i found something interesting. i've got nothing to do, so i went online to search my name, and i found alot of people having the same name as me. i was totally cool by it! haha..if u know what i am trying to say. i thought nobody else will have the same name as me. and those people having the same name as me are those professor, doctor,president of a company. isn't it cool? will i make it there when i am old? haha...
love, god! i surrender to that. why? i have watched too much dramas, too much. i know i love watching this genre of dramas, cos sometimes it can be so sweet, sometimes so sad, and sometimes so happy.but everytime, after i finish one drama, i start thinking, does this kind of love exist in the world? how could it possibly be? love the person until you find it difficult to breathe, wish to see the person every second every minute and every hour and every day, really give the whole heart to that person, willing to die for that person. will i see all this in reality? is too much to take for reality. but everytime i watched drama, i could really feel how much they loved that person, how hurt they felt, how sad they are, how happy are they, but i can't feel the happiness that surround them every moment.
the kind of drama always have the same plot and somehow same storyline, both main cast Girl and Boy love each other, but for some reasons cannot be together, Evil girl and evil boy will come into the picture using every opporunites to ruin the relationship between them, but in end, they not only didnt get what they want, they brought the Girl and Boy closer together, and made them realise more that they need each other. isn't all this plot seems so familiar. though it is similar, i still watch every this kind of drama. i always love the part where the boy always try so hard so hard to protect the girl. however, all this cannot be brought up into real life. have to seperate drama with reality.
so, drama always give me hope, but reality tarnish them! so i hate reality.
i am those fairytale girl.
haha..ppl,please don laugh.
if can, pls go find me non-fairytale girl. i bet almost all of the girls in the world would wish for fairytale love and fairytale living together happily everafter ending. but so sad, i could only find all this in dramas! but whatever, i still can see fairytale somewhere.
musical box, long since i have opened a musical box and listen to all the music. i have always like musical box. it is such a special box, you open up, not looking at a empty box, but when u opened the box, music could be heard, beautiful music, childhood music, interesting music, pink panter music. musical box sounds like magic box. yeah, indeed is a magic box, it can produce sound, isnt is magical? i think i should live in those fairytale times, when prince charming ride a horse and look for me, give me a musical box as present and in the end we live happily everafter...
wahhahhahahahaah!
godness! i am laughing when i wrote that. am i crazy? why did all this sudden came into my mind.
whatever is anything.
people can u believe it? 2 more days, and i will be free from here! ya! here! i will be free. this is so unbelievable. i cant believe it. i am leaving. i have been here for long. i am going leave,and have a good holiday, have a hardworking holiday and start school, dump myself into piles and piles of school work and my part time, then graduate, then work and save money. this is all not my life. my life will only begins when i study what i want to study. that is my life. that is when my interesting life gonna happen. i am not expecting too much, but i will suppress my eager to start studying what i want to earn for that. i am going earn my own money to study what i want. so in the end, if i failed i have no one to blame except me. the most i blame god...
arent i long winded, can talk and write for non stop. anyway, let me report, the time now is 5.32 pm. so it means i have got like 15 more mins to go to say bye bye.
so let me just rant abit more.
i am trying very hard.
trying and trying.
i will be happy with the decision to end what i am suffering
but sad for the result though it is what i should deserve,
wonderful fairytale,
ugly princess,
where is prince charming?
please dont appear,
if prince charming appear,
ugly princess will not shine,
and will be uglier.
so,don appear until ugly princess shine!
whats wrong with me writing all those funny things?
i am mad.
i want to be alone.
i am tired.
real tired.
pls let me off.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
back to work, hmm..should i be happy? this is my last week here!!! i should be happy...yet i am not feeling it. it isnt that i miss this place, i guess i also don know how i should explain. but ya, i am left with freaking 3 more days! come on my friends cheer for me! YEAH! great, being here make me crazy.
anyway, i do have alot of things i want to express again, but i guess i will slowly recap what i wanna say then write it down.
but first let me say something "What! beckham isnt in england team anymore?!" you must me kidding me. how can he not be in the team. i know young and good players are coming up, isnt experienced players important too.i feel that he made alot of contributions in this year's world cup! though he didnt led the team to the finals, but still he made alot of contributions. i am so sad! rumoured that lennon is taking over beckham's position, he is a fast player, but i think beckham is still a great player. guess, i have to catch real madrid to watch more of his play, but spanish leagues isnt very exciting and interesting.
okie, i am loss for words, let me just stop here first.
anyway, i do have alot of things i want to express again, but i guess i will slowly recap what i wanna say then write it down.
but first let me say something "What! beckham isnt in england team anymore?!" you must me kidding me. how can he not be in the team. i know young and good players are coming up, isnt experienced players important too.i feel that he made alot of contributions in this year's world cup! though he didnt led the team to the finals, but still he made alot of contributions. i am so sad! rumoured that lennon is taking over beckham's position, he is a fast player, but i think beckham is still a great player. guess, i have to catch real madrid to watch more of his play, but spanish leagues isnt very exciting and interesting.
okie, i am loss for words, let me just stop here first.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
red light means "GO!", green light means "STOP!", what does orange light means?
i have a phobia for traffic light, i don like seeing red,green and orange together. i hate it, hate it terribly. when do i have to stop? when do i have to slow down? when do i need to speed up? next time i shall hire a driver! i wont agree that driving is cool! is horrible.
i feel a sense of saddness overwhelming me. i seriously cant figure out where the saddness is coming from. maybe is from alot of things. like work, life, and different kind of relations.
finally, my long awaited internship is finally ending, but i am not extremely happy. i guess is because i waitied for this moment for too long, and the happy feeling has died down. so, when it is ending, i just take it as nothing. or actually deep down, i already got used to this life?
ya, i know we have to get used to things around us, have to get used to a new environment, have to get used to things that we dont like, have to get used just to survive. life are just so sad.
or is my saddness coming from elsewhere? that i didnt know that i will be real sad over it? cos, i have 100% put everything down and give up. i have to put down to make my life a better life. i have to put down in order to accept new things in my life. i have to put down cos it just causing me so much saddness and restrictions. i have to put it down cos i have been deceiving myself. i have to put it down cos i read too much into it. i have to put it down cos everythings are just nothing, i have to put it down, cos i am awaiting for new challenges in life. i have to put it down to start a new life. i have to put it down cos it has been lingering for too long, i have to put it down cos there nothing more that i can do. so now, i can really say that i have put down! i am happy for this decision, but sad for the result. but i am hoping that my life will be happier and better.
i keep saying and telling everybody that i wanna be sick, let sick befalls me. i guess this sickness is coming at the wrong time and is coming very slowly.
i feel weaker day by day. illness coming 1 by 1. first was flu,consistent flu, second was cough, very dry cough, third is stomach upset, fourth will be giddy. i know myself, i know that when i am sick, i will be emotionally weak as well. i will be a very weak person when i am sick and i know it. thats why i can feel tears every now and then. but lucky it didnt rolled down, if not alot of people will start staring at me and asking me what happen. so, i still can controlled my tears.
this year's national day, i didnt go and catch the fireworks. i love fireworks alot alot. cos it is very beautiful and in singapore, it can only be seen on special occasions. so, i treasure fireworks alot. but, i didnt go..................... watching it on tv is not interesting at all, i cant feel the hot, i cant feel the beauty and i cant feel the loud bang! i jus cant feel the fireworks.
fireworks are beautiful
they light up the dark sky,
brighten the dull black,
give hopes to the livings,
though it doesnt last long,
but we capture the beauty of it!
i wanna test my patience!
i have a phobia for traffic light, i don like seeing red,green and orange together. i hate it, hate it terribly. when do i have to stop? when do i have to slow down? when do i need to speed up? next time i shall hire a driver! i wont agree that driving is cool! is horrible.
i feel a sense of saddness overwhelming me. i seriously cant figure out where the saddness is coming from. maybe is from alot of things. like work, life, and different kind of relations.
finally, my long awaited internship is finally ending, but i am not extremely happy. i guess is because i waitied for this moment for too long, and the happy feeling has died down. so, when it is ending, i just take it as nothing. or actually deep down, i already got used to this life?
ya, i know we have to get used to things around us, have to get used to a new environment, have to get used to things that we dont like, have to get used just to survive. life are just so sad.
or is my saddness coming from elsewhere? that i didnt know that i will be real sad over it? cos, i have 100% put everything down and give up. i have to put down to make my life a better life. i have to put down in order to accept new things in my life. i have to put down cos it just causing me so much saddness and restrictions. i have to put it down cos i have been deceiving myself. i have to put it down cos i read too much into it. i have to put it down cos everythings are just nothing, i have to put it down, cos i am awaiting for new challenges in life. i have to put it down to start a new life. i have to put it down cos it has been lingering for too long, i have to put it down cos there nothing more that i can do. so now, i can really say that i have put down! i am happy for this decision, but sad for the result. but i am hoping that my life will be happier and better.
i keep saying and telling everybody that i wanna be sick, let sick befalls me. i guess this sickness is coming at the wrong time and is coming very slowly.
i feel weaker day by day. illness coming 1 by 1. first was flu,consistent flu, second was cough, very dry cough, third is stomach upset, fourth will be giddy. i know myself, i know that when i am sick, i will be emotionally weak as well. i will be a very weak person when i am sick and i know it. thats why i can feel tears every now and then. but lucky it didnt rolled down, if not alot of people will start staring at me and asking me what happen. so, i still can controlled my tears.
this year's national day, i didnt go and catch the fireworks. i love fireworks alot alot. cos it is very beautiful and in singapore, it can only be seen on special occasions. so, i treasure fireworks alot. but, i didnt go..................... watching it on tv is not interesting at all, i cant feel the hot, i cant feel the beauty and i cant feel the loud bang! i jus cant feel the fireworks.
fireworks are beautiful
they light up the dark sky,
brighten the dull black,
give hopes to the livings,
though it doesnt last long,
but we capture the beauty of it!
i wanna test my patience!
Monday, August 07, 2006
I nearly broke down. Things went so out of hand and it became so hard to end everything. Nosy people started the fire, innocent people get burned in the fire. Firemen doesn't have enough water to save the innocent people, eventually they were burnt alive and die. A stupid person stood by the fire and see how the innocent people die. In the end, when the innocent people are dead, the stupid person feels guilty, feels down, feels sad. The person knew he/she could do something more to just help. But in the end, everyone get hurt in this incident. The people who start this fire is the culprit.
People, tell me how to prevent the innocent people get burnt alive?
Things are always very complicated. It is always some miscommunications somewhere, some misunderstandings here and there. Slowly, everything sums up, and triggered people's emotions. How should I go about describing?
Last 2 year, before I went hong kong, I was dumped with some problems from my fren,
Now, after 2 years, I am going hong kong for holiday again, I was dumped with problems from my frens as well..
Will history repeat itself?
Will I just stay away because I am too tired of it?
Because, "history tends to repeat itself" can always be seen on me.
Things are always changing in my life.
Somehow, deep in my heart, I know what I want in my life, but I am afraid to make a bad decision which will concern my whole life, and which my future lies on it. I am afraid, I am scared, because no one can assure me that what I am going to do, will have a good prospect. Everyone gave me a negative comment about it. I am so down.
Enough things for me to vex, more things coming. Am I someone that couldn't take what it comes, or couldn't take the pressure that is coming? My work, I have more responsibility having to coach the trainees, and I am trying very hard to be very nice and to be very patient to them because I put myself in their shoes, but then they aren't giving the right attitude. They seems that they don't give a damm or don't even bother. What is this? Why I have to do all this? Why can I just work and have fun during work.
I am so tired and worn out. I just want to have a good rest and a long holiday free from worries and troubles.
However, I can be more sure that I gave up or I have put down. Sometime, I should relaxed and shouldn't make myself miserable. I should enjoyed my life, though I doesn't sound that I am right now. But, I am sure I have some happy moments.
Nowadays, I wrote very long very long blog entries, because I got so much time, so much time that I can really think through what I wanna say or what I wanna blog, then I slowly phrase it out and write it here.
Am I a boring blogger? Haha…
Daily lifestyle, I am restricting myself from bloggin daily lifestyle. Is so funny. So I rather post thing that I feel in life or some pretty enlightenment stuffs.
Haha, this 2 days, my tears are just at corner of my eyes, if I think more, tears will just rolled down. Is it because that I am feeling sick therefore feeling emotionally weak as well?
Or is it that I wanna cry but suppress myself? Which is the one I am feeling now?
Of cos, only I am able to tell.
Latest fashion updates – A new adidas watch is out, the digital old school series!
Now they have a new pattern, it is quite unique and modern.
Adidas is cool! Yeah! Yippe… are they gonna start thier fashion
trend soon....
