer to solve it...cos u will never find the answer when the question is never out yet....so don try to understand love..jus enhoy love...isnt it?
one word to describe it...complicated...every story have a female and male lead, female and male supporting actors....and some extras...but it the end..the story still only revolve around the female and male lead...it will based on them,the story will then continue...the supporting actors and actress are to jus add some sparks and excitement to the show.. everytime wonderin and pondering how will this show ends...what will happen?what is the twist behind it?everythin..

i wrote based on the show i jus watch..Mr Fighting...a new show acted by 5566...is super nicec.Renfu very chamrin and handsome inside..Sun Xie Zhi also not bad...love them both...i pity that girl who have been doin all those things for renfu to help him win his heart of the girl he like...she is dointhis to maintain the close relationship of theirs.."He Happy and I will be happy" she always tell herself this to comfort herself...but is it in the end be alright if she were to see him and her toether...wont she get jealous and eventually walked away from him...
i bet the day she walked away,renfu will feel lonely..and no one there to help him solve his problems..i love this show..ehhee....
and i had a fulfilin and packed weekend...happy too..on fri i met up with my levis Ex-staffs....OOOO....I missed them..finally we see each otehr..hehhehe....yeah...then before that me and cher went to watch constantine...damm nice and scary lahz..then after that went ot my work steamboat...haah...cool!!! yeah..then after that sat was in sch the whole day for some sch eveny..and today!!Hurray...good day spent!!! hehee..

what is it that is into me? i guess i gone berserk figuring out things...i am tired..really tired...hmm,i guess there are alot lof of different kinds of people...people who are trustable,friendly,unfriendly,see things lightly,see things heavily,easy-going,arrogant,fierce,talkative,quiet,introvert, there are jus too many kinds of people we are facing everyday. you cant jus judge a person by how he/she is by jus talkin a few minutes with them... different people see things in different view..u might be jokin but u never know the person might take it seriously.....theres where conflicts and fights take place...some can take jokes but not all can...there are just too many different kinds of people...hmm...for me..sometimes i think i am very biased at times and have motive behind..i think i am not a good person...always tryin hard to be one...but i think the more i try hard to be one good person...the more it reflects how fake i am...so i think i should jus face and present myself naturally....guess things hasnt gone my way...guess somethings are being exposed...guess somethings i cant avoid...guess somethings i am fadin...guess i am jus not me....
to me,is funny how can a person be so deeply in love with another...those that will go mad without seein that person for jus a day? it amazing...how strong he felt for that girl...its wonderful to be treated this way...but its tiring for both....
but now come to think of it..i think i hate this FOUR words --LOVE!! it always cant get any better.... it brings hurt,saddness and all kinds of problems...many many problems...too much to handle...although it does brings some good points..but i still feels love huurts....
HURRAY!! DONE WITH MY TESTS!! 2 test only..but i like cannot take it le..esp WEBP...wahz..i think i really cannot make it..i don want to fail...haiz..damm it!! then DBMS i also don think i can make it..shit..what if i fail? i don want to forward module..okok..CHUNPEI must study hard okie?
and i am really glad that jiayi and cher is always with me...and we always know how to distress and have funn..i jus love them lots..hahhaha...okie..i am not a les...but as friends..i love them..hehe...
i spent Valentine day eatin Ajisen...hehe..cool..i ate that at hongkong..and now back in singapore..hehhe...nice nicec..yummy nicec..heheh..yeah yeah..and i spent Vday with my 4 dearest fren...Meijie,Yen wei,victor and brandon..hahha..and i love the presents they got for me..thanks thanks..hehehehe....hope u guys like mine too.. :)
today had a little problem while trainin..but i hope wei will be alright.don think too much..i think u think too much le...jus cool..hahaha...
okie..thats all for now...
i was amazed how i could do it..
i was proud of myself..
to shut myself...
but in the end...
i hide in a corner cryin..
i failed again...
tired,sleepy,body aches--Chunpei signin off.....

