it has been a long time since i have blog...too many tings..too many things happen since F.O camp...be it bad or good..but i guess somehow it is always on the bad side...i don know what to say..but jus feel utterly disappointed...but thru all this i learn somethings and picked up some things on the ways...
First--> if i have no feelings for that person,like i no longer hate that person,or have any feelings for that particular person,she might have made me boil until my anger reach its climax,but if i no longer hate her or have any feelings, i ujnderstand that she is nothing to me...what she is goin to do or has done wont bother me further...cos to me she is jus NOTHING...yar..thats what i feel...she doesnt have much power to affect me anymore..
Second--> saw how guys treat girls like toys and play arouund...guys are jus so different from girls..girls treasure every little thing..be it friends.boyfriends,family,work friends....to girls everything means alot...but to guys they seems like jus peanuts..nothing...as a girl i pity myself and fellow mates...
Third--> saw how fragile i am and how fierce i could get...but thats the past tense...
Fourth--> learn to be strong...be it in friendship or work...have to be strong.. mayhbe should learn to believe...lost some friends in order to gain better friends..those who left doesnt know how to treasure friends...
Fifth--> in the end, girls will have to depend on girls, relyin on guys is jus a bad choice!
Sixth--> LASTLY, GUYS GAVE ME A BAD IMPRESSION!! hahah..okok..except for the four guys i knew! :)

thru the things i went thru in the end my conclusino for myself is sitll correct...i still ahve to depend on myself..opening up is not something good, friends always tell me off that i never tell them my problems..but sometimes i feel that tellin and not tellin doesnt make any different..so why the need of trouble lettin anoyther into a problem that is none of their business?
gosh..am i becomin more saddist?? am i goin back to the times when i have no laughters? since sec sch, my journey all long have been ups and downs...sometimes i don know what to do to myyself...
but i think i need not fear....
cos sch is startin and i will be able to see JIAYI AND CHER..miss them like hell!!!! they can really brighten my day..i hope so..so many to tell them...hahahha....lets get crazyh again...pls can we? hahahhah...see u guys tml...
a big hug okie? hahhaha :)

Camp ENDED!!!! woooo....5 days and 4 nights camp....give a clap to all the com,GLs,helpers....woo...we endured all the 5 days...in the mornin,shoutin screamimn,playin with all our might...in the night sleepin only 3 hours a day.... havin deeper dark rings...but it is enjoyable and fun..all the cheers and games and SHIM night..and farewell performance....although i might have alot of complain and stuffs but it has ended...so everythin will goes with it...jus hope taht the freshies enjoyed the camp,games..really hope so.... :) but with this camp i become an injured person..first cut on my left ankle,next injuries on my right leg..right at the middle of the leg where it is damm painful only can feel the bone..next is injure my left arm...twisted...wahz..it was damm pain..super pain..then after taht is lost my voice...haiz...but maybe this is a way a camp should be...

this camp only brought me some unnecessary problems..was watchin star wars yesterday, heard a phrase goes likes " you cant bear to lose it thats why u fear to let go" actually i think this is true...if not why we cant bear to let go and keep on clingin on somethin that will never become urs... worse the more u clingin onto, it will only irritate the other party... why not be cool and let go of things that doesnt belong to yourself...so,must be strong and learn to let go...in the end the one get hurt is you and no one else... we can dislike a person in his/her way of doin things, but we can do nothin...we cant go like askin him/her not to do this or that cos we have no rights...no matter how i hate that person we still have to accept the way he/her do their things...we got no choice .......i don know what to say but jus keep in silent firstt.....many things kept inside me.....

hey..peeps..postin again..nothin much..went to work today...workin closin...and my pre-closer was andy...hmm..he improve alot..becomin more hardworkin and all..people like him keep improvin himself yet i did nothin..even at work i felt like i have a competitor..he keeps movin up but i am still there not movin...how can this be? but i am really tired..tired of everythin..jus wish i have the money to jus dump everythin here and go oversea and relax myself...yar..i get to do that only in my dream...

yesterday was the 15th...wooo..our meetin day again..but where's vin? i really super long never see him..guess the last time i saw him was luo's birthday...the next time i gona see him will it be baolong's birthday? woo...that wil be like 3 months never see him..hahha...saw joel yesterday..he super funny..hahha...cannot stand him..heheh....

hmmm....have been watchin show non stop...jap drama..they are short series,touchin and insipring...i like their shows..esp when all teh actors are so charmin..esp takuya kimura..hahhehehhe....and for every show i felt very deeeply for soemtin..i will come to think back to the past sometimes..yar...so many things that i didnt realise huhh...
really..when a train starts movin..there isnt any turnin back for them..unlike a car..u can U-turn anytime u want..but not for trains...wooo....

