sometime i just wish that i don't wish

recently, i feel the fear. the fear of not attaining anything in my whole life. i fear that things won't turn out as what i expected. i fear that i will be in heavy debt just in order to pursue my DREAMS. i seriously fear for my passion and dream. how come i can't just be a simple minded and easy contented lady. why i just can't be happy with what i have now. why can't i just be satisfied with my current life which is consider normal. why must i be so stubborn on my dreams. the fear was kept under me, i didn't wanna face it didn't wanna admit it. i am scared, i am afraid, i fear.


Now,let's relax and allow me to discourse my End-of-year 2007 Hongkong trip.
this time round, i didn't go with bestie,this time round it wasn't a short trip, this time round it was a cold trip, this time round i learnt alot from this trip, this time round this trip is considered fruitful, this time round i am more familiarize with hongkong.this time round i spoke proper and more accurate cantonese, this time round cabs uncle praise my ability to speak cantonese. this time round i am able to wear boots in hongkong, this time round i am wearing full leggings in hongkong,this time round i love the weather in hongkong. this time round we went to the outback of hongkong. this time round i made wished in hongkong. this time round i spent Christmas eve in Lan Kwai Fong, this time round i spent Christmas Day in Macau, this time round we went around hongkong, this time round i had "Ji Dan Zai" everyday,this time round i bought nicer things, this time round i travelled to shenzhen, this time round shenzhen is scary at night, this time round i felt that i am lucky to be born in singapore, stupid, i should just stop all this time round. tired of it.

people are always not content of their presents' , they have to be at the worst to feel fortunate, to be at the best to feel misfortunate. when i was in shenzhen, i saw how poor people can get, how low and poor the living standards it was, at once i felt so so fortunate to be blessed with nice home, nice family and friends and nice clothes and nice and clean environment. but the moment i am back in singapore, i guess i start to take everything for granted. human's like me are always not gratified with everything that i have. i should be banished from all the good stuffs that i am enjoying. but this trip i went to the wishing tree that was always the scene in Hongkong TVB Dramas. though, the tree isn't like before with all the blessing tied up on the tree cos the branch did break. for safety reasons, no more throwings are allowed. we can just wished and be blessed. i am happy that we went to the more urban area to see another peaceful side of hongkong. when we were there everything was first class, train we also took first class, the ferry to macau we also took the deluxe class, then when we fly back to singapore we were upgrade to business class!! just because we dress appropriate for business class, in hongkong we stayed at a boutique hotel! damn NICE!!! very DESIGNER!! Superb CONCEPT!!the whole trip is nothing but comfort! except for all the customs pass-through, that was torturing!very torturing.
hmm, how bout i'll stop till now.

hongkong is fun!
Last song of 2007

最長的電影
我們的開始　是很長的電影
放映了三年　我票都還留著
冰上的芭蕾　腦海中還在旋轉
望著妳　慢慢忘記妳

＃朦朧的時間　我們溜了多遠　
冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變　
如果再重來　會不會稍嫌狼狽　
愛是不是不開口才珍貴
＊再給我兩分鐘　讓我把記憶結成冰　別融化了眼淚　妳妝都花了
要我怎麼記得　記得妳要我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧　
妳說妳會哭　不是因為在乎＊

如果
不瞞你說　我真的有想過
從今以後不再跟你　有任何聯絡
不要再試著暗示我　後來你發現甚麼

不瞞你說　並不特別寂寞
接下來的幾個週末　節目特別多
偶而會有人喜歡我　但並不代表甚麼

＊現在的我　不缺甚麼　
認真的生活　偶而會難過　
新朋友很多　他們不夠瞭解我（他們都不瞭解我）　
問了太多　我只是微笑的帶過　
未來的我　沒有如果　
不相信星座　能預告甚麼　
假設那麼多　過去會不會復活　
最好沒有如果

不瞞你說　經過幾次風波
你不能再從我臉上　讀出些甚麼
要適應的事越來越多　改變的不止是我

Repeat ＊假設那麼多　過去能不能來過我不相信如果

sometimes i wish time won't pass away so fast

Woah! Happy New Year everybody!! Happy 2008!! what a striking fast year that went away just like that! did a new top picture to welcome a brand new 2008.so many things happen to me in this whole year. so many changes made, so many unexpected. but no matter how, i still have to deal with all this that come chasing behind me. bravo! what a fucking bad year.

new year resolution? hmm, my new year resolution always never come true, but i guess i found the reason for that. cos, i have been waiting for my resolution to come true while i did nothing to change. if i wanna my resolution to come true i should so something to myself. i should change myself and i should be the one MAKING my resolution come true and not doing nothing.

frankly,just came back from the familiar hongkong. how many times must i go there? ha! it was my 4th time. amazing how i can go back to the same country for four times. what is it that they have it there that keeps attracting me back. maybe is not the place, maybe is just a getaway. a getaway to de-stress and find a new goal. but still hongkong, i love hongkong. the weather there was good! was cooling and cold. i like the weather there. there so much for me to say but i guess i shall hold on to it and have a happy new year.

have a good holiday everybody!