I wish he was mine. he is simply too adorable!
My favourite cousin since he was a baby. yeah!
One
Two
Three
Four
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
happy chinese new year to all. chinese new year, it comes and go just like that. people are always excited for the preparations, but too tired to enjoy the process. we are all excited and looking forward for chinese new year, but when chinese new year arrived. it was just " eh, chinese new year . oh, 恭喜發財! 新年快樂! 不就只是這樣子而已嗎? i do love chinese new year, the getting together, having fun. but it seems like this year i had a dull chinese new year. everyone having their own fun, while i was left one side. or is my family's custom and tradition not as fun as others? but, anyway chinese new year will just come and go. when next year, it another routine. maybe now i understand why more and more people tends to not see the importance of chinese new year. cos, it might just be another routine? enough of chinese new year. ha!
erm, did i also wish u guys happy valentine day? ha! Happy Valentine day as well. don't ask me how i spend my valentine day, it will just make me appear as a pathetic soul. ha! just hope that everyone is happy on that day, and hope my dear fren like her present. :)
what am i gona do in the near future? now i am asking myself, whether i am brave enough to do what i want. i have enough of parents wanting me to work as what. am i really brave enough to pursue it? i am testing my abilities. what am i gona do? work my life off doing things that i don't like? i know not many people are able to enjoy doing things they love. many are forced to work due to pressure and for the sake of living. but, do i want this kind of life? funny ah, why can't i be a normal person pursuing a normal life. like many girls, a stable job, marry, look after kids and grow old just like that. is not that i dont want to marry, or i dislike kids, but vice versa, i would love to be able to do the both of them. but then i don want a normal life. i want a life that i love.
am i rattling about life, and more of life. just unable to figure out what i should do. i find excuses saying that after chinese new year then i will think about it, when chinese new year is over, i will find another excuses saying that, when i am back from the trip then i will think about it. aiya, life is miserable. and i am certain i am pretty confused about certain things..why am i always the one who is being controlled? ha! confusing right. yea, thats right. maybe i could make it simpler?
this chinese new year, i saw my relatives kids, gosh, how adorable can they be. simple adorable. simply wish he was mine. ha! he is too adorable and handsome!! argh!! cant wait to go back and see my cousin this coming march, waiting for her. ha! :)
when i am starting to get use to it's absence;
it came by;
when i am adapting to the sudden;
it went off;
it seems that i was thrown into a pool of icy water after a wonderful sun-tanning.
erm, did i also wish u guys happy valentine day? ha! Happy Valentine day as well. don't ask me how i spend my valentine day, it will just make me appear as a pathetic soul. ha! just hope that everyone is happy on that day, and hope my dear fren like her present. :)
what am i gona do in the near future? now i am asking myself, whether i am brave enough to do what i want. i have enough of parents wanting me to work as what. am i really brave enough to pursue it? i am testing my abilities. what am i gona do? work my life off doing things that i don't like? i know not many people are able to enjoy doing things they love. many are forced to work due to pressure and for the sake of living. but, do i want this kind of life? funny ah, why can't i be a normal person pursuing a normal life. like many girls, a stable job, marry, look after kids and grow old just like that. is not that i dont want to marry, or i dislike kids, but vice versa, i would love to be able to do the both of them. but then i don want a normal life. i want a life that i love.
am i rattling about life, and more of life. just unable to figure out what i should do. i find excuses saying that after chinese new year then i will think about it, when chinese new year is over, i will find another excuses saying that, when i am back from the trip then i will think about it. aiya, life is miserable. and i am certain i am pretty confused about certain things..why am i always the one who is being controlled? ha! confusing right. yea, thats right. maybe i could make it simpler?
this chinese new year, i saw my relatives kids, gosh, how adorable can they be. simple adorable. simply wish he was mine. ha! he is too adorable and handsome!! argh!! cant wait to go back and see my cousin this coming march, waiting for her. ha! :)
when i am starting to get use to it's absence;
it came by;
when i am adapting to the sudden;
it went off;
it seems that i was thrown into a pool of icy water after a wonderful sun-tanning.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
there have been days that i didnt blog. so many many days. my feelings has been coasting up and down. so many things happen.i have so many things to say. but i don know where i should start. seriously, don know how to start.
i have been keeping up with this female taiwanese artise who recently passed away. whenever, i see reports on her, my tears just run down uncontrollably. i don know where my tears coming from. you can say that i am an emotional lady. maybe i am. but i can't complain that heaven is unfair, cos it was never fair. the day when reality strikes everyone, that's when they come to senses that, everything is unfair in this world.
just like what rainie said "时间可以冲淡我们的伤痛，但是我们不会因为时间而把你忘记。 我们会试着变坚强，但是很难，终觉得这是一场恶作剧。人啊，终是会自己别 骗自己。 what she said is very truth. people just fing it hard to face the reality. we always delude ourselves, consoling ourselves when we know the outcome. we just want to let ourselves feel better. but doesn't this make it worse. when it hurts so badly deep inside your heart. farewell 伟伦 。 you will always be the beautiful angel. i watched the musical show that the friends put up for her, and i cried my heart out. it hurts badly that everyone feel for it. no one wish for this to happen, but disaster just strike anytime. no one dare to face the truth, cos they will hurt so badly. but, reality is right before us, yet no one wants to go near. everything ended, they waved goodbye. in the near future, she will definitely always be remembered!
recently, i feel like i am riding a roller coaster, cos sometime i feel down, sometime i feel high. recently, i am happy because school ended, i am happy becos of my retake,i am happy because chinese new year is coming, i am happy because my idol came to singapore. recently, i am sad because of the tragedy, i am sad because of the truth, i am sad because my fren is unhappy, i am sad because i am disappointed in myself, i am sad because i am angry with myself. isn't my mood like a roller coaster, go up fast,come down fast as well. every now and then, i would just cry easily, i don know why. i just feel like crying. you can say i am a cry-baby, which i have to admit i am. i cry alot. seriously alot. maybe can feel erm 2 cups of water. ha!
out from school. meeting with my fren is minimazing, cos we are both busy with our own things. there are so many times i wish i could just find some time to meet her, but i am really busy completing my working modules. i always wonder whether we will be friends forever? cos, poly brought us together, it might also bring us further away. nevermind what i am thinking. i just hope everything turns out well for her, everytime listen to her problems, i could do nothing but listen. that's so useless. but i still lend my ear. precious ear. :)
chinese new year is coming, the atmosphere seem to be decreasing this year. why is that so? i really love chinese new year, when is makes me feels like everything new is gonna start, the old will go away. just feel fresh and relazing. but this year. hmm, i don know... something seems to be missing.
i have been keeping up with this female taiwanese artise who recently passed away. whenever, i see reports on her, my tears just run down uncontrollably. i don know where my tears coming from. you can say that i am an emotional lady. maybe i am. but i can't complain that heaven is unfair, cos it was never fair. the day when reality strikes everyone, that's when they come to senses that, everything is unfair in this world.
just like what rainie said "时间可以冲淡我们的伤痛，但是我们不会因为时间而把你忘记。 我们会试着变坚强，但是很难，终觉得这是一场恶作剧。人啊，终是会自己别 骗自己。 what she said is very truth. people just fing it hard to face the reality. we always delude ourselves, consoling ourselves when we know the outcome. we just want to let ourselves feel better. but doesn't this make it worse. when it hurts so badly deep inside your heart. farewell 伟伦 。 you will always be the beautiful angel. i watched the musical show that the friends put up for her, and i cried my heart out. it hurts badly that everyone feel for it. no one wish for this to happen, but disaster just strike anytime. no one dare to face the truth, cos they will hurt so badly. but, reality is right before us, yet no one wants to go near. everything ended, they waved goodbye. in the near future, she will definitely always be remembered!
recently, i feel like i am riding a roller coaster, cos sometime i feel down, sometime i feel high. recently, i am happy because school ended, i am happy becos of my retake,i am happy because chinese new year is coming, i am happy because my idol came to singapore. recently, i am sad because of the tragedy, i am sad because of the truth, i am sad because my fren is unhappy, i am sad because i am disappointed in myself, i am sad because i am angry with myself. isn't my mood like a roller coaster, go up fast,come down fast as well. every now and then, i would just cry easily, i don know why. i just feel like crying. you can say i am a cry-baby, which i have to admit i am. i cry alot. seriously alot. maybe can feel erm 2 cups of water. ha!
out from school. meeting with my fren is minimazing, cos we are both busy with our own things. there are so many times i wish i could just find some time to meet her, but i am really busy completing my working modules. i always wonder whether we will be friends forever? cos, poly brought us together, it might also bring us further away. nevermind what i am thinking. i just hope everything turns out well for her, everytime listen to her problems, i could do nothing but listen. that's so useless. but i still lend my ear. precious ear. :)
chinese new year is coming, the atmosphere seem to be decreasing this year. why is that so? i really love chinese new year, when is makes me feels like everything new is gonna start, the old will go away. just feel fresh and relazing. but this year. hmm, i don know... something seems to be missing.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
there are alot of things in the worlds that are unpredictable. you never know when anything will happen. things just snap just like that. recently, tears rolled down easily, cos i feel sad. sad for a kind hearted lady who have left. everythin happen so fast that i can't digest, so i can't imagine how her friends or family members could do it. this shows that life is so fragile. anything can happen anytime.
you know what, there are so mamy things i want to say, but i am not in the mood for all that.
anyway, i am just disappointed with myself. i thought i already figure things out, i still console my friends and said i could do it, why can't she. but in actual fact, i think i didn't manage to do it. but believe me, i will do it soon. soon enough to realise.
that's for now.
i have been feeling freezing everyday. i can't take the cold. ha. gonna endure awhile more.
hey, frens, what u all doing on valentine day? ha, is just another day.... :)
friends, happy valentine! grab what's yours! and treasure and cherish it. that's it for now.
i say bye;
you kept quiet;
maybe yes, maybe no;
that's what i get.
that's now; and never will never;
say bye , and yes bye!
you know what, there are so mamy things i want to say, but i am not in the mood for all that.
anyway, i am just disappointed with myself. i thought i already figure things out, i still console my friends and said i could do it, why can't she. but in actual fact, i think i didn't manage to do it. but believe me, i will do it soon. soon enough to realise.
that's for now.
i have been feeling freezing everyday. i can't take the cold. ha. gonna endure awhile more.
hey, frens, what u all doing on valentine day? ha, is just another day.... :)
friends, happy valentine! grab what's yours! and treasure and cherish it. that's it for now.
i say bye;
you kept quiet;
maybe yes, maybe no;
that's what i get.
that's now; and never will never;
say bye , and yes bye!