People, tell me how to prevent the innocent people get burnt alive?
Things are always very complicated. It is always some miscommunications somewhere, some misunderstandings here and there. Slowly, everything sums up, and triggered people's emotions. How should I go about describing?
Last 2 year, before I went hong kong, I was dumped with some problems from my fren,
Now, after 2 years, I am going hong kong for holiday again, I was dumped with problems from my frens as well..
Will history repeat itself?
Will I just stay away because I am too tired of it?
Because, "history tends to repeat itself" can always be seen on me.
Things are always changing in my life.
Somehow, deep in my heart, I know what I want in my life, but I am afraid to make a bad decision which will concern my whole life, and which my future lies on it. I am afraid, I am scared, because no one can assure me that what I am going to do, will have a good prospect. Everyone gave me a negative comment about it. I am so down.
Enough things for me to vex, more things coming. Am I someone that couldn't take what it comes, or couldn't take the pressure that is coming? My work, I have more responsibility having to coach the trainees, and I am trying very hard to be very nice and to be very patient to them because I put myself in their shoes, but then they aren't giving the right attitude. They seems that they don't give a damm or don't even bother. What is this? Why I have to do all this? Why can I just work and have fun during work.
I am so tired and worn out. I just want to have a good rest and a long holiday free from worries and troubles.
However, I can be more sure that I gave up or I have put down. Sometime, I should relaxed and shouldn't make myself miserable. I should enjoyed my life, though I doesn't sound that I am right now. But, I am sure I have some happy moments.
Nowadays, I wrote very long very long blog entries, because I got so much time, so much time that I can really think through what I wanna say or what I wanna blog, then I slowly phrase it out and write it here.
Am I a boring blogger? Haha…
Daily lifestyle, I am restricting myself from bloggin daily lifestyle. Is so funny. So I rather post thing that I feel in life or some pretty enlightenment stuffs.
Haha, this 2 days, my tears are just at corner of my eyes, if I think more, tears will just rolled down. Is it because that I am feeling sick therefore feeling emotionally weak as well?
Or is it that I wanna cry but suppress myself? Which is the one I am feeling now?
Of cos, only I am able to tell.
Latest fashion updates – A new adidas watch is out, the digital old school series!
Now they have a new pattern, it is quite unique and modern.
Adidas is cool! Yeah! Yippe… are they gonna start thier fashion
trend soon....
Friday, August 04, 2006
I am emotional, dramatically emotional. I lost sense of my direction, I lost who I am, I lost what I wanna be. I did say that dreams tend to be difficult to realize, that's why it was call Dreams. But, I have come to realize that not everyone can fulfill their dreams. I want to be the one that can fulfill my dreams, but situation given here doesn't allow me to go ahead. I always hear "go ahead and pursue your dreams", but then how many can really pursue their dreams? Many are driven to desk-bound jobs because they realize that their dreams are far out of reach. I am contradicting. I heard one say " you never know the results if you never try". Of course, I totally agree with this saying. But not everyone can afford the time and money to keep trying. If I am rich, I won't have any worries, and I will just follow my dreams. If I am young, I won't have so many doubts, and go with my heart. But the thing here is I am neither rich nor young. I cannot afford to waste another 3 years to realize that I have to starve with this field that I will be in. So what's now?
Go with my heart and purse my dreams?
Or
Given the circumstances, I should jus go with the demand?
I am terribly in a dilemma. Why I don't know what I want when I was choosing my course of studies?
Why didn't I explore what I like when I am entering poly. Hell of me. I regretted totally.
Everyone's opinion is that I must be the best to survive in my field. What if I can't be the best?
I am trying to give myself confident, but still I have to think of the negative side and the consequences.
Why am I stuck here? In the middle of a crossroad, not knowing which direction to go, not knowing where I will be heading, not knowing what my future lies for me, not knowing what I should do.
I am terribly feeling down everyday thinking about what I should do.
With graduation coming nearby, things have to fall apart and have to settle. I have to think a solution and my way to the future.
I once told myself, what is life. It seems everyone is living such a mono life. After their studies, they come out to work, after some years of working, they settle down start a family, after few years of newly-wed, they give birth, bring up the children, educate their child, and then become old.
I told myself, this isn't the kind of life I was looking for. I don want to live such a life. I feel that this kind of life seems that you are living for the sake of living, and not live for the sake of living for yourself.
I told myself, I want to do things I like, I want to do things I love. I should pursue things I love and go for things I love. But why am I here keep rattling about whether I should take up what I love?
What am I still worrying for?
I have always know that, actions speak louder than words. I can keep rattling non stop, but u will never see the actions. U may think that I always talk big, but no actions. Maybe this is me?
Have I found me? Do I love the me now?all this questions starting to pile up inside my head. Am I being too over, doubting myself? Maybe some might think so, some otherwise. I am trying hard just to leave all this aside and relax. I am totally vexed over this matter. I am tired thinking. I am tired vexing. I am totally tired and worn out. I am have a big headache. I am not smiling anymore. I am tired.
I have always been a happy girl. Since when did I become unhappy? Unhappy about the life I am leading now? Unhappy about the path I chose, unhappy about how I go about ruining my life. Even worse, unhappy about my whole character. Damm it! all this shouldn't have happen on me. My life is a mess. I don know what I want and what I want and what I want!!!
I wish for someone to tell me what I should do, or maybe can advise me.
Maybe living in the 20's or 50's is more carefree and good. You would have to be so ambitious and live the way everyone is living. Trying hard to earn a living. Having all the time to relax and everyone just be together. No worries at that time about what you like what you want and what are dreams.
This is totally a headache!!!
Go with my heart and purse my dreams?
Or
Given the circumstances, I should jus go with the demand?
I am terribly in a dilemma. Why I don't know what I want when I was choosing my course of studies?
Why didn't I explore what I like when I am entering poly. Hell of me. I regretted totally.
Everyone's opinion is that I must be the best to survive in my field. What if I can't be the best?
I am trying to give myself confident, but still I have to think of the negative side and the consequences.
Why am I stuck here? In the middle of a crossroad, not knowing which direction to go, not knowing where I will be heading, not knowing what my future lies for me, not knowing what I should do.
I am terribly feeling down everyday thinking about what I should do.
With graduation coming nearby, things have to fall apart and have to settle. I have to think a solution and my way to the future.
I once told myself, what is life. It seems everyone is living such a mono life. After their studies, they come out to work, after some years of working, they settle down start a family, after few years of newly-wed, they give birth, bring up the children, educate their child, and then become old.
I told myself, this isn't the kind of life I was looking for. I don want to live such a life. I feel that this kind of life seems that you are living for the sake of living, and not live for the sake of living for yourself.
I told myself, I want to do things I like, I want to do things I love. I should pursue things I love and go for things I love. But why am I here keep rattling about whether I should take up what I love?
What am I still worrying for?
I have always know that, actions speak louder than words. I can keep rattling non stop, but u will never see the actions. U may think that I always talk big, but no actions. Maybe this is me?
Have I found me? Do I love the me now?all this questions starting to pile up inside my head. Am I being too over, doubting myself? Maybe some might think so, some otherwise. I am trying hard just to leave all this aside and relax. I am totally vexed over this matter. I am tired thinking. I am tired vexing. I am totally tired and worn out. I am have a big headache. I am not smiling anymore. I am tired.
I have always been a happy girl. Since when did I become unhappy? Unhappy about the life I am leading now? Unhappy about the path I chose, unhappy about how I go about ruining my life. Even worse, unhappy about my whole character. Damm it! all this shouldn't have happen on me. My life is a mess. I don know what I want and what I want and what I want!!!
I wish for someone to tell me what I should do, or maybe can advise me.
Maybe living in the 20's or 50's is more carefree and good. You would have to be so ambitious and live the way everyone is living. Trying hard to earn a living. Having all the time to relax and everyone just be together. No worries at that time about what you like what you want and what are dreams.
This is totally a headache!!!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
i am going to use the remaining around 40 minutes to blog…
god, I am going crazy staying here, I seriously cant wait for 17th August. The day that I am set free from this whole attachment thing. Is getting so out of hand that I cannot take it. so tiring, I jus cant wait to end this thing and think bout my future and do things I wanna do, meet ppl I want to meet.
True enough, I will get so influenced by certain tv serials or movies. Psychology, I remembered I wanted to study this a lot . cos I think it is an interesting thing to understand what other people are thinking and what psychology problems they are facing. When one tends to think a lot, they will got hysterical, and jus cant get the thing off their mind. Is psychology about subconscious kinda of thing? What is subconscious then? Does it occur on me too? I wonder sometimes. How come there will be people stuck in their own world of fantasy and never get out? They cant be called insane, they jus cant untie the knot in them. So what does this people have in mind, if they live in their own world of fantasy, do they know who they really are? I am really interested in knowing whats on their mind. And how psychology therapy can help them get out of their world of fantasy. It is so fascinating isn’t it? understand human’s thinking. But what often and tends to happen is that, you understand people very well, yet u are the one that don’t understand yourself. Understand yourself? What definition is this? How do I considered myself, understand myself? Psychologist can understand one’s character and emotion and their thinking based on certain things they do, they write, they like, they talk, they walk. Does it really tells it all? I like words written in italic, so what does that mean? I walk slanted? Haha… no, I am jus joking. Hmm, interesting, this is so interesting. I think there are a lot more to know about psychology. But I guess I am not up to it. hmm, what does this mean? I know! I don have confident! Like Duh!! Everyone knows that… haha.. lolx…
Pirates of carribean – dead man chest! Though, it isn’t as interesting as the black pearl, but it still meets my expectations. The show was funny from the start, and though the fighting scene increased and story has to be continued, but it was still a good show. I had a good laugh! I admire Johnny depp as an actor! He is incredible, he is marvelous, he is fantastic!
Cos the reactions in the show, he was superb! That’s what make me laugh. He was funny in the show. Though the whole show lasted for like 2 and a half hour, but I don’t feel that it was 2 and a half hour, it doesn’t feel that long, so still, it was a show that is worth the watch.
Tokyo Drift – I watched this show as well, wow! The girls were hot, and the cars are fantastic. The drift was alright compared to initial D, initial D looks more real. Tokyo drift contains more action pact but still it was a good show not to be missed! Cos it is pretty thrilling and exciting.
Cool, I watched like 2 shows! Haha.. cos this 2 show I really wanted to catch it very much.
I am so tired now, why why why? Nothing to say.
I am watching project runway season 3.. hmm, don know why I still prefer season 2 with Andrea, “where is Andrea”, Daniel Vosovic “he is hot!”, Chloe Dao “I like her”, Santino “the irritating one” …jus keep watchin season 3 and see more dramas coming up!
god, I am going crazy staying here, I seriously cant wait for 17th August. The day that I am set free from this whole attachment thing. Is getting so out of hand that I cannot take it. so tiring, I jus cant wait to end this thing and think bout my future and do things I wanna do, meet ppl I want to meet.
True enough, I will get so influenced by certain tv serials or movies. Psychology, I remembered I wanted to study this a lot . cos I think it is an interesting thing to understand what other people are thinking and what psychology problems they are facing. When one tends to think a lot, they will got hysterical, and jus cant get the thing off their mind. Is psychology about subconscious kinda of thing? What is subconscious then? Does it occur on me too? I wonder sometimes. How come there will be people stuck in their own world of fantasy and never get out? They cant be called insane, they jus cant untie the knot in them. So what does this people have in mind, if they live in their own world of fantasy, do they know who they really are? I am really interested in knowing whats on their mind. And how psychology therapy can help them get out of their world of fantasy. It is so fascinating isn’t it? understand human’s thinking. But what often and tends to happen is that, you understand people very well, yet u are the one that don’t understand yourself. Understand yourself? What definition is this? How do I considered myself, understand myself? Psychologist can understand one’s character and emotion and their thinking based on certain things they do, they write, they like, they talk, they walk. Does it really tells it all? I like words written in italic, so what does that mean? I walk slanted? Haha… no, I am jus joking. Hmm, interesting, this is so interesting. I think there are a lot more to know about psychology. But I guess I am not up to it. hmm, what does this mean? I know! I don have confident! Like Duh!! Everyone knows that… haha.. lolx…
Pirates of carribean – dead man chest! Though, it isn’t as interesting as the black pearl, but it still meets my expectations. The show was funny from the start, and though the fighting scene increased and story has to be continued, but it was still a good show. I had a good laugh! I admire Johnny depp as an actor! He is incredible, he is marvelous, he is fantastic!
Cos the reactions in the show, he was superb! That’s what make me laugh. He was funny in the show. Though the whole show lasted for like 2 and a half hour, but I don’t feel that it was 2 and a half hour, it doesn’t feel that long, so still, it was a show that is worth the watch.