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!!!

sorry cant blog have to study..will blog when my test is over...if not my siao eh will scold..hahaha...okie..no lahz.jokin...

i lost the sense to write..i lost the mood to write..what have gone so wrong into me? caramel lost her sweetness...she hate herself to be like this...she jus isnt herself...she always find excuses to tell herself that"oh maybe i am jus tired, i will be okie after i have enough of rest" but it always doesnt work..it doesnt...no matter how hard she try to find soem excuses to cover her unhappiness and moodiness, she cant seems to convince herself...crackin up some lie to cover herself...she went crazy figurin out stuffs that was a past tense...she doesnt want to go crazy again figurin out the problem this time..last time,she got a crazy fren be there to help her figure it out..but this time,there a distant between her and this fren of hers...is always difficult for her to meet up with him..there goes another fren again...thats why she hated makin new frens..cos they wont last...sometimes it isnt that they hated each other, but inconvience or time drove frens apart..no matter how hard tryin to meet up, it jus doesnt allow...she is really tired this time...ppl came knockin at her door and broke that ice.....but once she opened the door,the person knock on the wrong door and went away...can u imagine how tirin it is for her to keep openin a wrong door for a wrong person? she wish she could jus stay away from the door and findin someone to guide that door for her....but she knows that the more she wish for, the more it will stay away..but she also cant stop herself from wishin,hopin and everythin...thats jus her..or should she say that jus human being..never fails to think,wish,fantasie..sometimes is hard to figure out what a person is thinkin,actin and the motive behind everythin he/she does..she is always bad is figurin out...already been 2 years and she still failed...what a failure can she be....jus a caramel for decor...and not a caramel for consume.....haiz...
was super sad, was watchin a korean show jus now..i am addicted to it partly because of the handsome guy inside the show...ooo..he is really very handsome and cool...he is a guy that doesnt show his feeling..when he cares, he shows that he doesnt care but deep inside his heart, he really really care but doesnt wanna show it...a person who look hard outside but is soft inside...i love him...seriously,although he never really did alot of things for the girl but i love him...and if i were the girl i will chose him instead of luxury...but i guesss the girl choice luxury instead of him although the endin haven been showed...
is fusrating to see two person are in loved yet no one wants to make a move or whyh they jus cant be together..is circumstances around them make them cant be together..is so heart pain to see them not together...is not easy to find someone u like and at the same time like u too...so whats the hesitation for? idiot...i hate this kind of story..i really really pity that guy...although he never show how much he care for her...but behind her back, he did alot of things too...it hurt him to see those things she did...it hurts him to see she crys...it hurts him to hear her being called name..it hurts him to see her throw her pride...it hurts him the way it hurts her...what a show..i love that guyh.....but don know his name..hehehe....cool guy..hehe..but i really hope the endin is the girl with that guy although i know the chances are slim...haiz...

you came knockin at the door of my heart,
break the ice,
and melt the coldness.
the moment the ice is broken,
you opened ur mouth,
and told me,
you knock on the wrong door.
jus walkin away without closin the door,
leavin it to close itself.
leavin the ice to see the back of urs!

Shag-Tired-Confuse-Sad----Chunpei signin off.....

oh..hmm..it seems plain...actually i was readin my previous blog jus now..and guess i am really down this month or rather say the start of a new year...how can someone be so sad even in Chinese new year....was glad to see my cousin so happy and hyper cos she is so sad last year....she regain herself and stand up again...it took her one year..and the first few months was tough....how can someone be so sweet and in the end trash that wonderful dream of urs ...jus like...pullin u to a very high place and drop u down..landed with a big "Thud".... how pain it is..how hurt u can...how much time u need to stand back on ur feet again..no one is helpin u...u are there to do it by urself.... it was definitely sweet to see what he did for my cousin...its hard to find guys that are so sweet...certainy i was touched..but it shows me again..love cant be everlastin...but seein another of my cousin...wahz...i envy her...she and her bf have been together from like 5,6 years? thats definitely damm long....things always have two side..it up to be how i weigh and see it...
and somehow i tend to see things wider now....my cousin tells me some negative things about me....is true..i cant deny that..but i am tryin not to be so as well...i thought i was good..but i was wrong..i was never good....but worse..never know that...haiz..
and on the first night of CNY, i went to changi airport with my cousins...
haiz...i miss the times....it brings me back to 9th nov when i was goin to airport when the sun haven even rise...and was takin a flight to hongkong at 7 with netballers and sports club ppl...it really brings me back..and reachin the airport..i reall miss it....haiz...shit..cos is like since touchdown from hongkong i haven been to the airport for like 3 months..and now...i went back..haiz..somemore i went ot the view and saw my ex-collgues...oh my...i was lucky i saw FAD workin..IZAN as well..oh yesh,IZAN...'serious go hospital' he always said that to me...hahha...oh gosh..my work placee..when i used to work...was sad to see them cos miss them..but was happy that i left that placee...haiz...how coem this new year brought back so many memories..and today i went to play pool with my cousin near his house..then in front of us was 4 ppl....3 malays one chinese...it reminds me of myself..really reminds me of myself...gosh..what happen to me? what is so wrong with me? i don know...i am definitely happy with my frnes now..but i don understadn the drastic change in me..imagine i hate chinese before..what is in me man..i don understand myself..i cant find myself...things are definitely not gettin better...what is the rubbish i keep givin myself...shit...
wishin for a never come true fairytale,
hope a magic ward will help,
even with magic ward,
i don have the magic words,
who will tell me what the magic words is.
i believe that someone is the key to my heart,to my fairytale...