Friday, January 19, 2007
my mum just repainted my whole house which includes living room, kitchen and all the bedrooms. everything just seem new again. it seems like 5 years ago, i just moved into this new house of mine. everything reminds me of 5 years ago. i still remembered, that auscpious day, my mum and dad moved everything over. i was in school. i was sad that i did not participate in it. ha! 5 years ago, in secondary, it was just walking distance for me from home to school, eversince that particular day, everythin changed. i have to take 2 buses to reach school. it was funny, as that time i wished for that. i didn't like it when my school and my house was just walking distance away, i envy those kids that could take bus to school. then, when fulfil my wish in taking bus to school, i complained. See, i am so hard to please. but then 1 year later? don remember when, i had bus accompanion. ha! cool! accompany my whole morning bus ride, and took away the lonely times. ha!
after my house got repainted, the whole brand new smell surrounds the whole house. i sort of love the smell, it just seem that i moved into a new house. it was hard for me to describe that feelings. i took out everything that was put on my shelves. i want to take away certain memories as well. after everything ended, i will decorate my shelf with brand new memory again. soon, it will be.
there were many times, i wanted to cry badly. cos, everything was just too difficult for me to handle. but i told myself, "hey, you shouldnt cry, you shouldnt give in to all the problems, you should be brave to face it. " and from then, i keep surpressing my tears from falling down. then my fren told me, "no, actually crying can be a form of relieve" hmm, well, that's true. but maybe at the point of time, my opinion in crying wasn't that. i didn't want to lose, i didn't want to give in to all the problems. i want to face it. and face it with all my might! and once everything is over, they should just bloody go away. there are so much anger in me, so much that i could hardly breathe keepin this anger within me, so i tell myself, to let it all out when everything ends. and it is going to end soon. i want to just shout it all away.
when everything end, i have to face another reality again. there was non-stop for me in my life.
i should be glad that at least i am living for a dream. a dream that i want it to come true, the dream that i am working for it to come true. a dream i hope it will come true! yes! that's my whole point in living.! yea!
after my house got repainted, the whole brand new smell surrounds the whole house. i sort of love the smell, it just seem that i moved into a new house. it was hard for me to describe that feelings. i took out everything that was put on my shelves. i want to take away certain memories as well. after everything ended, i will decorate my shelf with brand new memory again. soon, it will be.
there were many times, i wanted to cry badly. cos, everything was just too difficult for me to handle. but i told myself, "hey, you shouldnt cry, you shouldnt give in to all the problems, you should be brave to face it. " and from then, i keep surpressing my tears from falling down. then my fren told me, "no, actually crying can be a form of relieve" hmm, well, that's true. but maybe at the point of time, my opinion in crying wasn't that. i didn't want to lose, i didn't want to give in to all the problems. i want to face it. and face it with all my might! and once everything is over, they should just bloody go away. there are so much anger in me, so much that i could hardly breathe keepin this anger within me, so i tell myself, to let it all out when everything ends. and it is going to end soon. i want to just shout it all away.
when everything end, i have to face another reality again. there was non-stop for me in my life.
i should be glad that at least i am living for a dream. a dream that i want it to come true, the dream that i am working for it to come true. a dream i hope it will come true! yes! that's my whole point in living.! yea!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
my dear friend asked me "do you believe that somewhere in the world, there is this right guy for you?" i paused awhile before replyin her, cos i have to really think whether i believe this saying. but i can 100% say that sometime ago, i do believe that somewhere in the world there is the right guy. but recently, i have doubts about this saying. is it because depression strikes me again to let me think this way? why would there somewhere in the world be a right guy just for you? do u people believe in this? then go back to my answer, in the end, i still ended up telling her, "yes, i do believe". why in the hell would i say yes when my heart is 50/50. could it be i hope this would happen? hoping this could happen so i choose to believe in this saying? let's make a guess whether i am right? but then how would i know if he is the right one? then again, i have a question to ask. how do you know that he is the right guy? i don know. maybe someone can tell me.
again, i said i have been watching alot of dramas. includes korean and taiwan. sometimes i hate watching korean dramas, cos the way they loved each other is like dying. they portray love seem so magnificant. without him/her, you will feel breatheless, you will feel that there is no meaning in life. is that how love suppose to be? then how is love suppose to be? i search but no one can tell me. everyone has their own point in love. there i should have my own point too. but it seems like i dont? it is not important to me now. you can never find the meaning of anything until you have been through it?
this drama - the snow is to be remembered for the she's birthday. so, she and he would love the snowy day every now and then. so much so, i also love snow, but be more realistic, there is no snow in singapore. so to me, i would use rain to replace snow. so whenever it rains, i love rainy day! i love the coldness it brings, cos then i would know that i have to keep myself warmth. i love the atmosphere it brings, cos then i will realise that i am alone in my room. i love the drizzling sound it brings, cos then i will also know i am not alone in my room. to me, rain is snow. a replacement for snow which can't be seen in singapore. come' on, don't see me as a fool. search urself, maybe u have some foolish thinking as well. ha!
i would want to cry out loud, cry everything out, cry every saddness out, so that everything would be gone. but then i have nothing to cry, so the tears are still stuck inside my eyes, which i feel very uncomfortable about it. is it that i am older, i starting thinking far ahead. i start thinking what are young kids between 12 to 18 doing nowadays. do they know what they are doing? what they want? but in another way, why would they want to know what they want. shouldn't they be enjoying life as it should. like i did. but then i regret enjoying life then, cos i would suffer later. it is so true. ha! but seriously, nowadays, if i were to do anything or to say anything, i would think far ahead, what it would become if i were to do this, what things will turn out if i were to say that. aren't i being a irritating and restricted person. can't say freely what's on my mind?
today, has been long since i laugh so much. ha! i realise it has been long i laugh until my stomach is painful. it has been long i laugh until i can't stop. it has been long. and long. that long. since long. ya, long. it feels like 2 years back, dear friends, i am happy today. today we are happily having fun till then..........
how irony, ppl from other stage counting down to ending their itp, us from this stage struggling to finish fyp and assignments. last year, i was slacking counting down to ending my itp to return to school. but now, i don know whether i should hope for it to end or not to end, cos when it ends, a new stage starts. am i prepared? ha!
was having some talk with sheena, hmm, talking about the past. past, why then are we still talking about the past? cos, i just can't forget the past. but then i should forget the past, i started hating myself for keep saying i wish i was in secondary school. i should just put it down and begin my new stage of life. no matter how happy i was before in secondary, how many tears i shed for netball which i remembered, how many mugging i did for exams, how many regrettful things which i could remembered. i should just dump all this hell of things away. it has been on and off on my mind, which isn't giving me a break. suddenly i remembered, the drama, when u want to take a break from everything, don go far away, go high up. hmm, is it useful? how high up can i go in singapore? cable car? ha! yeah. should give it a try. cable car. high enough? anyone know where u can go high up in singapore? hai, singapore is a small country, but still is a developed country.
are things okie?
no, i don't things are right
.really, things aren't right?
yeah, they shouldn't be right.
why can't they be right?c
os i know that it can't be right?
where i know that wrong is not right.
again, i said i have been watching alot of dramas. includes korean and taiwan. sometimes i hate watching korean dramas, cos the way they loved each other is like dying. they portray love seem so magnificant. without him/her, you will feel breatheless, you will feel that there is no meaning in life. is that how love suppose to be? then how is love suppose to be? i search but no one can tell me. everyone has their own point in love. there i should have my own point too. but it seems like i dont? it is not important to me now. you can never find the meaning of anything until you have been through it?
this drama - the snow is to be remembered for the she's birthday. so, she and he would love the snowy day every now and then. so much so, i also love snow, but be more realistic, there is no snow in singapore. so to me, i would use rain to replace snow. so whenever it rains, i love rainy day! i love the coldness it brings, cos then i would know that i have to keep myself warmth. i love the atmosphere it brings, cos then i will realise that i am alone in my room. i love the drizzling sound it brings, cos then i will also know i am not alone in my room. to me, rain is snow. a replacement for snow which can't be seen in singapore. come' on, don't see me as a fool. search urself, maybe u have some foolish thinking as well. ha!
i would want to cry out loud, cry everything out, cry every saddness out, so that everything would be gone. but then i have nothing to cry, so the tears are still stuck inside my eyes, which i feel very uncomfortable about it. is it that i am older, i starting thinking far ahead. i start thinking what are young kids between 12 to 18 doing nowadays. do they know what they are doing? what they want? but in another way, why would they want to know what they want. shouldn't they be enjoying life as it should. like i did. but then i regret enjoying life then, cos i would suffer later. it is so true. ha! but seriously, nowadays, if i were to do anything or to say anything, i would think far ahead, what it would become if i were to do this, what things will turn out if i were to say that. aren't i being a irritating and restricted person. can't say freely what's on my mind?
today, has been long since i laugh so much. ha! i realise it has been long i laugh until my stomach is painful. it has been long i laugh until i can't stop. it has been long. and long. that long. since long. ya, long. it feels like 2 years back, dear friends, i am happy today. today we are happily having fun till then..........
how irony, ppl from other stage counting down to ending their itp, us from this stage struggling to finish fyp and assignments. last year, i was slacking counting down to ending my itp to return to school. but now, i don know whether i should hope for it to end or not to end, cos when it ends, a new stage starts. am i prepared? ha!
was having some talk with sheena, hmm, talking about the past. past, why then are we still talking about the past? cos, i just can't forget the past. but then i should forget the past, i started hating myself for keep saying i wish i was in secondary school. i should just put it down and begin my new stage of life. no matter how happy i was before in secondary, how many tears i shed for netball which i remembered, how many mugging i did for exams, how many regrettful things which i could remembered. i should just dump all this hell of things away. it has been on and off on my mind, which isn't giving me a break. suddenly i remembered, the drama, when u want to take a break from everything, don go far away, go high up. hmm, is it useful? how high up can i go in singapore? cable car? ha! yeah. should give it a try. cable car. high enough? anyone know where u can go high up in singapore? hai, singapore is a small country, but still is a developed country.
are things okie?
no, i don't things are right
.really, things aren't right?
yeah, they shouldn't be right.
why can't they be right?c
os i know that it can't be right?
where i know that wrong is not right.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
hey, happy 2007! wahz... another new year arrived. yet, i am feeling nothing. i don't have the strong feeling of an old year passed and a new year arrived. but still , happy new year.
last year i find myself pathetic stayin at home counting down to 2006, i still remember how depressed i was, how sad i was, when everyone is outside counting down together, no matter is with their loved ones, with their friends or family. i ask myself, how come i am at home counting down?
but this year, i am still at home counting down, but i don't feel pathetic.i don't feel sad, i don't feel depressed. moreover, i was home alone. but then i was fine with it. i am happy watching tv. watching taiwan's countdown concert. it was really fine with me. but then why i prefer staying at home this time? ha! what a big change in a year. 2006 passed, did everyone jus welcomed 2007? but how come it seems to me that i am still welcoming 2006?
new year, people will always talk about, what is the biggest achievement this year? hmm, mine? there isn't any biggest achievement. cos in this whole year i learnt nothing but keep repeating the same mistake again and again. i felt that this whole year i have just lived meaninglessly. i didn't achieved anything, i didn't do anything. it was just a plain year for me. i always hate myself for wasting so much of my time away yet i still don know how to treasure them.
new year, people will always ask, what is your new year wish? again, we have birthday wish, christmas wish, then come new year wish. why should i wish? when all my wishes don't come true. they are just trying to make me feel worse. wishes are full of shits! seriously full of shit! i wish this, i wish that? i wish to have a billion dollars. so while waiting for my wish to come true, i just stay at home, sit and watch tv and wait for my billion dollars? that's just impossible, so then why the wish? why are there wishes? i don believe in wishes.
new year, fireworks is something that will always be present to welcome a new year. it brings excitment to people and bring happiness to enhance the atmosphere. how nice a fireworks. but then, it only last for a few minutes and it died. a few minutes of beauty, but then they are important, in the few minutes of life, they could make millions of people happy, high and excitment, not alot of things or everyone can accomplished this big task! so fireworks is very noble! you go fireworks!
hmm, am i still writing very sad blogs? it the first blog in a new year, yet i am still trying to be a good blogger. hmm, i will try to lighten up the atmosphere in my blog. but then, i go with the flow and with my feelings. i just write whatever is on my mind.
a new year has come, time to tidy up my bedroom. i want a new environment.
i always trying too hard to be kind. ha!
let u guys have a look at my cuties!
here some pictures of myself!
here some pictures of my idols!!