Tokyo Drift – I watched this show as well, wow! The girls were hot, and the cars are fantastic. The drift was alright compared to initial D, initial D looks more real. Tokyo drift contains more action pact but still it was a good show not to be missed! Cos it is pretty thrilling and exciting.
Cool, I watched like 2 shows! Haha.. cos this 2 show I really wanted to catch it very much.
I am so tired now, why why why? Nothing to say.
I am watching project runway season 3.. hmm, don know why I still prefer season 2 with Andrea, “where is Andrea”, Daniel Vosovic “he is hot!”, Chloe Dao “I like her”, Santino “the irritating one” …jus keep watchin season 3 and see more dramas coming up!
Friday, July 28, 2006
i am bored,tired both mentally and physically...things jus seem that it isnt going well.....though,i am left with exactly 13 more days to end my internship, but it seems never ending.....
so when is this going to end, though the people here are very nice, but then i am very tired already.. jus feel like i wanna get out of here...
the world is revolving around the sparkling hips of FASHION --> my new nick...now everywhere, people pay attention to fashion..right?
the sense of fashion, everyone has a different view in each fashion expects.. don ever think i am trying to talk big here, saying fashion blah blah blah...i didnt know i love fashion so much...i hope i can do something regarding fashion, i hope i can work something out of this..will anyone support me? i need support, cos i have been receiving negative comments about working in this industry. so i need lots of support, or jus drop me some positive comments about fashion industry. i know it is going to be difficult. but tell me, whos dream arent difficult to realise? i don mind the hardship but in the end will i be able to make it? will i be able to stand in the fashion industry. this is a big question. please don ever think i am influence by project runway, though i love that show, but i am not influence by the show in wanting to work in fashion industry..
fashion represent different terms in each individual. for me, i perfer comfty yet interesting attractively. color plays a big part in a shirt. not only color, the cloth and texture also plays a big role..there are so many to learn in fashion...
i always watch TV dramas, they quoted "not everything money can buy" but trust me, money can buy qualifications. if i've the money, i would have study overseas...i could have study overseas and learn more thing and expose more and know more people and not stuck here. it isnt that here is not good, but is always better to go outside the world to see..money can buy all that, without money, even travelling will be difficult... though money cant buy feelings, but it can help me get better qualifications!!
hmm, i am not feeling well and am feeling very sleepy...i don know what happening to me..i wanna shut myself up alone...i wanna be alone...when i am supposed to sleep at night, i have no idea why i jus couldnt fall asleep, when i am not allowed to sleep while i was workin, i keep dozing off....i also don know whats wrong with me...i am so confused over myself...seriously confused...
does anyone else feels the same as me? confused about themsevels?
confused about thigns they do, things they like, things that gets in their way, things that is never ending... many many things....
maybe a trip back, i will be more refreshin and start everything anew...
i put down what i am supposed to put down, no longer holding on,
maybe because i let go of my hand, then i felt that i am too tired all long. trying to be someone i am not.... so a break for me is the most suitable..
i have been thinking, will there be a day that i will go travelling myself? exploring the city mmyself? i don mind travelling myself in hongkong, actually i love hongkong, esp the language that was spoken there, i understand what they say, but i jus cant speak as fluently as they could. so sad... no one to practicse cantonese with me..
haven to pretend that i am a hongkie when i cant speak fluent cantonese..haha...
cool, you guys know why i keep blabbering non-stop? cos i have too much free time, i wanna write alot of philosophy....
let talk topic by topic....
i wanna talk bout project runway,
the final 3, 1) Daniel V 2) chloe Dao 3)Santino Rice....
i like chloe's collection as much as i like daniel's v collection...they are both great designers, and daniel v have achieved so much at such a young age, i admired him, and he is both talented and handsome. needless to say, i find him hot.... but then........
everytime i see them draw their design,shopping for clothes, executing their design, sewing on their own.. if i am as capable as them, i would feel a sense of satisfaction. being able to made your own design out from your own bare hands, isnt this achievements statisfying!!
i admire and envy their smart brains and their determination and jealous of their opporunity.. i wish i have the chance they have, but it will be hard for me even to step out of singapore to study...
i was listenin to radio one night, and i heard the Dj mention this phrase "the thing that is constant is changing" i couldnt get what it means immediately after hearing the sentence, i keep repeating the phase in my head and try to figure out what it means.
the thing that is constant is changing.
which mean changing is normal in life,it is the thing that keep on happening in our life.
am i right?pretty true, changing keeps on happening..i find the change in my friends, i find the change in myself,changing can be so scary that you wont expect it to be...
wow, i bet i have been ranting on and on for a long time already, but it jus like 3.45pm
but i still wanna keep writing, thats the only thing that i can do now,
the entire net, i have surfed like almost everythign i wanna surf, search almost everything i wanna search, see almost everythin that i wanna see...
i am so tired of website ready....
My current NEW Obession ---> Bosco Wong
he is my fav hottie now!! with Myolie Wu....they make a great pair...
i begining to love him more and more, he is so man, so gentleman,so funny,so cute and so playful. when you need a man, he is a man, when u need a clown to cheer u up, he can be one, when u need some fun, he can be very fun to be with... though i don know him, but he give me this kind of feeling...what an ideal boyfriend, with character, ambition, height and build. he is the perfect man yet again!
he can be both a man and a guy... i like him!!! isnt him jus the perfect guy....woo..hope i can meet him if i am in hongkong! praying hard.... hahaha!!
i never change my idols, jus that my idols keep increasing,start from male first
daniel chan --> takuya kimura --> Mike he jun xiang --> Raymond lam --> lee dong gun --> bosco wong !!! they are all handsome guys okie!!
female artise
mandy moore --> hilary duff --> rainie yang --> myolie wu
hahhahahahaha....a childish side of me...damm! hahah...
okie...i am trying to write until my clock here strike 4pm...when it strike 4pm, i am left with 2 hours...2 long hours,though i hope i can go home and rest, but i have to be out..i am tired! mentally and physically tired...
6 more mintues to 4pm5 more minutes to 4pmblah blah bla blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah4 more minutes to 4pm blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 3 more minutes to 4pm bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco2 more mintues to 4pmmyolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie1 more mintue to 4pmbosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie
YEAH...finaly 4pm le!!!
haiz..okok..i shall stop here..
so when is this going to end, though the people here are very nice, but then i am very tired already.. jus feel like i wanna get out of here...
the world is revolving around the sparkling hips of FASHION --> my new nick...now everywhere, people pay attention to fashion..right?
the sense of fashion, everyone has a different view in each fashion expects.. don ever think i am trying to talk big here, saying fashion blah blah blah...i didnt know i love fashion so much...i hope i can do something regarding fashion, i hope i can work something out of this..will anyone support me? i need support, cos i have been receiving negative comments about working in this industry. so i need lots of support, or jus drop me some positive comments about fashion industry. i know it is going to be difficult. but tell me, whos dream arent difficult to realise? i don mind the hardship but in the end will i be able to make it? will i be able to stand in the fashion industry. this is a big question. please don ever think i am influence by project runway, though i love that show, but i am not influence by the show in wanting to work in fashion industry..
fashion represent different terms in each individual. for me, i perfer comfty yet interesting attractively. color plays a big part in a shirt. not only color, the cloth and texture also plays a big role..there are so many to learn in fashion...
i always watch TV dramas, they quoted "not everything money can buy" but trust me, money can buy qualifications. if i've the money, i would have study overseas...i could have study overseas and learn more thing and expose more and know more people and not stuck here. it isnt that here is not good, but is always better to go outside the world to see..money can buy all that, without money, even travelling will be difficult... though money cant buy feelings, but it can help me get better qualifications!!
hmm, i am not feeling well and am feeling very sleepy...i don know what happening to me..i wanna shut myself up alone...i wanna be alone...when i am supposed to sleep at night, i have no idea why i jus couldnt fall asleep, when i am not allowed to sleep while i was workin, i keep dozing off....i also don know whats wrong with me...i am so confused over myself...seriously confused...
does anyone else feels the same as me? confused about themsevels?
confused about thigns they do, things they like, things that gets in their way, things that is never ending... many many things....
maybe a trip back, i will be more refreshin and start everything anew...
i put down what i am supposed to put down, no longer holding on,
maybe because i let go of my hand, then i felt that i am too tired all long. trying to be someone i am not.... so a break for me is the most suitable..
i have been thinking, will there be a day that i will go travelling myself? exploring the city mmyself? i don mind travelling myself in hongkong, actually i love hongkong, esp the language that was spoken there, i understand what they say, but i jus cant speak as fluently as they could. so sad... no one to practicse cantonese with me..
haven to pretend that i am a hongkie when i cant speak fluent cantonese..haha...
cool, you guys know why i keep blabbering non-stop? cos i have too much free time, i wanna write alot of philosophy....
let talk topic by topic....
i wanna talk bout project runway,
the final 3, 1) Daniel V 2) chloe Dao 3)Santino Rice....
i like chloe's collection as much as i like daniel's v collection...they are both great designers, and daniel v have achieved so much at such a young age, i admired him, and he is both talented and handsome. needless to say, i find him hot.... but then........
everytime i see them draw their design,shopping for clothes, executing their design, sewing on their own.. if i am as capable as them, i would feel a sense of satisfaction. being able to made your own design out from your own bare hands, isnt this achievements statisfying!!
i admire and envy their smart brains and their determination and jealous of their opporunity.. i wish i have the chance they have, but it will be hard for me even to step out of singapore to study...
i was listenin to radio one night, and i heard the Dj mention this phrase "the thing that is constant is changing" i couldnt get what it means immediately after hearing the sentence, i keep repeating the phase in my head and try to figure out what it means.
the thing that is constant is changing.
which mean changing is normal in life,it is the thing that keep on happening in our life.
am i right?pretty true, changing keeps on happening..i find the change in my friends, i find the change in myself,changing can be so scary that you wont expect it to be...
wow, i bet i have been ranting on and on for a long time already, but it jus like 3.45pm
but i still wanna keep writing, thats the only thing that i can do now,
the entire net, i have surfed like almost everythign i wanna surf, search almost everything i wanna search, see almost everythin that i wanna see...
i am so tired of website ready....
My current NEW Obession ---> Bosco Wong
he is my fav hottie now!! with Myolie Wu....they make a great pair...
i begining to love him more and more, he is so man, so gentleman,so funny,so cute and so playful. when you need a man, he is a man, when u need a clown to cheer u up, he can be one, when u need some fun, he can be very fun to be with... though i don know him, but he give me this kind of feeling...what an ideal boyfriend, with character, ambition, height and build. he is the perfect man yet again!
he can be both a man and a guy... i like him!!! isnt him jus the perfect guy....woo..hope i can meet him if i am in hongkong! praying hard.... hahaha!!
i never change my idols, jus that my idols keep increasing,start from male first
daniel chan --> takuya kimura --> Mike he jun xiang --> Raymond lam --> lee dong gun --> bosco wong !!! they are all handsome guys okie!!
female artise
mandy moore --> hilary duff --> rainie yang --> myolie wu
hahhahahahaha....a childish side of me...damm! hahah...
okie...i am trying to write until my clock here strike 4pm...when it strike 4pm, i am left with 2 hours...2 long hours,though i hope i can go home and rest, but i have to be out..i am tired! mentally and physically tired...
6 more mintues to 4pm5 more minutes to 4pmblah blah bla blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah4 more minutes to 4pm blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 3 more minutes to 4pm bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco bosco2 more mintues to 4pmmyolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie myolie1 more mintue to 4pmbosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie bosco myolie
YEAH...finaly 4pm le!!!
haiz..okok..i shall stop here..
