my mind never stop for a second, every minute, every second, my mind is working. It seems that i will always have something to think about, be it my dream, be it day-dreaming or any other things. I always have something in mind, but is gone in the other minute. Just like i always feel that i have alot to write and some to share, but when it comes to really writing it down, the "feel" isn't there.
i can't differentiate whether i am independent or trying to act independent. Recently, i have never stopped thinking of living by myself, i am starting to yearn for a live i call my own. You can say i am selfish, but i think i was too independent. Never like to rely on anyone and maybe that's the reason i don't want/need friends. Because i will never want to experience disappointment again and again. So, i'll always remind myself :"that i don't need anyone, cos i can only trust myself and i can only depend on my own". I've gone weary trusting many but to be disappointed at the end of the day. I think i am trained to be too independent. For sometime, i have imagine life on my own in another country, imagine myself dealing with all the difficulties and the challenges in another country. I want a life i called my own. Life is full of contradictions, one hand you want a life of your own but on another hand, you have commitments that are call "family" that hold you back. I know it's not going to be easy and it is going to be tougher then i thought. But, if that is how i want my life to be, then i should go and give it a try. I have been reminded that life is too short for regrets, and there is only this life to live your life. So, i really can't wait for the day to come. Scold me selfish or irresponsible, anything you can think of. But, i do not want to lead an unhappy life.
this song was introduced to me by my cousin, she said when she heard it, she thinks that the lyrics are about me...
风雨停歇之后 远方会挂上彩虹
眼泪晒干以后 嘴角会扬起笑容
我已渐渐习惯一个人的那种自由
只是偶尔想起 还有一点点难过
现在的你在什么地方
过着什么样的生活
是否还有一样的任性执着
还会犯同样的错
我们拥抱不同的天空
却有相似的寂寞
每当夜深人静 脆弱的时候
你会不会想到我
也许天亮以后 各自有新的生活
我会偷偷的记得 你曾经那样懂我
虽然只是朋友了 却是回忆里最深刻
the moment i heard this song, i had a lot of mixed feelings, how can there be another person that truly knows what i am thinking or what i have been through. My top like song in my ipod now! love! love!
There are really a lot of things that i do not know how to explain, how to express, but i will turn them into sentences which i will understand.
i really can't wait for December to come so i can get away from here and go to a favourite place i wish to call my second home....