小猪 和 丞琳 ！ 我最爱的偶像！
小猪让我天天开心！ 真棒！耶！
Friday, December 29, 2006
merry late christmas. anyway, no one really comes to my blog to read. then, why am i keeping a blog? trying to keep up with the trend? or hoping someone will read? or hoping i can be famous by bloggin? or hoping my opinion is voice out? whatever the reasons, at least i am still writing. prevent my brain from getting rusty.
sometimes , i envy people that are constantly busy. very busy with their work. busy with work that they love. enjoy in working though they are busy. i really envy them. cos, they are really working hard and doing things that they like. when will i have a chance to do things i like. is always restriction and limitations. restriction because of age, because of environment,because of surroundings, limited of money,limited of social circle, limited of beauty. lots and lots of thing. human relations are important, building a good human relations will help in many ways. sometimes, no matter how talented you are, you will still need a helping hand from surroundings strangers.
from the day when i know reality is cruel, i knew that i am a bad luck person. luck was never seen on me. i was never lucky before! NEVER! is either i get helped from people or just bad luck will struck on me. it follow me for years, and is still following me. i don't even remember i used "lucky" to describe my day or any event. so sad. why am i such a bad luck person?
there are so many things always on my mind. recently, i love staying at home. if there's is nothing for me to really go out. i think i can stay at home for 1 week. maybe is because of the weather or maybe i hate the world outside, or maybe i just don't like mixing in the crowd. or i just want to avoid people. aren't i a complicated lady?
suddenly, i have this thinking, i want to get out from Singapore. is not that i don't like this country, i am just tired of the environment here, or people surrounding. i am always seen putting up a fake self . suddenly, seems like i lost all my friends. i find no friends out there, except for one.
the 3 of us, i always thought we were very closed, i loved people sayin how close the 3 of us are. but how come year 3 seems wrong. it just not close and no longer close. bitching behind, that's really bad.
friends? have i anymore friends? hmm, maybe all invisible friends. i am a pathetic soul . i know who can be my friends. my TV set. i always stick with my TV set whereever i go. i love my TV . i love youtube. ha! what a big joke. freaking irritating.
last time i thought i was always the one relying on people, but how come now i think i am more independent. i found people relying on me. maybe i trained myself to be like that. cos for me, i feel i am a burden relying on people, so i will put up a brave front and try to solve everything myself. take everythin down. hmm, i got nothing to say.
i have got 3 beautiful little cousins, 3 handsome little cousins, 1 smart P5 cousins. my cousin is so beautiful and i like it when she stick with me. i wish my kid next time will be as beautiful. ha! i have this smart cousin who always speak and shock everyone . he is just so smart, and you can never imagine what is going through his mind. he speaks fluent cantonese which i want him to teach me. ha! yippe, a bunch of cuties.
from the day when i know santa clauas doesn't exist, i know fairytale is fake, i know there isn't any happily ever after.
when i know fairytale is fake, i know cinderalla never manage to find back her glass shoe, i know snow white didn't wake up from the posion apple,i know the beast abuse the beauty. all the fairytale is just fairytale to coax kids.
it stopped;
when i wish it had earlier;
but till now i couldn't 100% confirm;
but i know it have to;
is a matter of time;
so just let it fly away;
and come again;
then maybe a chance of 50/50;
i want to disappear for a moment;
catching a breath;
knowing i am still alive;
i wish it just past tense;
my new year wish -- to graduate successfully ! please!
sometimes , i envy people that are constantly busy. very busy with their work. busy with work that they love. enjoy in working though they are busy. i really envy them. cos, they are really working hard and doing things that they like. when will i have a chance to do things i like. is always restriction and limitations. restriction because of age, because of environment,because of surroundings, limited of money,limited of social circle, limited of beauty. lots and lots of thing. human relations are important, building a good human relations will help in many ways. sometimes, no matter how talented you are, you will still need a helping hand from surroundings strangers.
from the day when i know reality is cruel, i knew that i am a bad luck person. luck was never seen on me. i was never lucky before! NEVER! is either i get helped from people or just bad luck will struck on me. it follow me for years, and is still following me. i don't even remember i used "lucky" to describe my day or any event. so sad. why am i such a bad luck person?
there are so many things always on my mind. recently, i love staying at home. if there's is nothing for me to really go out. i think i can stay at home for 1 week. maybe is because of the weather or maybe i hate the world outside, or maybe i just don't like mixing in the crowd. or i just want to avoid people. aren't i a complicated lady?
suddenly, i have this thinking, i want to get out from Singapore. is not that i don't like this country, i am just tired of the environment here, or people surrounding. i am always seen putting up a fake self . suddenly, seems like i lost all my friends. i find no friends out there, except for one.
the 3 of us, i always thought we were very closed, i loved people sayin how close the 3 of us are. but how come year 3 seems wrong. it just not close and no longer close. bitching behind, that's really bad.
friends? have i anymore friends? hmm, maybe all invisible friends. i am a pathetic soul . i know who can be my friends. my TV set. i always stick with my TV set whereever i go. i love my TV . i love youtube. ha! what a big joke. freaking irritating.
last time i thought i was always the one relying on people, but how come now i think i am more independent. i found people relying on me. maybe i trained myself to be like that. cos for me, i feel i am a burden relying on people, so i will put up a brave front and try to solve everything myself. take everythin down. hmm, i got nothing to say.
i have got 3 beautiful little cousins, 3 handsome little cousins, 1 smart P5 cousins. my cousin is so beautiful and i like it when she stick with me. i wish my kid next time will be as beautiful. ha! i have this smart cousin who always speak and shock everyone . he is just so smart, and you can never imagine what is going through his mind. he speaks fluent cantonese which i want him to teach me. ha! yippe, a bunch of cuties.
from the day when i know santa clauas doesn't exist, i know fairytale is fake, i know there isn't any happily ever after.
when i know fairytale is fake, i know cinderalla never manage to find back her glass shoe, i know snow white didn't wake up from the posion apple,i know the beast abuse the beauty. all the fairytale is just fairytale to coax kids.
it stopped;
when i wish it had earlier;
but till now i couldn't 100% confirm;
but i know it have to;
is a matter of time;
so just let it fly away;
and come again;
then maybe a chance of 50/50;
i want to disappear for a moment;
catching a breath;
knowing i am still alive;
i wish it just past tense;
my new year wish -- to graduate successfully ! please!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
feeling --> happy right now. just finish listening to a super high song. and i am feeling happy now. Ha! i am a very easy contented person . easy. if u are me, you will know how easily contented i am. ha!
anyway, how long can a relationship last? it can be just as good as asking how long a battery can last? that's my theory. if u bought a good battery, it will last longer of course. if u use lesser, it will last longer of course. if you treat the battery in good condition, it will last longer of course. so how come i compare a relationship with a battery? ha! just feel like it. ha! but i just feel the relationship is just so fragile. it can be broken just like that. doesn't that sounds scary. you won't know why it will end, who knows it is ending when you are still living in a world of your own.
can feelings just fade off like that? how could feelings fade off? i don understand. i am speaking all this from other people experience. i hear them say, then i have my own point of view. ha!
i sent out my christmas cards! yeah! finally, christmas is coming. will i have a happy christmas? i hope so.
how could it be possible that i dreamt of adam brody yesterday! god, i dreamt that i was talking to him. he is just so handsome and hot. ha! i just find it funny that i am dreaming of adam brody. ha!
driving alone at night, things run in and out. but, you just like the feeling of driving alone when cars are lesser, and where the atmosphere is lonely and dull, where no one pay much attention to you, where u can just step on the acceleration.
i am feeling neutral, no feelings. how could i have no feelings.? people taught me to that. what would i get if i treat ppl nicely? i don think they treat me the same. but have i ever think that there might be people would treat me nice, but then i didn't treat them nice back? maybe, this is what call retribution. isn't it?
sometimes, i doubt the word "friend", how do i define friend? i guess everyone has their own definition of friends. i admire those like one whole gang, and are really good friends, always having gathering together. feel very comfortable together. do things together. jot down every memory together. it just enough have one gang of friends like that. it was the "party boys" that inspire me this.
btw, "party boys" is a gang of boys formed by 小猪. you can see that they really treasure their friendship. it is hard to see guys like that. or is it easier to see guys like that? ha!
will everything end when fyp end? i really want fyp to end. i hate fyp. i hate year 3. i hate everything in year 3. year 3 is nothing but nothing. whatever man! just totally hate year 3. year 3 to me is no memory and is nothing. argh! 结束吧 ！
christmas ; jingle jingle bells
love; warmth warmth ring
joy; blah blah laughing
after so long still the same;
it never change;
it never moved;
after so long still there;
it never shattered;
it never healed;
after so long still yet;
never will be wonderful!
anyway, how long can a relationship last? it can be just as good as asking how long a battery can last? that's my theory. if u bought a good battery, it will last longer of course. if u use lesser, it will last longer of course. if you treat the battery in good condition, it will last longer of course. so how come i compare a relationship with a battery? ha! just feel like it. ha! but i just feel the relationship is just so fragile. it can be broken just like that. doesn't that sounds scary. you won't know why it will end, who knows it is ending when you are still living in a world of your own.
can feelings just fade off like that? how could feelings fade off? i don understand. i am speaking all this from other people experience. i hear them say, then i have my own point of view. ha!
i sent out my christmas cards! yeah! finally, christmas is coming. will i have a happy christmas? i hope so.
how could it be possible that i dreamt of adam brody yesterday! god, i dreamt that i was talking to him. he is just so handsome and hot. ha! i just find it funny that i am dreaming of adam brody. ha!
driving alone at night, things run in and out. but, you just like the feeling of driving alone when cars are lesser, and where the atmosphere is lonely and dull, where no one pay much attention to you, where u can just step on the acceleration.
i am feeling neutral, no feelings. how could i have no feelings.? people taught me to that. what would i get if i treat ppl nicely? i don think they treat me the same. but have i ever think that there might be people would treat me nice, but then i didn't treat them nice back? maybe, this is what call retribution. isn't it?
sometimes, i doubt the word "friend", how do i define friend? i guess everyone has their own definition of friends. i admire those like one whole gang, and are really good friends, always having gathering together. feel very comfortable together. do things together. jot down every memory together. it just enough have one gang of friends like that. it was the "party boys" that inspire me this.
btw, "party boys" is a gang of boys formed by 小猪. you can see that they really treasure their friendship. it is hard to see guys like that. or is it easier to see guys like that? ha!
will everything end when fyp end? i really want fyp to end. i hate fyp. i hate year 3. i hate everything in year 3. year 3 is nothing but nothing. whatever man! just totally hate year 3. year 3 to me is no memory and is nothing. argh! 结束吧 ！
christmas ; jingle jingle bells
love; warmth warmth ring
joy; blah blah laughing
after so long still the same;
it never change;
it never moved;
after so long still there;
it never shattered;
it never healed;
after so long still yet;
never will be wonderful!