Saturday, July 22, 2006
i gave up.....
ytd, funny thing happen, i was telling my fren bout the style of this guy,then was telling her "this type of guy not bad".... then the guy actually keep looking at our group...so i thought he must be looking at my frens cos all are very pretty ("argh") hahhaha....but then minutes later, he was like "eh..hi" God, i know him...he was my ex-collegues!! great...fuunny thing is that i don even know i knew him and somemore was telling my fren that he is not bad...after that me and my fren keep laughing....
though the fashion show ytd wasnt those very glam one. but i admire and envy the designers. cos the ideas are really special in a sense. some might not be nice, but some are very nice..but it still their efforts and ideas counts. they are smart, i envy them...
i like the nicholas collection alot.. he design very nice women and men's wear... too bad i didnt bring my camera along...at least i get to see some local designers works. who say local designer's work cant be compared with overseas people. i think they are capable of doing that...
i am more and mroe into this....i hope i can go this direction........will god be with me this time?
wasted 3 years though.....don wanna waste any more years......
ya, i wasted 4 years, don wanna continuing doing so...
ytd, funny thing happen, i was telling my fren bout the style of this guy,then was telling her "this type of guy not bad".... then the guy actually keep looking at our group...so i thought he must be looking at my frens cos all are very pretty ("argh") hahhaha....but then minutes later, he was like "eh..hi" God, i know him...he was my ex-collegues!! great...fuunny thing is that i don even know i knew him and somemore was telling my fren that he is not bad...after that me and my fren keep laughing....
though the fashion show ytd wasnt those very glam one. but i admire and envy the designers. cos the ideas are really special in a sense. some might not be nice, but some are very nice..but it still their efforts and ideas counts. they are smart, i envy them...
i like the nicholas collection alot.. he design very nice women and men's wear... too bad i didnt bring my camera along...at least i get to see some local designers works. who say local designer's work cant be compared with overseas people. i think they are capable of doing that...
i am more and mroe into this....i hope i can go this direction........will god be with me this time?
wasted 3 years though.....don wanna waste any more years......
ya, i wasted 4 years, don wanna continuing doing so...
Thursday, July 20, 2006
actually i have alot to say but i kept everything waiting for a time for me to write it down, but eventually everything slipped off my mind. anyway, recently i realized i have short term memory.
i feel that i lose the sense of liking..liking..many way to explain liking.. liking towards a person, liking towards an animal or even liking towards certain things...
but somehow i feel that i lose the sense of liking towards people...i dont mean people in general. those crushed likes... somehow i forget those kind of feeling..what kind of feeling should i have if i met someone i like? what kind is the feeling that i should feel if i found out i like someone... suddenly, i forget all this feeling.. i forget how i should feel, or how i felt in the past.. i lost all this feelings... is it because i gave up? or is it because i am just being sensitive? haha..
who can tell me how is it to feel if u like someone? cos i totally lost the feeling....
i only know that my feeling is towards dramas..god..who am i man? i should have married to drama...sometime being an artise, there is good and bad.. in my way of defining them is that, they lost their freedom, their every move is being watched, is difficult to find someone who really love them for who they are.. some might be lucky,but not all..but in return they gained something, besides the fame and wealth, i bet they are enjoyin what they are doing, and they got themseleves alot of friends. they might lost the freedom to love in reality, but they still can chose to love in a drama. they are constanly having different love stories in every drama, but best is the other half is always different. so in a way to them, maybe they did have alot of relationship.. different kind, some gave them best, some being loved... so they tasted all different kind of relationship. and who knows, they might have being great couples in real life..
california¬ it all started with me sayin california, and we had alot of fun in the car. ya, didnt know that AYE -> ECP that expressway is so beautiful, next time i shall drive there as well... i always believe that Jfren,Cfren and me together we will have fun...i cant wait for the trip my girlfrens....love u guys...
i am such a hypocrite.............hate myself.......
alright, 3 more weeks to end my misery and suffering..wish me the best......
i feel that i lose the sense of liking..liking..many way to explain liking.. liking towards a person, liking towards an animal or even liking towards certain things...
but somehow i feel that i lose the sense of liking towards people...i dont mean people in general. those crushed likes... somehow i forget those kind of feeling..what kind of feeling should i have if i met someone i like? what kind is the feeling that i should feel if i found out i like someone... suddenly, i forget all this feeling.. i forget how i should feel, or how i felt in the past.. i lost all this feelings... is it because i gave up? or is it because i am just being sensitive? haha..
who can tell me how is it to feel if u like someone? cos i totally lost the feeling....
i only know that my feeling is towards dramas..god..who am i man? i should have married to drama...sometime being an artise, there is good and bad.. in my way of defining them is that, they lost their freedom, their every move is being watched, is difficult to find someone who really love them for who they are.. some might be lucky,but not all..but in return they gained something, besides the fame and wealth, i bet they are enjoyin what they are doing, and they got themseleves alot of friends. they might lost the freedom to love in reality, but they still can chose to love in a drama. they are constanly having different love stories in every drama, but best is the other half is always different. so in a way to them, maybe they did have alot of relationship.. different kind, some gave them best, some being loved... so they tasted all different kind of relationship. and who knows, they might have being great couples in real life..
california¬ it all started with me sayin california, and we had alot of fun in the car. ya, didnt know that AYE -> ECP that expressway is so beautiful, next time i shall drive there as well... i always believe that Jfren,Cfren and me together we will have fun...i cant wait for the trip my girlfrens....love u guys...
i am such a hypocrite.............hate myself.......
alright, 3 more weeks to end my misery and suffering..wish me the best......
Friday, July 14, 2006
i realise that this world is really very big, though singapore is a good country, but is also a small country. unlike other country. i watch "Destination Week" and it showed alot of different countries and their culture. definitely, it made me realise that this world is really big. there are so many places i haven or will never have a chance to go to. like spain,germany,england,new york,greece. this places are very interesting places. i wonder what if i were there, what would i feel? a sense of dis-belonging. but of cos i want to go around the world and see.
there are common places that we heard before. like japan,korea,new york, australia, canada, switzerland. but out there there are still alot of other countries we hardly even hear about them. i really would want a chance to travel around the world. looking at different countires and their culture. every part of the world is different. they have different living style and definitely differnet culture. i really love to being like that..able to go around the world and have a good look.
maybe i can be a friend only..training was bad for me as usual yesterday.. i can put in a lot of effort during training. but it seems like when it comes to game, i felt at loss. i don know what i should do or where i should run.. i lose my sense of game... thats bad....
i have been having alot of dreams recently.. similar dreama.. same people..different storyline.. is so scary.. same people keep appearing back in my dream...
so what is dream? people always say that because u think alot thats what u dream bout this, u dream bout that.. is this true? how can dream will appear? what makes dream? isnt it interesting to find out..
great, i think i am crazy....
i know i shouldnt..but was forced to.. and yet have to suffered myself...................
am i thinking too much?
5 more weeks - 23 more days to end my morning suffering!!!!! god!!
there are common places that we heard before. like japan,korea,new york, australia, canada, switzerland. but out there there are still alot of other countries we hardly even hear about them. i really would want a chance to travel around the world. looking at different countires and their culture. every part of the world is different. they have different living style and definitely differnet culture. i really love to being like that..able to go around the world and have a good look.
maybe i can be a friend only..training was bad for me as usual yesterday.. i can put in a lot of effort during training. but it seems like when it comes to game, i felt at loss. i don know what i should do or where i should run.. i lose my sense of game... thats bad....
i have been having alot of dreams recently.. similar dreama.. same people..different storyline.. is so scary.. same people keep appearing back in my dream...
so what is dream? people always say that because u think alot thats what u dream bout this, u dream bout that.. is this true? how can dream will appear? what makes dream? isnt it interesting to find out..
great, i think i am crazy....
i know i shouldnt..but was forced to.. and yet have to suffered myself...................
am i thinking too much?
5 more weeks - 23 more days to end my morning suffering!!!!! god!!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
今天，我用华文， 因为时间太多了。 所以，可以慢慢拼和写我所想的事物。
突然要我用华文来表达我所想的事物，似乎有一点困难。
我对很多事情有很多感触。无论是看到老妇老妻甜蜜的在一起，或是妈妈很温柔的在照顾自几的宝宝。种种不一样的事都会让我有感而伐。
不错， 我是一个很感性的人。一点点小事我就会很伤心或我也会很开心。
为舍么，我用华文，我终觉的我在写文章。哈！哈！
不过，为舍么新闻终是围绕着负面的消息呢？为舍么他们就不能停值呢?
我很同情Zidane。 因为， 我相信他也不希望他的足球生涯就这样的结束。
对他来说， 这样的结果他应该很痛恨自己吧。 那新闻为舍么还是一而再，再而三的不停的报道呢？真是够了。 没错， 我也很想知道，到底发生了舍么。 但是，如果我的好奇心得建设在别人的痛苦伤，我想我宁原不要知道。
世界杯都已今结束了，就让它停制吧！
最近，我的心情很复杂。 有很多东西我不了解。 我一直把想过的事情翻覆的又再想。很想听到真实的说法。很想知道真正的感受。 很多真的东西很想知道。
每天，发白日梦。都是一些不切实际的梦。我把我自己搞到很茅盾了。很不喜欢现在的我。没有理想，没有主见，没有自我， 舍么都没有的我。
真没用！
是时候清醒了!
很多感受讲不出来，
很多感情表达不出，
失去自我的我，
不知该从那在出发。
突然要我用华文来表达我所想的事物，似乎有一点困难。
我对很多事情有很多感触。无论是看到老妇老妻甜蜜的在一起，或是妈妈很温柔的在照顾自几的宝宝。种种不一样的事都会让我有感而伐。
不错， 我是一个很感性的人。一点点小事我就会很伤心或我也会很开心。
为舍么，我用华文，我终觉的我在写文章。哈！哈！
不过，为舍么新闻终是围绕着负面的消息呢？为舍么他们就不能停值呢?
我很同情Zidane。 因为， 我相信他也不希望他的足球生涯就这样的结束。
对他来说， 这样的结果他应该很痛恨自己吧。 那新闻为舍么还是一而再，再而三的不停的报道呢？真是够了。 没错， 我也很想知道，到底发生了舍么。 但是，如果我的好奇心得建设在别人的痛苦伤，我想我宁原不要知道。
世界杯都已今结束了，就让它停制吧！
最近，我的心情很复杂。 有很多东西我不了解。 我一直把想过的事情翻覆的又再想。很想听到真实的说法。很想知道真正的感受。 很多真的东西很想知道。
每天，发白日梦。都是一些不切实际的梦。我把我自己搞到很茅盾了。很不喜欢现在的我。没有理想，没有主见，没有自我， 舍么都没有的我。
真没用！
是时候清醒了!
很多感受讲不出来，
很多感情表达不出，
失去自我的我，
不知该从那在出发。
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
We all thought world cup has ended, but never did we know that there are so many dramas leading to the world cup aftermath…
Why did things turn out like that for people that aren’t supposed to be in the big pictures or would rather say that they are in the limelight for the wrong reasons?
I throw my heart out for zidane (zizou). I felt that he deserved to be named something positive rather than negative. Why would people always pictured the negative part so much that they failed to see the positive part? Papers wrote that “zidane getting a red card has washed away all his efforts that he got for himself for the past few years” however, I think likewise. This incident didn’t damper people image and views on zidane. People still respect and admire him as a good and respectable soccer player. Instead people pour their hearts out for him and felt sad for him.
Materazzi is the main culprit in the whole incident. Having bad records in his italy club, he climbed to a higher peak to create more trouble in the world cups final.
People can resort to underhand ways to get what they want. Be it materazzi or ronaldo. Both have evidence provided to prove their motive of both incidents.
Ronaldo, he wink at his team’s bench after ronney was sent off, so what does this indicate?
Simple for me, he did it on purpose. Of cos he didn’t asked the referee to produce the red card, but him stepping forward and be part of it, already have the motive of doing jus that. He knows ronney well being his team mate in man u, so he know how ronney will react. He was smart that he got what he wanted. Ronney got sent off, Portugal went on to win the penalties. But they don’t deserve the title.
Materazzi, it was proved by lip reader saying he called zidane “son of a terrorist whore” . someone please tell me, who could kept his cool after hearing such insulting remarks,who would still remain calm after those hurtful and sensitive remarks? No one could, zidane’ headbutt was jus little, he would have jus started a fight but he resist it. so what wrong did zidane did to receive his remarks? Nothing. Materazzi was jus too cunning to have spot zidane’e weak spot.
I am not sure whether there are a lot of people like me, feel that france are the winner in their heart. So what if italy is really being crowned the champs, people wont remember that. What people will remember how Materazzi tried to provoke zidane and got him sent off. That’s jus too pitiful for Italians to have win their champions in this way.
Like I said, france deserved the champions, althought I was supporting England, but in the end only italy and france make it to the finals. Of cos will go for france. Anyway, luck is jus not with them. Why cant papers stop mentioning about the incident that happen to zidane? I bet he is sad bout it, no one would wan to end their career in this way, or in this manner. I admire france, cos I could really feel that the whole team played together and really want to do this together. Be it for the country or for their captain Zidane. They want to win. And I think they deserve the title.
I think Zidane will still be remembered as a good, calm, clever, respectable player in soccer history.
What a drama in soccer world as well ya! Haiz…
Alright enough of soccer, next my friend’s bday on Monday!
But we celebrated it on Friday.
Had a great day!
We never had such a long chatting session until 6 in the morning..
Some were craps, some were serious talks, some were future talks!
We are really old ..haha…
Anyway, hope he is happy. I think he must be. Everyone is present on his birthday.