seriously mood low now..jus had a terrible cry..cos i watch a drama ...very touchin..could still feel my eyes heavy and tired from cryin...hahah...i aint no crybaby jus more emotional thats all...
ANYWAY I AM BACK FROM KL!!! the weather there damm HOT sia..wearin shorts when i goin out..don care ready...but the fun was great...me and rhoda watch terminator until nearly fell asleep...and we always happen to see some censored sence in the tv..hahhahahhaha..thats the funny part..oh ya...she borrowed me her shorts..thanks man..hahha...and the two of us broke until have to eat maggi which is tasteless too...malaysia was funn..we had connector room..cool huh..heheh...but we shut the doors when necessary when sleepin..in order not to hear the guy's snore..hahhahaha...jokin...but to say the truth their room really stink sia...oh ya..and i definitely wont forget the moment that i was in the middle of everyone and they start pokin me..uuntil i really got no voice to shout or laugh or scream...ultimate sia...and i was harass by some little kids...i know they are poor thing..but they scared me off...i went up to the twin tower...malaysia is jus full of buildin and houses and more buildings...ppl there arent friendly..speakin the truth..and their shoppin mall is like never endin...i once saw that the staff od the whole buildin seems bigger than the crowd in the mall..can u believe how big it is...gosh...hahhaha....
oh ya...congrates to BAOLONG...next time i might have someone drivin me to sch huh..hahhaha..jokin...but happy for him..all of us are happy for him...haha..guess he himself also..hehhe...the next one will be kyeo..hahah...COOL!!! YEAH!!!

and jus now somethin goes thru my mind...came back again..gosh...okie ....i am bad...haiz..nothin to say...eyes are heavy from the cryin shall stop here...hehe...

finally here to blog..cos wanted to blog few days ago..but jus didnt... first wanna say I AM LEAVIN FOR KL TML!!but for jus 3 days 2 nights...hahha..but is good enuogh..goin with my gang... yar...but till now still haven pack my bag..hahha..don know what to bring..haha..but i bet kl weather will also be very hot..so not brinin much jeans..not like that time went hongkong..hehe..thats was indeed funn..wasnt lookin forward for hongkong..this time rouund..wasnt also lookin much forward for kl...okie nothin to say botu this...

anyway i will miss my jap drama show..will watch it tonight again before i go sleep..or shopuld i not sleep and sleep in the bus tml..hahhahah...actually quite long never take bus to malaysia le...maybe4 years ago..very long never go back malaysia...hahha...i will miss singapore lahz..hahhah...miss my bed and friends..and seriously this holiday long sia..super long never meet up with jiayi and cher..cher cher jiayi jiayi..miss u guys alot...no one make me laught and laugh..how? hahha..but nvm..we will be in the same class again right..i hope so..hehe...

oh ya...jus read kyeo's blog..hahha..chill k..hahha...some taxi driver are like that one..hahha...and the work "ZAI" right...u guys power lahz..still got energy to go play pool..hahhaha....
okie..will get soemthin for u guys from kl okie..take care..bye :)

gosh...erm..how should i put it in words? to me i think it can be considered a bad dream or scary i should say? haha..i remember this dream very clearly...erm..should i not spell out the name..i really don know..the moment i woke up, sad is what i feel..cos to me it seems like a bad dream....

okok..it goes like me and him(were jus frends in the dream) went to this company to somehow search or do something..then we met our old fren who is his ex...but the funnyy part is, we arent shocked..then after that,i asked her how she is doin and stuffs...then change scene, she and him quarrelled infront of me.. is sort of the girl wanted to patch back,but then he remain silent and motionless... i remember this sentence she said"how come u can like her(which is me)?" he still remain silent...then i think we went off...back to a some sort chalet house? cos somehow all our friends are there....then he sat beside me and told me"hey..can i tell u something..honestly i didnt like u before" then upon hearin it i answered him" then is it bcos i am a close fren of hers thats why .." then he nodded his head.. then this part..i remain silent for a while then threw somethin at him..and broke down in tears..and went off..but i saw myself cryin for quite sometime...
actually the moment i woke up, i was alittle shocked..cos how come i dream of this kind of dream like out of a sudden..maybe it doesnt mean anythin...but still why? it curious me...the moment i woke up, alot of thoughts are in my mind..yar..scared that, that was the truth.. hahha..one word..scary...nothin more can describe that...hahha..yar...really..shocked me..suddenly this dream..
woo...finally said it out here...has been inside from mornin till now..who can i tell ?? hahha..no one.. :)


and i realise maybe i still don know what love is..or should i say how i should love that person..although there are times when i wish i have a acompanion, but to say the truth when it really comes, i guess i wont know how to love,care or do things i should do...and how long my love can continue..it has been erm...around five months plus...and i think i have no feelings anymore...cos jus a normal jap drama can divert my attention..cool huh..i am amaze of myself...maybe this is for the time being..but i don know..if it can distract me now...i think i am an easily distracted person be it in studies,work or relationship..so sometimes come to think of it..MAYBE it is good stayin single..wont scared to be distracted and wont commit that much..YA..the word is COMMIT.hahha...maybe i cant commit into it for too long? hahhaha...being feel down recently anyway..and whole body not feelin well...back ache,muscle ache..arm ache..headache the worse..panadol also cannot cure... hahhaha...

guess it has been soemtimes since i post...it isnt that there is nothin to blog..but kinda of busy..hahah..busy watchin TV DRAMA...gosh i am back into Takuya Kimura..he is damm handsome...superb..very..awesoem..he is super charmin..i mean i don only like him bcos he is handsome..but because he is the only actor that any role he is also able to act....make the role seems so alive..like really put himself in the role and as if he went thru those things...he actin skills superb..i admire him..i love him..hahhaha...how can there be such a perfect man in this world..so handsome..actin skills superb..singin also nice...wahz...the wife is damm lucky..the daughter also..ahhahhai feel that jap drama is very insirpring...every show i watch taught me somethin..and i want to be that character in the show...yar..hahah...now i am havin terrible headache..haiz...and sore throat soon... :(