Friday, December 15, 2006
my life has been like a drama this week. alot of flashbacks suddenly.
lucky, i have a book that notes down events that i would want to remember. the book that contains everything from year 2002-2005. there are alot of things inside that i wouldn't want to see. as, it contains much countless regrets and wrongdoings. so, i will always try not to flip that particular book. but i don know why, yesterday something just make me flip open the book, and i start reading what i wrote starting of year 2003. there are so many importants things that actually slip off my memory. i took too much energy remembering things that i regret, things that i shouldn't do. but miss out things that was done for me. lucky for this book, that i get to recall things that i forget. i paid too much attention in things i regret, but shifted my attention to things that i should appreciate. actually, there are also alot of things that is sweet to remember. but i don know why my mind just choose to remember those unhappy things. why is my mind such a fool? ha! i am glad, i took some time to actually write things in the book. cos my memory also have limited space, but then my mind can't be control like what a mouse could do. my mind just automatically delete things off from the memory and save other things itself. my mind is not as clever as the computer. as it won't as me again whether i really want to delete it again like what computer always does. [Do you really want to delete this file?] my mind is so stupid that they just dump everything away,unlike the computer you might still be able to retrieve it from the recycle bin. so, my mind is so stupid.
there are actually alot of things i want to know. i want the answer. but some, i might never know.
好朋友 which is sang by 小猪 罗志祥 is very nice. the mv is quite suspending though. but the song is meaningful and nice. recently, i don konw what got into me to keep listening to emotional songs. but then 小猪 罗志祥 - 精舞门 also very nice! recently, i always look forward to 5:00pm daily. as, to watch 小猪和小鬼的百分百！ 他们真的太好笑了！ 非常的历害！ 太棒了! 他们能让我足足笑一整个小时！ 好开心哦！ 小猪跳舞真的很好看。 小鬼十分搞怪又搞笑。 哈！ 哈！ 哈！
am i being too crazy over this kinda of thing. but then whenever i watch 小猪's programme i will laugh like mad. really laugh like hell. he is too entertaining. ha! yeah!
too many things i want to comment and too many things i want write. but then it always went blank when i were to type it down. funny isn't it.
how can a normal guy or girl become a superstar ?
are they fated to be one?
how can a normal person become a famous designer?
did they chose to be one?
how can a normal person become a billionaire?
did they pray to be one?
then i hope i am fated to be one, and choose to be one, and pray to be one. ha! i am too hilarious already.
christmas is coming. i am going to shop for my christmas shopping.
as for mine christmas wish. simple;
i hope for a happy christmas! cos happy is not buyable! so let's be happy!
what should i get for the blur cher? and funny jiayi? ....
what is good for christmas gift?
yes, that's what i thinking about.
a holiday getaway.
how bout sentosa? a 3 bucks ticket for sentosa admission?
haha! worth a try.
or a ferry ticket to pulau ubin?
hmm,(*scratching my head) giving them what i like. so they will remember thats from me. haha.. good idea. don't steal it from me. ha!
am i rattling non-stop again? is my post very long again? aiya, just read my blog when u are just too free...
recently, feel like vomitting blood...just hope fyp will end soon! please please let me pass fyp! please. i pray please.
ever heard of ulcer in your throat? i never hear before yet i am getting one. it is damm painful ! argh! i wanna be sick, but i am sick for 1 day then recover already. that's not fun! ha. crazy.
okie.stop.
time passed, i start asking again;
years went, i didn't open my mouth;
it will be over, when a new shadow appear;
did i hope for it, or i want for it?;
nevermind whatever the reasons;
i hope it will end just right there;
lucky, i have a book that notes down events that i would want to remember. the book that contains everything from year 2002-2005. there are alot of things inside that i wouldn't want to see. as, it contains much countless regrets and wrongdoings. so, i will always try not to flip that particular book. but i don know why, yesterday something just make me flip open the book, and i start reading what i wrote starting of year 2003. there are so many importants things that actually slip off my memory. i took too much energy remembering things that i regret, things that i shouldn't do. but miss out things that was done for me. lucky for this book, that i get to recall things that i forget. i paid too much attention in things i regret, but shifted my attention to things that i should appreciate. actually, there are also alot of things that is sweet to remember. but i don know why my mind just choose to remember those unhappy things. why is my mind such a fool? ha! i am glad, i took some time to actually write things in the book. cos my memory also have limited space, but then my mind can't be control like what a mouse could do. my mind just automatically delete things off from the memory and save other things itself. my mind is not as clever as the computer. as it won't as me again whether i really want to delete it again like what computer always does. [Do you really want to delete this file?] my mind is so stupid that they just dump everything away,unlike the computer you might still be able to retrieve it from the recycle bin. so, my mind is so stupid.
there are actually alot of things i want to know. i want the answer. but some, i might never know.
好朋友 which is sang by 小猪 罗志祥 is very nice. the mv is quite suspending though. but the song is meaningful and nice. recently, i don konw what got into me to keep listening to emotional songs. but then 小猪 罗志祥 - 精舞门 also very nice! recently, i always look forward to 5:00pm daily. as, to watch 小猪和小鬼的百分百！ 他们真的太好笑了！ 非常的历害！ 太棒了! 他们能让我足足笑一整个小时！ 好开心哦！ 小猪跳舞真的很好看。 小鬼十分搞怪又搞笑。 哈！ 哈！ 哈！
am i being too crazy over this kinda of thing. but then whenever i watch 小猪's programme i will laugh like mad. really laugh like hell. he is too entertaining. ha! yeah!
too many things i want to comment and too many things i want write. but then it always went blank when i were to type it down. funny isn't it.
how can a normal guy or girl become a superstar ?
are they fated to be one?
how can a normal person become a famous designer?
did they chose to be one?
how can a normal person become a billionaire?
did they pray to be one?
then i hope i am fated to be one, and choose to be one, and pray to be one. ha! i am too hilarious already.
christmas is coming. i am going to shop for my christmas shopping.
as for mine christmas wish. simple;
i hope for a happy christmas! cos happy is not buyable! so let's be happy!
what should i get for the blur cher? and funny jiayi? ....
what is good for christmas gift?
yes, that's what i thinking about.
a holiday getaway.
how bout sentosa? a 3 bucks ticket for sentosa admission?
haha! worth a try.
or a ferry ticket to pulau ubin?
hmm,(*scratching my head) giving them what i like. so they will remember thats from me. haha.. good idea. don't steal it from me. ha!
am i rattling non-stop again? is my post very long again? aiya, just read my blog when u are just too free...
recently, feel like vomitting blood...just hope fyp will end soon! please please let me pass fyp! please. i pray please.
ever heard of ulcer in your throat? i never hear before yet i am getting one. it is damm painful ! argh! i wanna be sick, but i am sick for 1 day then recover already. that's not fun! ha. crazy.
okie.stop.
time passed, i start asking again;
years went, i didn't open my mouth;
it will be over, when a new shadow appear;
did i hope for it, or i want for it?;
nevermind whatever the reasons;
i hope it will end just right there;
Sunday, December 10, 2006
plenty of things to blog.
hmm, have u ever wonder whether you can make someone's day? you never know you can do the magic. ha! maybe because you are too hot and girls are paying attention to you, and get happy upon seeing you. or maybe you are too gorgeous that guys can't take their eyes off you. hmm, don be surprise, if u are a hot guy, or a gorgeous lady, you can do just that. ha!
why must people have this arrogant expression or attitude? like as if the whole world own them something. how nice if everyone can be friendly towards each other. i mean there is no need to be so up up high up, looking down on people. you never know, maybe one day you will be treated this way as well. cos i always believe what comes around goes around. just a simple `thank you' is that so difficult? or just a gentle smile, that would make everything better. is it?
if people say that you will only show temper and show your true feelings infront of people who you are close with, then i guess i am bad mood every single day. it is sad that i realise that i hardly talk to my family, i don even ask much. when i think about it that day, it's so pathetic. i am the kind of person that tends to care only when something happen. but then, sometimes, some words hurt and they don't even know.
woo, i saw alot of nice expensive cars that particular day. so many rich kids hanging out . to them, poor seems just so far far away. my fren was tellin her fren, maybe he doesn't even know how a hawker center looks like. ha! maybe, you will never know. a thousand plus for one accessories, which takes me maybe half a year of workin part time to save that amount of money. can you people see the constrast between rich people and poor people. ha! sounds damm sad.
christmas is coming, another year is ending, this year has just flew by without me knowing it. what will comes after that? i don know. i don even know my future.
won't you want your future to turn out to be what u expect and dream about? or u would like to see a twist in your future? i wouldn't want to know my answer. ha!
my fren told me that, the answer is that you feel that you are important and be cared. i guess important weighs alot. it just showed your status when you stand. suddenly, i want a handsome big brother, so when i have problem i can go to him, and he will help me. why handsome? ha! so i can intro him to my frens. haha....i am crazy....
don ever mention projects in front of me. i am scared of this word. terribly scared. very scared. super scared. i don wanna mention how scared i am. i am freaking scared. i hate it . freaking hate it. i wanna get rid of it. badly wanna get rid of it.
hmm, have u ever wonder whether you can make someone's day? you never know you can do the magic. ha! maybe because you are too hot and girls are paying attention to you, and get happy upon seeing you. or maybe you are too gorgeous that guys can't take their eyes off you. hmm, don be surprise, if u are a hot guy, or a gorgeous lady, you can do just that. ha!