But still have to say sorry to another fren, unable to celebrate his. Will pay for it the next time..haha..
Hope things will turn of good for each and everyone of us.
Certain feelings……
Why did things turn out like that for people that aren’t supposed to be in the big pictures or would rather say that they are in the limelight for the wrong reasons?
I throw my heart out for zidane (zizou). I felt that he deserved to be named something positive rather than negative. Why would people always pictured the negative part so much that they failed to see the positive part? Papers wrote that “zidane getting a red card has washed away all his efforts that he got for himself for the past few years” however, I think likewise. This incident didn’t damper people image and views on zidane. People still respect and admire him as a good and respectable soccer player. Instead people pour their hearts out for him and felt sad for him.
Materazzi is the main culprit in the whole incident. Having bad records in his italy club, he climbed to a higher peak to create more trouble in the world cups final.
People can resort to underhand ways to get what they want. Be it materazzi or ronaldo. Both have evidence provided to prove their motive of both incidents.
Ronaldo, he wink at his team’s bench after ronney was sent off, so what does this indicate?
Simple for me, he did it on purpose. Of cos he didn’t asked the referee to produce the red card, but him stepping forward and be part of it, already have the motive of doing jus that. He knows ronney well being his team mate in man u, so he know how ronney will react. He was smart that he got what he wanted. Ronney got sent off, Portugal went on to win the penalties. But they don’t deserve the title.
Materazzi, it was proved by lip reader saying he called zidane “son of a terrorist whore” . someone please tell me, who could kept his cool after hearing such insulting remarks,who would still remain calm after those hurtful and sensitive remarks? No one could, zidane’ headbutt was jus little, he would have jus started a fight but he resist it. so what wrong did zidane did to receive his remarks? Nothing. Materazzi was jus too cunning to have spot zidane’e weak spot.
I am not sure whether there are a lot of people like me, feel that france are the winner in their heart. So what if italy is really being crowned the champs, people wont remember that. What people will remember how Materazzi tried to provoke zidane and got him sent off. That’s jus too pitiful for Italians to have win their champions in this way.
Like I said, france deserved the champions, althought I was supporting England, but in the end only italy and france make it to the finals. Of cos will go for france. Anyway, luck is jus not with them. Why cant papers stop mentioning about the incident that happen to zidane? I bet he is sad bout it, no one would wan to end their career in this way, or in this manner. I admire france, cos I could really feel that the whole team played together and really want to do this together. Be it for the country or for their captain Zidane. They want to win. And I think they deserve the title.
I think Zidane will still be remembered as a good, calm, clever, respectable player in soccer history.
What a drama in soccer world as well ya! Haiz…
Alright enough of soccer, next my friend’s bday on Monday!
But we celebrated it on Friday.
Had a great day!
We never had such a long chatting session until 6 in the morning..
Some were craps, some were serious talks, some were future talks!
We are really old ..haha…
Anyway, hope he is happy. I think he must be. Everyone is present on his birthday.
But still have to say sorry to another fren, unable to celebrate his. Will pay for it the next time..haha..
Hope things will turn of good for each and everyone of us.
Certain feelings……
Monday, July 10, 2006
World cup 2006
"Competition" it sounds like just any simple words, but this can be cruel. too much of a reality in life. because of competition, resulted in alot of different end results.
in a match, on the field, on the court, you can either be the happy one, or the sad one. there is only one winner in a game, and definitely one loser at the end of the game. don mention cruel, cos it definitely is. any mistake made during the game could cost the whole game.
needless to say, world cup is another cruel game. saw how un-sportmanship some players played, saw how some were really good and played their best giving their heart out. saw how some team shared the common goal and worked together. once again, i said penalty shootout was too much of a cruel way to decide whos the real champion, to decide whos good... it was never a good way to decide who wil win in a match.. because it is jus too unfair...
i am not disappointed with france, but i felt sad for them. they played very well, they put in a lot of effort in the 2nd half, and they deserved to win, thats my final say, and thought i wanted england to enter the final that much, but it was only down to france and italy in the final, so i regard france as the champions though they lost. cos they are the real winner in the match, italy have no possesions in the 2nd half and even the extra time..
sometimes, although win is a very important thing! but havin played a good game and win is a much more staisfying thing. although france lost, but they played a good game and never disappoint their fans. so they are considered a winner as well,
they should be happy.. they have come a tough way, as from group stages things are not well for them, but they managed to come through, and even beat brazil.
so, they should be proud of themselves coming this far..
anyway, zidane did retired in glory for what i felt. he brought the team all the way to final, he is still a great man..
so next 4 years, i wished there will be more hope for england though beckham isnt the captain! but i hope he will still be playing for england.
End of World Cup 2006
certain emotions!
in a match, on the field, on the court, you can either be the happy one, or the sad one. there is only one winner in a game, and definitely one loser at the end of the game. don mention cruel, cos it definitely is. any mistake made during the game could cost the whole game.
needless to say, world cup is another cruel game. saw how un-sportmanship some players played, saw how some were really good and played their best giving their heart out. saw how some team shared the common goal and worked together. once again, i said penalty shootout was too much of a cruel way to decide whos the real champion, to decide whos good... it was never a good way to decide who wil win in a match.. because it is jus too unfair...
i am not disappointed with france, but i felt sad for them. they played very well, they put in a lot of effort in the 2nd half, and they deserved to win, thats my final say, and thought i wanted england to enter the final that much, but it was only down to france and italy in the final, so i regard france as the champions though they lost. cos they are the real winner in the match, italy have no possesions in the 2nd half and even the extra time..
sometimes, although win is a very important thing! but havin played a good game and win is a much more staisfying thing. although france lost, but they played a good game and never disappoint their fans. so they are considered a winner as well,
they should be happy.. they have come a tough way, as from group stages things are not well for them, but they managed to come through, and even beat brazil.
so, they should be proud of themselves coming this far..
anyway, zidane did retired in glory for what i felt. he brought the team all the way to final, he is still a great man..
so next 4 years, i wished there will be more hope for england though beckham isnt the captain! but i hope he will still be playing for england.
End of World Cup 2006
certain emotions!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
angry at myself? angry at other people? i guess nobody cares...
alright, i know people might kill me if i said this again, my purpose of living....
i am good at nothing!! plain nothing...
ask me what i am good at? and i will tell you "Nothing!"
my studies drop tremendously when i entered poly.... is it because of the course? or i am jus not interested....
i keep losing friends..... is it my problem or i am an idiot?
relationship remains zero...this one can jus put it aside..don even wish to think about it...
and netball...god...where am i standing after 7 years of practising netball...
mates on level with me have improved so much, juniors have flew passed me...and there i am still standing there...
did i ever improve? did i ever try to made myself a better defender? do i still have passion for this game? is this what i want? or did i ever love netball?
i was playing rubbish, totally rubbish!
no fitness, no need to say,
i let my player be free all the times, the worst mistake a defender can make...
i cant focus, i go where my player go, i didnt try to co-ordinate with my team mates..
i am angry at myself of cos, i cant even be on par with other defenders.. always thinking, why are there so many people fighting for a position..always try to shift the blame thinking, "shit, she stole my position?" but i never, never stop and think "whats wrong with me that i always cant get a position" i know i was never good...frankly speaking, passion for something... i lost the feeling like long ago... till now, everythin i did, i never had a passion for it...i sucks, totally sucks....
i bet mj and bird is getting so irritated by me now...mj, i thought i could be a fren she needs when she is in trouble, i thought i was a good fren, i thought we could be frens forever, but i was wrong... my fault? i pulled out? i screwed up my life totally, i cant even maintain a simple friendship..let alone handle other things else.....
who ever say that friendship are easy to maintain, god .. friendship is the hardest to maintain.. i lose alot of friends along the way..why? i have no answer... but i lost a lot of friends...
is it my problem? or i cant handle situations well? or i jus cant stay with a fren for too long?
god, if that is so, then there will never be friends forever in my dictionary...
depression is killing... i don wanna think alot then later i really got terrible depression illness...
my life is in a total mess, i don know what i want right now in my life...
did i lost the passion? shuold i go away before people start hating me? how could i be so cold towards them? i am evil... thats sad...
this is the time i realise that " I'VE CHANGED!!"
next topic : World Cup 2006
god, my England is out, my beck is stepping down,
i have more faith in them wanting to enter semi-finals after hearing each of the players quotes, but penalty shootout was too much of a cruel exit to them...nothing turns out right from england right from the start... with the critisim beck is receiving, are they jus being bias against him? if thats is so.. why? why him? he did nothing wrong to receive all the remarks...
I believe him saying "England is impoving better each game" pretty true.. i thought they play well against portugal... good job, but penalty was too cruel to decide who goes in...initally was frustrated when again and again lampard cant send the ball into the net, but i bet he must be dejected as well...anyway, the most important thing is that they know they put in the best effort and tried their best, shall see them 4 years later and by then i hope they will be a more fiercec and stronger team...
anyway, thumbs up for france!! they beat brazil!! they won the chance to final!!
they are coming up indeed...they fight, they want the qualifications, they want the ball, they play in a team, they all fight with same goals that is to win the world cup and definitely want their captain Zidane to end his career with glory and happy moments!!
happy for them!! they shall fight all th way and win champions!!
world cup is coming to an end, and late nights are coming to a stop...
what am i gona do with my life..i hate it this moment...i hate my life...i simply jus hate everything....
where is my passion?
my meaning for life?
am i too hard on myself?
alright, i know people might kill me if i said this again, my purpose of living....
i am good at nothing!! plain nothing...
ask me what i am good at? and i will tell you "Nothing!"
my studies drop tremendously when i entered poly.... is it because of the course? or i am jus not interested....
i keep losing friends..... is it my problem or i am an idiot?
relationship remains zero...this one can jus put it aside..don even wish to think about it...
and netball...god...where am i standing after 7 years of practising netball...
mates on level with me have improved so much, juniors have flew passed me...and there i am still standing there...
did i ever improve? did i ever try to made myself a better defender? do i still have passion for this game? is this what i want? or did i ever love netball?
i was playing rubbish, totally rubbish!
no fitness, no need to say,
i let my player be free all the times, the worst mistake a defender can make...
i cant focus, i go where my player go, i didnt try to co-ordinate with my team mates..
i am angry at myself of cos, i cant even be on par with other defenders.. always thinking, why are there so many people fighting for a position..always try to shift the blame thinking, "shit, she stole my position?" but i never, never stop and think "whats wrong with me that i always cant get a position" i know i was never good...frankly speaking, passion for something... i lost the feeling like long ago... till now, everythin i did, i never had a passion for it...i sucks, totally sucks....
i bet mj and bird is getting so irritated by me now...mj, i thought i could be a fren she needs when she is in trouble, i thought i was a good fren, i thought we could be frens forever, but i was wrong... my fault? i pulled out? i screwed up my life totally, i cant even maintain a simple friendship..let alone handle other things else.....
who ever say that friendship are easy to maintain, god .. friendship is the hardest to maintain.. i lose alot of friends along the way..why? i have no answer... but i lost a lot of friends...
is it my problem? or i cant handle situations well? or i jus cant stay with a fren for too long?
god, if that is so, then there will never be friends forever in my dictionary...
depression is killing... i don wanna think alot then later i really got terrible depression illness...
my life is in a total mess, i don know what i want right now in my life...
did i lost the passion? shuold i go away before people start hating me? how could i be so cold towards them? i am evil... thats sad...
this is the time i realise that " I'VE CHANGED!!"
next topic : World Cup 2006
god, my England is out, my beck is stepping down,
i have more faith in them wanting to enter semi-finals after hearing each of the players quotes, but penalty shootout was too much of a cruel exit to them...nothing turns out right from england right from the start... with the critisim beck is receiving, are they jus being bias against him? if thats is so.. why? why him? he did nothing wrong to receive all the remarks...
I believe him saying "England is impoving better each game" pretty true.. i thought they play well against portugal... good job, but penalty was too cruel to decide who goes in...initally was frustrated when again and again lampard cant send the ball into the net, but i bet he must be dejected as well...anyway, the most important thing is that they know they put in the best effort and tried their best, shall see them 4 years later and by then i hope they will be a more fiercec and stronger team...
anyway, thumbs up for france!! they beat brazil!! they won the chance to final!!
they are coming up indeed...they fight, they want the qualifications, they want the ball, they play in a team, they all fight with same goals that is to win the world cup and definitely want their captain Zidane to end his career with glory and happy moments!!
happy for them!! they shall fight all th way and win champions!!
world cup is coming to an end, and late nights are coming to a stop...
what am i gona do with my life..i hate it this moment...i hate my life...i simply jus hate everything....
where is my passion?
my meaning for life?
am i too hard on myself?