FIRSTLY, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
hahha...okoko..somehow i got alot of things that i feel and kept inside...but is like i cant say it out...i don know how to .....don nkow how to explain how i feel and everythin....so fast another year passed...last year...i had a sad new year...only i know the reason why....this year...it didnt get any better.....so many things changed...my friends changed, my environment change..my piority changed..everythin changed..my heart changed as well....surprisin? no..it isnt..hahha..i don understand somethings..don understand why i changed, why my friends changed? was chattin with one old fren...i remember myself, that there was a period of time when i hate makin new frens..hate keep on makin new frens..cos i know that one day is either i walked away or they walked away....friendship isnt everlasting..sorry but i am greedy..i want everlasting friendship and i treasure everlasting friendship..i never walked out on my fren..but last year i did..and the funny thing is i walked away without a reason...i guess it isnt that ppl changed..is bcos u arent by their side for a period of time and didnt see the things and difficulties and stuffs taht went thru....
i guess if i hadnt walked out on sheena and ruzaini..i guess i don think they have changed now..cos i am watchin and accompanyin them and knowin what they are doin and their reasons..is bcos i walked away that allows me to have this distant from them , don understand them therefore i realise that they have changed!
last time when i were still close with them i am thinkin.."wahz..cool i get to experience a traditional malay weddin...and they are my best friends...we went thru so much togehter" but i guess this idea no longer in my mind....fuunny huh..how i can jus walk away...yar....is new year...and i am not really lookin forward for anythin...not at all...i am down..but i guess i will stand up real soon..cos i trust myself!!! right chunpei?

OOOOO!!! i met my dearest fren..my best fren JIAYI in town today..hahhaha..oooo..awww!! miss her man!! but only like three days never see her...ahahhahaha..then we keep jokn and laughin...hahha....too bad cher not there..oh..miss them..haha..but was really happy bumpin into her in town..hahaha...see her and jasper..cool!! hahhaha.....FRENS!! miss u guys lahz..\wonderin how i cope with one month holiday without seein u guys...hahhaa...haah...

wish everyone a good year ahead........

caramel is lost of words what to write..but she know how much she felt but it cant be explained clearly jus like that...sometimes she wonder why two person love each other but bcos of some cirumstances they cant be together..what is the reason for torturin each other?don understand...

anyway,i guess i know the reason behind the tears i shed that particular day...wazh..my emotions act faster than my mind....cant stop it though..first time experiencin it that i jus cant stop the tears from fallin down..i don know why..but is jus like that..and i know the reason behind it..and i guess my feelings started to fade...and when feelin fade i hope is for the best....this few days i lost the touch of bloggin..sorry for being so anythin writein....

droppin by to write somethin...

Life is like swimming,
when the water is clear
u swim smoothly.
But when the pool is crowded,
u have to change course to aviod bumpin into one another.
Life is jus the same,
it may be clear sometimes,
but there are times when u reach a difficult or hard time,
and need to change ur path and u find ur road to reach the end.