why must people have this arrogant expression or attitude? like as if the whole world own them something. how nice if everyone can be friendly towards each other. i mean there is no need to be so up up high up, looking down on people. you never know, maybe one day you will be treated this way as well. cos i always believe what comes around goes around. just a simple `thank you' is that so difficult? or just a gentle smile, that would make everything better. is it?
if people say that you will only show temper and show your true feelings infront of people who you are close with, then i guess i am bad mood every single day. it is sad that i realise that i hardly talk to my family, i don even ask much. when i think about it that day, it's so pathetic. i am the kind of person that tends to care only when something happen. but then, sometimes, some words hurt and they don't even know.
woo, i saw alot of nice expensive cars that particular day. so many rich kids hanging out . to them, poor seems just so far far away. my fren was tellin her fren, maybe he doesn't even know how a hawker center looks like. ha! maybe, you will never know. a thousand plus for one accessories, which takes me maybe half a year of workin part time to save that amount of money. can you people see the constrast between rich people and poor people. ha! sounds damm sad.
christmas is coming, another year is ending, this year has just flew by without me knowing it. what will comes after that? i don know. i don even know my future.
won't you want your future to turn out to be what u expect and dream about? or u would like to see a twist in your future? i wouldn't want to know my answer. ha!
my fren told me that, the answer is that you feel that you are important and be cared. i guess important weighs alot. it just showed your status when you stand. suddenly, i want a handsome big brother, so when i have problem i can go to him, and he will help me. why handsome? ha! so i can intro him to my frens. haha....i am crazy....
don ever mention projects in front of me. i am scared of this word. terribly scared. very scared. super scared. i don wanna mention how scared i am. i am freaking scared. i hate it . freaking hate it. i wanna get rid of it. badly wanna get rid of it.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
once a life of luxury, then it went down to poverty
have been wondering about alot of things. my determination for my passion has returned! ha!
i have been observing people around me, have i ever wonder whether i have been observed ? i pay attention to people's actions, have it ever occur that people pay attention to me? funny is it?
have it ever occur to you that, maybe you actually met your Mr.right somewhere before you both get to know each other? maybe he is on the escalator going down and you going up? or maybe you both just walked passed each other? or maybe you both cabbie side by side? or maybe you both cramped in a crowded lift? has it ever come into your mind that all this things might happen? this thoughts just went through my mind today when i was taking the escalator. interestin theory of mine.
it doesnt matter what i wrote, i just went with my mind and flow.
what would you do, if you saw a expensive pants that you love?
buy it? give it a miss? or invest on something better?
christmas is coming. [green` red` white` ;christmas]
what i want for christmas............
what do i want? i want a happy christmas.
[joy` happiness` laughter ;christmas+new year]
what i want for new year.........
what do i want? i want a brand new fresh year.
[excitment` anxious` future` ;new year]
i want alot of gifts for my christmas.
i want santa to give me joy,happiness and qualifications.
ha! that's sound funny.
or maybe i was never funny. a self illusion that i create for myself
-- to be funny.
ha!
time is late, and i am not falling asleep.
i sleep late yet i got up early.
is there anything wrong?
dreams don want me,
breakfast calling me.
ha! not funny
god, i am crazy.
blabbering rubbish?
"did i ever think that it will end"
"did i ever mention that i want it to end"
"did i ever think about ending it"
"did i ever really wants it to end"
"did everything come to an end"
have been wondering about alot of things. my determination for my passion has returned! ha!
i have been observing people around me, have i ever wonder whether i have been observed ? i pay attention to people's actions, have it ever occur that people pay attention to me? funny is it?
have it ever occur to you that, maybe you actually met your Mr.right somewhere before you both get to know each other? maybe he is on the escalator going down and you going up? or maybe you both just walked passed each other? or maybe you both cabbie side by side? or maybe you both cramped in a crowded lift? has it ever come into your mind that all this things might happen? this thoughts just went through my mind today when i was taking the escalator. interestin theory of mine.
it doesnt matter what i wrote, i just went with my mind and flow.
what would you do, if you saw a expensive pants that you love?
buy it? give it a miss? or invest on something better?
christmas is coming. [green` red` white` ;christmas]
what i want for christmas............
what do i want? i want a happy christmas.
[joy` happiness` laughter ;christmas+new year]
what i want for new year.........
what do i want? i want a brand new fresh year.
[excitment` anxious` future` ;new year]
i want alot of gifts for my christmas.
i want santa to give me joy,happiness and qualifications.
ha! that's sound funny.
or maybe i was never funny. a self illusion that i create for myself
-- to be funny.
ha!
time is late, and i am not falling asleep.
i sleep late yet i got up early.
is there anything wrong?
dreams don want me,
breakfast calling me.
ha! not funny
god, i am crazy.
blabbering rubbish?
"did i ever think that it will end"
"did i ever mention that i want it to end"
"did i ever think about ending it"
"did i ever really wants it to end"
"did everything come to an end"
Sunday, November 26, 2006
recently there are so many nice chinese songs, all very meaningful... esp this 2 songs, i have got feelings for it...
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/130742ht.htm --
爱我好吗 (卓文萱)
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/129888ht.htm -- 我可以 (蔡旻佑)
seriously, try listening to this 2 songs, greatly recommended.
hmm,i was watching back one drama serials, Devil Beside You. without fail that i will always be touched by the show. no matter how many times i watched, i will always be touched by the show, always cry. am i such a fragile person?
recently, alot of people mention to me that i should do things that i want to do, that i think i am right, that i should do things for myself. then one mag's horoscope said the same thing, i should think for myself and make myself happy. sometimes, you have to believe this kind of thing. ha!
so let's think back and stop making myself such a noble person that i always think of myself. do i? maybe one friends or people who are worth me doing then i will do it for them regardless of me feeling unhappy.
so, finally i did one thing for myself, that's to stop netball. hmm, will it really be a good thing? maybe yes, maybe no. i don't know. who knows in the end, i might be the one who regret everything. but again, there's no point me staying.
there are so many things i want to do, i wish to do, i want to say. but then, when will i be able to start everything that i want. now i am sure what i want to study. again and again, i am addicted to really study fashion, excited to really being able to study fashion. but there is still a long way for me to go. real long way. i might not be gifted in this field but at least i am doing something i like. hmm, guess for me doing something i like is prettyy much important.
had so many dreams, countless of dreams. circling around the same bunch of people always appearing in my dream. today might be you, the next day might be her. who knows, but how come people keep appearing in my dream. too funny.
when i am addicted to something, i will be real addicted to something. ha! am i talkin rubbish. yea. maybe. ha!
i love drivin alone at night. i really wanna try driving alone at night one day. drive to woodlands, or AYE(ECP) my favourite expressway. cos i will be listening to my songs, thinking about something nobody to disturb me. can set my mind thinking. of cos i cant wander far away. my mind can be thinking but my eyes on the road. actually i sort of like sending my friends home. maybe is pretty fresh for me. thats why i don mind. who knows if i do it frequently, i will be tired of it? ha! i am a fickle-minded person. i really am!
girl's talk? catching up with the past.... nothing much. what should i do if i really miss you guys? i will be far away from you guys. no longer close. no longer bonded. but i chose this path. i gave up all the 7 years i stayed in this sport. my passion run away because of problems and because of my priority changed. but trust me, you guys will be the true friends i once had in poly! :) good luck in ivp. i will be rooting for you guys! i wont be physically down, cos if i see u guys played i wanna be part of it. but i will definitely be mentally supporting you all! ha! another part of my fickle minded! ha!
how come so many sad things always happen in my life?
the only happy thing? hmm, that's my dear frennie. thank Q!
rattling rubbish--
"did i become a stupid woman again"
"i hope i didnt"
"did it occur that it did"
"no i didnt"
"see, am i not a stupid woman?"
"that can really make me stupid"
"can it?"
"yes, it just did"
"stupid woman"
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/130742ht.htm --
爱我好吗 (卓文萱)
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/129888ht.htm -- 我可以 (蔡旻佑)
seriously, try listening to this 2 songs, greatly recommended.
hmm,i was watching back one drama serials, Devil Beside You. without fail that i will always be touched by the show. no matter how many times i watched, i will always be touched by the show, always cry. am i such a fragile person?
recently, alot of people mention to me that i should do things that i want to do, that i think i am right, that i should do things for myself. then one mag's horoscope said the same thing, i should think for myself and make myself happy. sometimes, you have to believe this kind of thing. ha!
so let's think back and stop making myself such a noble person that i always think of myself. do i? maybe one friends or people who are worth me doing then i will do it for them regardless of me feeling unhappy.
so, finally i did one thing for myself, that's to stop netball. hmm, will it really be a good thing? maybe yes, maybe no. i don't know. who knows in the end, i might be the one who regret everything. but again, there's no point me staying.
there are so many things i want to do, i wish to do, i want to say. but then, when will i be able to start everything that i want. now i am sure what i want to study. again and again, i am addicted to really study fashion, excited to really being able to study fashion. but there is still a long way for me to go. real long way. i might not be gifted in this field but at least i am doing something i like. hmm, guess for me doing something i like is prettyy much important.
had so many dreams, countless of dreams. circling around the same bunch of people always appearing in my dream. today might be you, the next day might be her. who knows, but how come people keep appearing in my dream. too funny.
when i am addicted to something, i will be real addicted to something. ha! am i talkin rubbish. yea. maybe. ha!
i love drivin alone at night. i really wanna try driving alone at night one day. drive to woodlands, or AYE(ECP) my favourite expressway. cos i will be listening to my songs, thinking about something nobody to disturb me. can set my mind thinking. of cos i cant wander far away. my mind can be thinking but my eyes on the road. actually i sort of like sending my friends home. maybe is pretty fresh for me. thats why i don mind. who knows if i do it frequently, i will be tired of it? ha! i am a fickle-minded person. i really am!
girl's talk? catching up with the past.... nothing much. what should i do if i really miss you guys? i will be far away from you guys. no longer close. no longer bonded. but i chose this path. i gave up all the 7 years i stayed in this sport. my passion run away because of problems and because of my priority changed. but trust me, you guys will be the true friends i once had in poly! :) good luck in ivp. i will be rooting for you guys! i wont be physically down, cos if i see u guys played i wanna be part of it. but i will definitely be mentally supporting you all! ha! another part of my fickle minded! ha!
how come so many sad things always happen in my life?
the only happy thing? hmm, that's my dear frennie. thank Q!
rattling rubbish--
"did i become a stupid woman again"
"i hope i didnt"
"did it occur that it did"
"no i didnt"
"see, am i not a stupid woman?"
"that can really make me stupid"
"can it?"