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
don act as if u know everything
i am terribly bursting in fire today, basically i have nothing to do the whole day, rotting in front of my com as usual.
cut it short then, she doesnt know anythin bout html and tryin to act as if she knows, what i tell her she jus doesnt understand and keep standing on her stand and insist she is correct, come on... though i am not good in html, at least i am better than u...
you tryin to tell me that you are correct and want it your way? fine, i will not argue anymore... i shall jus abide your say, my lord....
broken english everywhere, sometimes i wonder whether she really stayed there for like 6 years? god..
when is this going to be done?
havin nothin to do, people should be please to have nothing to do, but i am not at all... nothing to do... people givin u this "kinda" stares..like u are lazy not doing anything..Come on... i jus have nothing to do...
i said i want to tolerate all the shits given, but sometimes i jus need to vent out...
i seriously wished for all this to end..please...please...i am jus wasting my time sitting in front of the com trying to find things to do...what is this?
my eyes are swollen today, not bcos of not having enough of sleep, but i cried real hard yesterday... it was jus a show, a person died in the show, but from starting of the show i cried til the end...god...amazing..and i cried real hard..very very hard...did the show really made me cry so hard? wahz... i don know and don want to know...but i love cryin so hard..made me feel better..
things jus arent that good...it has been bad..but everytime frens asked me "hey how are u doing", i would jus plainly reply " oh, i am doing fine..thanks" but in fact i am not fine at all or should i say bad...real bad....depression hittin on me again? god..who knows what depression wants...
i am here whinning again........
if u cant face it and you don wanna face it,
the best thing that u can do,
is to avoid it...
cut it short then, she doesnt know anythin bout html and tryin to act as if she knows, what i tell her she jus doesnt understand and keep standing on her stand and insist she is correct, come on... though i am not good in html, at least i am better than u...
you tryin to tell me that you are correct and want it your way? fine, i will not argue anymore... i shall jus abide your say, my lord....
broken english everywhere, sometimes i wonder whether she really stayed there for like 6 years? god..
when is this going to be done?
havin nothin to do, people should be please to have nothing to do, but i am not at all... nothing to do... people givin u this "kinda" stares..like u are lazy not doing anything..Come on... i jus have nothing to do...
i said i want to tolerate all the shits given, but sometimes i jus need to vent out...
i seriously wished for all this to end..please...please...i am jus wasting my time sitting in front of the com trying to find things to do...what is this?
my eyes are swollen today, not bcos of not having enough of sleep, but i cried real hard yesterday... it was jus a show, a person died in the show, but from starting of the show i cried til the end...god...amazing..and i cried real hard..very very hard...did the show really made me cry so hard? wahz... i don know and don want to know...but i love cryin so hard..made me feel better..
things jus arent that good...it has been bad..but everytime frens asked me "hey how are u doing", i would jus plainly reply " oh, i am doing fine..thanks" but in fact i am not fine at all or should i say bad...real bad....depression hittin on me again? god..who knows what depression wants...
i am here whinning again........
if u cant face it and you don wanna face it,
the best thing that u can do,
is to avoid it...
Sunday, June 25, 2006
drama and dramas..........
i just watched back some of the clips of laguna beach, kinda of miss it...
all the dramas, the bitches, the backstabbing, anything that can happen there.. it was a nice show..reality? once i was so into laguna beach, the california, the orange country, their lifestyle, their lifes, their everything...
am i thinking too much into a drama? L.C i like this girl in the drama, more true and more.... she jus seems more pleasing to me..of cos, i want her to be with stephen, but reality.... u cant control their feelings right... just feel that she deserved someone better than jason.... jerk, like kristin has described him to be...how true can reality be? this question is getting interesting...
i feel, different country has their way of filming their dramas, their shows, their way of expressing different emotions.... is just their style....
i jus miss laguna beach with L.C and Stephen.... they jus make a good pair...and i totally admire L.C, cos she is in fashion design...i admire i envy...she is jus living the life i always wanted and wished for... but not the man...hahah..
fine, is another 2 months to go, wahz.. 4 months in total when i am done with itp, is gettting way too long, is getting far too dragging and is getting boring day by day.... having putting a fake smile, give me a break, i am tired....
once again, i cant see my future with me, i cant see my goals in life...
am i standing there again, starting to wonder, what have i done to my life, and what will my life eventually turn out to be? like i say, it seels like i have achieve nothing in life, but stick with dramas everyday....
dramas is new everyday, how u live everyday depends on how the scriptwrite writes ur story? how he wants the story to have a twist today? or let it lie low for jus a day? or u've got urself a bad scriptwriter, writing a dull and boring story for ur life....
i guess it just suits me perfectly, i've got myself a bad scriptwriter....
could i change scriptwriter?
all the dramas, the bitches, the backstabbing, anything that can happen there.. it was a nice show..reality? once i was so into laguna beach, the california, the orange country, their lifestyle, their lifes, their everything...
am i thinking too much into a drama? L.C i like this girl in the drama, more true and more.... she jus seems more pleasing to me..of cos, i want her to be with stephen, but reality.... u cant control their feelings right... just feel that she deserved someone better than jason.... jerk, like kristin has described him to be...how true can reality be? this question is getting interesting...
i feel, different country has their way of filming their dramas, their shows, their way of expressing different emotions.... is just their style....
i jus miss laguna beach with L.C and Stephen.... they jus make a good pair...and i totally admire L.C, cos she is in fashion design...i admire i envy...she is jus living the life i always wanted and wished for... but not the man...hahah..
fine, is another 2 months to go, wahz.. 4 months in total when i am done with itp, is gettting way too long, is getting far too dragging and is getting boring day by day.... having putting a fake smile, give me a break, i am tired....
once again, i cant see my future with me, i cant see my goals in life...
am i standing there again, starting to wonder, what have i done to my life, and what will my life eventually turn out to be? like i say, it seels like i have achieve nothing in life, but stick with dramas everyday....
dramas is new everyday, how u live everyday depends on how the scriptwrite writes ur story? how he wants the story to have a twist today? or let it lie low for jus a day? or u've got urself a bad scriptwriter, writing a dull and boring story for ur life....
i guess it just suits me perfectly, i've got myself a bad scriptwriter....
could i change scriptwriter?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
wahz... i am here once again!
do i have anything to say? yes i do!
beside having 2 more months to endure which i hope times pass like flying rocket! there are so much more things i have to vexed about.
it has always been the same old thing..same old thing...
netball, had a match..but i don know what i am playing... i don know how i fare, i cant communicate... i am givin myself excuses like, it has been so long since i played a match.. first time, so should be excuse... shut up..there is no excuses like that, i have been playin netball for like 7 years..god..i have been playin netball for freaking long 7 years... but i am still there..i don see myself going up...thats why i want to give up..now i cant perform, i cant play well...again i give myself excuses . ..cos i cant play GK....i just cant play that position ..but almost all the coaches like to put me as that..i don understand.. though this cant be a good excuses, there is also no such excuse.. whichever position i am given i should play it well and perform...so in the end what am i doing? i am not being a helpful player on court.... never defend till the end, and now injure myself... miss the next match? who knows...
hahha..talking as if like some big match...which is just small match...stupid me.....
people changes at different stages, their perspectives, their likes and dislikes, their character....
do i have anything to say? yes i do!
beside having 2 more months to endure which i hope times pass like flying rocket! there are so much more things i have to vexed about.
it has always been the same old thing..same old thing...
netball, had a match..but i don know what i am playing... i don know how i fare, i cant communicate... i am givin myself excuses like, it has been so long since i played a match.. first time, so should be excuse... shut up..there is no excuses like that, i have been playin netball for like 7 years..god..i have been playin netball for freaking long 7 years... but i am still there..i don see myself going up...thats why i want to give up..now i cant perform, i cant play well...again i give myself excuses . ..cos i cant play GK....i just cant play that position ..but almost all the coaches like to put me as that..i don understand.. though this cant be a good excuses, there is also no such excuse.. whichever position i am given i should play it well and perform...so in the end what am i doing? i am not being a helpful player on court.... never defend till the end, and now injure myself... miss the next match? who knows...
hahha..talking as if like some big match...which is just small match...stupid me.....
people changes at different stages, their perspectives, their likes and dislikes, their character....
Saturday, June 10, 2006
don know where to put my face!
alright..got alot alot alot of things to say, but some cant be published! haha...
but anyway, working life.. i all long thought, wahz..working life, something i have always wished for. like being a career woman? have my own career, car, my status, sounds great.
but this attachment make me realise alot alot of reality in working world, no one will pity you like we sympathy with our own classmates, no one will help you if u ever need any, no one will care your death or survival. what they think is themselves, whether they excel in the company, whether they earned what they should, whether they gain the trust from their superior, whatever they will be recognised. they have only themselves, they jus think of themselves, no one will pity you, you have to earn what you get. thats simple but cruel. isnt it?
attachment, before i stepped into ATTACHMENT, i was thinking, wahz..working life, at least i get to experience what it really is. but now, i don want that. is getting tiring..have to handle alot alot of things. beside working from 8.30 to 6...mon and thurs i have to go back training. though i really once wanted to give up, maybe thats the place i get divert my stress and unhappiness in that sports and jus give all out.. by the time i reach home is 7..i am so tired...wakin up is the killing part...
before everythin, i was still thinking, oh..maybe after i graduate, i could work firsrt before studying again...but now i never have that thought..i don wanna work! i think i wont be mentally prepared.!!
and i am so so so so so ashamed now!! right now!! argh....hahaha..
but anyway, working life.. i all long thought, wahz..working life, something i have always wished for. like being a career woman? have my own career, car, my status, sounds great.
but this attachment make me realise alot alot of reality in working world, no one will pity you like we sympathy with our own classmates, no one will help you if u ever need any, no one will care your death or survival. what they think is themselves, whether they excel in the company, whether they earned what they should, whether they gain the trust from their superior, whatever they will be recognised. they have only themselves, they jus think of themselves, no one will pity you, you have to earn what you get. thats simple but cruel. isnt it?
attachment, before i stepped into ATTACHMENT, i was thinking, wahz..working life, at least i get to experience what it really is. but now, i don want that. is getting tiring..have to handle alot alot of things. beside working from 8.30 to 6...mon and thurs i have to go back training. though i really once wanted to give up, maybe thats the place i get divert my stress and unhappiness in that sports and jus give all out.. by the time i reach home is 7..i am so tired...wakin up is the killing part...
before everythin, i was still thinking, oh..maybe after i graduate, i could work firsrt before studying again...but now i never have that thought..i don wanna work! i think i wont be mentally prepared.!!
and i am so so so so so ashamed now!! right now!! argh....hahaha..
Sunday, June 04, 2006
alot of things i want to say, but is either it slipped off my mind or .............................
once i love camera, cos i want to keep every happiness down, taking pictures of them, so i will remembered all the happy things or things that i went thru, but now i have a different thinking,i felt that camera cant capture the moment of emoions that stirred up. what really capture that moment of happiness,emotions and picture is my eyes and heart..my eyes capture that moment, my heart felt the emotions.. ya...then no longer storing the pictures in the computer, i shall store it in my brain, playing back sometimes when i feel like it, doesnt this sound logical? i thought it does...
what has gotten into me? everyone is saying i am down and sad? am i ? makes me sound so pathetic,feel like crying already..is not that i am down and sad, i guess is just that, i am not happy and not having funn like i always use to.. i miss myself, i miss myself having lots and lots and lots of fun,i miss myself when i am myself...is it that every year, people have to go through depression? F*** i hate that...depression sucks!! here i am stuck in attachment worse, no cher no jiayi equals to no fun..
Victor aked me " why am i working so hard for?" work from monday to sunday...ya..why am i working so hard for? i am not in need of cash... then why the hell am i working so hard for? i told him, " Good question but i don have the answer" i don even know why the hell i am working so hard for...tolerate customer's ignorance, impatient and everything...so why am i working so hard for? can someone help me find the answer...??
i failed to meet my frens everytime.. esp luo,vin and yeo...haha..they say i never mention them here...YES I DID..pls go refer to my very long ago post......i did! haha...of cos i have to mention them, they are the only secondary school frens i left with..pathetic again? how come pathetic is always used on me? Idiot...thry are really the seconday frens i am left with, the 3 of their problems i am always last to know,but nevertheless, they would update me with their things and problems...thats good! i thank them for being my frens until now... nearly 4 years has passed since we left school, it jus like yesterday...this 4 years passed so fast...i am feeling breathless trying to catch up with time..
i am tired and worn-out!! i need a long quiet alone rest!! mentally drained out...........
jfren, are u doing fine? missing schooling...
cfren, pls stop being lame....missing your silly jokes...
recommend me nice watch
......time to change watch.......
once i love camera, cos i want to keep every happiness down, taking pictures of them, so i will remembered all the happy things or things that i went thru, but now i have a different thinking,i felt that camera cant capture the moment of emoions that stirred up. what really capture that moment of happiness,emotions and picture is my eyes and heart..my eyes capture that moment, my heart felt the emotions.. ya...then no longer storing the pictures in the computer, i shall store it in my brain, playing back sometimes when i feel like it, doesnt this sound logical? i thought it does...
what has gotten into me? everyone is saying i am down and sad? am i ? makes me sound so pathetic,feel like crying already..is not that i am down and sad, i guess is just that, i am not happy and not having funn like i always use to.. i miss myself, i miss myself having lots and lots and lots of fun,i miss myself when i am myself...is it that every year, people have to go through depression? F*** i hate that...depression sucks!! here i am stuck in attachment worse, no cher no jiayi equals to no fun..
