wow! happy 2009! every year the same old thing, what can be newer than this? my new year resolution is to " Be Myself ". Frankly speaking, i am not a good person, not kind, nothing at all. where's all the meaningful things in my life gone to? i have so many things i want to achieve but neither way could help me in fulfilling it. please do not think that i have sank down again, it's just that my surroundings is not pleasing me. i am not happy with whatever i have done. i felt that i have not accomplished anything in life, nothing that made me proud of myself. i am not a lovable child, not a good friend, not a hardworking employee and definitely not a nice person.
This few weeks, i am experiencing that i am losing myself. Where's my identity? Suddenly, i felt lost again. This is not a good head start in the new year. i am starting to treat people coldly, giving attitude and being mean and sarcastic. Is this the real me? i am not trying to brag about myself here, but i always have this impression of me as being a very nice person, trying every single ways to please people, being easy-going, just a good impression of myself. But recently, i felt that i don't portray myself like that anymore. i am not a nice person, never try to please people, not easy-going and please stay away from me and a bad girl. WHY? okay, i think i am yanking non stop.
Some stuffs are just meant to be. i cannot keep on going like this, i have to buck up my life and find my ultimate goal in life. Buck Up gwenny!