"yes, it just did"
"stupid woman"
Saturday, November 18, 2006
woo, what a tiring week..may be alittle loss for words. there are so many things i haven do, yet i still have some many things i am worrying about. so many things are on my mind, i have yet to settle one, i have one more problem rise up.
i always yearn to go back to school cos i love school life. however, i am not loving it that much though. too many things for me to handle and do. i really want to break down but i know i cant cos if i do that, means i give up. so i keep tellin myself i must hang in there, cos in the end i wanna be proud of myself. i wanna be proud that i endure this ordeal, i wanna be proud that i done what i thought i can;t, i wanna be proud, jus be proud of myself. so i must hang in there now knowing what the ending will be. just hang in there! this is the period that i might learn alot, learn how to handle difficult clients and members, learn how to handle time, learn how to handle things by myself. be more independent...
i always know that, if i treat people good, the vice versa thing might not happen on me. though i know that people might not treat me good back, i still treat people good, cos i put myself in their shoes, as i won't want to suffer like they do. so, i am just doing myself a favor too. but some might be too overboard for me to even give myself the excuse to be nice.
world is turning every seconds, every minutes, i am getting tired gettin day by day, i am gettin old year by year. but how come i can't change my life?
i don't wanna be a stupid woman, why i say that? ha! don't wanna spell it out....... i will just put some serious thought about it when i am not so busy.
i can't believe that i didn't sleep for one day rushin for my assignment. i am amaze yet i enjoyed the moment. cos it was spent with jiayi and cher..... we had lots and lots of laughters. it was hell fun and tiring though..haha..
"i still wanna know"
"yet it isn't there"
"when will i stop?"
"when this will end?"
"please end here"
i always yearn to go back to school cos i love school life. however, i am not loving it that much though. too many things for me to handle and do. i really want to break down but i know i cant cos if i do that, means i give up. so i keep tellin myself i must hang in there, cos in the end i wanna be proud of myself. i wanna be proud that i endure this ordeal, i wanna be proud that i done what i thought i can;t, i wanna be proud, jus be proud of myself. so i must hang in there now knowing what the ending will be. just hang in there! this is the period that i might learn alot, learn how to handle difficult clients and members, learn how to handle time, learn how to handle things by myself. be more independent...
i always know that, if i treat people good, the vice versa thing might not happen on me. though i know that people might not treat me good back, i still treat people good, cos i put myself in their shoes, as i won't want to suffer like they do. so, i am just doing myself a favor too. but some might be too overboard for me to even give myself the excuse to be nice.
world is turning every seconds, every minutes, i am getting tired gettin day by day, i am gettin old year by year. but how come i can't change my life?
i don't wanna be a stupid woman, why i say that? ha! don't wanna spell it out....... i will just put some serious thought about it when i am not so busy.
i can't believe that i didn't sleep for one day rushin for my assignment. i am amaze yet i enjoyed the moment. cos it was spent with jiayi and cher..... we had lots and lots of laughters. it was hell fun and tiring though..haha..
"i still wanna know"
"yet it isn't there"
"when will i stop?"
"when this will end?"
"please end here"
Saturday, November 11, 2006
right now i am online
"of cos i am online, if not how am i supposed to blog"
funny ass.... ha! but i am in my room.... my internet area supposed to be in the storeroom, ha, i manage to gain wireless network with my school laptop. cool ya!
i have alot of pictures i want to share. very nice pictures, but i am not sure whether i have the rights to post those pictures online. cos, legal issues very strict online. ha! there are so many things i always have thinkings for.
everytime i do something or see something, i would think alot.
let's talk about my dream last night. god, i had such a tiring dream. i dreamt i was being chased! chased by bad people. but have no idea who they are. i just now that i have to run for my life. then, on the road, me and my fren stole bicycles as a tool to run away, hmm, who is my fren? i don't remember. it was so scary. i just keep on running, alot of things happen in my dream. there are more. but, in the first place, why would i dreamt of being chased? is not the first time i dreamt of this kind of action-packed dreams. funny isn't it.
dreams? what does it reflect about? we think too much in reality thats why we bring our worries into our dreams? we are too stress in reality thats why we dream? dreams? can they be trusted? how come suddenly, i am so related to dreams. i am scared to sleep,partly because of dreams. cos out of 10 times, 7 times i dreamt of bad stuffs. thats why dream isn't a good thing to me.
pictures, tell alot. it means alot. some consist of beautiful memories, unspoken meaning, touching hearts. how you take a picture reflects how you felt. it is a skill people needs to learn, an interest that people would love. once, pictures to me is to help me remember my feelings at certain point of time. but now pictures is to help me track back my footprints, where i set my feet on. i like black and white pictures, cos it tells it all, i fisheye lens cos you are trying to tell something. what about you?
there are so many worries i have, yet i am still doing nothing...
christmas is coming, once it was my favourite festival. but i don know whether it stilll will be.
cos christmas is always full of joy and fun, yet i know all theses could't be found on me. so i am afraid of christmas.
how will this "merry christmas" be?
"i don't know me"
"i don't know you"
"who knows you and me"
"i don't know"
"of cos i am online, if not how am i supposed to blog"
funny ass.... ha! but i am in my room.... my internet area supposed to be in the storeroom, ha, i manage to gain wireless network with my school laptop. cool ya!
i have alot of pictures i want to share. very nice pictures, but i am not sure whether i have the rights to post those pictures online. cos, legal issues very strict online. ha! there are so many things i always have thinkings for.
everytime i do something or see something, i would think alot.
let's talk about my dream last night. god, i had such a tiring dream. i dreamt i was being chased! chased by bad people. but have no idea who they are. i just now that i have to run for my life. then, on the road, me and my fren stole bicycles as a tool to run away, hmm, who is my fren? i don't remember. it was so scary. i just keep on running, alot of things happen in my dream. there are more. but, in the first place, why would i dreamt of being chased? is not the first time i dreamt of this kind of action-packed dreams. funny isn't it.
dreams? what does it reflect about? we think too much in reality thats why we bring our worries into our dreams? we are too stress in reality thats why we dream? dreams? can they be trusted? how come suddenly, i am so related to dreams. i am scared to sleep,partly because of dreams. cos out of 10 times, 7 times i dreamt of bad stuffs. thats why dream isn't a good thing to me.
pictures, tell alot. it means alot. some consist of beautiful memories, unspoken meaning, touching hearts. how you take a picture reflects how you felt. it is a skill people needs to learn, an interest that people would love. once, pictures to me is to help me remember my feelings at certain point of time. but now pictures is to help me track back my footprints, where i set my feet on. i like black and white pictures, cos it tells it all, i fisheye lens cos you are trying to tell something. what about you?
there are so many worries i have, yet i am still doing nothing...
christmas is coming, once it was my favourite festival. but i don know whether it stilll will be.
cos christmas is always full of joy and fun, yet i know all theses could't be found on me. so i am afraid of christmas.
how will this "merry christmas" be?
"i don't know me"
"i don't know you"
"who knows you and me"
"i don't know"
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
standing in the middle of the buzzing orchard road, saw alot of foreigners with their childern, then i stood there wondering, how it will feel like if i am a caucasian's child, with blonde hair, looks like a barbie doll havin all the eyes on me cos i am not local, with a special english accent different from the locals here. of cos, if i am a caucasian's kid, i will attract all the envious stares jus because i am not local. if back at america, i wont invite such envious stares.
people tend to envy of what others have and forget those good things that they have also.
imagine, singapore is so small, and you can never meet your Mr. right, but yet you met him in a foreign country. what i am trying to say here is, maybe there is really fate in them. cos havin living in such a small country singapore, you also didn't manage to bump into him, but being a stranger in the foreign country, realise that both of you are from the same country. maybe this is what fate call. but on the other hand, sometimes fate likes to play a prank on people.
i never know how to spell hell before i work on my fyp, know i can see i am meeting my doom. with all the shitty things given, already had not very good members, plus super shitty client, somemore plus a demanding supervisor... i think i bring bad luck everywhere. why can't just one thing work out for me? it is so depressing. meant to enjoy my last sems in school, but i think suffering might be a better word.
sometimes acting like a fool is good, there will be so many things you won't have to know and people wont force you to accept things you dont wish.
i am trying to be a better person, trying to be a more patient person, tryin to be a caring person, trying to jus be more tolerant. what defines a good person?
help the poor?
stand up for the good?
always the one being bully?
tell me what a good person is?
i always got this feelin that i bring bad luck to whoever that comes near me, cos never once a good thing happen to me, even it does, i won't believe. cos nothing comes free.
"no, you can't just keep waiting"
"No!, you should keep on waiting!"
"okie, i shall just keep on moving!"
people tend to envy of what others have and forget those good things that they have also.
imagine, singapore is so small, and you can never meet your Mr. right, but yet you met him in a foreign country. what i am trying to say here is, maybe there is really fate in them. cos havin living in such a small country singapore, you also didn't manage to bump into him, but being a stranger in the foreign country, realise that both of you are from the same country. maybe this is what fate call. but on the other hand, sometimes fate likes to play a prank on people.
i never know how to spell hell before i work on my fyp, know i can see i am meeting my doom. with all the shitty things given, already had not very good members, plus super shitty client, somemore plus a demanding supervisor... i think i bring bad luck everywhere. why can't just one thing work out for me? it is so depressing. meant to enjoy my last sems in school, but i think suffering might be a better word.
sometimes acting like a fool is good, there will be so many things you won't have to know and people wont force you to accept things you dont wish.
i am trying to be a better person, trying to be a more patient person, tryin to be a caring person, trying to jus be more tolerant. what defines a good person?
help the poor?
stand up for the good?
always the one being bully?
tell me what a good person is?
i always got this feelin that i bring bad luck to whoever that comes near me, cos never once a good thing happen to me, even it does, i won't believe. cos nothing comes free.
"no, you can't just keep waiting"
"No!, you should keep on waiting!"
"okie, i shall just keep on moving!"
Friday, November 03, 2006
once, i realise something from a show. there are 2 guys and 1 lady, guy A,guy B and lady C. lady C like guy A. guy B likes lady C. jus imagine them queueing in one straight line. it will be like guy A standing in the first of the row, lady C in the second then followed by guy B. lady C will be looking at guy A while guy B will be looking at lady C. this situation always happen. lady C will do anything for guy A while guy B will do anything for lady C. i guess love relationships are always very complicated and confusing.
there is a past of me which i hated the most, everytime when someone reminds me of the past, i cannot take it. i was disgusted by my own doings and irritated by myself. that's the only past which i wished i could erase.
again, i waked up immediately after i had 8 hours of sleep. Argh! why can't i sleep for 10 hours,12 hours or even 15 hours. why i am only allowed 8 hours? :(
i avoided the dinner session cos i don't wanna see the fake side of me. i am so fake. trust me, i can be like one.
there are so much things to say, but i just can't express....
guess i am not so important, yea i agree...........
there is a past of me which i hated the most, everytime when someone reminds me of the past, i cannot take it. i was disgusted by my own doings and irritated by myself. that's the only past which i wished i could erase.
again, i waked up immediately after i had 8 hours of sleep. Argh! why can't i sleep for 10 hours,12 hours or even 15 hours. why i am only allowed 8 hours? :(
i avoided the dinner session cos i don't wanna see the fake side of me. i am so fake. trust me, i can be like one.
there are so much things to say, but i just can't express....
guess i am not so important, yea i agree...........