Victor aked me " why am i working so hard for?" work from monday to sunday...ya..why am i working so hard for? i am not in need of cash... then why the hell am i working so hard for? i told him, " Good question but i don have the answer" i don even know why the hell i am working so hard for...tolerate customer's ignorance, impatient and everything...so why am i working so hard for? can someone help me find the answer...??
i failed to meet my frens everytime.. esp luo,vin and yeo...haha..they say i never mention them here...YES I DID..pls go refer to my very long ago post......i did! haha...of cos i have to mention them, they are the only secondary school frens i left with..pathetic again? how come pathetic is always used on me? Idiot...thry are really the seconday frens i am left with, the 3 of their problems i am always last to know,but nevertheless, they would update me with their things and problems...thats good! i thank them for being my frens until now... nearly 4 years has passed since we left school, it jus like yesterday...this 4 years passed so fast...i am feeling breathless trying to catch up with time..
i am tired and worn-out!! i need a long quiet alone rest!! mentally drained out...........
jfren, are u doing fine? missing schooling...
cfren, pls stop being lame....missing your silly jokes...
recommend me nice watch
......time to change watch.......
Sunday, May 28, 2006
i only want to be with you
I don't know what is that makes me love you so
I only know I never wanna let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see?
That ever since we met you've ahd a hold on me
It happens to be true I only want to be with you
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care '
Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do I only want to be with you
No matter what you do I only want to be with you
''this song has been stuck in my head..i think is really nice....''
i don know whats wrong with me...what have i been thinking and doing...i thought i want to live my life doing what i love and doing what i want?
but how come i thought netball was one of what i love to play...how come now i am in between to stay or to leave...
i am being said that "is not you" i always tell people that "eh...is so not you"... now finaly someone told me that i am not myself? what set me thinking what i want in life? what makes me having so many questions marks in my mind...? what set my mind bursting...this is crazy..and killing .....i hate it...what i don want to go back? or why i want to stay...i jus cant simply find any answer...or maybe i know it deep in my heart..which one stands more? i am given one night to think bout it...but maybe i will never find the answer forever..
maybe they might think this time i go back, i am not serious about it..i thought it clearly...but i was given another one night, so it means that she feels that i am not serious about going back..maybe the setback i suffered is much more.. i put netball on one of the top piority i could give...but now...the rank has dropped...why is that so? F**King bothered by it...
i know where i will stand in the team..i know i am not good enough..but i jus love playin the game..but now..do i enjoyin playin the game..Shit..i don know..F**K is killing me..
how useless could i get...i cant even solve this small little matter...then what can i do?
idiot..i jus need someone to clearly tell me whether i should or i shouldnt..this time i thought of a fren.......
i am just a useless bum...maybe i paid too much attention in what i want to achieve, and whether will training be a waste of time again...cos i wasted too much time on somethin that i didnt really fancy..
if i were to say i want to go back trainin but i could play on the first game...then will people believed i am serious in going back?
if i were to say i want to go back trainin but can only come for trianin on monday...will people believed i am serious in going back?
F**K even i don think i am serious in going back ...
asssss lahz...so whats my conclusion after such a long whinning...
why i think so much? why i look so far...shouldnt i just take a step at a time..and not take ten steps when my feet is not that big enoguh...
i had enough of myself...what is it that i really want..DAMM...F**KING HELL!!
I only know I never wanna let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see?
That ever since we met you've ahd a hold on me
It happens to be true I only want to be with you
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care '
Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do I only want to be with you
No matter what you do I only want to be with you
''this song has been stuck in my head..i think is really nice....''
i don know whats wrong with me...what have i been thinking and doing...i thought i want to live my life doing what i love and doing what i want?
but how come i thought netball was one of what i love to play...how come now i am in between to stay or to leave...
i am being said that "is not you" i always tell people that "eh...is so not you"... now finaly someone told me that i am not myself? what set me thinking what i want in life? what makes me having so many questions marks in my mind...? what set my mind bursting...this is crazy..and killing .....i hate it...what i don want to go back? or why i want to stay...i jus cant simply find any answer...or maybe i know it deep in my heart..which one stands more? i am given one night to think bout it...but maybe i will never find the answer forever..
maybe they might think this time i go back, i am not serious about it..i thought it clearly...but i was given another one night, so it means that she feels that i am not serious about going back..maybe the setback i suffered is much more.. i put netball on one of the top piority i could give...but now...the rank has dropped...why is that so? F**King bothered by it...
i know where i will stand in the team..i know i am not good enough..but i jus love playin the game..but now..do i enjoyin playin the game..Shit..i don know..F**K is killing me..
how useless could i get...i cant even solve this small little matter...then what can i do?
idiot..i jus need someone to clearly tell me whether i should or i shouldnt..this time i thought of a fren.......
i am just a useless bum...maybe i paid too much attention in what i want to achieve, and whether will training be a waste of time again...cos i wasted too much time on somethin that i didnt really fancy..
if i were to say i want to go back trainin but i could play on the first game...then will people believed i am serious in going back?
if i were to say i want to go back trainin but can only come for trianin on monday...will people believed i am serious in going back?
F**K even i don think i am serious in going back ...
asssss lahz...so whats my conclusion after such a long whinning...
why i think so much? why i look so far...shouldnt i just take a step at a time..and not take ten steps when my feet is not that big enoguh...
i had enough of myself...what is it that i really want..DAMM...F**KING HELL!!
Friday, May 26, 2006
my cousin recently told me something that i never want to admit. she mention that i am very easily influenced. be it surroundings,people,celebrities,dramas. she remembered that there was once like 3 years ago, i was very quiet and don feel like talking. did i? i thought i was always the sunshine... ha .. ha.. ha..
anyway,she did mention some good points that i never realise it at all. things we cant put down, or we keep thinking we cant put down... i told her, you never know until a new one comes by. but she say, no sometimes even if ta new one comes by, u still wont kknow whether u put down.. although the best solution isnt this but she suggest avoids for a long time.. don think bout things u cant put down, use that concentration you had on the thing and put it on other thin..studies?work? or evjust other stuffs... who doenst know this? is always easy to say,hard to do.. isnt it?
there must always be reasons for things you cant put down, cant give up...ur determination to find the answer? your will to perseve till the end might be all the reasons for all the stubborness for not leting go.. isnt it?
though attachment is taking me 4 months, but during this 4 months, i realise alot of things.. things that i shouldnt do or things i should do.. from sec 5 i already had a wrong mindset about education.. i wasted 3 years to realise my dream, and i waste 3 years school fees to realise my dream..w what a waste and rubbish i am doing...
if upon my graduation, i set into society and work, working some jobs that i dont like, then what am i living for? i guess i am self-fish. thinking of myself and what i want to do.. but isnt this the reason for people ? to do things you love? now i found something i like, but i cant pursue... who says money cant make wonders? money can make me wonder with studies...with money, i can get out of singapore and study overseas and study the course i like.. i know it is rude for me to say all this, but i cant deny that this is the fact...
thinking of my life after graduation, study? working? if i were to start working then i gues my life will be damm sad... drowning with a pile of admin works, bored to hell, and wearing formal wears.....what is this? i dont want this kind of life.. my other half part of life is already pathetic enough..how come my education life cant be better? can it be? will it be?i will be hopeful....
am i really such an easily influence person? am i?
anyway,she did mention some good points that i never realise it at all. things we cant put down, or we keep thinking we cant put down... i told her, you never know until a new one comes by. but she say, no sometimes even if ta new one comes by, u still wont kknow whether u put down.. although the best solution isnt this but she suggest avoids for a long time.. don think bout things u cant put down, use that concentration you had on the thing and put it on other thin..studies?work? or evjust other stuffs... who doenst know this? is always easy to say,hard to do.. isnt it?
there must always be reasons for things you cant put down, cant give up...ur determination to find the answer? your will to perseve till the end might be all the reasons for all the stubborness for not leting go.. isnt it?
though attachment is taking me 4 months, but during this 4 months, i realise alot of things.. things that i shouldnt do or things i should do.. from sec 5 i already had a wrong mindset about education.. i wasted 3 years to realise my dream, and i waste 3 years school fees to realise my dream..w what a waste and rubbish i am doing...
if upon my graduation, i set into society and work, working some jobs that i dont like, then what am i living for? i guess i am self-fish. thinking of myself and what i want to do.. but isnt this the reason for people ? to do things you love? now i found something i like, but i cant pursue... who says money cant make wonders? money can make me wonder with studies...with money, i can get out of singapore and study overseas and study the course i like.. i know it is rude for me to say all this, but i cant deny that this is the fact...
thinking of my life after graduation, study? working? if i were to start working then i gues my life will be damm sad... drowning with a pile of admin works, bored to hell, and wearing formal wears.....what is this? i dont want this kind of life.. my other half part of life is already pathetic enough..how come my education life cant be better? can it be? will it be?i will be hopeful....
am i really such an easily influence person? am i?
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
long wait
great, i got myself stuck with korean fantasy...haha..from japan to taiwan to korea...i sway with the wind...i go with the crowd... i follow my feelings...
finally, 1 long awaiting month has passed for attachment..is pretty unbearable have to wake up freaking early when my brain isnt functioning.... knockin off work at 6 plus.. the worst part is the coldness is gona dry up my skin and lips...when i return to school, al my face are filled with dry skin...eeeekkkk.....
will i regret if i stop now? i have been thinking...why should i go back if everytime, i have to drag myself back to training... every mon and thur,i have to drag myself to training..i even hope that it rains as big as possible...draggin myself to training is consider bad when last time i am so enthu towards training...even raining also have to go..but now...do i really want to play netball? i seriously cant find the answer...
honestly, for such a simple problem i cant even solve, then how am i suppose to find my way out the place i want to go...
will there be any future? should i go on holding to it? or i have been thinking too much?
anyway, i realise the meaning of being happy when u see people u like happy...maybe this might be easier said than done..not in real life...but i am happy when i see both celebs i like being a couple...felt so happy for them...maybe i feel happy for them is because, i want them to be together...seeing them together is also what i wish for, thats why i am happy... is this saying correct?
anyway, i don want to think so much, but there are so many things kept inside my mind....
how can things change? was it i who change?
maybe.....
finally, 1 long awaiting month has passed for attachment..is pretty unbearable have to wake up freaking early when my brain isnt functioning.... knockin off work at 6 plus.. the worst part is the coldness is gona dry up my skin and lips...when i return to school, al my face are filled with dry skin...eeeekkkk.....
will i regret if i stop now? i have been thinking...why should i go back if everytime, i have to drag myself back to training... every mon and thur,i have to drag myself to training..i even hope that it rains as big as possible...draggin myself to training is consider bad when last time i am so enthu towards training...even raining also have to go..but now...do i really want to play netball? i seriously cant find the answer...
honestly, for such a simple problem i cant even solve, then how am i suppose to find my way out the place i want to go...
will there be any future? should i go on holding to it? or i have been thinking too much?
anyway, i realise the meaning of being happy when u see people u like happy...maybe this might be easier said than done..not in real life...but i am happy when i see both celebs i like being a couple...felt so happy for them...maybe i feel happy for them is because, i want them to be together...seeing them together is also what i wish for, thats why i am happy... is this saying correct?
anyway, i don want to think so much, but there are so many things kept inside my mind....
how can things change? was it i who change?
maybe.....