Friday, October 27, 2006
jus got rid of an flyin insect.... so scary
people please visit http://www.diamontewings.blogspot.com
there are alot of blings blings and beautiful accessories just for you. do drop by when u are free or in need of accessories for any occassion.
i believe in 10 years time, singapore will change into a better country, i don know why i this feeling, but after i been to vivo city, i can sense the changing in Singapore shopping scene? or am i thinking too much...
vivo city, the modernalise shopping mall, the mall that suits just for everyone, children,teenagers,adults,elderly,female and male... just for everyone. good concept, good design, good ideas... haha... am i paid to help promote vivo city?
recently, i am watching korean drama again, thats "goong (princess hours)". once again, love story, romantic drama..
show how much the guy love the girl, how much the girl love the guy. is always this storyline, but what capture audience to watch it? i guess, is how the different actors express their feelings or their different way of acting.
arranged marriage? is it good or bad? sounds like your destiny has already been planned, you won't need to search for you "crown prince" but he will just appeared before you when the time is right. he might not be the one you like, but as time goes by, you will find that he is jus your "crown prince".
love can be nutured. feelings developed. everything will then slowly fall apart, and fall in the right place.
arranged marriage, why not? ha!
mood swings, what causes mood swings? there must be a cause of mood swings, i hate the cause. ha!
it was never true, it was fake,
i am putting up a fake front to realise that it was true.
happy? no no... sad............
pls pls, go away.....
people please visit http://www.diamontewings.blogspot.com
there are alot of blings blings and beautiful accessories just for you. do drop by when u are free or in need of accessories for any occassion.
i believe in 10 years time, singapore will change into a better country, i don know why i this feeling, but after i been to vivo city, i can sense the changing in Singapore shopping scene? or am i thinking too much...
vivo city, the modernalise shopping mall, the mall that suits just for everyone, children,teenagers,adults,elderly,female and male... just for everyone. good concept, good design, good ideas... haha... am i paid to help promote vivo city?
recently, i am watching korean drama again, thats "goong (princess hours)". once again, love story, romantic drama..
show how much the guy love the girl, how much the girl love the guy. is always this storyline, but what capture audience to watch it? i guess, is how the different actors express their feelings or their different way of acting.
arranged marriage? is it good or bad? sounds like your destiny has already been planned, you won't need to search for you "crown prince" but he will just appeared before you when the time is right. he might not be the one you like, but as time goes by, you will find that he is jus your "crown prince".
love can be nutured. feelings developed. everything will then slowly fall apart, and fall in the right place.
arranged marriage, why not? ha!
mood swings, what causes mood swings? there must be a cause of mood swings, i hate the cause. ha!
it was never true, it was fake,
i am putting up a fake front to realise that it was true.
happy? no no... sad............
pls pls, go away.....
Monday, October 23, 2006
i don't know what got into me, i cried myself to sleep last night... i really don't understand my own actions, or my reason for doin that, i am confused. is it because of the drama? but it was happy ending........ i think i cried too much that i even dreamt that i cried... i remembered the dream, i cried very terribly, but don know because of what again.... am i bring my real life into my own dream? i don't know....
sometimes, is weird when couple quarrel. old couples still quarrel. because of small things, they quarrel. maybe people will think that, since they are old couple, they will handle situation better, but i think they got it worse.. when people quarrel, they are childish. when people are angry, they dont think normally. these are little things people do wrong when they are not in the right mind. people make mistakes, but most importantly is that you realise your mistakes and don't ever make the same mistake again.
there are so many things i kept cos there is no one to share, once i avoided those fairytale dramas, cos i know i will be too into it...fairytale, which girl doesn't wish for fairytales. but again, is too fake to be true. many a times, you won't know when is the right one coming, you keep on searching, but on the road, you will find some meaning in life, thats the gain you will receive...
is it so diffcult to take up some time? i wonder......
is it too much of a habit? i ponder....
there it is.....i can't find.....
sometimes, is weird when couple quarrel. old couples still quarrel. because of small things, they quarrel. maybe people will think that, since they are old couple, they will handle situation better, but i think they got it worse.. when people quarrel, they are childish. when people are angry, they dont think normally. these are little things people do wrong when they are not in the right mind. people make mistakes, but most importantly is that you realise your mistakes and don't ever make the same mistake again.
there are so many things i kept cos there is no one to share, once i avoided those fairytale dramas, cos i know i will be too into it...fairytale, which girl doesn't wish for fairytales. but again, is too fake to be true. many a times, you won't know when is the right one coming, you keep on searching, but on the road, you will find some meaning in life, thats the gain you will receive...
is it so diffcult to take up some time? i wonder......
is it too much of a habit? i ponder....
there it is.....i can't find.....
Sunday, October 22, 2006
i couldnt get to sleep... why is it that to people, sleeping seems like an easy task, but it was never for me... seems like i have to hoax myself to sleep every night... sleeping is just a difficult task to me... i am sleepy, i want to sleep but i just cant seems to fall asleep, i don understand why... my mental?
has it been too much of a habit? thats why i find it hard to forget? it might be.... it might not be.... i am stuck in a confused state....
has it been too much of a habit? thats why i find it hard to forget? it might be.... it might not be.... i am stuck in a confused state....
Monday, October 16, 2006
browsing through some magazine, i realise sometimes i can learn alot from magazines. things they said, their own point of view, people's point of view, is so different. women should know how to protect themselves, without letting themselves get hurt. i realise i already built a wall surrounding me, protecting me. maybe that is so... once or twice, the wall falls apart, but i built it up slowly again. i hide myself inside the wall.
how come i always only stand a chance to envy people but things often wont happen on me? why do i always let people control my emotions? why do i accomodate people? but then, i did asked for the chance, is it trying to test me? but an old phrase say it, "it oftens take two hands to clap" .
i am amazed at how some people interpret relationships. what is the thing that attract you to that person? what is the feeling that you feel when you know that he/she is the one? how sure are you that you are in love? isn't it interesting to find out all this questions? or is just me that is interested in all this? ha!
LOVE! four heavenly words... this 4 words could make anyone happy! what a magic word! isn't it? just a simple 4 letters words, and anyone could be flyin up in the sky. it is so funny and amusing.
another 4 letters words that will make anyone upset! that is HATE! i HATE you! anyone hears it, he/she will definitely be upset over it. nobody will want to be hate by anyone. HATE is jus the opposite of LOVE! just how amazing words can affect one's emotions.
has it always been misreading too much over some actions?
if that is so,
great,
give a signal
and end it.
confident, with confident you will have the drive to do anything you think you are capable of. but without confident, not only others will look down on you, but you will also look down on yourself. i always know that i am not good, not good enough to be a friend, not good enough to be this, not good enough to be that. i am tired of this feeling. i don wanna be not good enough. so irritating......
my dear fren left town, and i am missing her...........
school is different without her.......................
and i wanna an answer..........
how come i always only stand a chance to envy people but things often wont happen on me? why do i always let people control my emotions? why do i accomodate people? but then, i did asked for the chance, is it trying to test me? but an old phrase say it, "it oftens take two hands to clap" .
i am amazed at how some people interpret relationships. what is the thing that attract you to that person? what is the feeling that you feel when you know that he/she is the one? how sure are you that you are in love? isn't it interesting to find out all this questions? or is just me that is interested in all this? ha!
LOVE! four heavenly words... this 4 words could make anyone happy! what a magic word! isn't it? just a simple 4 letters words, and anyone could be flyin up in the sky. it is so funny and amusing.
another 4 letters words that will make anyone upset! that is HATE! i HATE you! anyone hears it, he/she will definitely be upset over it. nobody will want to be hate by anyone. HATE is jus the opposite of LOVE! just how amazing words can affect one's emotions.
has it always been misreading too much over some actions?
if that is so,
great,
give a signal
and end it.
confident, with confident you will have the drive to do anything you think you are capable of. but without confident, not only others will look down on you, but you will also look down on yourself. i always know that i am not good, not good enough to be a friend, not good enough to be this, not good enough to be that. i am tired of this feeling. i don wanna be not good enough. so irritating......
my dear fren left town, and i am missing her...........
school is different without her.......................
and i wanna an answer..........
Saturday, October 14, 2006
i don believe in birthday wishes, or whatever wishes. cos they always didnt come true. isn't it? my wish always didnt come true, then why in the first place, we have to wish?
every year, a birthday cake,3 wishes. why only 3? why can't i wish for 5? 10? 15? why 3? whats the point in making 3 wishes when they don't come true? makin wishes only make people waiting for the wish to come true... so, it will be like a fool waitin for a wish to come true, when it won't....
does anyone's birthday wish really came true? i want to know.
why do we have to celebrate birthday? to mark the day we were born? it is just tryin to remind us how old we are? isn't that true?
this week has totally been a screwed up week for me. i don believe friday the 13th. people say it is bad, i don believe but i believe it now. cos the entire week was totally screwed up. my fren say, i would be lucky on the friday the 13th, i thought i really will. but i knew from the start, luck is always not with me. thats so funny. so i don believe in lucky things. i am always unlucky.
or is it i complain too much to do anything? i can only complain and still complain non-stop?
but anyway, i still wanna thanks my dearly lovely fren, jiayi, she did make it better. really better. and those who turn up..thank you...
next, of cos to my team-mates. they fought hard in the game. thank you. at least i didnt have a sad birthday. so thank you. we won! but the week was too tired for me to enjoy it. but i appreciate the effort. really. i could feel the effort esp my fren, meijie! thank you. of cos to my loves, team mates. mary, diana,wei,foo and birdy...
but i hope when in the end i made any decision regarding netball, pls don't blame me :)
i really love u guys!
next of cos to those who wished me, greatly appreciated!
i could really sense disater coming, and i hate to deal with that....................
every year, a birthday cake,3 wishes. why only 3? why can't i wish for 5? 10? 15? why 3? whats the point in making 3 wishes when they don't come true? makin wishes only make people waiting for the wish to come true... so, it will be like a fool waitin for a wish to come true, when it won't....
does anyone's birthday wish really came true? i want to know.
why do we have to celebrate birthday? to mark the day we were born? it is just tryin to remind us how old we are? isn't that true?
this week has totally been a screwed up week for me. i don believe friday the 13th. people say it is bad, i don believe but i believe it now. cos the entire week was totally screwed up. my fren say, i would be lucky on the friday the 13th, i thought i really will. but i knew from the start, luck is always not with me. thats so funny. so i don believe in lucky things. i am always unlucky.
or is it i complain too much to do anything? i can only complain and still complain non-stop?
but anyway, i still wanna thanks my dearly lovely fren, jiayi, she did make it better. really better. and those who turn up..thank you...
next, of cos to my team-mates. they fought hard in the game. thank you. at least i didnt have a sad birthday. so thank you. we won! but the week was too tired for me to enjoy it. but i appreciate the effort. really. i could feel the effort esp my fren, meijie! thank you. of cos to my loves, team mates. mary, diana,wei,foo and birdy...
but i hope when in the end i made any decision regarding netball, pls don't blame me :)
i really love u guys!
next of cos to those who wished me, greatly appreciated!
i could really sense disater coming, and i hate to deal with that....................