Saturday, May 20, 2006
can i be alittle childish this time? jus for this time?
hahha...fantasy..i am always wishing for fantasy...those dramas keep bringing me to their world of fantasy...haha...so,being in their world of fantasy, i felt the fantasy as well..haha...
so, lets start with a korean compatible and loving couple, upon seeing them being really together, of cos i feel happy...cos they match each other, the guy is smart,handsome and gentleman, the other hand the lady is tall,sweet,beautiful and cute... they jus match perfectly good together....
from them, i saw that they love each other as much, there isnt really a difference that u might see either one have stronger feelings for another..their love for each other feels equal... isnt it good? that they love each other, cos in reality i guess is pretty hard to find another whom u love and on the other hand love u as well...seeing alot of examples thats what i feel...so everytime i see them, they are like so sweet and lovingly together...they are jus so happy...i guess somehow first impression counts,followed by the character in that particular.... what if they never acted together in dramas, will they still be together? so should i also called this fate? or destiny? haha..
being bored at work, having nothing to do, i am back into worlds of fantasy,dramas,and whatever things that can come into my mind...
going back to training this question still hasnt left my mind......hahha..idiot me man!! crazy..haiz...
hahha...fantasy..i am always wishing for fantasy...those dramas keep bringing me to their world of fantasy...haha...so,being in their world of fantasy, i felt the fantasy as well..haha...
so, lets start with a korean compatible and loving couple, upon seeing them being really together, of cos i feel happy...cos they match each other, the guy is smart,handsome and gentleman, the other hand the lady is tall,sweet,beautiful and cute... they jus match perfectly good together....
from them, i saw that they love each other as much, there isnt really a difference that u might see either one have stronger feelings for another..their love for each other feels equal... isnt it good? that they love each other, cos in reality i guess is pretty hard to find another whom u love and on the other hand love u as well...seeing alot of examples thats what i feel...so everytime i see them, they are like so sweet and lovingly together...they are jus so happy...i guess somehow first impression counts,followed by the character in that particular.... what if they never acted together in dramas, will they still be together? so should i also called this fate? or destiny? haha..
being bored at work, having nothing to do, i am back into worlds of fantasy,dramas,and whatever things that can come into my mind...
going back to training this question still hasnt left my mind......hahha..idiot me man!! crazy..haiz...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Sunday, May 14, 2006
dreams
dreams..i bet alot of people have their own dream..what they want to become? what they want..they dream the things they love..i dream..but i also day dream...people have practical dreams...their dreams are something they are working towards for...thats can also be describe as their goal in life.. but as for me..what is my dream? what is my goal in life?
i guess i haven found it..been pretty depressed about it...now i admire those who have their dream..at least they konw what they are working towards..but what about me? i know nuts...people say"dreams, we can always go and find our own dreams" of cos i understand we can always find our dreams...it isnt that i dont have dreams..but my dreams are
1) how i wish i am a singer
2) i wanna be a pilot
3) wahz ..i wanna act
4) i wanna be a famous person
5) i wanna be a carrer woman
i wanna puke when i wrote all these...what are they? freaking ridiculous...of cos i yearn for a wonderful life..i want to do things i love to do..but due to circumstances issues, not everything i want i can pursue...what i want to be..i must be the best to be outstanding for the dream of my job..but i konw i cant do it...many have things they wanna do, goals they working for,but when i think of myself, what a pathetic soul... i don know what i want..that is sad..i am depressed...what do i want to achieve in life?
what if one day, someone ask me " hey so what u want to do in life"
great...i have no answers to that...i cant answer what i want to do in life...i know alot of things i don have confidence in...
what if one day someone ask me" so what are u good at?"
god...i am not good at anything...how can i answer...or should i say " is watching tv something to be consider good at?" F**K i don think so....
i think my life is so miserable have not understanding what i want to do....what are my goals...in secondary school, teacher always asked " so tell me what is your goal in life" for the sake of being able to give teacher an answer... i will tell teacher " oh..i wanna be a career woman.." or i will say " i wanna be a teacher" gosh..everyone has that dream...whats so fantastic about mine? they are jus the sake of answering questions in a way that i wont embrassed myself.... now i know the importance of having goals in life...having knowing what you are doing or what you wanna do in life, will let u enjoy your live..because you are working towards something and doing things you love...
i hate myself for not able to know what i want and to do what i want..i want to achieve something...
i want to study fashion..but am i capable of doing that..i wasted 3 years in poly to realise i have no goals in life..i don wish to waste another 3 years down to road to realise that isnt my goal..3 years might seems short of a girl..but how long am i able to live...is unpredictable..time is precious i konw...sometimes i understand the good points of somethings...
my life is freaking in a mess and having nothing to work for..F**K......................................................
people might think " come on why get so fuss up because you don know what u want to do" but this simple thing means alot to me...i want to live for something i love to do..i want to do someting i love..but whats wrong with me? i have no idea...
is it a period of depression? i guess so... i have no goal in life....
training wasnt good...so i asked myself again, is this what i really want? or am i pleasing jus to have an happy ending? or is it that i don want to have regrets in my life anymore...
i was thinking it was the last year anyway, so why don i just go back training and have a happy ending...but i am not happy at all...i thought passion would overcome emotions but i was wrong...
i have no idea whats wrong with me? i jus feel like being alone .... entertaining is so tiring... i am tired of my life.........
i guess i haven found it..been pretty depressed about it...now i admire those who have their dream..at least they konw what they are working towards..but what about me? i know nuts...people say"dreams, we can always go and find our own dreams" of cos i understand we can always find our dreams...it isnt that i dont have dreams..but my dreams are
1) how i wish i am a singer
2) i wanna be a pilot
3) wahz ..i wanna act
4) i wanna be a famous person
5) i wanna be a carrer woman
i wanna puke when i wrote all these...what are they? freaking ridiculous...of cos i yearn for a wonderful life..i want to do things i love to do..but due to circumstances issues, not everything i want i can pursue...what i want to be..i must be the best to be outstanding for the dream of my job..but i konw i cant do it...many have things they wanna do, goals they working for,but when i think of myself, what a pathetic soul... i don know what i want..that is sad..i am depressed...what do i want to achieve in life?
what if one day, someone ask me " hey so what u want to do in life"
great...i have no answers to that...i cant answer what i want to do in life...i know alot of things i don have confidence in...
what if one day someone ask me" so what are u good at?"
god...i am not good at anything...how can i answer...or should i say " is watching tv something to be consider good at?" F**K i don think so....
i think my life is so miserable have not understanding what i want to do....what are my goals...in secondary school, teacher always asked " so tell me what is your goal in life" for the sake of being able to give teacher an answer... i will tell teacher " oh..i wanna be a career woman.." or i will say " i wanna be a teacher" gosh..everyone has that dream...whats so fantastic about mine? they are jus the sake of answering questions in a way that i wont embrassed myself.... now i know the importance of having goals in life...having knowing what you are doing or what you wanna do in life, will let u enjoy your live..because you are working towards something and doing things you love...
i hate myself for not able to know what i want and to do what i want..i want to achieve something...
i want to study fashion..but am i capable of doing that..i wasted 3 years in poly to realise i have no goals in life..i don wish to waste another 3 years down to road to realise that isnt my goal..3 years might seems short of a girl..but how long am i able to live...is unpredictable..time is precious i konw...sometimes i understand the good points of somethings...
my life is freaking in a mess and having nothing to work for..F**K......................................................
people might think " come on why get so fuss up because you don know what u want to do" but this simple thing means alot to me...i want to live for something i love to do..i want to do someting i love..but whats wrong with me? i have no idea...
is it a period of depression? i guess so... i have no goal in life....
training wasnt good...so i asked myself again, is this what i really want? or am i pleasing jus to have an happy ending? or is it that i don want to have regrets in my life anymore...
i was thinking it was the last year anyway, so why don i just go back training and have a happy ending...but i am not happy at all...i thought passion would overcome emotions but i was wrong...
i have no idea whats wrong with me? i jus feel like being alone .... entertaining is so tiring... i am tired of my life.........
Friday, May 12, 2006
i am felt with mixed feelings right now... so many things that affect my emotions today... sometimes i feel that i am a horrible person...i can change mood jus like a click..
i am glad that i was being appreciated during work which gave me some confidence....
anyway, i am starting to ponder again..the committment i used to have for netball...will it still stays on? seriously in a super dilemma now...though i have gone back for training, but it seems that i feel time is hard to pass....should it be like "wahz...is 9 already, so fast" but it doesnt seems this way, i think i don enjoy playing netball anymore? though my relations with them arent good, but i don feel left out.. i am fine being alone or whatsoever, but it like i am waiting for time to pass...why am i back again? i thought it was the passion for the game, i thought was the love for the sports...but now, i think likewise...what is wrong with me? is this what i want? or should i jus continue being the last year in poly? i want to have fun while training, but i just couldnt... what should i do? i need advise......
great, a change of drastic mood..i was being so bitchy and hyper when i went to my cousin house....super "3 8"...god...is this really me? but what a nice house and decoration..everyday after a hard work, return to a comfy house...thats sound so nice....isnt it? in the comfy house, u see things u love, u see the hard work u put inside and living in the cosy house with someone u wish to spend ur life with...isnt that great.... hmm..i guess i got the criteria to be a fairytale writer, cos everythin i wish for happy everafter...
i know drama love doesnt exist in real life, but they are too much for drama, so much so i always wish to be the main actress inside....drama love is full of fantasy and full of dreams and expectations... you put in effort the other got touched...everythin will then slowly fall in place... living happily ever after...
the drama love is so full of sparks and life...u can feel how much they love each other, u can feel the happines among them..so shold i praise them as good actors? ha ha ......
mono life....waking up,goin to work,starin in front of the laptop,waitin for break,goin back staring at the laptop and leave work... i will be in this kind of life for like 3 months more...god..who can stand it man....
i really really understand reality world is so different..i guess i am still a kid...
i am glad that i was being appreciated during work which gave me some confidence....
anyway, i am starting to ponder again..the committment i used to have for netball...will it still stays on? seriously in a super dilemma now...though i have gone back for training, but it seems that i feel time is hard to pass....should it be like "wahz...is 9 already, so fast" but it doesnt seems this way, i think i don enjoy playing netball anymore? though my relations with them arent good, but i don feel left out.. i am fine being alone or whatsoever, but it like i am waiting for time to pass...why am i back again? i thought it was the passion for the game, i thought was the love for the sports...but now, i think likewise...what is wrong with me? is this what i want? or should i jus continue being the last year in poly? i want to have fun while training, but i just couldnt... what should i do? i need advise......
great, a change of drastic mood..i was being so bitchy and hyper when i went to my cousin house....super "3 8"...god...is this really me? but what a nice house and decoration..everyday after a hard work, return to a comfy house...thats sound so nice....isnt it? in the comfy house, u see things u love, u see the hard work u put inside and living in the cosy house with someone u wish to spend ur life with...isnt that great.... hmm..i guess i got the criteria to be a fairytale writer, cos everythin i wish for happy everafter...
i know drama love doesnt exist in real life, but they are too much for drama, so much so i always wish to be the main actress inside....drama love is full of fantasy and full of dreams and expectations... you put in effort the other got touched...everythin will then slowly fall in place... living happily ever after...
the drama love is so full of sparks and life...u can feel how much they love each other, u can feel the happines among them..so shold i praise them as good actors? ha ha ......
mono life....waking up,goin to work,starin in front of the laptop,waitin for break,goin back staring at the laptop and leave work... i will be in this kind of life for like 3 months more...god..who can stand it man....
i really really understand reality world is so different..i guess i am still a kid...
Sunday, May 07, 2006
我可以寫華文了!好開心哦!!哈!哈! 可是如果要我用华文来写正篇文章的话，因该会不行!所以只会写一点点而以。我想啊，我的华文也好不到那里去，要我用华文来谈，我会结巴。很没用吧!
喔! 这样的话我可以写一些只能用华文来表达的感触。
在[左边][遇上爱]是[过敏]的季节，该不该[庆祝][找不到]的爱情，那些在[ ] 里面的字都是杨丞琳的新歌的歌名。哈!哈!
wahz..it is so tiring using chinese to write...jus not flexible with it, have to think so much, the pinyin and everything..but unlike english, you write what u think..hahaha...or should i say u spell what u think...
now then i realise i am concerned about Singapore political issues...hahha...so funny...
anyway i arent in a good mood today...not sure why..but feel like crying almost every moment...god, tears jus like flowing down my eyes...
喔! 这样的话我可以写一些只能用华文来表达的感触。
在[左边][遇上爱]是[过敏]的季节，该不该[庆祝][找不到]的爱情，那些在[ ] 里面的字都是杨丞琳的新歌的歌名。哈!哈!
wahz..it is so tiring using chinese to write...jus not flexible with it, have to think so much, the pinyin and everything..but unlike english, you write what u think..hahaha...or should i say u spell what u think...
now then i realise i am concerned about Singapore political issues...hahha...so funny...
anyway i arent in a good mood today...not sure why..but feel like crying almost every moment...god, tears jus like flowing down my eyes...
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