Saturday, October 07, 2006
the haze is really bad, i get feel sore throat invading me! i hate that feeling, the feeling is nowhere there, seems like u are getting, but u are not those kinda of feeling. the first time i see singapore been so hazy, too hazy then i feel that all our health will be affected. i would rather stay at home. it terrible.
i made my decision, no matter what i hope my mental will be strong to overcome it. am i always the unlucky one? why people just enter the squad, and they are guarantee a position? but people like us working hard previously are not considered? we are not good enough? i don know. just that i hope i wont change my decision. guess i had enough of 7 years into this. is time for me to relax and enjoy my last semster in school.
i parted with my 2 years phone. i like that phone, but i have to part with it, cos is getting old and i cant keep it with me cos i wont have money to buy a new phone, so my 2 year old phone is gone, everything inside is gone too, i miss my 2 year old phone. though i have a new phone now, something is still missing.
alot of people question me why i want this new phone of mine. but i wanted it long ago, since it was produced, i saw it, i immediately like it. and somemore i wanted to try a flip up phone.
sometimes, you just want to try somethin new, to find that old one is still the best isnt it? haha...
i gave up a small dream of mine, i have always wanted to live and work in another country to learn about their living lifestyle and habits and everything, i was given an opportunity, but my parents disapproved. i was pissed! totally pissed! cos i know i will regret if i didnt go. but i cant go if they disapproved. this is so much of what i wanted! moreover is USA. so much so i would love to go there! i am not going there to play but is to work and travel and play at the same time. i know the worries they have, but i think i am big and sensible enough to know whats bad at least. i lost the chance and i am regretting it. i hate the regret feeling.......maybe i will only understand more when i am a parent myself. but now i just cant simply understand.
i wonder 10 years down the road what will singapore be like? a more modern and hip country? it is pretty interesting how a country can develop to be. is amazing how the changes can be so fast. many things will change. its getting so scary. i wont wanna think about it.
i was watching "the hills" by my beloved Lauren! haha...
she is living the live exactly what i yearn for. don talk about how rich she is. just talk about her current studies, current jobs and her current living town!
she is studyin fashion! -- thats what i want
she is an intern at teen vogue! -- which she can be present at alot of runways and see how the process runs and see know alot of designer and people relating to design!
she is living in san francisco! -- how i wish i could live there to study at the FDIM there!
and receently she was been picked to go Paris for a work assignment! god, isnt that a dream come true?
i envy her! she is living such a nice life doing what she loves, bein with the person who loved her and she is just 20 years old. the same as me, can yoiu believe it. but i am still a nobody here.
the though about it is so irritating.. haha..
i hope this coming 3 weeks will passed soon so that i could get out of there. definitely i will miss the girls. but then like foo said " we cant pleased everyone and we cant pleased ourselves" pretty true, so why not made a decision that i feel comfortable with and they are no lack of defenders! yea.....
i reach the peak of my bloggin, i am stuck in what to blog already. haha..
i should stop for a month to refresh myself.
i made my decision, no matter what i hope my mental will be strong to overcome it. am i always the unlucky one? why people just enter the squad, and they are guarantee a position? but people like us working hard previously are not considered? we are not good enough? i don know. just that i hope i wont change my decision. guess i had enough of 7 years into this. is time for me to relax and enjoy my last semster in school.
i parted with my 2 years phone. i like that phone, but i have to part with it, cos is getting old and i cant keep it with me cos i wont have money to buy a new phone, so my 2 year old phone is gone, everything inside is gone too, i miss my 2 year old phone. though i have a new phone now, something is still missing.
alot of people question me why i want this new phone of mine. but i wanted it long ago, since it was produced, i saw it, i immediately like it. and somemore i wanted to try a flip up phone.
sometimes, you just want to try somethin new, to find that old one is still the best isnt it? haha...
i gave up a small dream of mine, i have always wanted to live and work in another country to learn about their living lifestyle and habits and everything, i was given an opportunity, but my parents disapproved. i was pissed! totally pissed! cos i know i will regret if i didnt go. but i cant go if they disapproved. this is so much of what i wanted! moreover is USA. so much so i would love to go there! i am not going there to play but is to work and travel and play at the same time. i know the worries they have, but i think i am big and sensible enough to know whats bad at least. i lost the chance and i am regretting it. i hate the regret feeling.......maybe i will only understand more when i am a parent myself. but now i just cant simply understand.
i wonder 10 years down the road what will singapore be like? a more modern and hip country? it is pretty interesting how a country can develop to be. is amazing how the changes can be so fast. many things will change. its getting so scary. i wont wanna think about it.
i was watching "the hills" by my beloved Lauren! haha...
she is living the live exactly what i yearn for. don talk about how rich she is. just talk about her current studies, current jobs and her current living town!
she is studyin fashion! -- thats what i want
she is an intern at teen vogue! -- which she can be present at alot of runways and see how the process runs and see know alot of designer and people relating to design!
she is living in san francisco! -- how i wish i could live there to study at the FDIM there!
and receently she was been picked to go Paris for a work assignment! god, isnt that a dream come true?
i envy her! she is living such a nice life doing what she loves, bein with the person who loved her and she is just 20 years old. the same as me, can yoiu believe it. but i am still a nobody here.
the though about it is so irritating.. haha..
i hope this coming 3 weeks will passed soon so that i could get out of there. definitely i will miss the girls. but then like foo said " we cant pleased everyone and we cant pleased ourselves" pretty true, so why not made a decision that i feel comfortable with and they are no lack of defenders! yea.....
i reach the peak of my bloggin, i am stuck in what to blog already. haha..
i should stop for a month to refresh myself.
Monday, October 02, 2006
have been wantin to blog, but then i couldn't find anything to talk about.
life has been the same all the while.
school has started but my timetable jus simply sucks. but it will get worse when my project offically starts. by then i could sense the disaster..
life is so ironical. i just can't seem to understand humans, what they are trying to do? what are they thinking? what is on their mind? i hate it when i don know where i will be heading to? i hate to stand at the crossroad not knowing which directions i should go. i hate to be in this kind of situation always.
things changes when we want it to stay that way, things stay the same when we hope for changes. isn't this funny?
i don know, it seems that i am good at keeping things to myself. is this a habit already? it has never been a habit for me to say things out. sometimes i feel so miserable keeping everything inside, but i got used to my own life. keepin things to myself. only if people strike on my miserable spot, then will i say all my kept feelings out. is this bad or good? i don know. i have this "theory" of my own. i keep this theory to myself.
i have been tryin very hard to be positive, tryin very hard to be as happy as i could, trying very hard to smile and laugh,trying very hard to keep my mind free, but to no means am i able to do all of the above.
sometimes i think i am crazy, cos i always acted like a fool in front of my friends, allow them to call me a fool.. hmm, is this the real me?
isnt all these funny?
why am i still in netball? whahaha...the funniest joke for me of this whole year!
i think i am not a good fren criteria! pls don ask for a fren like me........
some people are just purely lucky for the whole of their life.....
i've watch "the devil wears prada"... don't everyone agree that Andy is jus so lucky to have been chosen for the job? and i know she works real hard to secure her job, but she needs a chance for a breakthrough. and the makeover was extreme wonderful, she became so pretty and stylish. thats so amazing. people with authority can give u a chance or can screw u up. depends on your luck..
"hard work pays off" but they seem that they haven complete the sentence...
"hard work pays off only when you are give a chance to prove your ability"
isnt that true? am i thinking too much?
i don know since when i have start bitching about people behind their back. i know this isnt a good thing. but certain things people do, i just cant stand. so is it right to bitch about people? i think my next greatest hobby is bitching about people...that's so sad.
me and jiayi started our accessories blog.. i am jus alittle impress with myself, cos i never imagine i can do those things.. maybe not many people will fancy those that i did, but to me, it still prove alittle achievements.....
people please help to spread around or pls visit the website itself.
its really nice cool and beautiful!!!
www.lego-noire.blogspot.com
life has been the same all the while.
school has started but my timetable jus simply sucks. but it will get worse when my project offically starts. by then i could sense the disaster..
life is so ironical. i just can't seem to understand humans, what they are trying to do? what are they thinking? what is on their mind? i hate it when i don know where i will be heading to? i hate to stand at the crossroad not knowing which directions i should go. i hate to be in this kind of situation always.
things changes when we want it to stay that way, things stay the same when we hope for changes. isn't this funny?
i don know, it seems that i am good at keeping things to myself. is this a habit already? it has never been a habit for me to say things out. sometimes i feel so miserable keeping everything inside, but i got used to my own life. keepin things to myself. only if people strike on my miserable spot, then will i say all my kept feelings out. is this bad or good? i don know. i have this "theory" of my own. i keep this theory to myself.
i have been tryin very hard to be positive, tryin very hard to be as happy as i could, trying very hard to smile and laugh,trying very hard to keep my mind free, but to no means am i able to do all of the above.
sometimes i think i am crazy, cos i always acted like a fool in front of my friends, allow them to call me a fool.. hmm, is this the real me?
isnt all these funny?
why am i still in netball? whahaha...the funniest joke for me of this whole year!
i think i am not a good fren criteria! pls don ask for a fren like me........
some people are just purely lucky for the whole of their life.....
i've watch "the devil wears prada"... don't everyone agree that Andy is jus so lucky to have been chosen for the job? and i know she works real hard to secure her job, but she needs a chance for a breakthrough. and the makeover was extreme wonderful, she became so pretty and stylish. thats so amazing. people with authority can give u a chance or can screw u up. depends on your luck..
"hard work pays off" but they seem that they haven complete the sentence...
"hard work pays off only when you are give a chance to prove your ability"
isnt that true? am i thinking too much?
i don know since when i have start bitching about people behind their back. i know this isnt a good thing. but certain things people do, i just cant stand. so is it right to bitch about people? i think my next greatest hobby is bitching about people...that's so sad.
me and jiayi started our accessories blog.. i am jus alittle impress with myself, cos i never imagine i can do those things.. maybe not many people will fancy those that i did, but to me, it still prove alittle achievements.....
people please help to spread around or pls visit the website itself.
its really nice cool and beautiful!!!
www.lego-noire.blogspot.com
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